[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.01,0:01:10.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Music)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.90,0:01:14.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Everett L Shostrom)Psychotherapy is such\Na personal and private process
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.17,0:01:18.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that it is a mystery to most people\Nwho have never gone through it
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.59,0:01:24.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The following series is a unique effort\Nthat allows us to sit in
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.01,0:01:28.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on what is ordinarily\Na very private therapeutic experience.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.66,0:01:34.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,An actual patient was courageous enough\Nand considerate enough
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.22,0:01:37.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to allow herself to be photographed
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.31,0:01:42.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,while actually engaged in therapy with\Nthree different therapists.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.34,0:01:46.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thus we're allowed the privilege\Nof seeing and feeling
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.34,0:01:49.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feeling what really transpires.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.10,0:01:52.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A film series like this,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.82,0:01:57.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in which three therapists distinguished\Nby their different orientations
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.30,0:02:02.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,share their therapeutic endeavors\Nhas never been made before.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.55,0:02:07.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We therefore wish to express our gratitude\Nto Gloria, the patient,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.49,0:02:14.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and to her therapists for allowing us\Nto share in their therapeutic adventure
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.34,0:02:19.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This series will be divided into\Nthree separate films.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:20.36,0:02:26.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the first film we see doctor Carl Rogers\Nfounder of client-centered therapy
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.26,0:02:28.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,interviewing Gloria.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.67,0:02:35.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In film number two, Dr. Frederick Perls,\Nfounder of Gestalt therapy
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.71,0:02:37.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is working with her
Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.02,0:02:41.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and in film number three\NDr. Albert Ellis,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.34,0:02:46.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,founder of rational-emotive therapy\Nis our therapist
Dialogue: 0,0:02:47.85,0:02:51.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,each therapist will first describe\Nhis system of therapy briefly.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.05,0:02:55.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He will then demonstrate\Nhis work with Gloria
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.34,0:02:59.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then he will comment briefly\Non his work
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.53,0:03:03.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now here is Dr. Carl Rogers.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.10,0:03:09.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Carl Rogers) From my own years\Nof therapeutic experience,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.30,0:03:14.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have come to feel that\Nif I can create the proper climate,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.82,0:03:17.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the proper relationship,\Nthe proper conditions,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.52,0:03:23.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a process of therapeutic movement will\Nalmost inevitably occur in my client.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.61,0:03:28.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You may ask: 'What is this climate?\NWhat are these conditions?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.34,0:03:35.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Will they exist in the interview\Nwith the woman I am about to talk with,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.26,0:03:37.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'and whom I have never seen before?'
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.51,0:03:41.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let me try to describe very briefly\Nwhat these conditions are as I see them.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.48,0:03:47.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,First of all, one question is,\Ncan I be real in the relationship?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:47.42,0:03:53.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This has come to have an increasing amount\Nof importance to me over the years.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:53.87,0:03:58.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I feel that genuineness\Nis another way of describing
Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.02,0:03:59.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the quality I would like to have.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.26,0:04:06.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I like the term 'congruent', by which.\NI mean that what I am experiencing inside
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.23,0:04:10.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is present in my awareness and comes out\Nthrough my communication.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.33,0:04:17.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In a sense, when I have this quality, \NI am all in one piece in the relationship.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:18.41,0:04:21.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There is another word\Nthat describes it for me.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.42,0:04:26.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I feel that in the relationship,\NI would like to have a 'transparency.'
Dialogue: 0,0:04:26.67,0:04:29.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would be quite willing for my client\Nto see all the way through me,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.92,0:04:32.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that there would be nothing,\Nnothing hidden.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:34.38,0:04:37.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when lam real in this fashion\Nthat I'm trying to describe,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:37.44,0:04:43.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then I know that my own feelings will often\Nbubble up into awareness
Dialogue: 0,0:04:43.73,0:04:45.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and be expressed,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:45.33,0:04:50.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but be expressed in ways that won't\Nimpose themselves on my client.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.87,0:04:58.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then the second question I would have is,\Nwill I find myself prizing this person,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:59.47,0:05:01.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,caring for this person?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:01.20,0:05:04.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I certainly don't want to pretend\Na caring that I don't feel.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:04.65,0:05:07.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In fact, if I dislike my client\Npersistently,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:07.17,0:05:09.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I feel it is better, that I should express it.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:10.62,0:05:15.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I know that the process of therapy\Nis much more likely to occur
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.19,0:05:18.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and constructive change\Nis much more likely
Dialogue: 0,0:05:18.96,0:05:24.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if I feel a real spontaneous prizing of\Nthis individual with whom I'm working,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:25.30,0:05:28.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a prizing of this person\Nas a separate individual.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:30.17,0:05:34.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can call that quality acceptance,\Nyou can call it caring,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:35.73,0:05:38.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can call it a non-possessive love\Nif you wish.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:38.60,0:05:41.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think any of those terms\Ntend to describe it.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:41.65,0:05:45.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know that the relationship will prove\Nmore constructive if it's present.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:46.21,0:05:48.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then the third quality:
Dialogue: 0,0:05:48.11,0:05:51.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,will I be able to understand\Nthe inner world of this individual
Dialogue: 0,0:05:51.95,0:05:53.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from the inside?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:54.52,0:05:57.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then will I be able to see it\Nthrough her eyes?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:57.06,0:06:01.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Will I be able to be sufficiently sensitive
Dialogue: 0,0:06:02.16,0:06:05.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to move around\Ninside the world of her feelings
Dialogue: 0,0:06:07.08,0:06:09.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so that I know what it feels like to be her,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:10.36,0:06:13.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so that I can sense not only\Nthe surface meanings,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:13.72,0:06:17.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but some of the meanings that lie\Nsomewhat underneath the surface.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:18.74,0:06:23.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know that if I can let myself\Nsensitively and accurately
Dialogue: 0,0:06:23.91,0:06:26.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,enter into her world of experience,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:26.86,0:06:30.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then change and therapeutic movement\Nare much more likely.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:32.77,0:06:34.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, suppose I am fortunate
Dialogue: 0,0:06:34.76,0:06:38.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that I do experience\Nsome of these attitudes
Dialogue: 0,0:06:38.72,0:06:40.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the relationship, what then?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:42.17,0:06:45.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, then a variety of things\Nare likely to happen.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:46.65,0:06:51.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Both from my clinical experience\Nand from our research investigations
Dialogue: 0,0:06:51.22,0:06:56.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we find that if attitudes of the sorts\Nthat I have described are present,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:56.77,0:06:58.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then quite a number of things will happen.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:00.07,0:07:03.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She'll explore some of her feelings\Nand attitudes more deeply.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:04.66,0:07:07.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She is likely to discover\Nsome hidden aspects of herself
Dialogue: 0,0:07:07.82,0:07:09.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that she wasn't aware of previously.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:11.68,0:07:14.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Feeling herself prized by me,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:15.00,0:07:18.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it is quite possible she'll come\Nto prize herself more.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:19.54,0:07:23.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Feeling that some of her meanings\Nare understood by me,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:23.65,0:07:26.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then she can more readily perhaps\Nlisten to herself,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:26.88,0:07:30.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,listen to what is going on\Nwithin her own experience,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:30.01,0:07:33.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,listen to some of the meanings\Nshe hasn't been able to catch before.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:34.03,0:07:38.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And perhaps if she senses realness in me,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:39.83,0:07:44.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she'll be able to be a little more real\Nwithin herself.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:45.92,0:07:50.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I suspect there will be a change\Nin the manner of her expression,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:50.48,0:07:53.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at least this has been my experience\Nin other instances.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:54.09,0:07:58.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,From being rather remote\Nfrom her experiencing,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:58.51,0:08:00.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,remote from what is going on within her,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:01.18,0:08:05.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's possible that she'll move toward\Nmore immediacy of experiencing,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:06.48,0:08:11.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that she will be able to sense and express\Nwhat's going on in her
Dialogue: 0,0:08:11.85,0:08:13.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the immediate moment
Dialogue: 0,0:08:15.13,0:08:18.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,From being disapproving of herself,\Nit is quite possible
Dialogue: 0,0:08:18.46,0:08:22.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she will move toward a greater degree\Nof acceptance of herself.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:23.90,0:08:26.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,From somewhat of a fear of relating,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:26.53,0:08:29.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she may move toward being able\Nto relate more directly
Dialogue: 0,0:08:29.98,0:08:32.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and to encounter me more directly.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:33.30,0:08:39.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,From construing life in somewhat rigid\Nblack and white patterns,'
Dialogue: 0,0:08:40.99,0:08:45.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she may move toward more tentative ways\Nof construing her experience
Dialogue: 0,0:08:45.86,0:08:48.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and of seeing the meanings in it.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:49.44,0:08:54.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,From a locus of evaluation\Nwhich is outside of herself,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:54.94,0:08:58.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it is quite possible she will move\Ntoward recognizing
Dialogue: 0,0:08:58.06,0:09:03.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a greater capacity within herself for\Nmaking judgments and drawing conclusions.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:03.58,0:09:07.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So those are the some of -- those are some\Nof the changes that we have.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:07.39,0:09:10.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If I have any success in creating
Dialogue: 0,0:09:10.54,0:09:14.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the kind of conditions that I described\Ninitially,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:14.22,0:09:19.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then we may be able to see\Nsome of these changes in this client
Dialogue: 0,0:09:19.64,0:09:24.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even though I know in advance that our\Ncontact is going to be very brief. /////
Dialogue: 0,0:09:29.94,0:09:32.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,good morning I'm curious you must be
Dialogue: 0,0:09:32.91,0:09:39.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Barry yes I am I'm service chair no we
Dialogue: 0,0:09:39.75,0:09:43.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have half an hour together and I really
Dialogue: 0,0:09:43.02,0:09:45.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't know what we'll be able to make of
Dialogue: 0,0:09:45.75,0:09:48.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it but I hope we can make something else
Dialogue: 0,0:09:48.26,0:09:53.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be glad to know whatever concerns you
Dialogue: 0,0:09:53.42,0:09:57.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,well I'm right now I'm nervous but I
Dialogue: 0,0:09:57.00,0:09:58.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feel more comfortable the way you're
Dialogue: 0,0:09:58.20,0:09:59.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,talking in a low voice oh I don't feel
Dialogue: 0,0:09:59.76,0:10:03.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like you'll be so harsh on me but um I
Dialogue: 0,0:10:03.48,0:10:08.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hear the tremor in your voice ooh a the
Dialogue: 0,0:10:08.37,0:10:11.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,main thing I want to talk to you about
Dialogue: 0,0:10:11.01,0:10:16.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is stuff I'm just newly divorced and I
Dialogue: 0,0:10:16.53,0:10:19.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,had gone in therapy before and I felt
Dialogue: 0,0:10:19.47,0:10:20.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,comfortable when I left and all of a
Dialogue: 0,0:10:20.82,0:10:22.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sudden now the biggest change is
Dialogue: 0,0:10:22.65,0:10:26.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,adjusting to my single life and one of
Dialogue: 0,0:10:26.85,0:10:28.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the things that bother me the most is
Dialogue: 0,0:10:28.38,0:10:30.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,especially manhe's and having men to the
Dialogue: 0,0:10:30.09,0:10:31.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,house and how it affects the children
Dialogue: 0,0:10:31.68,0:10:36.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the biggest thing I want the same
Dialogue: 0,0:10:36.87,0:10:38.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,keeps coming to my mind I want to tell
Dialogue: 0,0:10:38.04,0:10:40.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you about yes I have a daughter 9 who at
Dialogue: 0,0:10:40.89,0:10:42.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one time I felt I had a lot of emotional
Dialogue: 0,0:10:42.84,0:10:47.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,problems I wish I could stop shaking and
