[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.72,0:00:04.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm going to share with you\Na paradigm-shifting perspective
Dialogue: 0,0:00:04.05,0:00:07.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on the issues of gender violence:\Nsexual assault, domestic violence,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:07.35,0:00:10.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,relationship abuse, sexual harassment,\Nsexual abuse of children.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.54,0:00:11.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That whole range of issues
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.87,0:00:14.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I'll refer to in shorthand\Nas "gender violence issues,"
Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.78,0:00:18.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they've been seen as women's issues\Nthat some good men help out with,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.89,0:00:21.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I have a problem with that frame\Nand I don't accept it.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.69,0:00:24.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't see these as women's issues\Nthat some good men help out with.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:24.97,0:00:27.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In fact, I'm going to argue\Nthat these are men's issues,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.63,0:00:29.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,first and foremost.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.04,0:00:30.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now obviously --
Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.25,0:00:31.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.53,0:00:34.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Obviously, they're also women's issues,\Nso I appreciate that,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.44,0:00:39.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but calling gender violence\Na women's issue is part of the problem,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.11,0:00:40.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for a number of reasons.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.76,0:00:44.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The first is that it gives men\Nan excuse not to pay attention, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.26,0:00:46.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A lot of men hear\Nthe term "women's issues"
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.33,0:00:48.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we tend to tune it out, and we think,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.34,0:00:51.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm a guy; that's for the girls,"\Nor "that's for the women."
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.27,0:00:55.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And a lot of men literally don't get\Nbeyond the first sentence as a result.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.18,0:00:57.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's almost like a chip\Nin our brain is activated,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.56,0:01:00.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the neural pathways take\Nour attention in a different direction
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.75,0:01:02.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when we hear the term "women's issues."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.63,0:01:05.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is also true, by the way,\Nof the word "gender,"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.11,0:01:07.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because a lot of people\Nhear the word "gender"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:07.46,0:01:09.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they think it means "women."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.06,0:01:12.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So they think that gender issues\Nis synonymous with women's issues.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.26,0:01:14.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's some confusion\Nabout the term gender.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.40,0:01:16.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And let me illustrate\Nthat confusion by way of analogy.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.01,0:01:18.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So let's talk for a moment about race.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.85,0:01:20.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the US, when we hear the word "race,"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.80,0:01:23.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a lot of people think\Nthat means African-American,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.18,0:01:25.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Latino, Asian-American, Native American,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.28,0:01:28.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,South Asian, Pacific Islander, on and on.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.37,0:01:31.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A lot of people, when they hear\Nthe word "sexual orientation"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.30,0:01:33.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,think it means gay, lesbian, bisexual.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.74,0:01:36.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And a lot of people,\Nwhen they hear the word "gender,"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.31,0:01:37.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,think it means women.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.49,0:01:40.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In each case, the dominant group\Ndoesn't get paid attention to.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.49,0:01:43.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As if white people don't have\Nsome sort of racial identity
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.26,0:01:46.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or belong to some racial\Ncategory or construct,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.28,0:01:49.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as if heterosexual people\Ndon't have a sexual orientation,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.84,0:01:51.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as if men don't have a gender.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.96,0:01:55.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is one of the ways that dominant\Nsystems maintain and reproduce themselves,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.76,0:01:58.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is to say the dominant group\Nis rarely challenged
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.37,0:02:00.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to even think about its dominance,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.06,0:02:03.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because that's one of the key\Ncharacteristics of power and privilege,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.34,0:02:04.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the ability to go unexamined,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.77,0:02:09.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lacking introspection, in fact being\Nrendered invisible, in large measure,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.97,0:02:13.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the discourse about issues\Nthat are primarily about us.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.42,0:02:16.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this is amazing how this works\Nin domestic and sexual violence,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.64,0:02:20.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how men have been largely erased\Nfrom so much of the conversation
