1
00:00:05,833 --> 00:00:08,120
The day that changed my destiny

2
00:00:08,120 --> 00:00:11,692
was an ordinary day, like all others.

3
00:00:14,619 --> 00:00:18,582
One of those cold winter nights
when all you want to do,

4
00:00:18,582 --> 00:00:23,622
is to make a cup of tea,
pick up a good novel, sit on the couch,

5
00:00:23,622 --> 00:00:27,064
next to the fireplace and enjoy life.

6
00:00:27,064 --> 00:00:29,208
But I had to go to work.

7
00:00:31,672 --> 00:00:34,392
More importantly, in the afternoon,

8
00:00:34,392 --> 00:00:38,818
I had to take my 2-year-old
to her routine checkup.

9
00:00:38,818 --> 00:00:42,020
The next day was her second birthday,

10
00:00:43,309 --> 00:00:45,690
But that day was not a normal day,

11
00:00:45,690 --> 00:00:48,879
and that checkup was not a routine one.

12
00:00:48,879 --> 00:00:51,697
At 5 am the next morning,

13
00:00:52,705 --> 00:00:58,229
I was standing in behind the doors
of the hospital operating room.

14
00:00:58,229 --> 00:01:00,624
From the small window,

15
00:01:02,043 --> 00:01:07,156
I was watching the heated debate
amongst the physicians

16
00:01:07,156 --> 00:01:09,735
over what they should do.

17
00:01:10,301 --> 00:01:14,028
My little girl, was laying on the bed,
under anesthesia.

18
00:01:14,028 --> 00:01:17,881
No one had told me anything since 6 pm,
the day before about what had happened.

19
00:01:17,881 --> 00:01:21,565
With all my questions, all my anxiety,

20
00:01:24,302 --> 00:01:27,983
I could clearly see from their faces
that something is very wrong.

21
00:01:27,983 --> 00:01:33,483
No one would tell me anything more
than what they thought I needed to know.

22
00:01:33,483 --> 00:01:37,038
It was my right to know,
but they did not give me that.

23
00:01:37,038 --> 00:01:40,791
I felt anger on top of all
that was going on.

24
00:01:42,175 --> 00:01:45,567
I had no choice but to stand there.

25
00:01:45,567 --> 00:01:47,914
I had done all the yelling and screaming.

26
00:01:47,914 --> 00:01:49,944
I had told them I didn't believe them.

27
00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:53,098
I had told them I won't let anyone
touch my little girl,

28
00:01:53,098 --> 00:01:56,157
I won't let anyone operate
on my two year old child,

29
00:01:56,157 --> 00:02:01,725
that I'd fly this very night
to another place that had better resources

30
00:02:02,192 --> 00:02:06,252
so they could tell me without surgery
what was wrong.

31
00:02:06,252 --> 00:02:10,697
But they told me
that every minute counts now.

32
00:02:10,697 --> 00:02:15,667
So I had to stand there,
quietly, patiently.

33
00:02:16,027 --> 00:02:18,860
That was nearly impossible.

34
00:02:18,860 --> 00:02:23,132
You all know that look on the face
of someone about to deliver bad news.

35
00:02:23,132 --> 00:02:26,381
Seeing that face, you won't wait for news,

36
00:02:26,381 --> 00:02:28,627
your whole world begins to spin.

37
00:02:28,627 --> 00:02:31,107
For me, that bad news was like a tsunami.

38
00:02:31,107 --> 00:02:36,592
All my life, future plans,
happiness, comfort,

39
00:02:38,242 --> 00:02:43,782
feeling of serendipity, everything
was washed away by this tsunami.

40
00:02:44,642 --> 00:02:49,542
It took me a long time to realize
that bad news is not bad in essence.

41
00:02:49,542 --> 00:02:53,220
It takes time to discover
whether the news is good or bad.

42
00:02:53,220 --> 00:02:55,465
But on that day,

43
00:02:58,183 --> 00:03:01,527
that news was a very bad one for me.

44
00:03:01,527 --> 00:03:04,550
It paralyzed me from making a decision.