Dialogue: 0,0:10:47.96,0:10:50.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I real conscious of things affecting her
Dialogue: 0,0:10:50.49,0:10:52.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't want her to get upset I don't
Dialogue: 0,0:10:52.08,0:10:54.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,want to shock her I want so bad for her
Dialogue: 0,0:10:54.57,0:10:57.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to accept me and will really open with
Dialogue: 0,0:10:57.00,0:10:59.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,each other especially about sex and the
Dialogue: 0,0:10:59.40,0:11:01.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,other day she saw a girl that was saving
Dialogue: 0,0:11:01.80,0:11:03.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the pregnant and she asked me all about
Dialogue: 0,0:11:03.39,0:11:04.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,teen girls get pregnant if they're
Dialogue: 0,0:11:04.59,0:11:07.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,single and the conversation was fine and
Dialogue: 0,0:11:07.23,0:11:09.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wasn't underneath at all with her
Dialogue: 0,0:11:09.24,0:11:11.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,until she asked me if I'd ever made love
Dialogue: 0,0:11:11.01,0:11:13.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to a man since I've left her daddy and I
Dialogue: 0,0:11:13.62,0:11:16.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lied to her and ever since that it keeps
Dialogue: 0,0:11:16.17,0:11:17.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,coming up to my mind cuz I feel so
Dialogue: 0,0:11:17.49,0:11:18.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,guilty lying there there cuz I never
Dialogue: 0,0:11:18.69,0:11:19.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mind
Dialogue: 0,0:11:19.35,0:11:21.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wanted to trust me and I want I almost
Dialogue: 0,0:11:21.81,0:11:23.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,want an answer from you I want you to
Dialogue: 0,0:11:23.28,0:11:25.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tell me if it will affect Iran if I told
Dialogue: 0,0:11:25.02,0:11:28.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,her the truth or would and it is
Dialogue: 0,0:11:28.32,0:11:30.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,concerned about her and the fact that
Dialogue: 0,0:11:30.42,0:11:32.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you really aren't that this open
Dialogue: 0,0:11:32.25,0:11:33.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,relationship that has existed between
Dialogue: 0,0:11:33.72,0:11:35.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you and I you feel it kind of yes I feel
Dialogue: 0,0:11:35.97,0:11:37.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like I have to be on guard about that
Dialogue: 0,0:11:37.53,0:11:39.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I didn't when I was a little
Dialogue: 0,0:11:39.78,0:11:41.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,girl when I first found out my mother
Dialogue: 0,0:11:41.16,0:11:42.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,father made love it was dirty and
Dialogue: 0,0:11:42.66,0:11:44.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,terrible and I didn't I didn't like her
Dialogue: 0,0:11:44.34,0:11:44.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,anymore
Dialogue: 0,0:11:44.73,0:11:47.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for a while and I don't want to lie to
Dialogue: 0,0:11:47.46,0:11:49.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pan me either and I don't know
Dialogue: 0,0:11:49.52,0:11:51.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sure wish I could give you the answer as
Dialogue: 0,0:11:51.84,0:11:54.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to what you should tell her all the
Dialogue: 0,0:11:54.75,0:11:56.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,things you're going to say that because
Dialogue: 0,0:11:56.82,0:11:59.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what you really want is an answer I want
Dialogue: 0,0:11:59.19,0:12:00.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to especially know if it would affect
Dialogue: 0,0:12:00.84,0:12:03.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,her if I was completely honest and open
Dialogue: 0,0:12:03.21,0:12:04.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with her or if it would affect her
Dialogue: 0,0:12:04.83,0:12:06.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I lied I feel like it's bound to
Dialogue: 0,0:12:06.57,0:12:08.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,make a strain because I lied to her
Dialogue: 0,0:12:08.75,0:12:11.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because she'll suspect that or she will
Dialogue: 0,0:12:11.73,0:12:13.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,know something's not quite right fine
Dialogue: 0,0:12:13.86,0:12:16.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she'll distrust me yes and also I
Dialogue: 0,0:12:16.23,0:12:17.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,thought would she what about when she
Dialogue: 0,0:12:17.37,0:12:19.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,gets a little older and she finds
Dialogue: 0,0:12:19.23,0:12:20.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,herself in touchy situation she probably
Dialogue: 0,0:12:20.76,0:12:21.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wouldn't want to get it to me because
Dialogue: 0,0:12:21.90,0:12:23.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she thinks I'm so good and so sweet and
Dialogue: 0,0:12:23.43,0:12:25.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yet I'm afraid she could think I'm
Dialogue: 0,0:12:25.38,0:12:28.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,really a a devil and I want so bad for
Dialogue: 0,0:12:28.29,0:12:30.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it except me I don't know how much a
Dialogue: 0,0:12:30.39,0:12:33.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,learner can take and we would both
Dialogue: 0,0:12:33.18,0:12:34.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,alternatives concern you but you might
Dialogue: 0,0:12:34.86,0:12:37.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,think you're too good or better than you
Dialogue: 0,0:12:37.80,0:12:38.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,really are
Dialogue: 0,0:12:38.19,0:12:40.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yes she might think that you're worse
Dialogue: 0,0:12:40.38,0:12:42.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than you are not worse than I am
Dialogue: 0,0:12:42.72,0:12:44.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know she can accept me the way I
Dialogue: 0,0:12:44.49,0:12:47.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think I paint a picture that I'm all
Dialogue: 0,0:12:47.01,0:12:49.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sweet and motherly and I'm not ashamed
Dialogue: 0,0:12:49.23,0:12:54.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of my shady side too
Dialogue: 0,0:12:54.79,0:12:58.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it really cuts a little deeper if she
Dialogue: 0,0:12:58.100,0:13:01.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,really knew you would she could she
Dialogue: 0,0:13:01.34,0:13:03.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,accept you this is what I don't know yes
Dialogue: 0,0:13:03.98,0:13:08.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't want to turn away from me I
Dialogue: 0,0:13:08.77,0:13:11.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't even know how I feel about it
Dialogue: 0,0:13:11.12,0:13:12.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because there are times when I feel so
Dialogue: 0,0:13:12.68,0:13:14.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,guilty like when I have the wheel over I
Dialogue: 0,0:13:14.48,0:13:17.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even try to make a special setup so that
Dialogue: 0,0:13:17.06,0:13:18.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if I were ever along with them the
Dialogue: 0,0:13:18.41,0:13:19.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,children would never catch me and that
Dialogue: 0,0:13:19.70,0:13:21.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sort of thing because I'm worried about
Dialogue: 0,0:13:21.80,0:13:23.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it and yet I also know I have these
Dialogue: 0,0:13:23.87,0:13:27.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,desires let's click here it isn't only
Dialogue: 0,0:13:27.67,0:13:30.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,her problem or the relationship with her
Dialogue: 0,0:13:30.41,0:13:33.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's in you as well my guilt oh yeah I
Dialogue: 0,0:13:33.86,0:13:36.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,forgive um so what can I accept myself
Dialogue: 0,0:13:36.26,0:13:40.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as doing yes and you realize that you
Dialogue: 0,0:13:40.39,0:13:43.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,said observed subterfuges so as to make
Dialogue: 0,0:13:43.55,0:13:46.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sure that that you're not caught or
Dialogue: 0,0:13:46.49,0:13:48.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,something you realize that you are
Dialogue: 0,0:13:48.23,0:13:52.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,acting from guilt is it yes I don't like
Dialogue: 0,0:13:52.91,0:13:54.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the way I would like to feel comfortable
Dialogue: 0,0:13:54.74,0:13:56.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with whatever I do if I choose not to
Dialogue: 0,0:13:56.66,0:13:57.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tell family the truth to feel
Dialogue: 0,0:13:57.77,0:13:59.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,comfortable that she can't handle it and
Dialogue: 0,0:13:59.24,0:14:01.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they don't I want to be honest and yet I
Dialogue: 0,0:14:01.64,0:14:03.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feel there are some areas but I don't
Dialogue: 0,0:14:03.26,0:14:06.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even accept if you can't accept them in
Dialogue: 0,0:14:06.80,0:14:08.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yourself how could you possibly be
Dialogue: 0,0:14:08.15,0:14:09.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,comfortable and telling them to her
Dialogue: 0,0:14:09.62,0:14:14.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,right and yet did you say you do have
Dialogue: 0,0:14:14.39,0:14:15.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,these desires and you do have your
Dialogue: 0,0:14:15.92,0:14:18.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feelings but but you don't feel good
Dialogue: 0,0:14:18.47,0:14:23.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about
Dialogue: 0,0:14:23.08,0:14:25.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I thought you're just gonna sit
Dialogue: 0,0:14:25.85,0:14:27.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there and let me experiment laughs I
Dialogue: 0,0:14:27.29,0:14:33.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,want more I want you to help me get rid
Dialogue: 0,0:14:33.05,0:14:34.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of my guilt feeling if I can get rid of
Dialogue: 0,0:14:34.82,0:14:36.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my guilt feeling about lying or going to
Dialogue: 0,0:14:36.65,0:14:38.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,bed with a single man any of that just
Dialogue: 0,0:14:38.18,0:14:41.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I can feel more comfortable and I
Dialogue: 0,0:14:41.24,0:14:43.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,guess I'd like to say no I don't want to
Dialogue: 0,0:14:43.25,0:14:45.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,let's just steal in your feelings but on
Dialogue: 0,0:14:45.32,0:14:48.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the other hand I also feel that this is
Dialogue: 0,0:14:48.38,0:14:50.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the kind of very private thing that I
Dialogue: 0,0:14:50.30,0:14:53.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,couldn't possibly answer for you that I
Dialogue: 0,0:14:53.30,0:14:54.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,assure is anything we'll try to help you
Dialogue: 0,0:14:54.83,0:14:59.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,work toward your own answer I don't know
Dialogue: 0,0:14:59.18,0:15:00.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whether that makes any sense to you but
Dialogue: 0,0:15:00.98,0:15:03.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean it well I appreciate you saying
Dialogue: 0,0:15:03.92,0:15:07.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you sound like you mean it but I
Dialogue: 0,0:15:07.70,0:15:08.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't know where to go
Dialogue: 0,0:15:08.48,0:15:10.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't begin to know where to go I
Dialogue: 0,0:15:10.28,0:15:11.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,thought that I'd pretty well worked over
Dialogue: 0,0:15:11.99,0:15:13.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,most of my guilt and now that this is
Dialogue: 0,0:15:13.61,0:15:15.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,coming up I'm disappointed in myself
Dialogue: 0,0:15:15.83,0:15:19.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I really am I want I like it when I feel
Dialogue: 0,0:15:19.07,0:15:20.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that no matter what I do even if it's
Dialogue: 0,0:15:20.57,0:15:23.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,against my own morals or my upbringing
Dialogue: 0,0:15:23.12,0:15:25.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I can still feel good about me
Dialogue: 0,0:15:25.49,0:15:28.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and now I don't like there's a girl at
Dialogue: 0,0:15:28.25,0:15:31.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,work who sort of mothers me and she just
Dialogue: 0,0:15:31.07,0:15:33.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she I think she thinks I'm all sweet and
Dialogue: 0,0:15:33.23,0:15:35.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I sure don't want to show my more ornery
Dialogue: 0,0:15:35.33,0:15:36.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,devilish side with her I want to be
Dialogue: 0,0:15:36.92,0:15:38.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sweet and it's so hard for me to to
Dialogue: 0,0:15:38.72,0:15:40.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,selfie so nil again it's so
Dialogue: 0,0:15:40.52,0:15:42.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,disappointing yeah I get the
Dialogue: 0,0:15:42.44,0:15:43.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,disappointment that here a lot of these
Dialogue: 0,0:15:43.97,0:15:45.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,things you thought you'd work through
Dialogue: 0,0:15:45.67,0:15:48.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and now the guilts and a feeling that
Dialogue: 0,0:15:48.26,0:15:50.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,only a part of you is acceptable to
Dialogue: 0,0:15:50.18,0:15:59.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,anybody else yeah that keeps coming out
Dialogue: 0,0:15:59.82,0:16:03.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I guess I could catch the real deep
Dialogue: 0,0:16:03.75,0:16:06.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,puzzlement that you feel as to what the
Dialogue: 0,0:16:06.42,0:16:09.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hell shall I do yes and you know what I
Dialogue: 0,0:16:09.87,0:16:12.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,can find doctor is that everything I
Dialogue: 0,0:16:12.93,0:16:15.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,start to do that I impulse it seems
Dialogue: 0,0:16:15.09,0:16:17.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,natural to tell Pierre or to go out on a
Dialogue: 0,0:16:17.37,0:16:18.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,day or something
Dialogue: 0,0:16:18.68,0:16:20.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,uncomfortable until I think how I was
Dialogue: 0,0:16:20.61,0:16:22.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,affected as a child and the minute that
Dialogue: 0,0:16:22.68,0:16:26.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,comes up and I'm all haywire like I want
Dialogue: 0,0:16:26.43,0:16:28.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to be a good mother so bad and I feel
Dialogue: 0,0:16:28.29,0:16:29.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like I have a good mother but then
Dialogue: 0,0:16:29.97,0:16:32.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there's those little exceptions like my
Dialogue: 0,0:16:32.16,0:16:33.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,guilts with working I want to work and
Dialogue: 0,0:16:33.93,0:16:35.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's so fun having extra money I like to
Dialogue: 0,0:16:35.61,0:16:37.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,work nice the minute I think I'm not
Dialogue: 0,0:16:37.29,0:16:38.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,being real good to the children are
Dialogue: 0,0:16:38.64,0:16:40.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,giving them enough time then I start
Dialogue: 0,0:16:40.02,0:16:41.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feeling guilty again then that's when I
Dialogue: 0,0:16:41.94,0:16:43.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,get some what do they call it a double
Dialogue: 0,0:16:43.74,0:16:45.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,line that's just what it feels like I
Dialogue: 0,0:16:45.18,0:16:46.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,want to do this and it feels right but
Dialogue: 0,0:16:46.92,0:16:48.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,after all I'm not being a good mother
Dialogue: 0,0:16:48.09,0:16:49.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I want to be both
Dialogue: 0,0:16:49.23,0:16:51.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm coming more and more aware of what a
Dialogue: 0,0:16:51.51,0:16:53.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,perfectionist I am that's what it seems
Dialogue: 0,0:16:53.22,0:16:55.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like I want to be so perfect you know I
Dialogue: 0,0:16:55.08,0:16:57.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,want to become perfect in my standards
Dialogue: 0,0:16:57.09,0:16:59.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or not have that need anymore or I guess
Dialogue: 0,0:16:59.85,0:17:03.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I hear it a little differently that what
Dialogue: 0,0:17:03.09,0:17:05.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you want us to seem perfect but it means
Dialogue: 0,0:17:05.82,0:17:09.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a great matter of great importance to
Dialogue: 0,0:17:09.78,0:17:12.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you to be a good mother and you want to
Dialogue: 0,0:17:12.63,0:17:14.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,seem to be a good mother even if some of
Dialogue: 0,0:17:14.40,0:17:17.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your actual feelings differ from them is
Dialogue: 0,0:17:17.97,0:17:19.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it okay yeah I feel like I'm saying that
Dialogue: 0,0:17:19.80,0:17:22.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no that is what I feel really I want to
Dialogue: 0,0:17:22.77,0:17:25.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,approve of me always but my actions
Dialogue: 0,0:17:25.23,0:17:29.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,won't let me I want to prove with me
Dialogue: 0,0:17:29.77,0:17:34.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I realize you alright let me understand
Dialogue: 0,0:17:34.48,0:17:37.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it the sound of your actions are kind of
Dialogue: 0,0:17:37.99,0:17:39.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,outside of you you want to approve of
Dialogue: 0,0:17:39.64,0:17:44.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you but what you do somehow won't let
Dialogue: 0,0:17:44.11,0:17:49.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you approve of your site like I feel but
Dialogue: 0,0:17:49.99,0:17:51.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I could approve with myself regarding
Dialogue: 0,0:17:51.64,0:17:54.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for example my sex life it is the big
Dialogue: 0,0:17:54.64,0:17:56.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,thing if I really fell in love the man
Dialogue: 0,0:17:56.92,0:17:59.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I respected him and I adored him I