Dialogue: 0,0:02:20.23,0:02:23.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about a subject\Nthat is centrally about men.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.24,0:02:25.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'm going to illustrate\Nwhat I'm talking about
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.60,0:02:26.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by using the old tech.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.98,0:02:29.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm old school\Non some fundamental regards.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.71,0:02:32.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I make films and I work with high tech,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.47,0:02:35.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I'm still old school as an educator,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.11,0:02:37.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I want to share with you this exercise
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.72,0:02:40.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that illustrates\Non the sentence-structure level
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.48,0:02:45.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how the way that we think,\Nliterally the way that we use language,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.03,0:02:47.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,conspires to keep\Nour attention off of men.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:47.20,0:02:49.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is about domestic\Nviolence in particular,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.41,0:02:52.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but you can plug in other analogues.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.86,0:02:55.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This comes from the work\Nof the feminist linguist Julia Penelope.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.95,0:02:58.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It starts with a very basic\NEnglish sentence:
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.14,0:03:01.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"John beat Mary."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.59,0:03:03.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's a good English sentence.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.12,0:03:06.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,John is the subject, beat is the verb,\NMary is the object, good sentence.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.63,0:03:08.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now we're going to move\Nto the second sentence,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.86,0:03:11.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which says the same thing\Nin the passive voice.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:11.23,0:03:16.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Mary was beaten by John."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.56,0:03:20.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And now a whole lot\Nhas happened in one sentence.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.37,0:03:22.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We've gone from "John beat Mary"
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.50,0:03:24.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to "Mary was beaten by John."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.32,0:03:27.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We've shifted our focus\Nin one sentence from John to Mary,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.61,0:03:30.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you can see John is very close\Nto the end of the sentence,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.54,0:03:33.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,well, close to dropping\Noff the map of our psychic plain.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.53,0:03:35.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The third sentence, John is dropped,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.27,0:03:38.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we have, "Mary was beaten,"
Dialogue: 0,0:03:38.61,0:03:40.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and now it's all about Mary.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.51,0:03:43.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're not even thinking about John,\Nit's totally focused on Mary.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:43.59,0:03:44.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Over the past generation,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.83,0:03:47.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the term we've used\Nsynonymous with "beaten" is "battered,"
Dialogue: 0,0:03:47.63,0:03:50.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so we have "Mary was battered."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.32,0:03:55.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the final sentence in this sequence,\Nflowing from the others, is,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:55.14,0:03:57.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Mary is a battered woman."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:57.84,0:04:04.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So now Mary's very identity --\NMary is a battered woman --
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.67,0:04:08.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is what was done to her by John\Nin the first instance.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:08.24,0:04:11.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But we've demonstrated that John\Nhas long ago left the conversation.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.48,0:04:14.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Those of us who work\Nin the domestic and sexual violence field
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.42,0:04:16.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,know that victim-blaming\Nis pervasive in this realm,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:16.96,0:04:19.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is to say, blaming the person\Nto whom something was done
Dialogue: 0,0:04:19.93,0:04:21.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,rather than the person who did it.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.58,0:04:23.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And we say: why do they\Ngo out with these men?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:23.82,0:04:26.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why are they attracted to them?\NWhy do they keep going back?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:26.72,0:04:29.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What was she wearing at that party?\NWhat a stupid thing to do.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.70,0:04:32.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why was she drinking\Nwith those guys in that hotel room?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.41,0:04:35.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is victim blaming,\Nand there are many reasons for it,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:35.20,0:04:38.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but one is that our cognitive structure\Nis set up to blame victims.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:38.83,0:04:39.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is all unconscious.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.02,0:04:42.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Our whole cognitive structure\Nis set up to ask questions
