[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:01.25,0:00:03.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She did not dump me
Dialogue: 0,0:00:03.36,0:00:04.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it was a mutual breakup, ok?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:04.80,0:00:06.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SHUT UP!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:06.25,0:00:08.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Have you ever been so completely in love
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.42,0:00:10.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with your girlfriend that you just knew you
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.40,0:00:12.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wanted to spend the rest of your life with her?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.74,0:00:15.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Me neither! So I'm going to tell you how to
Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.00,0:00:17.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,dump that bitch!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.23,0:00:20.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Insult her style!"
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.40,0:00:21.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How do I look?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.68,0:00:24.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You look like a cow...?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:24.17,0:00:27.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well F{\b1}* you a{\b0}hole!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.03,0:00:29.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Great!"
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.23,0:00:30.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Play World of Warcraft"
Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.65,0:00:34.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Alright, let tanks get agro before you start DPSing
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.13,0:00:37.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Noob! Don't stand in the fire!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.13,0:00:39.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,OK, oh God dammit I need a healer up here
Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.64,0:00:40.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whatcha doing?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.65,0:00:42.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Shut the f{\i1}*{\i0} up I'm reigning!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.63,0:00:44.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Wow!"
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.23,0:00:45.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Cheat on her!"
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.65,0:00:47.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hey, you free for dinner?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.07,0:00:50.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Uh, no, sorry, I'm busy tonight
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.08,0:00:52.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Oh, Anthony, I love you so much'
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.32,0:00:56.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I love you too new girlfriend. Uh, yeah I'm
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.40,0:00:58.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so super busy tonight.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.30,0:01:01.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Oh come over here and let me give you
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.46,0:01:04.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a blow...torch.'
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.97,0:01:06.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Busted!"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.87,0:01:08.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Do it over text message"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.19,0:01:14.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You wanna break cups with me?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.14,0:01:17.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Damn you AutoCorrect!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.21,0:01:19.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"iPhowned!"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.25,0:01:22.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Always mention your ex"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.31,0:01:26.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You like that?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.19,0:01:28.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Brenda did it better, but whatever...
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.29,0:01:32.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know I never learned how to tie a double knot!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.21,0:01:34.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Shoe noob!"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:34.11,0:01:35.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Act like a 5-year-old"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.96,0:01:38.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Alright, I get the joke, stop it!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.06,0:01:39.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Alright, I get the joke, stop it!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.79,0:01:40.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean it! I mean it!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.72,0:01:42.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My name is Anthony and I'm a douche.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.83,0:01:44.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My name is Anthony and I'm a douche.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.25,0:01:46.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh my God, I can't take this anymore!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.78,0:01:53.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Copy this, you son of a bitch!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.55,0:01:55.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Suicide Bonus!"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.61,0:01:57.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Fake a pregnancy scare"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.96,0:01:58.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The condom broke
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.23,0:02:03.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wait, we've never had sex...?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.88,0:02:07.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then explain, why I'm PREGNANT!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.50,0:02:09.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Congratulations!"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.34,0:02:11.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Never talk to her again"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.98,0:02:14.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Anthony! Hi!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.03,0:02:16.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, hey this is my wife, Meg.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.46,0:02:19.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wait, what do you mean wife, I'm still your girlfriend!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.92,0:02:22.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think completely ignoring you made it pretty obvious...
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.62,0:02:27.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've been waiting for 10 years... DICK!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.96,0:02:29.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Ruined a life!"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.80,0:02:33.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Fake your own death"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.02,0:02:36.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,WHYYY!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.64,0:02:38.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because your a b{\i1}*{\i0}*
Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.99,0:02:41.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wait, what?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.52,0:02:47.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sometmes the dead can send a message, from beyond.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:47.04,0:02:52.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have beautiful eyes.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.90,0:02:54.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What the hell?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.48,0:02:55.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Sloppy seconds!"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.97,0:03:00.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If all else fails, be honest with her.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.09,0:03:02.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I just don't think things are working out...
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.39,0:03:04.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I just think we should break up.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:04.48,0:03:06.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah I don't think that's a good idea.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.41,0:03:07.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.94,0:03:10.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah my daddy's a cop
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.84,0:03:12.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Stop right there!.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:12.26,0:03:14.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're a great guy, and have a stable job!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.47,0:03:16.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't break up with her!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:16.35,0:03:18.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm sorry, I just don't love her anymore!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.90,0:03:20.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bulls{\i1}*{\i0}!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.74,0:03:29.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.77,0:03:32.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Finger Bang'd!"
Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.49,0:03:35.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To see bloopers, and some more ways to dump your
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.16,0:03:40.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,girlfriend, click the link in the description below.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.84,0:03:42.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Stop right there!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.42,0:03:44.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Did you click Subscribe? No?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.61,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bang! Bang! Bang!