Dialogue: 0,0:17:59.02,0:18:00.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't think I feel so guilty
Dialogue: 0,0:18:00.85,0:18:02.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,going to bed with him I don't think I'd
Dialogue: 0,0:18:02.41,0:18:03.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have to make up any excuses to the
Dialogue: 0,0:18:03.79,0:18:04.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,children because they could see my
Dialogue: 0,0:18:04.93,0:18:07.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,natural caring form but when they have
Dialogue: 0,0:18:07.18,0:18:09.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the physical desire and I'll say over
Dialogue: 0,0:18:09.37,0:18:10.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,why not
Dialogue: 0,0:18:10.00,0:18:12.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I want to anyway then I feel guilty
Dialogue: 0,0:18:12.55,0:18:14.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,afterwards I hate pleasing the kids I
Dialogue: 0,0:18:14.26,0:18:15.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't like looking at myself and I
Dialogue: 0,0:18:15.73,0:18:18.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,really enjoy it and this is what I mean
Dialogue: 0,0:18:18.16,0:18:20.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if the circumstances would be different
Dialogue: 0,0:18:20.17,0:18:21.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't think it's also guilty because I
Dialogue: 0,0:18:21.55,0:18:24.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feel right about it yeah I guess I hear
Dialogue: 0,0:18:24.64,0:18:26.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you saying if if what I was doing when I
Dialogue: 0,0:18:26.77,0:18:28.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,went to bed with a man was really
Dialogue: 0,0:18:28.21,0:18:30.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,genuine and full of love and respect and
Dialogue: 0,0:18:30.58,0:18:33.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so on I wouldn't feel guilty in relation
Dialogue: 0,0:18:33.04,0:18:35.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to Pam I wouldn't I really would be
Dialogue: 0,0:18:35.50,0:18:37.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,comfortable about that so I said yes and
Dialogue: 0,0:18:37.60,0:18:39.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know that sounds like I want a perfect
Dialogue: 0,0:18:39.97,0:18:42.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,situation but that is how I feel and in
Dialogue: 0,0:18:42.70,0:18:44.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the meantime I can't stop these desires
Dialogue: 0,0:18:44.41,0:18:46.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've tried that also I've tried saying
Dialogue: 0,0:18:46.84,0:18:48.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,okay I don't like myself when I do that
Dialogue: 0,0:18:48.49,0:18:51.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I would do it anymore but then I
Dialogue: 0,0:18:51.10,0:18:52.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,resent the children I think why should
Dialogue: 0,0:18:52.54,0:18:53.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they stop me from doing what I want and
Dialogue: 0,0:18:53.86,0:18:59.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's really not that bad
Dialogue: 0,0:18:59.60,0:19:02.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I guess I heard just saying - that
Dialogue: 0,0:19:02.27,0:19:06.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wasn't only the
Dialogue: 0,0:19:06.47,0:19:09.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I guess I heard you saying to them
Dialogue: 0,0:19:09.23,0:19:11.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,isn't only the children you don't like
Dialogue: 0,0:19:11.99,0:19:14.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it as well honey it really isn't I'm
Dialogue: 0,0:19:14.27,0:19:16.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sure that I know that's it probably even
Dialogue: 0,0:19:16.37,0:19:19.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,more so than I'm aware of that I all
Dialogue: 0,0:19:19.31,0:19:20.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,love it so much when I pick it up in the
Dialogue: 0,0:19:20.93,0:19:24.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,children then I can also moans in myself
Dialogue: 0,0:19:24.94,0:19:30.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,somehow sometimes you kind of feel like
Dialogue: 0,0:19:30.38,0:19:32.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,blaming in for the feelings you have and
Dialogue: 0,0:19:32.50,0:19:35.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,why should they cut you off from a
Dialogue: 0,0:19:35.75,0:19:39.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,normal sex life well a sex life I could
Dialogue: 0,0:19:39.32,0:19:40.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,say not rule because there is something
Dialogue: 0,0:19:40.85,0:19:42.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about me that says that smell they don't
Dialogue: 0,0:19:42.92,0:19:46.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,think to just go into sex because you
Dialogue: 0,0:19:46.01,0:19:47.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feel physically attractive or something
Dialogue: 0,0:19:47.84,0:19:50.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or a physical need so something about it
Dialogue: 0,0:19:50.57,0:19:56.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tells me that's not quite right anyway
Dialogue: 0,0:19:56.26,0:20:00.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's akhil really the times you're
Dialogue: 0,0:20:00.59,0:20:02.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,acting in ways that are not in occurred
Dialogue: 0,0:20:02.75,0:20:05.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with your own inner standards right
Dialogue: 0,0:20:05.68,0:20:09.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,great but then we're also saying a
Dialogue: 0,0:20:09.65,0:20:11.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,minute ago but to feel you can't help
Dialogue: 0,0:20:11.48,0:20:11.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that
Dialogue: 0,0:20:11.78,0:20:15.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yeah I wish I could that's it and I
Dialogue: 0,0:20:15.59,0:20:17.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,can't now I feel like I can't control
Dialogue: 0,0:20:17.69,0:20:19.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,myself as well as I could have before
Dialogue: 0,0:20:19.25,0:20:21.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for a specific reason now I can't I just
Dialogue: 0,0:20:21.44,0:20:23.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,let go and I have there's too many
Dialogue: 0,0:20:23.15,0:20:24.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,things I do wrong that I have to feel
Dialogue: 0,0:20:24.47,0:20:29.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,guilty for and I sure don't like that
Dialogue: 0,0:20:29.64,0:20:32.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want you very much to give me a direct
Dialogue: 0,0:20:32.13,0:20:33.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,answer and I'm going to ask it and I
Dialogue: 0,0:20:33.75,0:20:36.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't expect a direct answer but I want
Dialogue: 0,0:20:36.06,0:20:40.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to know do you feel that to me the most
Dialogue: 0,0:20:40.05,0:20:41.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,important thing is to be open and honest
Dialogue: 0,0:20:41.76,0:20:43.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and if I can be able to notice with my
Dialogue: 0,0:20:43.59,0:20:45.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,joy do you feel that it could handle
Dialogue: 0,0:20:45.27,0:20:47.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,them if for example I could say to PME I
Dialogue: 0,0:20:47.13,0:20:49.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was I felt bad lying to the PME and I
Dialogue: 0,0:20:49.92,0:20:51.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,want to tell you the truth now and if I
Dialogue: 0,0:20:51.48,0:20:54.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tell her the truth and she shocked at me
Dialogue: 0,0:20:54.15,0:20:55.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which she's upset but that could bother
Dialogue: 0,0:20:55.98,0:21:00.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,her more I want to get rid of my job so
Dialogue: 0,0:21:00.18,0:21:01.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that will help me but I don't want to
Dialogue: 0,0:21:01.26,0:21:04.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,put him on her okay he thought I could
Dialogue: 0,0:21:04.11,0:21:09.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hurt her I'm sorry I guess I'm sure this
Dialogue: 0,0:21:09.27,0:21:11.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,will sound evasive to you but it seems
Dialogue: 0,0:21:11.07,0:21:13.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to me that perhaps the person you're not
Dialogue: 0,0:21:13.41,0:21:19.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,being fully honest glib is you because I
Dialogue: 0,0:21:19.86,0:21:21.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was very much struck by the fact that
Dialogue: 0,0:21:21.54,0:21:25.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you were saying if I feel all right
Dialogue: 0,0:21:25.20,0:21:28.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about what I have done but it's going to
Dialogue: 0,0:21:28.23,0:21:30.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,beg you the man or what if I really feel
Dialogue: 0,0:21:30.30,0:21:32.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all right about it then I don't have any
Dialogue: 0,0:21:32.46,0:21:34.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,concern about what I would tell him or
Dialogue: 0,0:21:34.62,0:21:38.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all my relationships with me right all
Dialogue: 0,0:21:38.10,0:21:47.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,right then I hear what you're saying
Dialogue: 0,0:21:47.23,0:21:49.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then all right then I want to work on I
Dialogue: 0,0:21:49.51,0:21:51.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,want to work on accepting me them I want
Dialogue: 0,0:21:51.91,0:21:54.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to work on feeling all right about it
Dialogue: 0,0:21:54.39,0:21:56.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,now that makes sense that that will come
Dialogue: 0,0:21:56.68,0:21:57.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,natural and then I will have to worry
Dialogue: 0,0:21:57.88,0:22:01.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about him but when things don't seem so
Dialogue: 0,0:22:01.69,0:22:03.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wrong for me and I have an impostor
Dialogue: 0,0:22:03.10,0:22:09.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,driven how can I accept that what you'd
Dialogue: 0,0:22:09.82,0:22:12.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like to do is to feel more accepting
Dialogue: 0,0:22:12.46,0:22:15.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,toward yourself when you do things that
Dialogue: 0,0:22:15.01,0:22:17.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you feel are wrong right
Dialogue: 0,0:22:17.68,0:22:22.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I feel like like I'm saying yeah I feel
Dialogue: 0,0:22:22.48,0:22:23.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like you're going to say no why do you
Dialogue: 0,0:22:23.59,0:22:26.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,think they're wrong and I have mixed
Dialogue: 0,0:22:26.62,0:22:28.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feelings there too to therapy I'll say
Dialogue: 0,0:22:28.90,0:22:30.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no look I know this is natural women
Dialogue: 0,0:22:30.67,0:22:32.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feel it sure we don't talk about a lot
Dialogue: 0,0:22:32.11,0:22:34.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,socially so all women fill it in it's
Dialogue: 0,0:22:34.42,0:22:36.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,very natural I've had sex for the last
Dialogue: 0,0:22:36.19,0:22:38.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,11 years and of course going to want it
Dialogue: 0,0:22:38.23,0:22:40.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I still think it's wrong unless
Dialogue: 0,0:22:40.39,0:22:42.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're really truly in love with a man
Dialogue: 0,0:22:42.07,0:22:46.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and my body doesn't seem to agree that's
Dialogue: 0,0:22:46.15,0:22:49.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,why I don't know how to accept it sounds
Dialogue: 0,0:22:49.15,0:22:52.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like a triangle to me doesn't it you
Dialogue: 0,0:22:52.21,0:22:55.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feel that I or therapists in general or
Dialogue: 0,0:22:55.39,0:22:57.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,other people say it's alright it's
Dialogue: 0,0:22:57.40,0:23:01.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,alright natural huh go ahead and I guess
Dialogue: 0,0:23:01.75,0:23:03.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you feel your body sort of lines up on
Dialogue: 0,0:23:03.79,0:23:05.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that side of the picture but something
Dialogue: 0,0:23:05.95,0:23:09.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in you says but I don't like it that way
Dialogue: 0,0:23:09.52,0:23:13.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not much it's really right
Dialogue: 0,0:23:13.29,0:23:28.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,right
Dialogue: 0,0:23:28.83,0:23:34.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have a hopeful sign those are all the
Dialogue: 0,0:23:34.59,0:23:36.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,things I sorted for myself and I feel
Dialogue: 0,0:23:36.33,0:23:41.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the okay now what if you this is the
Dialogue: 0,0:23:41.85,0:23:44.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,conflict and it's just being soluble and
Dialogue: 0,0:23:44.46,0:23:47.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,therefore its focus and here you look to
Dialogue: 0,0:23:47.13,0:23:48.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,me and I don't seem to give you any help
Dialogue: 0,0:23:48.66,0:23:52.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than what I am I really really can't
Dialogue: 0,0:23:52.86,0:23:54.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,answer for me I have to figure it out
Dialogue: 0,0:23:54.24,0:23:56.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,myself but I want you to guide me or
Dialogue: 0,0:23:56.07,0:23:59.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,show me where to start or so it won't
Dialogue: 0,0:23:59.55,0:24:02.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,look so hopeless I know I can keep
Dialogue: 0,0:24:02.64,0:24:03.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,living with this conflict and I know
Dialogue: 0,0:24:03.93,0:24:05.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,eventually things would work out but I
Dialogue: 0,0:24:05.55,0:24:07.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like feeling more comfortable with the
Dialogue: 0,0:24:07.23,0:24:13.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,way I live
Dialogue: 0,0:24:13.97,0:24:16.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,anything I meant is what is it you wish
Dialogue: 0,0:24:16.80,0:24:21.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would say to you I wish you would say
Dialogue: 0,0:24:21.00,0:24:23.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to me
Dialogue: 0,0:24:23.03,0:24:27.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to be honest and take the risk that Pam
Dialogue: 0,0:24:27.59,0:24:31.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is going to accept me and I also have a
Dialogue: 0,0:24:31.13,0:24:32.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feeling if I could really risk it with
Dialogue: 0,0:24:32.57,0:24:35.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pammy of all people that I'd be able to
Dialogue: 0,0:24:35.51,0:24:36.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,see here's this little kid that can
Dialogue: 0,0:24:36.95,0:24:38.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,accept me and under they know about that
Dialogue: 0,0:24:38.93,0:24:40.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if she really knows what a demon I am
Dialogue: 0,0:24:40.64,0:24:42.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and still loves me and accepts me it
Dialogue: 0,0:24:42.53,0:24:43.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,seems like it would help me to accept me
Dialogue: 0,0:24:43.91,0:24:45.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,more like it's really not that bad I
Dialogue: 0,0:24:45.46,0:24:47.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,want you to say to go ahead and be
Dialogue: 0,0:24:47.69,0:24:51.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,honest but I don't want any sponsor
Dialogue: 0,0:24:51.26,0:24:54.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,berry but it would upset her that's
Dialogue: 0,0:24:54.23,0:24:56.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,right I might be something you know yeah
Dialogue: 0,0:24:56.59,0:24:59.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know very well what you'd like to do
Dialogue: 0,0:24:59.60,0:25:01.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in relationship you would like to be
Dialogue: 0,0:25:01.91,0:25:04.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yourself and you'd like to have her know
Dialogue: 0,0:25:04.22,0:25:06.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you're not perfect and do things
Dialogue: 0,0:25:06.17,0:25:08.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that maybe even she wouldn't approval to
Dialogue: 0,0:25:08.30,0:25:10.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,disapprove of to some degree yourself
Dialogue: 0,0:25:10.12,0:25:14.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but that somehow she would love you and
Dialogue: 0,0:25:14.60,0:25:19.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,accept you as an imperfect person
Dialogue: 0,0:25:19.11,0:25:21.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like I wonder if my mother had been more
Dialogue: 0,0:25:21.18,0:25:22.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,open with world maybe I would have had
Dialogue: 0,0:25:22.68,0:25:25.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,such a narrow attitude about sex if I
Dialogue: 0,0:25:25.23,0:25:26.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would have thought that she could be you
Dialogue: 0,0:25:26.55,0:25:29.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,know pretty sexy and corny and devilish
Dialogue: 0,0:25:29.07,0:25:30.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,too but I would look at her as being
Dialogue: 0,0:25:30.78,0:25:32.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,such a sweet mother than she could also
Dialogue: 0,0:25:32.64,0:25:34.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be the other side but she didn't talk
Dialogue: 0,0:25:34.17,0:25:36.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about that maybe that's where I got my
Dialogue: 0,0:25:36.27,0:25:37.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,picture I don't know but I want Tami to
Dialogue: 0,0:25:37.86,0:25:40.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,see me as a full woman but also accept
Dialogue: 0,0:25:40.68,0:25:45.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,me you know it's not so I'm certain I
Dialogue: 0,0:25:45.68,0:25:50.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't do you mean what I mean is you've
Dialogue: 0,0:25:50.85,0:25:52.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,been sitting there telling me just what
Dialogue: 0,0:25:52.47,0:25:53.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you would like to do in that
Dialogue: 0,0:25:53.91,0:25:59.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,relationship with him I would but I
Dialogue: 0,0:25:59.22,0:26:00.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't quite take the risk of doing it
Dialogue: 0,0:26:00.96,0:26:04.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Leslie already tells me that yes I guess
Dialogue: 0,0:26:04.74,0:26:07.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one thing that I feel very keenly is
Dialogue: 0,0:26:07.89,0:26:20.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's an awfully risky thing to live
Dialogue: 0,0:26:20.56,0:26:22.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,maybe taking a chance on your
Dialogue: 0,0:26:22.66,0:26:26.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,relationship with her taking a chance on