Dialogue: 0,0:04:42.67,0:04:46.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about women and women's choices\Nand what they're doing, thinking, wearing.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:46.18,0:04:49.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'm not going to shout down\Npeople who ask questions about women.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.53,0:04:51.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a legitimate thing to ask.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.05,0:04:53.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But's let's be clear:\NAsking questions about Mary
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.38,0:04:56.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is not going to get us anywhere\Nin terms of preventing violence.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.53,0:04:58.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have to ask a different\Nset of questions.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:58.62,0:05:02.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The questions are not about Mary,\Nthey're about John.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:02.30,0:05:05.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They include things like,\Nwhy does John beat Mary?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:05.11,0:05:08.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why is domestic violence still a big\Nproblem in the US and all over the world?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:08.96,0:05:11.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What's going on?\NWhy do so many men abuse physically,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.64,0:05:13.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,emotionally, verbally, and other ways,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:13.85,0:05:17.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the women and girls, and the men and boys,\Nthat they claim to love?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:17.10,0:05:18.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What's going on with men?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:18.68,0:05:22.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why do so many adult men\Nsexually abuse little girls and boys?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:22.16,0:05:24.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why is that a common problem\Nin our society
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.34,0:05:25.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and all over the world today?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:26.22,0:05:27.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why do we hear over and over again
Dialogue: 0,0:05:27.87,0:05:31.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about new scandals erupting\Nin major institutions
Dialogue: 0,0:05:31.29,0:05:34.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like the Catholic Church\Nor the Penn State football program
Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.59,0:05:36.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or the Boy Scouts of America,\Non and on and on?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:36.82,0:05:39.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then local communities\Nall over the country
Dialogue: 0,0:05:39.05,0:05:40.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and all over the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.24,0:05:41.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We hear about it all the time.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:41.73,0:05:43.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The sexual abuse of children.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:43.25,0:05:46.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What's going on with men?\NWhy do so many men rape women
Dialogue: 0,0:05:46.66,0:05:48.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in our society and around the world?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:48.44,0:05:50.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why do so many men rape other men?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:50.19,0:05:51.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What is going on with men?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:51.76,0:05:56.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then what is the role\Nof the various institutions in our society
Dialogue: 0,0:05:56.75,0:05:59.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that are helping to produce\Nabusive men at pandemic rates?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:59.56,0:06:01.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because this isn't\Nabout individual perpetrators.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:01.89,0:06:04.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's a naive way to understanding\Nwhat is a much deeper
Dialogue: 0,0:06:04.64,0:06:06.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and more systematic social problem.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:06.35,0:06:10.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The perpetrators aren't these monsters\Nwho crawl out of the swamp
Dialogue: 0,0:06:10.04,0:06:12.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and come into town\Nand do their nasty business
Dialogue: 0,0:06:12.51,0:06:14.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then retreat into the darkness.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:14.46,0:06:16.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's a very naive notion, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:16.76,0:06:20.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Perpetrators are much more normal\Nthan that, and everyday than that.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:20.08,0:06:24.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So the question is, what are we doing here\Nin our society and in the world?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:24.48,0:06:26.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What are the roles of various institutions
Dialogue: 0,0:06:26.51,0:06:29.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in helping to produce abusive men?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:29.04,0:06:31.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What's the role of religious\Nbelief systems,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:31.15,0:06:33.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the sports culture,\Nthe pornography culture,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:33.31,0:06:36.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the family structure, economics,\Nand how that intersects,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:36.05,0:06:38.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and race and ethnicity\Nand how that intersects?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:38.31,0:06:39.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How does all this work?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:39.82,0:06:42.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then, once we start making\Nthose kinds of connections
Dialogue: 0,0:06:42.74,0:06:45.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and asking those important\Nand big questions,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:45.40,0:06:47.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then we can talk about\Nhow we can be transformative,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:47.88,0:06:50.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in other words, how can we do\Nsomething differently?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:50.36,0:06:51.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How can we change the practices?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:51.96,0:06:53.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How can we change\Nthe socialization of boys