45
00:03:05,899 --> 00:03:09,808
A relentless anger burned inside me
as strong as a dragon.

46
00:03:10,528 --> 00:03:14,528
Why? Why my little angel? Why me?

47
00:03:16,435 --> 00:03:18,665
What have I done to deserve this?

48
00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:22,015
For my little girl to have cancer? Cancer?

49
00:03:22,015 --> 00:03:25,385
My 2 year old, on the eve of her birthday.

50
00:03:26,332 --> 00:03:31,385
In life, we all face unbelievable moments,

51
00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:38,370
unbelievable events when we know
we have no choice but to surrender.

52
00:03:40,112 --> 00:03:42,994
We immediately started treatment

53
00:03:44,302 --> 00:03:46,232
because in the doctors' opinion,

54
00:03:46,232 --> 00:03:49,592
one displaced cancerous cell
could change everything

55
00:03:49,592 --> 00:03:52,601
and treatment needed to start right away.

56
00:03:52,601 --> 00:03:57,331
After a week of going back and forth
to the hospital where she was,

57
00:03:57,331 --> 00:04:01,101
because of the long distance
and Tehran's bad traffic,

58
00:04:01,101 --> 00:04:06,381
and the friendship of the medical team,
who were family friends,

59
00:04:06,381 --> 00:04:09,671
my daughter was transferred
to the Shohada Hospital in Tajrish Sq.,

60
00:04:09,671 --> 00:04:11,562
closer to my home.

61
00:04:13,066 --> 00:04:17,871
I assumed all this will make things
a bit easier but the first day

62
00:04:17,871 --> 00:04:24,150
I entered the new hospital I realized how
small I was in the grand scheme of things.

63
00:04:26,695 --> 00:04:29,537
I didn't feel any less angry
but in that moment,

64
00:04:29,537 --> 00:04:32,537
I realized that for 30 years,

65
00:04:32,537 --> 00:04:35,886
I had walked by the tall and cold walls

66
00:04:35,886 --> 00:04:40,099
of that place an never once thought
about what went on inside.

67
00:04:40,109 --> 00:04:44,899
All desperate people sitting in there,
all the people waiting for something.

68
00:04:44,899 --> 00:04:50,749
I'd passed by these walls
on my way to university or elsewhere,

69
00:04:50,749 --> 00:04:55,166
not thinking of the mass of people
spending impossible moments

70
00:04:55,166 --> 00:04:57,596
on the other side.

71
00:04:57,596 --> 00:05:00,736
How come I had never stepped
foot into this place?

72
00:05:00,736 --> 00:05:04,116
What could I do now? Nothing!
I was there for my own child.

73
00:05:04,116 --> 00:05:06,698
I was desperate with my own problem.

74
00:05:06,698 --> 00:05:08,138
I couldn't do anything.

75
00:05:08,658 --> 00:05:10,848
So, we continued the treatment.

76
00:05:13,992 --> 00:05:18,232
The cold winter days passed.
Norouz celebration arrived.

77
00:05:18,232 --> 00:05:20,976
Norouz which bore so much meaning
for everyone else,

78
00:05:20,976 --> 00:05:23,421
was meaningless to me.

79
00:05:23,421 --> 00:05:27,120
In fact, I felt upset that everyone thinks
all is well and joyous,

80
00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:31,383
celebrating the arrival of spring,
with all colorful customs of the New Year.

81
00:05:31,383 --> 00:05:33,485
Time had stopped for me.

82
00:05:33,485 --> 00:05:36,255
Nothing else, not my family,

83
00:05:36,255 --> 00:05:38,825
not my other child existed for me.

84
00:05:40,405 --> 00:05:42,695
The holidays passed.

85
00:05:42,695 --> 00:05:46,975
The day after I had to go back
to the hospital,

86
00:05:46,975 --> 00:05:51,515
to review the plans
for second rounds of chemo,

87
00:05:52,735 --> 00:05:53,735
and there...

88
00:05:55,405 --> 00:06:00,335
I saw Maryam, one of the mothers
who I'd always noticed.