Dialogue: 0,0:26:26.23,0:26:36.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,letting her know who you were really
Dialogue: 0,0:26:36.22,0:26:38.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even if I don't take a chance if I still
Dialogue: 0,0:26:38.89,0:26:40.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have an accepted buyer I'm never going
Dialogue: 0,0:26:40.27,0:26:45.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to sell it about it anyway if your love
Dialogue: 0,0:26:45.16,0:26:48.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and acceptance of you is based on a
Dialogue: 0,0:26:48.61,0:26:51.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,false picture of you what the hell is
Dialogue: 0,0:26:51.85,0:26:57.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the good of that but I also feeling a
Dialogue: 0,0:26:57.49,0:27:00.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lot of responsibility with being a
Dialogue: 0,0:27:00.49,0:27:00.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mother
Dialogue: 0,0:27:00.82,0:27:03.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what Idol I don't want to feel like I've
Dialogue: 0,0:27:03.10,0:27:04.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,caused any big traumas and the children
Dialogue: 0,0:27:04.78,0:27:06.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they don't like all that responsibility
Dialogue: 0,0:27:06.13,0:27:08.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's what I don't like feeling it
Dialogue: 0,0:27:08.38,0:27:12.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,could be my fault because that's what I
Dialogue: 0,0:27:12.04,0:27:17.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,meant when I said life is risky to take
Dialogue: 0,0:27:17.86,0:27:20.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the responsibility for being a person
Dialogue: 0,0:27:20.26,0:27:22.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you would like to be with her is a
Dialogue: 0,0:27:22.87,0:27:26.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,however responsibility it is a very
Dialogue: 0,0:27:26.59,0:27:30.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,frightening the only way I look at it
Dialogue: 0,0:27:30.01,0:27:32.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,two ways I like to see myself as being
Dialogue: 0,0:27:32.20,0:27:34.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so honest with the kids and really being
Dialogue: 0,0:27:34.48,0:27:35.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,proud of myself though that no matter
Dialogue: 0,0:27:35.83,0:27:37.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what I told them or no matter how bad
Dialogue: 0,0:27:37.81,0:27:39.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they may think I was I was honest and
Dialogue: 0,0:27:39.46,0:27:41.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,down deep it's going to be a much more
Dialogue: 0,0:27:41.56,0:27:43.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wholesome relationship and yet you know
Dialogue: 0,0:27:43.72,0:27:45.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I get jealous like when they're with
Dialogue: 0,0:27:45.79,0:27:48.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,their daddy I feel he's more flip he's
Dialogue: 0,0:27:48.43,0:27:49.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not quite as real he's not quite as
Dialogue: 0,0:27:49.96,0:27:51.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,honest but nevertheless they see a sweet
Dialogue: 0,0:27:51.91,0:27:52.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,picture of their dad
Dialogue: 0,0:27:52.93,0:27:54.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know mozell Phyllis tonight and I'm
Dialogue: 0,0:27:54.61,0:27:56.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,envious of that too I want them to see
Dialogue: 0,0:27:56.71,0:27:58.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was just too sweet if they see him
Dialogue: 0,0:27:58.73,0:28:00.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know he's not quite as well with them
Dialogue: 0,0:28:00.52,0:28:02.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so it seems like I've got to swap the
Dialogue: 0,0:28:02.66,0:28:05.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one for the other and I know this is
Dialogue: 0,0:28:05.09,0:28:07.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,really what I want the most but I miss
Dialogue: 0,0:28:07.49,0:28:12.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,some of that glory so feel I want them
Dialogue: 0,0:28:12.14,0:28:14.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to have just as nice a picture of me as
Dialogue: 0,0:28:14.30,0:28:16.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the head of their dad that is a little
Dialogue: 0,0:28:16.31,0:28:17.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,funny
Dialogue: 0,0:28:17.39,0:28:19.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then maybe nine I'll have to be - I
Dialogue: 0,0:28:19.76,0:28:21.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,think that's putting a little too strong
Dialogue: 0,0:28:21.14,0:28:27.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's close I just bring me I know she
Dialogue: 0,0:28:27.29,0:28:29.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,can have that literature of me if I were
Dialogue: 0,0:28:29.03,0:28:32.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,honest decide that I do go I'm Luna
Dialogue: 0,0:28:32.18,0:28:34.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,honored and dad anyway so I'm like you
Dialogue: 0,0:28:34.55,0:28:38.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do more things that they disapprove of
Dialogue: 0,0:28:38.83,0:28:41.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sounds are you really find it quite hard
Dialogue: 0,0:28:41.42,0:28:44.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to believe what they would really love
Dialogue: 0,0:28:44.81,0:28:47.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you if they knew that's right you know
Dialogue: 0,0:28:47.96,0:28:52.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's exactly it before therapy
Dialogue: 0,0:28:52.09,0:28:54.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who she cares about need a picture of me
Dialogue: 0,0:28:54.25,0:28:57.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if I were honest the fact that I do go
Dialogue: 0,0:28:57.40,0:28:59.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on loan will honor their dad anyway
Dialogue: 0,0:28:59.35,0:29:01.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,unlikely bill more things that said
Dialogue: 0,0:29:01.33,0:29:06.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,disapproval so you really find it quite
Dialogue: 0,0:29:06.76,0:29:10.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hard to believe but they would really
Dialogue: 0,0:29:10.06,0:29:13.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,love you if they knew you that's right
Dialogue: 0,0:29:13.03,0:29:14.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know that's exactly it
Dialogue: 0,0:29:14.41,0:29:16.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,before therapy I would have definitely
Dialogue: 0,0:29:16.81,0:29:19.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,chosen the other area I'm going to get
Dialogue: 0,0:29:19.00,0:29:21.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,respect remain no matter what even if I
Dialogue: 0,0:29:21.10,0:29:21.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have to lie
Dialogue: 0,0:29:21.76,0:29:24.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,alright now I know that's not true and
Dialogue: 0,0:29:24.07,0:29:25.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm not positive
Dialogue: 0,0:29:25.69,0:29:27.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they'll truly accept me something tells
Dialogue: 0,0:29:27.88,0:29:29.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,me they will I know diva but I'm not
Dialogue: 0,0:29:29.20,0:29:29.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,positive
Dialogue: 0,0:29:29.68,0:29:32.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll agree sure I keep wanting this in
Dialogue: 0,0:29:32.74,0:29:35.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kind of a no-man's land of probably
Dialogue: 0,0:29:35.83,0:29:37.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,shifting from one point of view to them
Dialogue: 0,0:29:37.93,0:29:39.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to another that boy I'd sure like
Dialogue: 0,0:29:39.85,0:29:41.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,somebody to say that's right you go
Dialogue: 0,0:29:41.71,0:29:43.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ahead and do it yes that's why I get
Dialogue: 0,0:29:43.33,0:29:44.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,encouraged when I read in a book from
Dialogue: 0,0:29:44.65,0:29:46.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,somebody I respect and admire but this
Dialogue: 0,0:29:46.69,0:29:47.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is the right thing no matter what
Dialogue: 0,0:29:47.80,0:29:49.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,honesty will win out well then that
Dialogue: 0,0:29:49.45,0:29:50.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,keeps giving with compliments by gosh
Dialogue: 0,0:29:50.92,0:29:55.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and right it it's a damn hard day really
Dialogue: 0,0:29:55.69,0:29:58.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,choose something on their own isn't it
Dialogue: 0,0:29:58.15,0:30:00.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which makes me feel very immature I
Dialogue: 0,0:30:00.34,0:30:01.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't like this I mean I wish I were
Dialogue: 0,0:30:01.84,0:30:03.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,great live enough for mature enough to
Dialogue: 0,0:30:03.46,0:30:05.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,make my decisions we stick by them but I
Dialogue: 0,0:30:05.74,0:30:07.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,need somebody to help me on somebody to
Dialogue: 0,0:30:07.66,0:30:12.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,push me
Dialogue: 0,0:30:12.18,0:30:15.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so she can approach yourself for that I
Dialogue: 0,0:30:15.22,0:30:18.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,guess until why if I was anybody if I
Dialogue: 0,0:30:18.40,0:30:20.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was grown up I'd be mature enough to
Dialogue: 0,0:30:20.35,0:30:24.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,decide things like this price them right
Dialogue: 0,0:30:24.39,0:30:27.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and take more risk I wish that take more
Dialogue: 0,0:30:27.43,0:30:30.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,risks I wish that I could just go ahead
Dialogue: 0,0:30:30.37,0:30:31.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and be this with any however the
Dialogue: 0,0:30:31.75,0:30:33.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,children go up I've done with this I
Dialogue: 0,0:30:33.40,0:30:34.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,didn't have to constantly have this
Dialogue: 0,0:30:34.51,0:30:36.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,conflict and I glide Satan used to say
Dialogue: 0,0:30:36.82,0:30:38.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no matter what you ask me kids at least
Dialogue: 0,0:30:38.41,0:30:39.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I told you the truth you may not have
Dialogue: 0,0:30:39.61,0:30:41.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,liked it but it's been the truth that's
Dialogue: 0,0:30:41.35,0:30:44.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all now I can admire I just respect
Dialogue: 0,0:30:44.86,0:30:46.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,people that lie I hate it so you see
Dialogue: 0,0:30:46.66,0:30:48.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what a good learner I am is I hate
Dialogue: 0,0:30:48.19,0:30:50.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,myself if I'm bad but I also hate myself
Dialogue: 0,0:30:50.02,0:30:50.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if I lie
Dialogue: 0,0:30:50.97,0:30:54.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so it's accepting you want to become
Dialogue: 0,0:30:54.31,0:31:00.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,more accepting I guess judging here tone
Dialogue: 0,0:31:00.64,0:31:02.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of voice you sound as when you hate
Dialogue: 0,0:31:02.26,0:31:04.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yourself more when you live and do in
Dialogue: 0,0:31:04.93,0:31:07.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,terms of things you disappear really I
Dialogue: 0,0:31:07.60,0:31:09.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do because this was really bothered me
Dialogue: 0,0:31:09.70,0:31:11.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this happen with family about a month
Dialogue: 0,0:31:11.02,0:31:12.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ago and it keeps coming to learn I don't
Dialogue: 0,0:31:12.79,0:31:14.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,know whether to go back and talk to her
Dialogue: 0,0:31:14.20,0:31:14.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about it
Dialogue: 0,0:31:14.68,0:31:16.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,oh wait she may have even forgotten what
Dialogue: 0,0:31:16.84,0:31:19.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she asked me that though everyone does
Dialogue: 0,0:31:19.96,0:31:24.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you haven't forgotten I have no I like
Dialogue: 0,0:31:24.16,0:31:25.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at least be able to tell her this I
Dialogue: 0,0:31:25.45,0:31:27.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,remember lying and I'm sorry lied and
Dialogue: 0,0:31:27.43,0:31:33.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's been driving me bugs because I did
Dialogue: 0,0:31:33.79,0:31:36.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know I feel like now that's
Dialogue: 0,0:31:36.01,0:31:37.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,solved and I don't even solve a thing
Dialogue: 0,0:31:37.75,0:31:44.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I feel relieved I am I just feel
Dialogue: 0,0:31:44.41,0:31:46.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like you've been saying to me you're not
Dialogue: 0,0:31:46.57,0:31:48.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,giving me advice but I feel like you're
Dialogue: 0,0:31:48.25,0:31:50.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,saying you really want to know what
Dialogue: 0,0:31:50.98,0:31:52.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pattern you want to follow Gloria and go
Dialogue: 0,0:31:52.63,0:31:54.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ahead and follow it that's what I feel
Dialogue: 0,0:31:54.28,0:31:58.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,stacking up for you I guess the way I
Dialogue: 0,0:31:58.12,0:32:02.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sense it is you've been telling me that
Dialogue: 0,0:32:02.44,0:32:05.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know what you want to do and yes I
Dialogue: 0,0:32:05.23,0:32:07.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do believe in backing up people and what
Dialogue: 0,0:32:07.27,0:32:12.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they want to do just a little different
Dialogue: 0,0:32:12.82,0:32:17.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,slant from the way it seems to you
Dialogue: 0,0:32:17.69,0:32:19.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are you tell me one thing that concerns
Dialogue: 0,0:32:19.85,0:32:24.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,me it's no damn good you're doing
Dialogue: 0,0:32:24.11,0:32:28.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,something that you haven't really chosen
Dialogue: 0,0:32:28.13,0:32:30.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to do that's why I'm trying to help you
Dialogue: 0,0:32:30.85,0:32:33.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,find out what's your own inner choices
Dialogue: 0,0:32:33.65,0:32:39.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in and there's also a conflict there
Dialogue: 0,0:32:39.05,0:32:41.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I'm not really positive what I
Dialogue: 0,0:32:41.00,0:32:43.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,want to do the lying part yes but I'm
Dialogue: 0,0:32:43.10,0:32:44.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not positive what I want to do when I go
Dialogue: 0,0:32:44.75,0:32:46.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,against myself like when I bring in the
Dialogue: 0,0:32:46.91,0:32:48.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,end of the house I'm not sure I want to
Dialogue: 0,0:32:48.56,0:32:50.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do that if I feel guilty afterwards
Dialogue: 0,0:32:50.21,0:32:54.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,unless not really wanted to just to say
Dialogue: 0,0:32:54.67,0:32:56.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just sure which words you use but you
Dialogue: 0,0:32:56.69,0:32:58.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't want it you don't like yourself or
Dialogue: 0,0:32:58.16,0:32:59.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you don't agree with it when you do
Dialogue: 0,0:32:59.69,0:33:06.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,something against yourself
Dialogue: 0,0:33:06.43,0:33:08.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know this is so different now this
Dialogue: 0,0:33:08.65,0:33:09.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kind of thing that we're talking about
Dialogue: 0,0:33:09.64,0:33:10.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,now
Dialogue: 0,0:33:10.21,0:33:11.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it isn't just knowing whether you want
Dialogue: 0,0:33:11.41,0:33:12.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to do something or not if I want to go
Dialogue: 0,0:33:12.76,0:33:13.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to work in the morning or I don't want
Dialogue: 0,0:33:13.87,0:33:15.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to go to look that's easy but when I
Dialogue: 0,0:33:15.82,0:33:17.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,find myself doing something I don't feel
Dialogue: 0,0:33:17.65,0:33:19.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,comfortable with I automatically say if
Dialogue: 0,0:33:19.78,0:33:21.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're not comfortable glory it's not
Dialogue: 0,0:33:21.28,0:33:22.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,right something's wrong
Dialogue: 0,0:33:22.51,0:33:24.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all right now what I want to ask you is
Dialogue: 0,0:33:24.31,0:33:26.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how can I know which is the strongest
Dialogue: 0,0:33:26.08,0:33:27.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I do it does that mean that the
Dialogue: 0,0:33:27.67,0:33:30.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,strongest and yet if I disapprove that's
Dialogue: 0,0:33:30.79,0:33:31.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just part of the thing that's got to go
Dialogue: 0,0:33:31.90,0:33:34.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on with it see it sounds like you I'm
Dialogue: 0,0:33:34.69,0:33:36.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,picking up a contradiction I'm letting
Dialogue: 0,0:33:36.28,0:33:38.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know falling
Dialogue: 0,0:33:38.40,0:33:41.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,some of you feeling a contradiction in
Dialogue: 0,0:33:41.38,0:33:44.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yourself team oh you what I heard you
Dialogue: 0,0:33:44.86,0:33:48.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,saying in part is the way you like it
Dialogue: 0,0:33:48.64,0:33:50.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is when you feel really comfortable
Dialogue: 0,0:33:50.20,0:33:53.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about what you're doing yes and I have
Dialogue: 0,0:33:53.35,0:33:55.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at times when I've made a decision
Dialogue: 0,0:33:55.59,0:33:57.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,now that seems right that feels
Dialogue: 0,0:33:57.67,0:33:59.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,perfectly right no conflict but then
Dialogue: 0,0:33:59.32,0:34:01.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there are times I do things that I feel
Dialogue: 0,0:34:01.66,0:34:03.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,uncomfortable with so that there is the
Dialogue: 0,0:34:03.25,0:34:06.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,conflict there it's not the same at all
Dialogue: 0,0:34:06.93,0:34:09.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so what I'm saying is how I really know