Dialogue: 0,0:06:53.99,0:06:57.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the definitions of manhood\Nthat lead to these current outcomes?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:57.44,0:07:00.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These are the kind of questions\Nthat we need to be asking
Dialogue: 0,0:07:00.15,0:07:02.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the kind of work\Nthat we need to be doing,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:02.34,0:07:05.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but if we're endlessly focused\Non what women are doing and thinking
Dialogue: 0,0:07:05.92,0:07:07.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in relationships or elsewhere,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:07.64,0:07:10.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we're not going to get to that piece.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:10.08,0:07:11.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I understand that a lot of women
Dialogue: 0,0:07:11.77,0:07:14.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who have been trying to speak out\Nabout these issues,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:14.27,0:07:16.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,today and yesterday\Nand for years and years,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:16.36,0:07:18.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,often get shouted down for their efforts.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:18.64,0:07:23.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They get called nasty names\Nlike "male-basher" and "man-hater,"
Dialogue: 0,0:07:23.66,0:07:30.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the disgusting\Nand offensive "feminazi", right?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:30.23,0:07:31.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you know what all this is about?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:31.99,0:07:33.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's called kill the messenger.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:33.52,0:07:35.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's because the women who are standing up
Dialogue: 0,0:07:35.55,0:07:37.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and speaking out for themselves\Nand for other women
Dialogue: 0,0:07:37.100,0:07:40.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as well as for men and boys,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:40.20,0:07:42.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's a statement to them\Nto sit down and shut up,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:42.60,0:07:44.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,keep the current system in place,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:44.23,0:07:46.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because we don't like it\Nwhen people rock the boat.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:46.65,0:07:49.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We don't like it when people\Nchallenge our power.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:49.03,0:07:51.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You'd better sit\Ndown and shut up, basically.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:51.17,0:07:53.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And thank goodness\Nthat women haven't done that.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:53.45,0:07:55.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank goodness that we live in a world
Dialogue: 0,0:07:55.34,0:07:58.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where there's so much women's leadership\Nthat can counteract that.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:58.49,0:08:01.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But one of the powerful roles\Nthat men can play in this work
Dialogue: 0,0:08:01.36,0:08:04.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that we can say some things\Nthat sometimes women can't say,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:04.31,0:08:06.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or, better yet, we can be heard\Nsaying some things
Dialogue: 0,0:08:06.71,0:08:08.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that women often can't be heard saying.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:08.69,0:08:12.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, I appreciate that that's a problem,\Nit's sexism, but it's the truth.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:12.20,0:08:14.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So one of the things that I say to men,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:14.12,0:08:16.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and my colleagues and I always say this,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:16.08,0:08:18.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is we need more men\Nwho have the courage and the strength
Dialogue: 0,0:08:18.79,0:08:21.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to start standing up and saying\Nsome of this stuff,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:21.22,0:08:23.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and standing with women\Nand not against them
Dialogue: 0,0:08:23.35,0:08:26.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and pretending that somehow\Nthis is a battle between the sexes
Dialogue: 0,0:08:26.34,0:08:27.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and other kinds of nonsense.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:27.71,0:08:29.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We live in the world together.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:29.21,0:08:31.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And by the way, one of the things\Nthat really bothers me
Dialogue: 0,0:08:31.91,0:08:34.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about some of the rhetoric\Nagainst feminists and others
Dialogue: 0,0:08:34.52,0:08:38.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who have built the battered women's\Nand rape crisis movements around the world
Dialogue: 0,0:08:38.24,0:08:40.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that somehow, like I said,\Nthat they're anti-male.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:40.77,0:08:44.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What about all the boys who are profoundly\Naffected in a negative way
Dialogue: 0,0:08:44.05,0:08:47.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by what some adult man is doing against\Ntheir mother, themselves, their sisters?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:47.86,0:08:49.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What about all those boys?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:49.16,0:08:50.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What about all the young men and boys
Dialogue: 0,0:08:50.95,0:08:53.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who have been traumatized\Nby adult men's violence?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:53.34,0:08:54.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know what?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:54.55,0:08:56.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The same system that produces\Nmen who abuse women,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:56.95,0:08:58.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,produces men who abuse other men.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:58.56,0:09:02.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if we want to talk about male victims,\Nlet's talk about male victims.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:02.06,0:09:05.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Most male victims of violence\Nare the victims of other men's violence.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:05.38,0:09:08.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So that's something that both women\Nand men have in common.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:08.20,0:09:10.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We are both victims of men's violence.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:10.10,0:09:12.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So we have it in our direct self-interest,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:12.16,0:09:14.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not to mention the fact\Nthat most men that I know