89
00:06:00,335 --> 00:06:03,325
She is a middle aged woman,

90
00:06:03,325 --> 00:06:06,435
with a face showing signs of starvation,

91
00:06:06,435 --> 00:06:09,763
with shabby clothes, but... dignified.

92
00:06:10,985 --> 00:06:16,535
She had a 13 year old boy
that was always barefoot on her shoulder.

93
00:06:17,855 --> 00:06:20,305
We had come and gone before Norouz.

94
00:06:20,305 --> 00:06:25,336
This time too I saw her going in,
carrying a bundle of herbs,

95
00:06:25,336 --> 00:06:28,815
a bouquet of flowers and her son. 


96
00:06:31,193 --> 00:06:33,730
I quickly nodded and passed by her.
That's it.

97
00:06:34,025 --> 00:06:36,514
I wasn't even polite enough

98
00:06:36,514 --> 00:06:39,567
to wish her happy New year.

99
00:06:39,567 --> 00:06:44,904
I passed her as I did not want to spend
even one extra minute in that place.

100
00:06:46,264 --> 00:06:49,560
As I walked a few steps past,
she called to me.

101
00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:51,685
I thought, oh gosh,

102
00:06:51,685 --> 00:06:54,404
I bet she wants to wish me
happy New year...

103
00:06:54,404 --> 00:06:57,109
Happy New year to yourself.

104
00:06:57,109 --> 00:06:59,021
I don't think it's happy at all.

105
00:06:59,021 --> 00:07:02,477
Or, she's trying to get ahead of me.
So I ignored her and kept wlaking.

106
00:07:02,477 --> 00:07:03,797
She called again.

107
00:07:03,797 --> 00:07:06,517
I thought, ok, now I'll turn around
and tell her,

108
00:07:06,517 --> 00:07:09,187
"You know what dear, I'm very busy today.

109
00:07:09,187 --> 00:07:12,137
I have to go, sorry,
I can't stop and chat."

110
00:07:12,137 --> 00:07:14,187
So... I turned around.

111
00:07:16,267 --> 00:07:19,908
I turned and saw face
glowing like the moon,

112
00:07:22,037 --> 00:07:25,039
two eyes full of sunshine.

113
00:07:30,832 --> 00:07:34,442
(Applause)

114
00:07:41,885 --> 00:07:45,815
A bouquet of wildflowers, lilies, tulips,

115
00:07:45,815 --> 00:07:51,788
narcissus, all shades of purple and red,
and green in front of me.

116
00:07:53,295 --> 00:07:57,195
Then she said: "I picked these
from Turkmen Sahra,

117
00:07:57,195 --> 00:08:00,137
I prayed that I'd see you,

118
00:08:00,137 --> 00:08:03,207
I wanted to tell you, God is great.

119
00:08:03,207 --> 00:08:05,438
Why are you so restless?

120
00:08:05,438 --> 00:08:09,014
Be calm, this too will pass
it will all pass.

121
00:08:10,255 --> 00:08:15,782
I apologize for getting emotional,
though it's been some twenty years now.

122
00:08:18,237 --> 00:08:23,809
It is because in that moment all my pulses
stopped, everything stopped.

123
00:08:25,827 --> 00:08:29,927
Even my heart, I think even my heart,
stopped beating for a few seconds.

124
00:08:29,937 --> 00:08:32,874
I thought what am I to do now?

125
00:08:33,897 --> 00:08:36,347
Did I really ignore this woman?

126
00:08:36,347 --> 00:08:39,589
Was I really going talk
to her in that way?

127
00:08:39,589 --> 00:08:42,139
What was I thinking? Who am I?

128
00:08:42,139 --> 00:08:45,019
Who am I? Who is this? Who am I?

129
00:08:45,119 --> 00:08:47,322
And in those moments...

130
00:08:47,692 --> 00:08:53,962
Seeing my struggle, she placed the flowers
on my daughter's lap in the stroller,

131
00:08:53,962 --> 00:08:56,818
on her skirt, and went away.