Dialogue: 0,0:34:09.28,0:34:10.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when I'm falling my true feelings if I
Dialogue: 0,0:34:10.81,0:34:12.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have conflicts afterwards or guilt
Dialogue: 0,0:34:12.34,0:34:15.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,afterwards I see because in the moment
Dialogue: 0,0:34:15.61,0:34:16.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that may seem like your true feelings
Dialogue: 0,0:34:16.96,0:34:21.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yes like if I'm starting to do it okay
Dialogue: 0,0:34:21.48,0:34:26.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so it really is tough
Dialogue: 0,0:34:26.58,0:34:29.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and if you feel comfortable in a moment
Dialogue: 0,0:34:29.59,0:34:31.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about it but then after it don't feel at
Dialogue: 0,0:34:31.42,0:34:34.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all comfortable which course of action
Dialogue: 0,0:34:34.39,0:34:35.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is really the one you should have
Dialogue: 0,0:34:35.47,0:34:37.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,followed the most outstanding thing I
Dialogue: 0,0:34:37.39,0:34:38.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't know if you follow me when I say
Dialogue: 0,0:34:38.68,0:34:40.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about this conflict the one thing I know
Dialogue: 0,0:34:40.51,0:34:42.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is I boil it for example to leave my
Dialogue: 0,0:34:42.46,0:34:44.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,husband for quite a few years I never
Dialogue: 0,0:34:44.44,0:34:46.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,did it I kept thinking how nice it would
Dialogue: 0,0:34:46.00,0:34:47.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be or how scary it would be but I never
Dialogue: 0,0:34:47.53,0:34:49.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,did it and all of a sudden when I did it
Dialogue: 0,0:34:49.60,0:34:51.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,felt right I didn't feel mean toward him
Dialogue: 0,0:34:51.43,0:34:52.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I just knew this is what I had to do
Dialogue: 0,0:34:52.87,0:34:55.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's what I know and following myself
Dialogue: 0,0:34:55.00,0:34:57.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm fine my feelings completely had no
Dialogue: 0,0:34:57.25,0:34:59.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,conflict there some of the happy things
Dialogue: 0,0:34:59.20,0:35:01.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,came from it but I still had no conflict
Dialogue: 0,0:35:01.00,0:35:02.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that to me is will in following my
Dialogue: 0,0:35:02.86,0:35:05.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feelings and in everyday life the small
Dialogue: 0,0:35:05.50,0:35:06.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,little decisions the small little things
Dialogue: 0,0:35:06.97,0:35:08.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to do don't come out that clear at all
Dialogue: 0,0:35:08.55,0:35:11.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so many conflicts coming if it's natural
Dialogue: 0,0:35:11.86,0:35:14.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,although you're saying I expect it is
Dialogue: 0,0:35:14.77,0:35:17.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but but you're saying TV you know
Dialogue: 0,0:35:17.41,0:35:19.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,perfectly well of feeling within
Dialogue: 0,0:35:19.06,0:35:21.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yourself that occurs when you're really
Dialogue: 0,0:35:21.97,0:35:24.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,doing something it's right for you I do
Dialogue: 0,0:35:24.88,0:35:28.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I do and I miss that feeling other times
Dialogue: 0,0:35:28.66,0:35:31.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's better way a clue to me you can
Dialogue: 0,0:35:31.69,0:35:33.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,really listen to yourself sometimes
Dialogue: 0,0:35:33.01,0:35:35.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,realize no no this isn't the vague
Dialogue: 0,0:35:35.74,0:35:38.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feeling this isn't this isn't the way I
Dialogue: 0,0:35:38.17,0:35:40.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would feel if I was doing that I
Dialogue: 0,0:35:40.27,0:35:42.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we wanted to do but yet many times I'll
Dialogue: 0,0:35:42.37,0:35:43.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,go along and do it anyway
Dialogue: 0,0:35:43.57,0:35:45.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and say oh well I'm in the situation
Dialogue: 0,0:35:45.64,0:35:51.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll just remember next time I mentioned
Dialogue: 0,0:35:51.10,0:35:52.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this one a lot in therapy and most
Dialogue: 0,0:35:52.81,0:35:54.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,therapists granite knee or gig or
Dialogue: 0,0:35:54.07,0:35:55.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,something when I say utopia but when I
Dialogue: 0,0:35:55.90,0:35:57.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do fall or feeling and I feel this good
Dialogue: 0,0:35:57.79,0:35:59.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feeling inside me that's sort of utopia
Dialogue: 0,0:35:59.59,0:36:01.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's what I mean that's the way I like
Dialogue: 0,0:36:01.09,0:36:02.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to feel whether it's a bad thing or a
Dialogue: 0,0:36:02.65,0:36:05.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,good thing but I feel right about me
Dialogue: 0,0:36:05.52,0:36:08.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's what you'll knows utopian moments
Dialogue: 0,0:36:08.83,0:36:10.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you really feel kind of whole you feel
Dialogue: 0,0:36:10.60,0:36:13.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all in one piece yeah yeah it gives me a
Dialogue: 0,0:36:13.75,0:36:15.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,choked up feeling when you say that
Dialogue: 0,0:36:15.01,0:36:16.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I don't get that as often as I'd
Dialogue: 0,0:36:16.78,0:36:19.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like I like that whole feeling that's
Dialogue: 0,0:36:19.87,0:36:22.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,real precious to me xscape none of us
Dialogue: 0,0:36:22.24,0:36:24.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,get it as often as we like but I really
Dialogue: 0,0:36:24.07,0:36:30.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do understand
Dialogue: 0,0:36:30.78,0:36:33.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't touch you didn't and you know
Dialogue: 0,0:36:33.36,0:36:35.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we're also are just thinking I thought
Dialogue: 0,0:36:35.43,0:36:40.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he's done saying it
Dialogue: 0,0:36:40.75,0:36:42.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all of a sudden isn't on here is Betsy
Dialogue: 0,0:36:42.76,0:36:44.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on right I can talk to you and I want
Dialogue: 0,0:36:44.41,0:36:46.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you to approve of me and I respect you
Dialogue: 0,0:36:46.51,0:36:49.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I miss what my father can talk to me
Dialogue: 0,0:36:49.12,0:36:51.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like you are way I'd like to say to you
Dialogue: 0,0:36:51.10,0:36:56.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like you for my father I only know one
Dialogue: 0,0:36:56.50,0:36:58.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that came to me you look to me like a
Dialogue: 0,0:36:58.27,0:37:09.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pretty nice gutter
Dialogue: 0,0:37:09.05,0:37:11.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but you really do miss the fact that you
Dialogue: 0,0:37:11.96,0:37:14.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,couldn't be open with your own game
Dialogue: 0,0:37:14.98,0:37:17.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know I couldn't be open below I
Dialogue: 0,0:37:17.45,0:37:19.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,won't blame it on him I think I'm more
Dialogue: 0,0:37:19.19,0:37:21.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,open than hit alarm II mean II would
Dialogue: 0,0:37:21.86,0:37:22.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,never
Dialogue: 0,0:37:22.22,0:37:27.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this will be talk like you are and not
Dialogue: 0,0:37:27.98,0:37:30.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,disapprove but not blowing me down it
Dialogue: 0,0:37:30.44,0:37:31.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yeah I thought of this year the day why
Dialogue: 0,0:37:31.88,0:37:33.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do I always have to be so perfect I'm
Dialogue: 0,0:37:33.65,0:37:35.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,why he always wanted me to be perfect I
Dialogue: 0,0:37:35.75,0:37:39.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,always had to be better and yeah is that
Dialogue: 0,0:37:39.56,0:37:42.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it was trying like hell to be the girl
Dialogue: 0,0:37:42.47,0:37:44.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he wants you to be you have to same time
Dialogue: 0,0:37:44.69,0:37:45.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my darling thank you
Dialogue: 0,0:37:45.77,0:37:47.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like I almost started writing in the
Dialogue: 0,0:37:47.15,0:37:48.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,letter the other day and telling him I'm
Dialogue: 0,0:37:48.77,0:37:50.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a waitress which I expected to
Dialogue: 0,0:37:50.18,0:37:51.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,disapprove of like while at nights and I
Dialogue: 0,0:37:51.83,0:37:54.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I always quoted hanging back like no how
Dialogue: 0,0:37:54.02,0:37:56.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do you like me and yet I really want
Dialogue: 0,0:37:56.57,0:37:59.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,acceptance and love from him I mean I
Dialogue: 0,0:37:59.51,0:38:01.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,really never use slapping and say this
Dialogue: 0,0:38:01.79,0:38:03.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is what I am seeing
Dialogue: 0,0:38:03.11,0:38:05.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yeah but it amazed me how do you like it
Dialogue: 0,0:38:05.45,0:38:07.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but you know what I think I want him to
Dialogue: 0,0:38:07.01,0:38:08.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,say and this was you all along for me
Dialogue: 0,0:38:08.93,0:38:12.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I really love you I guess you really
Dialogue: 0,0:38:12.83,0:38:17.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feel badly you think there's very little
Dialogue: 0,0:38:17.27,0:38:21.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,chance you'll say that well maybe it
Dialogue: 0,0:38:21.65,0:38:24.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,isn't here I went back home in about two
Dialogue: 0,0:38:24.86,0:38:26.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,years ago really really to let him know
Dialogue: 0,0:38:26.84,0:38:29.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I loved him although I bit later him but
Dialogue: 0,0:38:29.18,0:38:31.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he doesn't hear me he just keeps saying
Dialogue: 0,0:38:31.04,0:38:32.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,things like honey you know I love you
Dialogue: 0,0:38:32.81,0:38:34.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know I've always loved doing shit up
Dialogue: 0,0:38:34.85,0:38:39.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in here
Dialogue: 0,0:38:39.32,0:38:43.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,never really known you and loved you and
Dialogue: 0,0:38:43.74,0:38:46.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this somehow is what brings the tears in
Dialogue: 0,0:38:46.74,0:38:50.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,time I don't know what it is you know
Dialogue: 0,0:38:50.19,0:38:53.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what it
Dialogue: 0,0:38:53.24,0:38:57.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,never really known you and loved you and
Dialogue: 0,0:38:57.44,0:39:00.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this somehow is what brings the tears
Dialogue: 0,0:39:00.08,0:39:03.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,inside I don't know what it is
Dialogue: 0,0:39:03.41,0:39:04.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know want to talk about it it feels
Dialogue: 0,0:39:04.85,0:39:07.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,more flip if I just sit still it it
Dialogue: 0,0:39:07.01,0:39:08.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feels like a great big hurt down there
Dialogue: 0,0:39:08.60,0:39:09.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,did I
Dialogue: 0,0:39:09.79,0:39:18.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mm-hmm much much easier to be a little
Dialogue: 0,0:39:18.44,0:39:22.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,flip because then you don't feel that
Dialogue: 0,0:39:22.13,0:39:27.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,big lump inside over and again that's a
Dialogue: 0,0:39:27.29,0:39:28.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hopeless situation
Dialogue: 0,0:39:28.37,0:39:31.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I tried working on it and I feel
Dialogue: 0,0:39:31.82,0:39:33.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,thinking I have to accept my father just
Dialogue: 0,0:39:33.77,0:39:35.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,isn't the type of reality like I'd like
Dialogue: 0,0:39:35.48,0:39:37.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,somebody more understanding and caring
Dialogue: 0,0:39:37.03,0:39:40.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he cares but not in the way that we
Dialogue: 0,0:39:40.16,0:39:45.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,cooperate and communicate you'll note
Dialogue: 0,0:39:45.98,0:39:51.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I am permanently cheated hmm that's
Dialogue: 0,0:39:51.08,0:39:53.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,why I like substitutes like I like
Dialogue: 0,0:39:53.39,0:39:55.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,talking to you and I like limit I can
Dialogue: 0,0:39:55.46,0:39:59.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,respect doctors on my I keep sort of
Dialogue: 0,0:39:59.72,0:40:01.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,maybe underneath feeling like we're real
Dialogue: 0,0:40:01.55,0:40:02.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,close you know and it's sort of like a
Dialogue: 0,0:40:02.63,0:40:06.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,substitute father
Dialogue: 0,0:40:06.43,0:40:10.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't feel this became
Dialogue: 0,0:40:10.12,0:40:12.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,well they're not really my father no I
Dialogue: 0,0:40:12.79,0:40:15.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,meant about the real close business
Dialogue: 0,0:40:15.51,0:40:18.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we'll see I think about pretending to
Dialogue: 0,0:40:18.13,0:40:20.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I can't expect you to feel very
Dialogue: 0,0:40:20.14,0:40:22.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,close to me you don't know me that well
Dialogue: 0,0:40:22.38,0:40:26.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all I can do is what I am feeling that
Dialogue: 0,0:40:26.29,0:40:40.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is I feel close to you in this moment
Dialogue: 0,0:40:40.38,0:40:43.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in spite of feeling initially
Dialogue: 0,0:40:43.10,0:40:44.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,artificiality of the situation
Dialogue: 0,0:40:44.85,0:40:47.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,particularly the hot light I very
Dialogue: 0,0:40:47.76,0:40:51.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,quickly became oblivious to the outside
Dialogue: 0,0:40:51.78,0:40:55.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,situation and I think the Gloria did too
Dialogue: 0,0:40:55.91,0:40:59.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in many ways I'm glad that she kept
Dialogue: 0,0:40:59.45,0:41:02.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pushing me for an answer to her Rea
Dialogue: 0,0:41:02.81,0:41:06.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,personal questions about her sex life
Dialogue: 0,0:41:06.75,0:41:09.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and her relationship to her daughter I
Dialogue: 0,0:41:09.44,0:41:13.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,say I'm glad of this because as the
Dialogue: 0,0:41:13.41,0:41:16.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,relationship developed it became I think
Dialogue: 0,0:41:16.11,0:41:19.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,completely clear to her as well as to me
Dialogue: 0,0:41:19.01,0:41:21.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that she was seeking something a good
Dialogue: 0,0:41:21.54,0:41:24.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,deal deeper than that incidentally I'd
Dialogue: 0,0:41:24.36,0:41:28.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like to pay my tribute to her deep
Dialogue: 0,0:41:28.74,0:41:31.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,honesty and being willing to talk about
Dialogue: 0,0:41:31.32,0:41:35.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,herself so freely although every
Dialogue: 0,0:41:35.70,0:41:39.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,individual is entirely unique and in
Dialogue: 0,0:41:39.12,0:41:41.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this respect I was definitely unprepared
Dialogue: 0,0:41:41.85,0:41:43.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for and sometimes surprised by the
Dialogue: 0,0:41:43.35,0:41:45.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,material she brought up still in another
Dialogue: 0,0:41:45.90,0:41:48.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sense this was very typical of my
Dialogue: 0,0:41:48.54,0:41:52.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,experiences in therapy when I'm able
Dialogue: 0,0:41:52.08,0:41:54.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,really to let myself enter into a
Dialogue: 0,0:41:54.78,0:41:57.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,relationship and I feel that this was
Dialogue: 0,0:41:57.93,0:42:01.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,true in this instance then I find myself
Dialogue: 0,0:42:01.35,0:42:04.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not only being increasingly moved by
Dialogue: 0,0:42:04.62,0:42:06.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,being in touch with the inner world of
Dialogue: 0,0:42:06.90,0:42:09.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my client but I find myself bringing out
Dialogue: 0,0:42:09.66,0:42:12.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of my own inner experience statements
Dialogue: 0,0:42:12.96,0:42:15.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which seem to have no connection with
Dialogue: 0,0:42:15.45,0:42:18.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what's going on but which usually proved
Dialogue: 0,0:42:18.15,0:42:20.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to be approved to have a very
Dialogue: 0,0:42:20.94,0:42:23.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,significant relationship to what the
Dialogue: 0,0:42:23.19,0:42:25.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,client is experiencing I felt there were
Dialogue: 0,0:42:25.89,0:42:28.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one or two incidents of this kind
Dialogue: 0,0:42:28.71,0:42:33.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in this brief interview I was genuinely
Dialogue: 0,0:42:33.96,0:42:36.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,moved I probably showed it by the fact
Dialogue: 0,0:42:36.51,0:42:38.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that she told me near the end of the
Dialogue: 0,0:42:38.37,0:42:42.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,contact she saw me as the father she
