[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.58,0:00:02.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Joe Kowan: I have stage fright.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:02.07,0:00:03.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've always had stage fright,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:03.57,0:00:05.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and not just a little bit,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:05.40,0:00:07.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's a big bit.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:07.19,0:00:09.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it didn't even matter until I was 27.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:09.98,0:00:12.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's when I started writing songs, and even then
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.54,0:00:14.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I only played them for myself.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.34,0:00:18.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just knowing my roommates were in the \Nsame house made me uncomfortable.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.08,0:00:20.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But after a couple of years, \Njust writing songs wasn't enough.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.89,0:00:23.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had all these stories and ideas,\Nand I wanted to share them with people,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.91,0:00:27.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but physiologically, I couldn't do it.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.22,0:00:30.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had this irrational fear.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.14,0:00:32.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the more I wrote, and the more I practiced,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.30,0:00:33.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the more I wanted to perform.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.49,0:00:35.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So on the week of my 30th birthday,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.55,0:00:38.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I decided I was going to go to this local open mic,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.50,0:00:40.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and put this fear behind me.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.22,0:00:43.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, when I got there, it was packed.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.07,0:00:45.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There were like 20 people there.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.05,0:00:46.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.93,0:00:49.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they all looked angry.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.54,0:00:53.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I took a deep breath, and I signed up to play,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.14,0:00:54.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I felt pretty good.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.63,0:00:57.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pretty good, until about 10 minutes before my turn,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.69,0:01:03.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when my whole body rebelled, and \Nthis wave of anxiety just washed over me.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.16,0:01:06.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, when you experience fear, \Nyour sympathetic nervous system kicks in.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.71,0:01:09.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you have a rush of adrenaline, \Nyour heart rate increases,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.55,0:01:11.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your breathing gets faster.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.01,0:01:17.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Next your non-essential systems start \Nto shut down, like digestion. (Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.18,0:01:20.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So your mouth gets dry, and blood is routed\Naway from your extremities,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.54,0:01:23.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so your fingers don't work anymore.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.14,0:01:26.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Your pupils dilate, your muscles contract,\Nyour Spidey sense tingles,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.27,0:01:31.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,basically your whole body is trigger-happy.\N(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.45,0:01:36.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That condition is not conducive \Nto performing folk music.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.23,0:01:37.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.80,0:01:40.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, your nervous system is an idiot.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.43,0:01:44.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Really? Two hundred thousand years of human evolution, and it still can't tell the difference
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.24,0:01:46.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,between a saber tooth tiger and 20 folksingers
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.61,0:01:48.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on a Tuesday night open mic?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.68,0:01:50.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.12,0:01:54.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have never been more terrified -- until now.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.17,0:02:00.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter and cheers)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.25,0:02:05.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So then it was my turn,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.76,0:02:08.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and somehow, I get myself onto \Nthe stage, I start my song,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.84,0:02:11.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I open my mouth to sing the first line,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.48,0:02:13.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and this completely horrible vibrato --
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.44,0:02:15.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know, when your voice wavers -- \Ncomes streaming out.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.93,0:02:18.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this is not the good kind of vibrato, \Nlike an opera singer has,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.54,0:02:21.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this is my whole body just convulsing with fear.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.24,0:02:22.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, it's a nightmare.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.89,0:02:25.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm embarrassed, the audience \Nis clearly uncomfortable,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.36,0:02:27.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they're focused on my discomfort.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.71,0:02:31.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was so bad.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.48,0:02:35.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But that was my first real experience \Nas a solo singer-songwriter.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.42,0:02:38.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And something good did happen --\NI had the tiniest little glimpse
Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.44,0:02:40.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of that audience connection that I was hoping for.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.92,0:02:44.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I wanted more. But I knew \NI had to get past this nervousness.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:44.93,0:02:48.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That night I promised myself: \NI would go back every week