132
00:09:02,582 --> 00:09:06,812
I remained there, with a light
that suddenly lit up inside me.

133
00:09:06,812 --> 00:09:09,412
And I saw myself from Maryam's eyes.

134
00:09:09,412 --> 00:09:14,517
I saw an angry, entitled woman who always
has a reason to be dissatisfied,

135
00:09:16,869 --> 00:09:19,139
who thinks that she's different,

136
00:09:20,405 --> 00:09:24,505
who is now squatting in the corner
of her cold, dark, lonely cave.

137
00:09:25,417 --> 00:09:28,577
Why? Because I had pushed away my friends.

138
00:09:28,577 --> 00:09:31,830
Because I hated being the subject of pity.

139
00:09:33,169 --> 00:09:37,059
I had stopped my family
because they had all kinds of suggestions,

140
00:09:37,059 --> 00:09:39,849
each one saying something different:
do this, do that.

141
00:09:39,849 --> 00:09:41,839
I had told everyone I didn't want them,

142
00:09:41,839 --> 00:09:44,569
that I want to focus all my energy
on this child,

143
00:09:44,569 --> 00:09:46,739
receiving multiple CCs
of poison every day,

144
00:09:46,739 --> 00:09:50,109
whose veins are burning, who is screaming,
"I'm burning, I'm burning!"

145
00:09:50,109 --> 00:09:54,059
None of you know what you're talking
about, I don't want your advice.

146
00:09:54,059 --> 00:09:55,799
I had pushed away her doctors.

147
00:09:55,799 --> 00:09:58,499
They did their job of course,

148
00:09:58,499 --> 00:10:01,802
but they knew I didn't believe in them.

149
00:10:03,229 --> 00:10:07,029
I looked and saw myself
in the corner of the cave, sitting alone,

150
00:10:07,029 --> 00:10:10,081
building thicker walls each day.

151
00:10:14,871 --> 00:10:18,341
But I could hear
the cracks in the ice too.

152
00:10:18,341 --> 00:10:20,511
I could hear them breaking down.

153
00:10:20,511 --> 00:10:23,111
A ray of light shining through the cracks

154
00:10:23,141 --> 00:10:28,591
was showing me, sitting in the corner,
squatting with my head on my knees.

155
00:10:32,051 --> 00:10:35,891
I thought... I have no choice,
but to go forward,

156
00:10:35,891 --> 00:10:38,426
to pick myself off the ground and say,

157
00:10:38,426 --> 00:10:40,876
"Get up Saideh, get up!

158
00:10:42,252 --> 00:10:45,332
Come to your senses!
Watch Maryam!

159
00:10:45,332 --> 00:10:48,851
She has a thousandth of your resources,

160
00:10:51,672 --> 00:10:53,672
she gives what little is in her power.

161
00:10:53,672 --> 00:10:58,362
She has picked these flowers for you,
from the other side of the world.

162
00:10:58,372 --> 00:11:02,752
Who are you? Be the kind of person
that is worthy of this love,

163
00:11:02,762 --> 00:11:04,222
Learn something!"

164
00:11:04,222 --> 00:11:07,121
In those moments of awareness,

165
00:11:08,217 --> 00:11:12,217
I believe I subconsciously
made a promise to myself

166
00:11:12,217 --> 00:11:16,217
that from that day forth,
I would seek to learn

167
00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:22,187
Maryam and the Maryams of the world,
and dedicate my life to serving them.

168
00:11:24,589 --> 00:11:27,059
I wasn't fully aware of the promise.

169
00:11:27,059 --> 00:11:29,439
It was just a fire
that Maryam had lit inside me.

170
00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:31,459
This woman had 4 children.

171
00:11:31,459 --> 00:11:35,699
She worked in the rice paddies
in the north of Iran.

172
00:11:35,699 --> 00:11:37,009
And...

173
00:11:38,019 --> 00:11:40,060
her husband had died in the war.

174
00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:45,740
And since this was the period
right after the war in Iran,

175
00:11:45,740 --> 00:11:50,560
due to resource scarcity,
the priority of the healthcare system

176
00:11:51,850 --> 00:11:55,090
was saving soldiers and their families,


177
00:11:56,559 --> 00:11:59,379
but not a child with cancer.