Dialogue: 0,0:42:42.75,0:42:46.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would like to have my reply was also a
Dialogue: 0,0:42:46.20,0:42:49.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,thoroughly spontaneous one that she
Dialogue: 0,0:42:49.05,0:42:50.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,seemed to me like a pretty nice daughter
Dialogue: 0,0:42:50.49,0:42:56.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I guess I feel that we were only playing
Dialogue: 0,0:42:56.31,0:42:58.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the real world of relationships when I
Dialogue: 0,0:42:58.62,0:43:01.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,talk about such an experience in terms
Dialogue: 0,0:43:01.29,0:43:04.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of transference and countertransference
Dialogue: 0,0:43:04.80,0:43:08.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I feel quite deeply about that I want to
Dialogue: 0,0:43:08.37,0:43:11.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,say yes we can put this experience and
Dialogue: 0,0:43:11.67,0:43:14.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do some such highly intellectualized
Dialogue: 0,0:43:14.31,0:43:16.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,framework that when we do that it
Dialogue: 0,0:43:16.65,0:43:21.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,completely misses the point of the very
Dialogue: 0,0:43:21.06,0:43:23.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,immediate eval quality of the
Dialogue: 0,0:43:23.70,0:43:28.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,relationship at such moments I felt that
Dialogue: 0,0:43:28.34,0:43:31.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Gloria and I really encountered each
Dialogue: 0,0:43:31.56,0:43:35.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,other and that in some small but I
Dialogue: 0,0:43:35.67,0:43:38.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,believe lasting way we were each of us
Dialogue: 0,0:43:38.43,0:43:42.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,enriched by the experience I'm saying
Dialogue: 0,0:43:42.69,0:43:45.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,these things almost immediately after
Dialogue: 0,0:43:45.33,0:43:47.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the conclusion of the interview and as
Dialogue: 0,0:43:47.67,0:43:50.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is characteristic of me there are not
Dialogue: 0,0:43:50.04,0:43:51.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,more than one or two statements or
Dialogue: 0,0:43:51.81,0:43:54.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,incidents which I recall from the
Dialogue: 0,0:43:54.27,0:43:56.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,interview I simply know that I was very
Dialogue: 0,0:43:56.58,0:44:01.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,much present in the relationship that I
Dialogue: 0,0:44:01.46,0:44:04.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lived it in the moment of its occurrence
Dialogue: 0,0:44:04.05,0:44:07.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I realized that after a time I may
Dialogue: 0,0:44:07.14,0:44:09.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,begin to remember it too but at the
Dialogue: 0,0:44:09.42,0:44:12.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,present time I really have a very
Dialogue: 0,0:44:12.75,0:44:15.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,nonspecific memory of the whole
Dialogue: 0,0:44:15.23,0:44:19.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,interview I'll try to look at it though
Dialogue: 0,0:44:19.92,0:44:22.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a little bit more from a intellectual
Dialogue: 0,0:44:22.68,0:44:24.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,rather than a strictly feeling point of
Dialogue: 0,0:44:24.60,0:44:28.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,view Gloria showed that I've come to
Dialogue: 0,0:44:28.17,0:44:31.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feel our characteristic elements of
Dialogue: 0,0:44:31.20,0:44:33.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,therapeutic movement in the first part
Dialogue: 0,0:44:33.93,0:44:35.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of the interview she was talking about
Dialogue: 0,0:44:35.91,0:44:36.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,her feeling
Dialogue: 0,0:44:36.95,0:44:39.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they were past feelings she was
Dialogue: 0,0:44:39.41,0:44:41.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,talking about aspects of her behavior
Dialogue: 0,0:44:41.00,0:44:44.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and of herself as if she didn't quite
Dialogue: 0,0:44:44.33,0:44:45.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,own them
Dialogue: 0,0:44:45.55,0:44:49.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she was looking outside herself for a
Dialogue: 0,0:44:49.51,0:44:52.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,center or locus of evaluation some
Dialogue: 0,0:44:52.34,0:44:57.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,source of authority she saw some of the
Dialogue: 0,0:44:57.53,0:44:59.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,things she was talking about in fairly
Dialogue: 0,0:44:59.03,0:45:03.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,black-and-white - fashion by the end of
Dialogue: 0,0:45:03.59,0:45:06.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the interview she was experiencing her
Dialogue: 0,0:45:06.50,0:45:09.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feelings in the immediate moment not
Dialogue: 0,0:45:09.08,0:45:12.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,only as evidenced by her tears but by
Dialogue: 0,0:45:12.59,0:45:16.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,her ability to express very directly and
Dialogue: 0,0:45:16.70,0:45:20.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with immediacy her feelings toward me
Dialogue: 0,0:45:20.56,0:45:23.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she was also much more aware of her
Dialogue: 0,0:45:23.83,0:45:26.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ability to make her own judgments and
Dialogue: 0,0:45:26.93,0:45:31.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,choices I guess put in terms that have
Dialogue: 0,0:45:31.85,0:45:34.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,become somewhat commonplace you could
Dialogue: 0,0:45:34.46,0:45:37.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,say that she moved from the there and
Dialogue: 0,0:45:37.31,0:45:42.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then of her life to the here and now of
Dialogue: 0,0:45:42.71,0:45:44.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,elements that she was discovering in
Dialogue: 0,0:45:44.57,0:45:47.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,herself and feelings that she was
Dialogue: 0,0:45:47.60,0:45:49.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,experiencing in the moment in her
Dialogue: 0,0:45:49.94,0:45:56.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,relationship with me all in all I feel
Dialogue: 0,0:45:56.06,0:45:59.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,good about the interview I guess I feel
Dialogue: 0,0:45:59.36,0:46:01.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,good about myself in the interview and
Dialogue: 0,0:46:01.85,0:46:05.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like Gloria I feel very real regret that
Dialogue: 0,0:46:05.27,0:46:18.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the relationship cannot continue
Dialogue: 0,0:46:18.71,0:46:26.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you
Dialogue: 0,0:46:26.04,0:46:32.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I am to interview a patient and I'd like
Dialogue: 0,0:46:32.79,0:46:34.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to give you some thumbnail sketch of
Dialogue: 0,0:46:34.80,0:46:39.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what Gestalt therapy stands for Agatha
Dialogue: 0,0:46:39.69,0:46:44.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is working on an equation awareness
Dialogue: 0,0:46:44.48,0:46:49.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,equal Pleasant time equal reality in
Dialogue: 0,0:46:49.71,0:46:52.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,contrast to depth psychology we try to
Dialogue: 0,0:46:52.02,0:46:56.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,get hold of the obvious of the surface
Dialogue: 0,0:46:56.16,0:46:58.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of the situation in which we find
Dialogue: 0,0:46:58.47,0:47:01.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ourselves and to develop the emerging to
Dialogue: 0,0:47:01.56,0:47:06.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,start strictly on the eye and thou it
Dialogue: 0,0:47:06.48,0:47:11.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,now basis any escape into the future or
Dialogue: 0,0:47:11.46,0:47:14.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the past is the exam as a likely
Dialogue: 0,0:47:14.25,0:47:20.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,resistance against the ongoing encounter
Dialogue: 0,0:47:20.49,0:47:25.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,modern man has edited even up so much of
Dialogue: 0,0:47:25.60,0:47:28.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,his potential but his ability to cope
Dialogue: 0,0:47:28.33,0:47:30.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with his existence becomes very
Dialogue: 0,0:47:30.31,0:47:35.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,impoverished my aim is this
Dialogue: 0,0:47:35.51,0:47:37.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the patient should recover his lost
Dialogue: 0,0:47:37.91,0:47:41.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,potential he should integrate the
Dialogue: 0,0:47:41.21,0:47:44.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,conflicting celeritas understand the
Dialogue: 0,0:47:44.51,0:47:46.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,difference between being playing
Dialogue: 0,0:47:46.31,0:47:49.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,especially the playing of verbal games
Dialogue: 0,0:47:49.93,0:47:54.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on the one hand and of genuine authentic
Dialogue: 0,0:47:54.02,0:47:57.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be a confident behavior on the other the
Dialogue: 0,0:47:57.86,0:48:01.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,civil war of inner conflicts weakens the
Dialogue: 0,0:48:01.61,0:48:04.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,efficiency in comfort of the patient but
Dialogue: 0,0:48:04.64,0:48:08.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,every bit of integration strength need
Dialogue: 0,0:48:08.74,0:48:11.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,now in the same emergency of the
Dialogue: 0,0:48:11.84,0:48:15.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,therapeutic saturation I repeat in the
Dialogue: 0,0:48:15.41,0:48:18.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,safe emergency of the therapeutic
Dialogue: 0,0:48:18.04,0:48:21.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,situation the patient begins to take
Dialogue: 0,0:48:21.32,0:48:25.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,risks into transforms energies from
Dialogue: 0,0:48:25.75,0:48:29.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,manipulating the environment for support
Dialogue: 0,0:48:29.17,0:48:32.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,into developing greater greater self
Dialogue: 0,0:48:32.15,0:48:35.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,support when its reliance on his own
Dialogue: 0,0:48:35.12,0:48:40.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,resources this process is called
Dialogue: 0,0:48:40.18,0:48:42.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,maturation
Dialogue: 0,0:48:42.86,0:48:45.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,once the patient has learned to stand on
Dialogue: 0,0:48:45.14,0:48:47.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,its own feet emotionally intellectually
Dialogue: 0,0:48:47.63,0:48:50.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and economically his need for therapy
Dialogue: 0,0:48:50.24,0:48:53.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,will collapse we wake up from the
Dialogue: 0,0:48:53.27,0:48:56.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,nightmare of his existence
Dialogue: 0,0:48:56.56,0:49:01.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the basic technique is this not to
Dialogue: 0,0:49:01.13,0:49:04.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,explain things to the patient but to
Dialogue: 0,0:49:04.04,0:49:06.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,provide the patient with opportunities
Dialogue: 0,0:49:06.32,0:49:11.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to understand and to discover himself
Dialogue: 0,0:49:11.11,0:49:15.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for this purpose I manipulate and fasted
Dialogue: 0,0:49:15.32,0:49:17.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the patient in such a way that he's
Dialogue: 0,0:49:17.75,0:49:21.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,confronting himself in this process he
Dialogue: 0,0:49:21.65,0:49:24.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,identifies with his lost potential for
Dialogue: 0,0:49:24.95,0:49:27.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,instance through assimilating his
Dialogue: 0,0:49:27.02,0:49:31.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,projections by acting out by acting out
Dialogue: 0,0:49:31.25,0:49:34.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the alien parts of himself instantly I
Dialogue: 0,0:49:34.85,0:49:37.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,consider any interpretation to be a
Dialogue: 0,0:49:37.76,0:49:41.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,therapeutic mistake as this one implies
Dialogue: 0,0:49:41.00,0:49:42.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that the therapist understands the
Dialogue: 0,0:49:42.98,0:49:46.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,patient paper and the patient himself
Dialogue: 0,0:49:46.18,0:49:49.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,takes away from the patient he chance of
Dialogue: 0,0:49:49.46,0:49:54.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,discovering himself by himself and
Dialogue: 0,0:49:54.85,0:49:58.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,prevents him from finding out his own
Dialogue: 0,0:49:58.22,0:50:02.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,values and style and the other hand I
Dialogue: 0,0:50:02.48,0:50:06.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,guess I got most of the content of what
Dialogue: 0,0:50:06.02,0:50:08.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the patient says and concentrate most on
Dialogue: 0,0:50:08.81,0:50:11.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the nonverbal level as this is the only
Dialogue: 0,0:50:11.30,0:50:14.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which only one which is less subject to
Dialogue: 0,0:50:14.95,0:50:18.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,self-deception in his verbal pseudo self
Dialogue: 0,0:50:18.47,0:50:21.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,expression on the nonverbal level the
Dialogue: 0,0:50:21.77,0:50:25.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,relevant is start and always emerge and
Dialogue: 0,0:50:25.79,0:50:35.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,can deadly in the here and now
Dialogue: 0,0:50:35.77,0:50:43.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we are going to interview for happened
Dialogue: 0,0:50:43.33,0:50:47.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,right away I'm scared you see you're
Dialogue: 0,0:50:47.11,0:50:49.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,scared but you're smiling I don't
Dialogue: 0,0:50:49.81,0:50:51.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,understand how it can be scared and
Dialogue: 0,0:50:51.40,0:50:55.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,smile at the same time
Dialogue: 0,0:50:55.86,0:50:58.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I'm also suspicious of you I think
Dialogue: 0,0:50:58.20,0:51:00.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you understand very well I think you
Dialogue: 0,0:51:00.00,0:51:05.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,know that when I get scared I laugh or I
Dialogue: 0,0:51:05.43,0:51:08.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kid to cover up but do you have stage 5
Dialogue: 0,0:51:08.55,0:51:13.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know I'm mostly aware of you I'm
Dialogue: 0,0:51:13.08,0:51:15.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,afraid that I'm afraid you're going to
Dialogue: 0,0:51:15.72,0:51:17.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have such a direct attack that you're
Dialogue: 0,0:51:17.67,0:51:18.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,going to get me in the corner and I'm
Dialogue: 0,0:51:18.96,0:51:20.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,afraid of it I want you to be more on
Dialogue: 0,0:51:20.31,0:51:22.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,myself I get you in your corner you put
Dialogue: 0,0:51:22.56,0:51:25.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your hand on your chest this is your
Dialogue: 0,0:51:25.80,0:51:31.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,call well it's like yeah it's like I'm
Dialogue: 0,0:51:31.38,0:51:36.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,afraid no way would you like to go can
Dialogue: 0,0:51:36.27,0:51:39.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you describe the calling like to go to
Dialogue: 0,0:51:39.53,0:51:44.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yeah it's back in corner where where I'm
Dialogue: 0,0:51:44.58,0:51:47.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,completely protected they would be safe
Dialogue: 0,0:51:47.82,0:51:51.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of me for me
Dialogue: 0,0:51:51.35,0:51:53.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,well I know I wouldn't really well in
Dialogue: 0,0:51:53.63,0:51:56.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,their chosen yeah made you in this color
Dialogue: 0,0:51:56.38,0:51:59.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're perfectly safe now but what you
Dialogue: 0,0:51:59.96,0:52:03.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,doing the girl I just said mister just
Dialogue: 0,0:52:03.02,0:52:07.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,see how long would you sit I don't know
Dialogue: 0,0:52:07.34,0:52:08.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but this is so funny as you're saying
Dialogue: 0,0:52:08.72,0:52:10.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this this reminds me of when I was a
Dialogue: 0,0:52:10.25,0:52:10.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,little girl
Dialogue: 0,0:52:10.88,0:52:12.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,every time I was afraid I feel better
Dialogue: 0,0:52:12.92,0:52:15.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sitting in a corner okay you hanneke I
Dialogue: 0,0:52:15.47,0:52:16.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,didn't get you good
Dialogue: 0,0:52:16.55,0:52:19.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,well no but it's the same feeling are
Dialogue: 0,0:52:19.28,0:52:23.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you good this feeling reminds me of it
Dialogue: 0,0:52:23.24,0:52:26.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,oh you know no not
Dialogue: 0,0:52:26.24,0:52:29.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,oh are you when you're not the little
Dialogue: 0,0:52:29.45,0:52:32.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kid yeah okay
Dialogue: 0,0:52:32.83,0:52:37.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so your thought your girl who's afraid
Dialogue: 0,0:52:37.03,0:52:40.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of a guy like I don't even know yeah I
Dialogue: 0,0:52:40.75,0:52:42.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't know I'll be afraid of you I get
Dialogue: 0,0:52:42.88,0:52:46.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,real defensive with you know what can I
Dialogue: 0,0:52:46.33,0:52:49.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do to you
Dialogue: 0,0:52:49.49,0:52:51.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can't do anything but I can sure
Dialogue: 0,0:52:51.17,0:52:53.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feel down and I can feel stupid for not
Dialogue: 0,0:52:53.03,0:52:55.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,having the right answers now what would
Dialogue: 0,0:52:55.07,0:52:57.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it do for you to be feel dumb and stupid
Dialogue: 0,0:52:57.32,0:53:00.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I hate it when I'm stupid what would it