Dialogue: 0,0:09:14.47,0:09:16.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have women and girls\Nthat we care deeply about,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:16.70,0:09:19.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in our families and our friendship\Ncircles and every other way.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:19.70,0:09:22.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So there's so many reasons\Nwhy we need men to speak out.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:22.38,0:09:25.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It seems obvious saying it\Nout loud, doesn't it?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:25.75,0:09:29.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, the nature of the work\Nthat I do and my colleagues do
Dialogue: 0,0:09:29.35,0:09:33.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the sports culture\Nand the US military, in schools,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:33.03,0:09:35.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we pioneered this approach\Ncalled the bystander approach
Dialogue: 0,0:09:35.90,0:09:37.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to gender-violence prevention.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:37.91,0:09:41.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I just want to give you\Nthe highlights of the bystander approach,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:41.26,0:09:43.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because it's a big thematic shift,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:43.72,0:09:45.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,although there's lots of particulars,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:45.56,0:09:48.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but the heart of it is,\Ninstead of seeing men as perpetrators
Dialogue: 0,0:09:48.88,0:09:50.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and women as victims,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:50.14,0:09:53.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or women as perpetrators, men as victims,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:53.62,0:09:55.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or any combination in there.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:55.21,0:09:56.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm using the gender binary.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:56.63,0:10:00.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know there's more than men and women,\Nthere's more than male and female.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:00.15,0:10:02.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And there are women who are perpetrators,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:02.13,0:10:04.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and of course there are\Nmen who are victims.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:04.30,0:10:05.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a whole spectrum.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:05.54,0:10:07.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But instead of seeing it\Nin the binary fashion,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:07.77,0:10:10.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we focus on all of us\Nas what we call bystanders,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:10.15,0:10:14.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and a bystander is defined as anybody\Nwho is not a perpetrator or a victim
Dialogue: 0,0:10:14.34,0:10:15.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in a given situation,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:15.98,0:10:20.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so in other words friends, teammates,\Ncolleagues, coworkers, family members,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:20.04,0:10:23.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,those of us who are not directly\Ninvolved in a dyad of abuse,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:23.98,0:10:27.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but we are embedded in social,\Nfamily, work, school,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:27.32,0:10:29.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and other peer culture relationships
Dialogue: 0,0:10:29.11,0:10:31.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with people who might be\Nin that situation.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:31.16,0:10:34.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What do we do? How do we speak up?\NHow do we challenge our friends?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:34.38,0:10:35.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How do we support our friends?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:35.90,0:10:38.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But how do we not remain silent\Nin the face of abuse?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:38.44,0:10:41.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, when it comes\Nto men and male culture,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:41.14,0:10:44.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the goal is to get men who are not abusive\Nto challenge men who are.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:44.56,0:10:47.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when I say abusive, I don't mean just\Nmen who are beating women.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:47.84,0:10:52.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're not just saying a man whose friend\Nis abusing his girlfriend
Dialogue: 0,0:10:52.66,0:10:55.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,needs to stop the guy\Nat the moment of attack.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:55.50,0:10:59.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's a naive way\Nof creating a social change.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:59.98,0:11:03.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's along a continuum, we're trying\Nto get men to interrupt each other.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:03.90,0:11:06.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, for example, if you're a guy\Nand you're in a group of guys
Dialogue: 0,0:11:06.85,0:11:09.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,playing poker, talking, hanging out,\Nno women present,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:09.74,0:11:16.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and another guy says something sexist\Nor degrading or harassing about women,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:16.11,0:11:18.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,instead of laughing along\Nor pretending you didn't hear it,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:18.99,0:11:21.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we need men to say,\N"Hey, that's not funny.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:21.03,0:11:23.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that could be my sister\Nyou're talking about,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:23.30,0:11:25.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and could you joke about something else?