178
00:12:00,559 --> 00:12:03,709
Because the understanding back then,

179
00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:09,988
we're talking some 20 years ago, was:
a child with cancer will eventually die.

180
00:12:09,998 --> 00:12:14,688
In those days, the only people fighting
for them were their mothers.

181
00:12:14,702 --> 00:12:18,882
A mother, if her child is a month old,
and is lost in the depth of the ocean,

182
00:12:18,892 --> 00:12:21,022
she will dive in to save her,

183
00:12:21,022 --> 00:12:24,182
because she'd still have hope
that she can save her child.

184
00:12:24,182 --> 00:12:26,422
So, it was the mothers who were fighting.

185
00:12:26,422 --> 00:12:28,892
Maryam was one of those mothers.

186
00:12:28,892 --> 00:12:31,562
She was carrying her 13 year old child
on her shoulders,

187
00:12:31,562 --> 00:12:33,252
to Tehran to get treated.

188
00:12:35,423 --> 00:12:38,313
I had made a promise to myself.

189
00:12:38,313 --> 00:12:40,847
The first was to learn from Maryam.

190
00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:45,797
Maryam's secret is something
all of us in this place need.

191
00:12:45,797 --> 00:12:49,254
Live without expectation,
love without expectation.

192
00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:51,830
Give without expectation.

193
00:12:51,830 --> 00:12:54,140
Her only expectation was of herself.

194
00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:57,150
Everything she wanted,
she wanted it of herself.

195
00:12:57,150 --> 00:13:02,253
This trait was so powerful in this woman
that she filled her surrounding

196
00:13:03,010 --> 00:13:09,063
with her energy and made an impact,
as she had changed my world.

197
00:13:13,363 --> 00:13:17,593
The second part of my promise
was to live a life of service to them.

198
00:13:17,593 --> 00:13:19,043
As I took the first steps,

199
00:13:19,043 --> 00:13:21,453
naturally there was the perception,

200
00:13:21,453 --> 00:13:23,743
"Pfff...a child with cancer...
in this country...

201
00:13:23,743 --> 00:13:25,413
such expensive medicine."

202
00:13:25,413 --> 00:13:29,033
This, that, and the other thing,
"Why would anyone bother?"

203
00:13:29,033 --> 00:13:31,603
The officials would dismiss me saying,

204
00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:35,733
"Go home lady, children with cancer
are a lost cause."

205
00:13:36,823 --> 00:13:41,563
But I was compelled,
not through my own willpower,

206
00:13:41,563 --> 00:13:45,623
but emboldened by the fire
that Maryam has lit inside me.

207
00:13:45,623 --> 00:13:48,933
There was no room for second thoughts.

208
00:13:48,933 --> 00:13:51,740
So I kept going, my going was first steps.

209
00:13:54,963 --> 00:13:58,023
And then, it was help pouring in
from all sides.

210
00:13:58,023 --> 00:13:59,873
You, sitting in this audience,

211
00:14:00,613 --> 00:14:01,893
I am certain

212
00:14:02,673 --> 00:14:04,983
that you are the same helpers,

213
00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:07,353
at least 80-90% of you are,

214
00:14:07,353 --> 00:14:10,437
people who have helped us on this path.

215
00:14:11,444 --> 00:14:13,066
What was the result?

216
00:14:13,066 --> 00:14:15,672
The result is that today, in homeland,

217
00:14:16,696 --> 00:14:20,127
no child with cancer will die of poverty.

218
00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:24,079
(Applause)

219
00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:39,094
If you allow me to continue,
you will like hearing the rest even more.

220
00:14:40,140 --> 00:14:43,473
Because you are applauding yourself,

221
00:14:44,530 --> 00:14:48,300
and the people who created a miracle,
by trusting each other and joining force.

222
00:14:48,300 --> 00:14:51,307
What happened is that no father
had to stand ashamed anymore

223
00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:56,987
at the pharmacy counter
because he has no money for the medicine.