Dialogue: 0,0:53:00.26,0:53:04.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do for you to be dumb and stupid
Dialogue: 0,0:53:04.52,0:53:07.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't put it so like this what would you
Dialogue: 0,0:53:07.55,0:53:10.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do to me if you would play dumb and
Dialogue: 0,0:53:10.34,0:53:12.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,stupid it makes you all the smarter and
Dialogue: 0,0:53:12.50,0:53:14.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all the higher above me then I really
Dialogue: 0,0:53:14.78,0:53:16.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have to look up to you because you're so
Dialogue: 0,0:53:16.04,0:53:16.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,smart
Dialogue: 0,0:53:16.52,0:53:21.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yeah but me how practically no I think
Dialogue: 0,0:53:21.50,0:53:25.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can do that all by yourself I think
Dialogue: 0,0:53:25.88,0:53:27.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the other way along if you play dumb and
Dialogue: 0,0:53:27.50,0:53:33.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,stupid you force me to be more explicit
Dialogue: 0,0:53:33.67,0:53:35.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's been said to me before but I
Dialogue: 0,0:53:35.71,0:53:37.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't buy it I don't know what I do with
Dialogue: 0,0:53:37.99,0:53:45.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your feet now wiggling joke now oh I'm
Dialogue: 0,0:53:45.43,0:53:48.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,afraid to go knows everything I do she
Dialogue: 0,0:53:48.54,0:53:51.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,told me I want you to help me become
Dialogue: 0,0:53:51.73,0:53:53.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,more relaxed yes I don't want to be so
Dialogue: 0,0:53:53.59,0:53:55.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,defensive with you I don't like to feel
Dialogue: 0,0:53:55.33,0:54:02.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so defensive
Dialogue: 0,0:54:02.67,0:54:04.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're acting like you're treating me as
Dialogue: 0,0:54:04.89,0:54:06.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if I'm stronger than I am and I want you
Dialogue: 0,0:54:06.60,0:54:09.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to protect me more and be nicer to me
Dialogue: 0,0:54:09.09,0:54:12.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are you will feel smile don't believe
Dialogue: 0,0:54:12.09,0:54:20.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about your cords sure bluff your phony
Dialogue: 0,0:54:20.93,0:54:23.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do you believe you mean it seriously
Dialogue: 0,0:54:23.21,0:54:26.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yeah if you see your faded you laugh and
Dialogue: 0,0:54:26.91,0:54:32.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you bigger than you still it's funny put
Dialogue: 0,0:54:32.04,0:54:35.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the performance for me oh I I resent
Dialogue: 0,0:54:35.04,0:54:39.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that very much explicit yes sir I most
Dialogue: 0,0:54:39.03,0:54:40.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,certainly I'm not being funny I I will
Dialogue: 0,0:54:40.92,0:54:43.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,admit this it's hard for me to show my
Dialogue: 0,0:54:43.17,0:54:44.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,embarrassment and I hate to be
Dialogue: 0,0:54:44.79,0:54:46.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,embarrassed but boy I resent you calling
Dialogue: 0,0:54:46.80,0:54:49.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,me a phony just because I smile when I'm
Dialogue: 0,0:54:49.83,0:54:51.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,embarrassed or I'm put in the corner
Dialogue: 0,0:54:51.42,0:54:53.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,doesn't mean I'm being a phony wonderful
Dialogue: 0,0:54:53.85,0:54:56.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,fiction he didn't spend for the last
Dialogue: 0,0:54:56.04,0:54:56.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,minute
Dialogue: 0,0:54:56.64,0:54:59.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,well I met you I am that's right it
Dialogue: 0,0:54:59.91,0:55:02.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,didn't have to cover up your hangovers
Dialogue: 0,0:55:02.58,0:55:05.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your smile
Dialogue: 0,0:55:05.33,0:55:08.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no in that moment in that minute you had
Dialogue: 0,0:55:08.88,0:55:11.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not therefore well at that minute I was
Dialogue: 0,0:55:11.25,0:55:13.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mad though I wasn't embarrassed
Dialogue: 0,0:55:13.20,0:55:16.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,neither to you mention of the phony I
Dialogue: 0,0:55:16.94,0:55:19.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,still resent that I'm not involved with
Dialogue: 0,0:55:19.29,0:55:22.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,him nervous again I want to get mad at
Dialogue: 0,0:55:22.53,0:55:26.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you I you know what I want you on my
Dialogue: 0,0:55:26.67,0:55:28.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,level so I can pick on you just as much
Dialogue: 0,0:55:28.86,0:55:30.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as you're picking on me
Dialogue: 0,0:55:30.09,0:55:37.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,okay pic of me
Dialogue: 0,0:55:37.10,0:55:39.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have to wait till you say something I
Dialogue: 0,0:55:39.53,0:55:41.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,can pick on better what does this mean
Dialogue: 0,0:55:41.60,0:55:44.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,can you develop this movement it's I
Dialogue: 0,0:55:44.81,0:55:48.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,can't find words I want to develop this
Dialogue: 0,0:55:48.41,0:55:55.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but if you went dancing I want to start
Dialogue: 0,0:55:55.55,0:55:56.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all over again with him
Dialogue: 0,0:55:56.51,0:55:58.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,okay that's some fun I don't Collier I'd
Dialogue: 0,0:55:58.97,0:56:00.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like to put you on I'd like to ask you a
Dialogue: 0,0:56:00.71,0:56:02.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,question and because I have a feeling
Dialogue: 0,0:56:02.57,0:56:04.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you don't like me right off the bat and
Dialogue: 0,0:56:04.04,0:56:07.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want to know if you do can you not
Dialogue: 0,0:56:07.25,0:56:09.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,play put spells not like a Gloria what
Dialogue: 0,0:56:09.95,0:56:13.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would he say he'd say that she's a phony
Dialogue: 0,0:56:13.82,0:56:17.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for one see you our food you're a phony
Dialogue: 0,0:56:17.24,0:56:21.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you're a flip little girl and your
Dialogue: 0,0:56:21.47,0:56:27.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,show-off what would look absolutely
Dialogue: 0,0:56:27.92,0:56:30.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know what I'd answer I'd say I think
Dialogue: 0,0:56:30.62,0:56:31.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you are too
Dialogue: 0,0:56:31.63,0:56:34.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you'll say tell this to me he told me
Dialogue: 0,0:56:34.34,0:56:40.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what before you got him
Dialogue: 0,0:56:40.30,0:56:43.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,secret tip for
Dialogue: 0,0:56:43.52,0:56:46.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for me I'm not quite the right word but
Dialogue: 0,0:56:46.07,0:56:49.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's more like a a show-off sure I can't
Dialogue: 0,0:56:49.79,0:56:50.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,know all the answers
Dialogue: 0,0:56:50.90,0:56:54.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yeah and I want you to be more human and
Dialogue: 0,0:56:54.17,0:56:56.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that doesn't seem very human to me no
Dialogue: 0,0:56:56.72,0:56:58.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's not about you
Dialogue: 0,0:56:58.37,0:57:00.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah right away find out how I'm kicking
Dialogue: 0,0:57:00.26,0:57:02.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my feet and why am i doing like this why
Dialogue: 0,0:57:02.45,0:57:04.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are you doing like that oh yeah I've got
Dialogue: 0,0:57:04.79,0:57:06.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,eyes I can see you're kicking your feet
Dialogue: 0,0:57:06.59,0:57:09.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't need a scientific computer to
Dialogue: 0,0:57:09.89,0:57:12.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,see that you're kicking your feet let's
Dialogue: 0,0:57:12.44,0:57:15.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,think about that I don't need to be wise
Dialogue: 0,0:57:15.92,0:57:18.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to see the chicken feet I know but it
Dialogue: 0,0:57:18.74,0:57:19.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,seems like you're trying to find some
Dialogue: 0,0:57:19.88,0:57:23.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,reason for it I don't
Dialogue: 0,0:57:23.02,0:57:26.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this year imagination okay I know what
Dialogue: 0,0:57:26.27,0:57:27.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd like from you can I tell you what
Dialogue: 0,0:57:27.44,0:57:28.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd like Sunita
Dialogue: 0,0:57:28.37,0:57:30.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd like you to be aware that I'm
Dialogue: 0,0:57:30.26,0:57:32.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kicking my feet and to be aware that I'm
Dialogue: 0,0:57:32.30,0:57:33.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,giggling when I'm really nervous and
Dialogue: 0,0:57:33.86,0:57:35.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,accept it instead of putting me on the
Dialogue: 0,0:57:35.09,0:57:37.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,defensive having to explain it I don't
Dialogue: 0,0:57:37.88,0:57:39.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,want to have to explain why I'm doing
Dialogue: 0,0:57:39.89,0:57:41.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,these things you could scream
Dialogue: 0,0:57:41.84,0:57:43.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you said why am i or what am i doing
Dialogue: 0,0:57:43.64,0:57:46.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,well what am i doing he said it's right
Dialogue: 0,0:57:46.31,0:57:48.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kicking your feet I didn't ask you to
Dialogue: 0,0:57:48.08,0:57:52.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,explain the see imagination
Dialogue: 0,0:57:52.14,0:57:54.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's not this for it is the foots of
Dialogue: 0,0:57:54.42,0:58:02.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your imagination big difference
Dialogue: 0,0:58:02.54,0:58:12.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to the circuit again you feel now
Dialogue: 0,0:58:12.57,0:58:16.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hello stupid
Dialogue: 0,0:58:16.58,0:58:21.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm not playing stupid I don't know this
Dialogue: 0,0:58:21.03,0:58:34.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is plain stupid
Dialogue: 0,0:58:34.73,0:58:36.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you get something with you here there
Dialogue: 0,0:58:36.68,0:58:38.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's very chance something my hair with
Dialogue: 0,0:58:38.99,0:58:45.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you object to know okay
Dialogue: 0,0:58:45.53,0:58:49.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no but I your your hair and your
Dialogue: 0,0:58:49.07,0:58:51.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,features go along with the feeling I had
Dialogue: 0,0:58:51.35,0:58:53.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about you earlier I had a phone I could
Dialogue: 0,0:58:53.09,0:58:56.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be afraid of you and you're the type of
Dialogue: 0,0:58:56.21,0:58:57.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,person that seems like you're Demian so
Dialogue: 0,0:58:57.71,0:59:01.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,much respect and song Europe these
Dialogue: 0,0:59:01.88,0:59:02.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,favorites
Dialogue: 0,0:59:02.57,0:59:05.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I demand so much respect okay that's
Dialogue: 0,0:59:05.15,0:59:08.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what you just saw
Dialogue: 0,0:59:08.74,0:59:11.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,well you know how smart I am I know more
Dialogue: 0,0:59:11.59,0:59:14.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about psychology than you do Gloria so
Dialogue: 0,0:59:14.02,0:59:16.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,anything I say of course is right can
Dialogue: 0,0:59:16.84,0:59:18.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you say the same is Gloria something
Dialogue: 0,0:59:18.70,0:59:22.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,similar is global but the same I guess
Dialogue: 0,0:59:22.84,0:59:24.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Chloe
Dialogue: 0,0:59:24.98,0:59:29.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I demand respect because
Dialogue: 0,0:59:29.64,0:59:32.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know
Dialogue: 0,0:59:32.32,0:59:34.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no I don't identify it with my father
Dialogue: 0,0:59:34.84,0:59:36.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but not me I don't feel like a man
Dialogue: 0,0:59:36.49,0:59:41.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,respect the man no sure I mean I think
Dialogue: 0,0:59:41.53,0:59:43.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd like more I'd like you to respect me
Dialogue: 0,0:59:43.51,0:59:47.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,more well you see so your demand respect
Dialogue: 0,0:59:47.13,0:59:50.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,alright yeah yeah so am i right if I
Dialogue: 0,0:59:50.89,0:59:56.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,click demand respect from you I would do
Dialogue: 0,0:59:56.97,1:00:03.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who's preventing you except yourself
Dialogue: 0,1:00:03.31,1:00:05.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I feel if I get myself out on
Dialogue: 0,1:00:05.08,1:00:07.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the corner here let me just drown you're
Dialogue: 0,1:00:07.96,1:00:09.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not going to help me one bit and I know
Dialogue: 0,1:00:09.34,1:00:11.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I can't quite come up to standards
Dialogue: 0,1:00:11.17,1:00:13.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with you what should i do then you're
Dialogue: 0,1:00:13.42,1:00:20.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the chrome encourage me to come out oh
Dialogue: 0,1:00:20.28,1:00:24.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we don't have enough courage to come out
Dialogue: 0,1:00:24.94,1:00:25.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by yourself
Dialogue: 0,1:00:25.84,1:00:28.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you need something for little limbs in
Dialogue: 0,1:00:28.39,1:00:31.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the stairs out of it oh yeah so anytime
Dialogue: 0,1:00:31.27,1:00:34.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you want somebody to pay attention to
Dialogue: 0,1:00:34.90,1:00:37.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you call into a corner and wait till
Dialogue: 0,1:00:37.42,1:00:40.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your car service that's exactly what I'd
Dialogue: 0,1:00:40.06,1:00:43.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like and this is what I call fun part
Dialogue: 0,1:00:43.09,1:00:45.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,knee this is for the court for me why is
Dialogue: 0,1:00:45.46,1:00:47.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it funny I'm admitting to you what I am
Dialogue: 0,1:00:47.47,1:00:49.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how is that a funny that is a phony
Dialogue: 0,1:00:49.75,1:00:52.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because it's a trick it's a gimmick the
Dialogue: 0,1:00:52.54,1:00:54.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,quality of Colin wait until somebody
Dialogue: 0,1:00:54.70,1:00:57.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,comes to us I'm admitting it I know what
Dialogue: 0,1:00:57.31,1:00:59.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm doing I'm not being funny I'm not
Dialogue: 0,1:00:59.74,1:01:03.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pretending I'm so brave I resent that I
Dialogue: 0,1:01:03.73,1:01:05.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feel like you're saying unless I come
Dialogue: 0,1:01:05.29,1:01:07.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,out openly and stand on my own I'm not a
Dialogue: 0,1:01:07.93,1:01:10.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,phony baloney I'm just just as real
Dialogue: 0,1:01:10.54,1:01:12.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sitting in that corner as I am out here
Dialogue: 0,1:01:12.16,1:01:14.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all by myself but ends up sitting in New
Dialogue: 0,1:01:14.53,1:01:22.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mexico well not now
Dialogue: 0,1:01:22.79,1:01:24.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and besides that it's like passing
Dialogue: 0,1:01:24.65,1:01:26.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,judgment when you call me phony I just
Dialogue: 0,1:01:26.09,1:01:28.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hate that anyway now we are getting
Dialogue: 0,1:01:28.19,1:01:32.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,something I call anybody phony who put
Dialogue: 0,1:01:32.84,1:01:37.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,some necked and if you like somebody you
Dialogue: 0,1:01:37.25,1:01:40.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,want to meet this person to go to this
Dialogue: 0,1:01:40.76,1:01:42.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,person tell them I would like to meet
Dialogue: 0,1:01:42.71,1:01:46.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you I would call not for me but if you
Dialogue: 0,1:01:46.22,1:01:49.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,consciously go into the corner and
Dialogue: 0,1:01:49.27,1:01:52.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,waiting to be rescued this I call for me
Dialogue: 0,1:01:52.49,1:01:54.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,here's a copy and I still think you're
Dialogue: 0,1:01:54.62,1:01:56.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,judgmental you know what I have a
Dialogue: 0,1:01:56.63,1:01:58.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feeling you've never felt this way in
Dialogue: 0,1:01:58.28,1:02:00.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your life you feel so secure that you
Dialogue: 0,1:02:00.11,1:02:01.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't have to feel anybody that does
Dialogue: 0,1:02:01.55,1:02:02.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,something like this you're gonna pass
Dialogue: 0,1:02:02.87,1:02:04.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,judgment on their being a phony while I
Dialogue: 0,1:02:04.73,1:02:07.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,resent it no play puts passing judgment
Dialogue: 0,1:02:07.67,1:02:09.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or you're sitting up there in your big
Dialogue: 0,1:02:09.95,1:02:16.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,old chair I'm the type a stretcher
Dialogue: 0,1:02:16.02,1:02:19.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how's catchman on Mila
Dialogue: 0,1:02:19.80,1:02:22.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't feel close to you at all dr.