Dialogue: 0,0:11:25.29,0:11:27.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or could you talk about something else?
Dialogue: 0,0:11:27.19,0:11:29.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't appreciate that kind of talk."
Dialogue: 0,0:11:29.05,0:11:30.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just like if you're a white person
Dialogue: 0,0:11:30.72,0:11:33.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and another white person makes\Na racist comment, you'd hope, I hope,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:33.98,0:11:36.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that white people would interrupt\Nthat racist enactment
Dialogue: 0,0:11:36.63,0:11:37.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by a fellow white person.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:37.89,0:11:40.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just like with heterosexism,\Nif you're a heterosexual person
Dialogue: 0,0:11:40.78,0:11:43.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you yourself don't enact\Nharassing or abusive behaviors
Dialogue: 0,0:11:43.61,0:11:45.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,towards people of varying\Nsexual orientations,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:45.85,0:11:49.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you don't say something in the face\Nof other heterosexual people doing that,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:49.59,0:11:52.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then, in a sense, isn't your silence\Na form of consent and complicity?
Dialogue: 0,0:11:52.92,0:11:55.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, the bystander approach\Nis trying to give people tools
Dialogue: 0,0:11:55.78,0:11:59.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to interrupt that process and to speak up\Nand to create a peer culture climate
Dialogue: 0,0:11:59.63,0:12:02.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where the abusive behavior\Nwill be seen as unacceptable,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:02.32,0:12:05.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not just because it's illegal,\Nbut because it's wrong
Dialogue: 0,0:12:05.11,0:12:07.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and unacceptable in the peer culture.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:07.18,0:12:09.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if we can get to the place where men
Dialogue: 0,0:12:09.60,0:12:11.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who act out in sexist ways\Nwill lose status,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:11.92,0:12:13.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,young men and boys who act out in sexist
Dialogue: 0,0:12:13.85,0:12:15.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and harassing ways\Ntowards girls and women,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:15.89,0:12:17.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as well as towards other boys and men,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:17.85,0:12:20.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,will lose status\Nas a result of it, guess what?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:20.39,0:12:23.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We'll see a radical\Ndiminution of the abuse.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:23.40,0:12:26.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because the typical perpetrator\Nis not sick and twisted.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:26.07,0:12:28.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's a normal guy\Nin every other way, isn't he?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:28.78,0:12:32.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, among the many great\Nthings that Martin Luther King
Dialogue: 0,0:12:32.18,0:12:33.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,said in his short life was,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:33.72,0:12:37.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"In the end, what will hurt the most\Nis not the words of our enemies
Dialogue: 0,0:12:37.15,0:12:39.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but the silence of our friends."