224
00:14:56,997 --> 00:15:02,497
No mother had to crawl in the dark cave
because she didn't know what has happened

225
00:15:02,497 --> 00:15:05,687
and couldn't accept
what those around her told her.

226
00:15:05,687 --> 00:15:09,721
Because, now, there is an organization
of this scale supporting them.

227
00:15:09,721 --> 00:15:14,271
They have access to many volunteer,
professional psychologists,

228
00:15:14,271 --> 00:15:17,086
who teach them how to cope
with these problems.

229
00:15:17,086 --> 00:15:21,586
Their other children,
the sisters and brothers,

230
00:15:21,586 --> 00:15:24,346
don't have to miss school anymore

231
00:15:24,346 --> 00:15:27,986
because their parents can continue
their normal lives,

232
00:15:27,986 --> 00:15:30,016
while solving this problem.

233
00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:32,699
You have made all of this possible.

234
00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:37,336
This is what I wanted to share with you.

235
00:15:38,094 --> 00:15:42,479
In going through this journey
I have discovered an absolute truth:

236
00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:48,834
Within every human being,
without exception,

237
00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:52,876
there is a seed of a miracle.

238
00:15:56,692 --> 00:15:59,682
Some due to circumstances...

239
00:16:00,725 --> 00:16:05,405
Some spend their life
in complete ignorance like I was.

240
00:16:06,625 --> 00:16:08,985
In that world that they're in,
they have no time,

241
00:16:08,985 --> 00:16:11,983
no opportunity to pay attention
to this seed.

242
00:16:11,983 --> 00:16:14,133
We can't blame them.

243
00:16:15,083 --> 00:16:19,343
Life happened for me this way,
so I followed this path.

244
00:16:19,343 --> 00:16:22,203
My genes, my upbringing,
my family, all of it.

245
00:16:22,203 --> 00:16:26,303
I didn't even know the seed existed,
so I had no way to look for it.

246
00:16:26,303 --> 00:16:29,213
Until life slapped me awake.

247
00:16:30,203 --> 00:16:34,473
But some people are seeking it,
and seeking...

248
00:16:34,473 --> 00:16:36,433
I, instead of...

249
00:16:38,243 --> 00:16:41,463
instead of regret, sadness, and self-pity,

250
00:16:41,463 --> 00:16:45,223
which is a habit incrusted in us,
and we all have to feel sorry for it.

251
00:16:45,223 --> 00:16:47,813
From morning to night
and from night to morning

252
00:16:47,813 --> 00:16:52,532
we blame everyone for everything
that has happened to us except ourselves.

253
00:16:52,532 --> 00:16:55,755
Instead of why,
maybe the better question is:

254
00:16:57,852 --> 00:17:01,562
How shall we get out of this situation?

255
00:17:02,442 --> 00:17:05,581
What are the ways out of this problem?

256
00:17:05,581 --> 00:17:09,111
The hardest steps are the first steps.

257
00:17:10,517 --> 00:17:14,567
If we take them,
the universe will push us forward.

258
00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:19,306
The universe is searching for those
who want to create change.

259
00:17:19,607 --> 00:17:22,247
You can see this in your life.

260
00:17:22,247 --> 00:17:26,037
This has nothing to do
with university or wealth.

261
00:17:26,037 --> 00:17:29,761
This has everything to do
with a seeking mind.

262
00:17:30,137 --> 00:17:33,527
A mind that does not surrender
to obstacles,

263
00:17:33,527 --> 00:17:36,510
a mind that searches for a solution.

264
00:17:36,917 --> 00:17:40,987
Once that has happened,
there is no stopping it.

265
00:17:40,987 --> 00:17:46,502
You will see that you will also become
one of miracle workers of the world.

266
00:17:47,007 --> 00:17:50,037
The only question
that we must ask today is:

267
00:17:50,046 --> 00:17:51,876
What will be my miracle?

268
00:17:52,220 --> 00:17:53,070
Thank you.

269
00:17:53,161 --> 00:17:54,431
(Applause)