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.10,0:02:50.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,until I wasn't nervous anymore.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.03,0:02:52.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I did. I went back every single week,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.92,0:02:56.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and sure enough, week after week,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.73,0:03:00.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it didn't get any better. The same \Nthing happened every week. (Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.90,0:03:02.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I couldn't shake it.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.85,0:03:04.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's when I had an epiphany.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:04.52,0:03:10.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I remember it really well, because I \Ndon't have a lot of epiphanies. (Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.53,0:03:14.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All I had to do was write a song \Nthat exploits my nervousness.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.16,0:03:16.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That only seems authentic when I have stage fright,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:16.28,0:03:17.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the more nervous I was,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.57,0:03:20.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the better the song would be. Easy.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.16,0:03:24.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I started writing a song about having stage fright.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.99,0:03:27.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,First, fessing up to the problem,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.05,0:03:28.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the physical manifestations, how I would feel,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.88,0:03:30.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how the listener might feel.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.31,0:03:32.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then accounting for things like my shaky voice,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.92,0:03:35.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I knew I would be singing about a \Nhalf-octave higher than normal,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.85,0:03:37.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I was nervous.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.96,0:03:41.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,By having a song that explained \Nwhat was happening to me,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.03,0:03:42.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,while it was happening,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.52,0:03:44.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that gave the audience permission to think about it.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.38,0:03:47.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They didn't have to feel bad \Nfor me because I was nervous,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:47.14,0:03:48.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they could experience that with me,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:48.86,0:03:54.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we were all one big happy, nervous, \Nuncomfortable family. (Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.11,0:03:58.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,By thinking about my audience, \Nby embracing and exploiting my problem,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.92,0:04:01.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was able to take something \Nthat was blocking my progress,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.86,0:04:05.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and turn it into something that \Nwas essential for my success.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.79,0:04:08.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And having the stage fright song let \Nme get past that biggest issue
Dialogue: 0,0:04:08.81,0:04:10.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,right in the beginning of a performance.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:10.63,0:04:12.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then I could move on, \Nand play the rest of my songs
Dialogue: 0,0:04:12.17,0:04:15.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with just a little bit more ease.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.43,0:04:21.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And eventually, over time, I didn't \Nhave to play the stage fright song at all.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.70,0:04:27.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Except for when I was really \Nnervous, like now. (Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:28.94,0:04:31.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Would it be okay if I played the \Nstage fright song for you?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:31.67,0:04:36.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.75,0:04:43.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Can I have a sip of water?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:43.72,0:04:47.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Music)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.14,0:04:50.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:55.44,0:04:58.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ I'm not joking, you know, ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:04:58.36,0:05:03.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ this stage fright is real. ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:05:03.99,0:05:07.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ And if I'm up here trembling and singing, ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:05:07.20,0:05:11.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ well, you'll know how I feel. ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.55,0:05:15.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ And the mistake I'd be making, ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:05:15.47,0:05:19.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ the tremolo caused by my whole body shaking. ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:05:19.40,0:05:22.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ As you sit there feeling embarrassed for me, ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:05:22.86,0:05:25.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ well, you don't have to be. ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:05:25.91,0:05:28.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ Well, maybe just a little bit. ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.42,0:05:29.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:29.82,0:05:37.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ And maybe I'll try to imagine \Nyou all without clothes. ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.70,0:05:45.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ But singing in front of all naked strangers\Nscares me more than anyone knows. ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:05:45.58,0:05:49.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ Not to discuss this at length, ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:05:49.53,0:05:54.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ but my body image was never my strength. ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:05:54.78,0:05:58.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ So frankly, I wish that you all would get dressed, ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:05:58.31,0:06:03.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ I mean, you're not even really naked. ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:06:03.20,0:06:06.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ And I'm the one with the problem. ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:06:06.55,0:06:13.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ And you tell me, don't worry \Nso much, you'll be great. ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:06:13.81,0:06:16.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ But I'm the one living with me ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:06:16.62,0:06:18.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ and I know how I get. ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:06:18.94,0:06:23.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ Your advice is gentle but late. ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:06:23.08,0:06:26.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ If not just a bit patronizing. ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:06:26.53,0:06:31.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ And that sarcastic tone doesn't \Nhelp me when I sing. ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:06:31.36,0:06:35.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ But we shouldn't talk about \Nthese things right now, ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:06:35.25,0:06:42.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ really, I'm up on stage, and \Nyou're in the crowd. Hi. ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:06:42.14,0:06:51.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ And I'm not making fun of \Nunnurtured, irrational fear, ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:06:51.36,0:06:54.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ and if I wasn't ready to face this, ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:06:54.28,0:06:58.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ I sure as hell wouldn't be here. ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:06:58.81,0:07:03.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ But if I belt one note out clearly, ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:07:03.94,0:07:08.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ you'll know I'm recovering slowly but surely. ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:07:08.23,0:07:12.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ And maybe next week, I'll set my guitar ringin' ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:07:12.19,0:07:16.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ my voice clear as water, and everyone singin'. ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:07:16.55,0:07:20.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ But probably I'll just get up and start groovin', ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:07:20.32,0:07:23.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ my vocal cords movin', ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:07:23.72,0:07:32.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ at speeds slightly faster than sound. ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:07:36.02,0:07:41.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)