Dialogue: 0,0:12:39.22,0:12:42.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the end, what will hurt the most\Nis not the words of our enemies
Dialogue: 0,0:12:42.42,0:12:43.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but the silence of our friends.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:43.96,0:12:46.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's been an awful lot\Nof silence in male culture
Dialogue: 0,0:12:46.44,0:12:48.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about this ongoing tragedy\Nof men's violence
Dialogue: 0,0:12:48.54,0:12:50.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,against women and children, hasn't there?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:50.53,0:12:52.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's been an awful lot of silence.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:52.34,0:12:55.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And all I'm saying is that we need\Nto break that silence,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:55.22,0:12:57.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we need more men to do that.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:57.48,0:13:00.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, it's easier said than done,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:00.80,0:13:02.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I'm saying it now,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:02.21,0:13:04.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I'm telling you\Nit's not easy in male culture
Dialogue: 0,0:13:04.71,0:13:06.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for guys to challenge each other,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:06.64,0:13:09.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is one of the reasons
Dialogue: 0,0:13:09.04,0:13:11.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,why part of the paradigm shift\Nthat has to happen
Dialogue: 0,0:13:11.37,0:13:14.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is not just understanding\Nthese issues as men's issues,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:14.13,0:13:16.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but they're also\Nleadership issues for men.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:16.20,0:13:19.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because ultimately, the responsibility\Nfor taking a stand on these issues
Dialogue: 0,0:13:19.67,0:13:21.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,should not fall\Non the shoulders of little boys
Dialogue: 0,0:13:21.97,0:13:24.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or teenage boys in high school\Nor college men.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:24.81,0:13:26.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It should be on adult men with power.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:26.78,0:13:29.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Adult men with power are the ones\Nwe need to be holding accountable
Dialogue: 0,0:13:29.96,0:13:31.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for being leaders on these issues,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:31.65,0:13:33.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because when somebody\Nspeaks up in a peer culture
Dialogue: 0,0:13:33.100,0:13:35.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and challenges and interrupts,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:35.96,0:13:38.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he or she is being a leader, really.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:38.55,0:13:41.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But on a big scale,\Nwe need more adult men with power
Dialogue: 0,0:13:41.83,0:13:43.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to start prioritizing these issues,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:43.100,0:13:46.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we haven't seen that yet, have we?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:46.45,0:13:49.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, I was at a dinner\Na number of years ago,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:49.88,0:13:53.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I work extensively\Nwith the US military, all the services.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:53.10,0:13:55.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I was at this dinner\Nand this woman said to me --
Dialogue: 0,0:13:56.64,0:13:58.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think she thought\Nshe was a little clever --
Dialogue: 0,0:13:58.82,0:14:03.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she said, "So how long have you been doing\Nsensitivity training with the Marines?"
Dialogue: 0,0:14:03.39,0:14:06.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I said, "With all due respect,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:06.66,0:14:09.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't do sensitivity training\Nwith the Marines.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:09.21,0:14:11.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I run a leadership program\Nin the Marine Corps."
Dialogue: 0,0:14:11.51,0:14:13.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, I know it's a bit\Npompous, my response,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:13.61,0:14:15.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it's an important distinction,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:15.40,0:14:18.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I don't believe\Nthat what we need is sensitivity training.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:18.57,0:14:21.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We need leadership training,\Nbecause, for example,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:21.03,0:14:24.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when a professional coach or a manager\Nof a baseball team or a football team --
Dialogue: 0,0:14:24.82,0:14:27.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I work extensively\Nin that realm as well --
Dialogue: 0,0:14:27.15,0:14:30.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,makes a sexist comment,\Nmakes a homophobic statement,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:30.38,0:14:31.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,makes a racist comment,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:31.94,0:14:35.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there will be discussions on the sports\Nblogs and in sports talk radio.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:35.34,0:14:38.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And some people will say,\N"He needs sensitivity training."
Dialogue: 0,0:14:38.15,0:14:40.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Other people will say, "Well, get off it.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:40.18,0:14:42.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's political correctness run amok,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:42.37,0:14:44.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he made a stupid statement, move on."
Dialogue: 0,0:14:44.20,0:14:46.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My argument is, he doesn't need\Nsensitivity training.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:46.86,0:14:48.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He needs leadership training,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:48.29,0:14:49.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because he's being a bad leader,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:49.85,0:14:52.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because in a society with gender diversity\Nand sexual diversity --
Dialogue: 0,0:14:52.100,0:14:54.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:14:54.09,0:14:55.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and racial and ethnic diversity,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:55.65,0:14:58.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you make those kind of comments,\Nyou're failing at your leadership.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:58.88,0:15:01.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If we can make this point that I'm making
Dialogue: 0,0:15:01.09,0:15:03.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to powerful men and women in our society
Dialogue: 0,0:15:03.76,0:15:06.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at all levels of institutional\Nauthority and power,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:06.85,0:15:10.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's going to change\Nthe paradigm of people's thinking.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:10.66,0:15:12.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, for example,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:12.18,0:15:14.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I work a lot in college\Nand university athletics
Dialogue: 0,0:15:14.48,0:15:16.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,throughout North America.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:17.09,0:15:20.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We know so much about how to prevent\Ndomestic and sexual violence, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:15:21.61,0:15:23.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's no excuse\Nfor a college or university
Dialogue: 0,0:15:24.01,0:15:26.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to not have domestic and sexual\Nviolence prevention training
Dialogue: 0,0:15:26.89,0:15:29.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mandated for all student athletes,\Ncoaches, administrators,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:29.72,0:15:32.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as part of their educational process.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:32.10,0:15:34.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We know enough to know\Nthat we can easily do that.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:34.67,0:15:36.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But you know what's missing?\NThe leadership.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:36.78,0:15:39.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it's not the leadership\Nof student athletes.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:39.04,0:15:41.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's the leadership\Nof the athletic director,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:41.20,0:15:43.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the president of the university,\Nthe people in charge
Dialogue: 0,0:15:43.73,0:15:45.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who make decisions about resources
Dialogue: 0,0:15:45.43,0:15:48.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and who make decisions about priorities\Nin the institutional settings.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:48.75,0:15:51.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's a failure, in most cases,\Nof men's leadership.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:51.31,0:15:52.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Look at Penn State.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:52.53,0:15:56.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Penn State is the mother of all teachable\Nmoments for the bystander approach.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:56.66,0:15:59.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You had so many situations in that realm
Dialogue: 0,0:15:59.15,0:16:02.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where men in powerful\Npositions failed to act
Dialogue: 0,0:16:02.82,0:16:05.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to protect children, in this case, boys.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:05.25,0:16:06.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's unbelievable, really.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:06.53,0:16:09.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But when you get into it,\Nyou realize there are pressures on men.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:09.64,0:16:12.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There are constraints\Nwithin peer cultures on men,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:12.46,0:16:16.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is why we need to encourage men\Nto break through those pressures.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:16.67,0:16:18.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And one of the ways to do that is to say
Dialogue: 0,0:16:18.62,0:16:21.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there's an awful lot of men\Nwho care deeply about these issues.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:21.62,0:16:23.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know this, I work with men,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:23.13,0:16:25.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I've been working\Nwith tens of thousands,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:25.33,0:16:27.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hundreds of thousands of men\Nfor many decades now.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:27.72,0:16:30.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's scary, when you think\Nabout it, how many years.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:30.22,0:16:33.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But there's so many men\Nwho care deeply about these issues,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:33.70,0:16:35.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but caring deeply is not enough.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:35.86,0:16:38.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We need more men with the guts,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:38.38,0:16:41.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with the courage, with the strength,\Nwith the moral integrity
Dialogue: 0,0:16:41.84,0:16:45.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to break our complicit silence\Nand challenge each other
Dialogue: 0,0:16:45.85,0:16:47.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and stand with women and not against them.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:48.19,0:16:49.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,By the way, we owe it to women.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:49.91,0:16:51.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's no question about it.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:51.37,0:16:52.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But we also owe it to our sons.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:53.02,0:16:56.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We also owe it to young men\Nwho are growing up all over the world
Dialogue: 0,0:16:56.26,0:16:58.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in situations where they didn't\Nmake the choice
Dialogue: 0,0:16:58.55,0:17:01.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to be a man in a culture that tells them\Nthat manhood is a certain way.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:01.95,0:17:03.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They didn't make the choice.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:03.64,0:17:08.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We that have a choice, have an opportunity\Nand a responsibility to them as well.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:08.66,0:17:11.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I hope that, going forward, men and women,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:11.62,0:17:13.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,working together, can begin the change
Dialogue: 0,0:17:13.93,0:17:15.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the transformation that will happen
Dialogue: 0,0:17:15.93,0:17:18.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so that future generations\Nwon't have the level of tragedy
Dialogue: 0,0:17:18.73,0:17:20.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that we deal with on a daily basis.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:20.53,0:17:22.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know we can do it, we can do better.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:22.36,0:17:23.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you very much.