Dialogue: 0,1:02:22.11,1:02:25.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pearls I feel that's Tony I feel like
Dialogue: 0,1:02:25.20,1:02:26.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're playing one big game
Dialogue: 0,1:02:26.70,1:02:31.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what sure it playing games but in spite
Dialogue: 0,1:02:31.35,1:02:34.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of the games I think I touch you now and
Dialogue: 0,1:02:34.44,1:02:36.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then I think I'm out you in our culture
Dialogue: 0,1:02:36.93,1:02:38.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,food of course you did
Dialogue: 0,1:02:38.61,1:02:41.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I think I hit the bull's eye that's
Dialogue: 0,1:02:41.25,1:02:45.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,why you feel hot
Dialogue: 0,1:02:45.80,1:02:47.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know all I know is when somebody
Dialogue: 0,1:02:47.69,1:02:49.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when I feel the way I feel with you
Dialogue: 0,1:02:49.07,1:02:49.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,right now
Dialogue: 0,1:02:49.61,1:02:51.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I it's like you don't have feelings
Dialogue: 0,1:02:51.89,1:02:53.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,right now
Dialogue: 0,1:02:53.18,1:02:57.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,accentuate this but you just like that's
Dialogue: 0,1:02:57.17,1:03:00.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it talk to you like I can't I can't I
Dialogue: 0,1:03:00.59,1:03:02.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,want to laugh I want to I'd like you to
Dialogue: 0,1:03:02.39,1:03:03.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be younger than me so I could really
Dialogue: 0,1:03:03.53,1:03:07.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,scold you how it must have been my h3
Dialogue: 0,1:03:07.58,1:03:10.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,good at something now imagine I know
Dialogue: 0,1:03:10.97,1:03:13.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yours could okay don't be so cocksure
Dialogue: 0,1:03:13.34,1:03:15.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yourself don't think you're so doggone
Dialogue: 0,1:03:15.80,1:03:16.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,smart
Dialogue: 0,1:03:16.31,1:03:18.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't act so proud because you've never
Dialogue: 0,1:03:18.05,1:03:19.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,been in the corner I think you can be
Dialogue: 0,1:03:19.55,1:03:21.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just as big a phony parading around like
Dialogue: 0,1:03:21.50,1:03:23.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're so damn smart you know all the
Dialogue: 0,1:03:23.72,1:03:25.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,answers as much as me sitting in my
Dialogue: 0,1:03:25.37,1:03:25.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,corner
Dialogue: 0,1:03:25.97,1:03:28.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,oh and I like the feeling with you being
Dialogue: 0,1:03:28.37,1:03:30.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,younger I'd like to really I'd like to
Dialogue: 0,1:03:30.23,1:03:31.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,embarrass you
Dialogue: 0,1:03:31.46,1:03:33.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it does when you every what you wouldn't
Dialogue: 0,1:03:33.89,1:03:37.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,get embarrassed you see my affected
Dialogue: 0,1:03:37.15,1:03:41.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bettis me how hard how ugly I am
Dialogue: 0,1:03:41.95,1:03:44.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you don't look alike when you look
Dialogue: 0,1:03:44.06,1:03:44.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,distinguished
Dialogue: 0,1:03:44.99,1:03:46.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that gives us all the more on your side
Dialogue: 0,1:03:46.91,1:03:49.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you look so distinguished then see
Dialogue: 0,1:03:49.06,1:03:52.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's more on your side too right oh
Dialogue: 0,1:03:52.16,1:03:54.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yeah can you see Swanson with quite a
Dialogue: 0,1:03:54.50,1:03:59.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,good fire no I know no that's it
Dialogue: 0,1:03:59.27,1:04:00.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't think you're fighting with me
Dialogue: 0,1:04:00.71,1:04:04.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I thought you came out quite a bit
Dialogue: 0,1:04:04.00,1:04:08.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,know how manager wonderful but you seem
Dialogue: 0,1:04:08.90,1:04:11.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so detached you don't even seem to care
Dialogue: 0,1:04:11.18,1:04:15.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I'm mad at you for not recognizing
Dialogue: 0,1:04:15.83,1:04:18.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,me at all doctor Pearl's not a bit this
Dialogue: 0,1:04:18.53,1:04:21.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is quite true our contact is much too
Dialogue: 0,1:04:21.68,1:04:24.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,superficial to be involved in cave I
Dialogue: 0,1:04:24.68,1:04:29.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,care for you as far as let's see you all
Dialogue: 0,1:04:29.51,1:04:32.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,right now my client I care for you as
Dialogue: 0,1:04:32.24,1:04:35.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,far as I'd like to like an artist in
Dialogue: 0,1:04:35.57,1:04:38.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,something hug which is hidden
Dialogue: 0,1:04:38.00,1:04:44.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this is fire care
Dialogue: 0,1:04:44.80,1:04:49.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,well I'd like you to I'd like to feel
Dialogue: 0,1:04:49.09,1:04:50.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that there's some it's frustrating if I
Dialogue: 0,1:04:50.80,1:04:52.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,were to leave you right now and not see
Dialogue: 0,1:04:52.36,1:04:53.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,again it would frustrate me to feel like
Dialogue: 0,1:04:53.89,1:04:55.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there haven't been more contact I feel
Dialogue: 0,1:04:55.27,1:04:57.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,completely out of contact with you like
Dialogue: 0,1:04:57.43,1:04:59.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm talking to the baby that doesn't
Dialogue: 0,1:04:59.11,1:05:01.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,understand me or something like that I
Dialogue: 0,1:05:01.18,1:05:02.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't feel like we're a bit in contact
Dialogue: 0,1:05:02.71,1:05:06.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that frustrates me that bothers me
Dialogue: 0,1:05:06.16,1:05:07.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,more than being angry with you I'd
Dialogue: 0,1:05:07.48,1:05:09.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,rather we were angry and fought and to
Dialogue: 0,1:05:09.88,1:05:13.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have no contact yeah this reminds me of
Dialogue: 0,1:05:13.51,1:05:15.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when my husband and I used to fight he
Dialogue: 0,1:05:15.37,1:05:17.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sits there and he listens to me but he's
Dialogue: 0,1:05:17.11,1:05:18.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not even aware of how much I hate him
Dialogue: 0,1:05:18.79,1:05:21.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and how mad I am at him I'd rather say
Dialogue: 0,1:05:21.58,1:05:23.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd love it rather affect you you didn't
Dialogue: 0,1:05:23.89,1:05:29.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,really hate me or something and I feel
Dialogue: 0,1:05:29.05,1:05:30.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like you're purposely staying out of
Dialogue: 0,1:05:30.19,1:05:33.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,contact with me how should I be
Dialogue: 0,1:05:33.69,1:05:37.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,give me a fantasy how could I share my
Dialogue: 0,1:05:37.60,1:05:40.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,concern with here
Dialogue: 0,1:05:40.82,1:05:43.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can't say in words I know the feeling
Dialogue: 0,1:05:43.61,1:05:45.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd seen on you but I can't say it's
Dialogue: 0,1:05:45.53,1:05:50.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just a feeling like I don't know it's
Dialogue: 0,1:05:50.45,1:05:52.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like I want you to respect me more as a
Dialogue: 0,1:05:52.04,1:05:54.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,human being that I've got feelings now
Dialogue: 0,1:05:54.20,1:05:56.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we come back to the beginning so you
Dialogue: 0,1:05:56.21,1:05:59.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,won't respect yes I do I do
Dialogue: 0,1:05:59.03,1:06:01.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this is a different kind of respect and
Dialogue: 0,1:06:01.04,1:06:02.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I won it the first time but you want to
Dialogue: 0,1:06:02.66,1:06:08.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,eat this yes
Dialogue: 0,1:06:08.04,1:06:10.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I respect you so much as you deem that I
Dialogue: 0,1:06:10.83,1:06:12.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,refuse to accept the phony part of
Dialogue: 0,1:06:12.90,1:06:15.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yourself and I trust myself to the
Dialogue: 0,1:06:15.69,1:06:18.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,genuine part right now the last few
Dialogue: 0,1:06:18.09,1:06:21.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,minutes we were wonderfully generally
Dialogue: 0,1:06:21.53,1:06:26.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,women playing anymore I could see you
Dialogue: 0,1:06:26.88,1:06:29.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,very good okay
Dialogue: 0,1:06:29.97,1:06:33.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,well I don't feel I've got it right when
Dialogue: 0,1:06:33.00,1:06:35.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I felt like somebody or I disagree what
Dialogue: 0,1:06:35.22,1:06:37.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,somebody's doing if if I should respect
Dialogue: 0,1:06:37.05,1:06:38.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,them if they're above me they're
Dialogue: 0,1:06:38.13,1:06:39.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,superior to me I don't feel I've got a
Dialogue: 0,1:06:39.75,1:06:41.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,right to really really tell you how mad
Dialogue: 0,1:06:41.46,1:06:44.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I am it's it's village
Dialogue: 0,1:06:44.06,1:06:46.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we're not take it to chicken you're
Dialogue: 0,1:06:46.62,1:06:49.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,taking pic to your safe corner that's
Dialogue: 0,1:06:49.62,1:06:50.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the way it feels
Dialogue: 0,1:06:50.70,1:06:52.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's what the seed corn feels like to
Dialogue: 0,1:06:52.20,1:06:55.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,me now go back to your safe crop because
Dialogue: 0,1:06:55.32,1:06:57.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we have to pop well so you steal
Dialogue: 0,1:06:57.48,1:06:59.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yourself collar you came out for a
Dialogue: 0,1:06:59.16,1:06:59.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,moment
Dialogue: 0,1:06:59.64,1:07:02.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you nearly met me could get a little bit
Dialogue: 0,1:07:02.58,1:07:03.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,angry with me
Dialogue: 0,1:07:03.54,1:07:06.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,okay for your safety I feel like you're
Dialogue: 0,1:07:06.27,1:07:08.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,telling me the only way you respect me
Dialogue: 0,1:07:08.19,1:07:10.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as a human being if I'm aggressive and
Dialogue: 0,1:07:10.05,1:07:12.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,forceful in strong yeah I thought you
Dialogue: 0,1:07:12.96,1:07:14.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,couldn't even accept mine I'd be scared
Dialogue: 0,1:07:14.52,1:07:16.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to death to cry in front of you I feel
Dialogue: 0,1:07:16.80,1:07:18.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like you'd laugh at me and call me a
Dialogue: 0,1:07:18.03,1:07:20.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,phony I feel like you don't accept my
Dialogue: 0,1:07:20.22,1:07:22.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,weak side only when I'm yelling back at
Dialogue: 0,1:07:22.11,1:07:25.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you were hollering at you you must
Dialogue: 0,1:07:25.50,1:07:28.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,define Memphis well I wouldn't even give
Dialogue: 0,1:07:28.35,1:07:32.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you the satisfaction see this again no
Dialogue: 0,1:07:32.00,1:07:35.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,see the ticket
Dialogue: 0,1:07:35.52,1:07:38.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I try not to I try not to cry in front
Dialogue: 0,1:07:38.10,1:07:39.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of you or show my weak spot for period
Dialogue: 0,1:07:39.90,1:07:40.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,jump on me again
Dialogue: 0,1:07:40.77,1:07:43.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hey that your eyes are most I'm aware
Dialogue: 0,1:07:43.83,1:07:46.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I feel more jokey yes I feel it
Dialogue: 0,1:07:46.43,1:07:51.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,could you choke me
Dialogue: 0,1:07:51.43,1:07:54.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pretend but not for real women for me
Dialogue: 0,1:07:54.15,1:07:56.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I don't hate you that much
Dialogue: 0,1:07:56.46,1:07:59.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,anyone who took my history with me to
Dialogue: 0,1:07:59.74,1:08:03.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,choke you so you would be crying I'd
Dialogue: 0,1:08:03.82,1:08:05.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like to I'd like to choke you it would
Dialogue: 0,1:08:05.65,1:08:08.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be to make you cry I'd like to see you
Dialogue: 0,1:08:08.20,1:08:11.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,weak I'd like to see you hurt and
Dialogue: 0,1:08:11.86,1:08:14.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,vulnerable
Dialogue: 0,1:08:14.88,1:08:18.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,refer to this thing for you
Dialogue: 0,1:08:18.93,1:08:21.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,make me feel like I'm I have more of a
Dialogue: 0,1:08:21.87,1:08:23.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,right to be heard you went jump on me so
Dialogue: 0,1:08:23.88,1:08:26.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,quick would you jump on me if I would
Dialogue: 0,1:08:26.85,1:08:27.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,cry
Dialogue: 0,1:08:27.42,1:08:30.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no but I would jump on you if you would
Dialogue: 0,1:08:30.27,1:08:31.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,cry
Dialogue: 0,1:08:31.43,1:08:34.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you sure this
Dialogue: 0,1:08:34.71,1:08:38.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no I'm not sure
Dialogue: 0,1:08:38.91,1:08:41.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but what would you like me to do if you
Dialogue: 0,1:08:41.61,1:08:45.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,were to cry
Dialogue: 0,1:08:45.48,1:08:48.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are you smiling you're trying something
Dialogue: 0,1:08:48.07,1:08:48.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,off
Dialogue: 0,1:08:48.55,1:08:50.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,well because I got two feelings I was
Dialogue: 0,1:08:50.20,1:08:51.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,gonna say I want you to I want you to
Dialogue: 0,1:08:51.88,1:08:53.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,love me and hug me but then I thought no
Dialogue: 0,1:08:53.74,1:08:57.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't want to what's your passion I'd
Dialogue: 0,1:08:57.19,1:09:00.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be scared to be too close to you now
Dialogue: 0,1:09:00.52,1:09:01.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we're getting somewhere
Dialogue: 0,1:09:01.57,1:09:03.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,first you want to be close to me now
Dialogue: 0,1:09:03.85,1:09:06.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your fate to be too close just what I'm
Dialogue: 0,1:09:06.94,1:09:07.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,saying
Dialogue: 0,1:09:07.33,1:09:10.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's right now we got the two ports of
Dialogue: 0,1:09:10.93,1:09:12.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,exist look they're two different
Dialogue: 0,1:09:12.43,1:09:14.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feelings close I mean emotionally but
Dialogue: 0,1:09:14.56,1:09:18.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not physically affected two ports of
Dialogue: 0,1:09:18.79,1:09:21.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,existence now I have a far away in the
Dialogue: 0,1:09:21.58,1:09:26.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,corner I'll be so close that you can
Dialogue: 0,1:09:26.50,1:09:32.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,melted to run with other person the
Dialogue: 0,1:09:32.35,1:09:39.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,penalty travel between the two extremes
Dialogue: 0,1:09:39.74,1:09:42.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I do you know what I'm thinking when I
Dialogue: 0,1:09:42.62,1:09:45.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,am really hurt and really upset about
Dialogue: 0,1:09:45.77,1:09:48.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,something and I want someone to love me
Dialogue: 0,1:09:48.05,1:09:49.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like my girlfriend will do a lot and
Dialogue: 0,1:09:49.28,1:09:51.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she'll come up to hug me I don't I don't
Dialogue: 0,1:09:51.50,1:09:56.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,want it see what I'm talking about
Dialogue: 0,1:09:56.39,1:10:01.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you cannot sustain contact
Dialogue: 0,1:10:01.99,1:10:07.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,okay this isn't damage but I think if
Dialogue: 0,1:10:07.06,1:10:08.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you hit too close to your foe and if you
Dialogue: 0,1:10:08.92,1:10:10.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,let her hug you
Dialogue: 0,1:10:10.80,1:10:13.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the only thing I'm aware of is like when
Dialogue: 0,1:10:13.27,1:10:15.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I perspire it embarrasses me that should
Dialogue: 0,1:10:15.01,1:10:17.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feel how wet I am and it should hold my
Dialogue: 0,1:10:17.65,1:10:21.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,body up close and I don't know I'll feel
Dialogue: 0,1:10:21.07,1:10:25.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,fish it's question yeah yes I am I do
Dialogue: 0,1:10:25.45,1:10:28.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this more geeky
Dialogue: 0,1:10:28.56,1:10:31.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is it itchy I can just feel what it is I
Dialogue: 0,1:10:31.60,1:10:33.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't like it you see this to me put
Dialogue: 0,1:10:33.46,1:10:39.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your icky
Dialogue: 0,1:10:39.65,1:10:41.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know
Dialogue: 0,1:10:41.94,1:10:45.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's a difficulty because I feel like
Dialogue: 0,1:10:45.09,1:10:46.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you really believe me that one hurt
Dialogue: 0,1:10:46.32,1:10:49.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your feelings oh you must love my
Dialogue: 0,1:10:49.56,1:10:53.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feelings wow I thought that was so
Dialogue: 0,1:10:53.31,1:10:55.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,indifferent sissy before that road
Dialogue: 0,1:10:55.56,1:10:57.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,nothing could touch me now you suddenly
Dialogue: 0,1:10:57.87,1:11:02.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,discovered the way to touch me isn't it
Dialogue: 0,1:11:02.18,1:11:05.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,well you know what I believe I believe
Dialogue: 0,1:11:05.16,1:11:06.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're the type of person sort of like
Dialogue: 0,1:11:06.63,1:11:08.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,really that you act like it wouldn't
Dialogue: 0,1:11:08.46,1:11:09.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hurt your feelings but it really would
Dialogue: 0,1:11:09.90,1:11:13.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Black's strong but you you're soft and
Dialogue: 0,1:11:13.05,1:11:17.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,vulnerable inside there too I think your
Dialogue: 0,1:11:17.91,1:11:21.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feelings could be hurt sure but I don't
Dialogue: 0,1:11:21.30,1:11:24.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,think you'd show it very easy look what
Dialogue: 0,1:11:24.36,1:11:28.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I do I would I could see to my feelings
Dialogue: 0,1:11:28.14,1:11:30.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I turning it back on me
Dialogue: 0,1:11:30.09,1:11:32.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think now what did you get from that
Dialogue: 0,1:11:32.82,1:11:35.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Gloria you turn the whole thing back on
Dialogue: 0,1:11:35.10,1:11:36.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,me instead of showing another jewel
Dialogue: 0,1:11:36.93,1:11:39.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,now can you see this to puts out to you
Dialogue: 0,1:11:39.33,1:11:41.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what did you get out of this face see
Dialogue: 0,1:11:41.94,1:11:44.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this to me would you get out of what but
Dialogue: 0,1:11:44.61,1:11:50.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you just see Mississippians
Dialogue: 0,1:11:50.35,1:11:52.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sure I know what you'd get out of it if
Dialogue: 0,1:11:52.55,1:11:54.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I said what did you get out of this rich
Dialogue: 0,1:11:54.02,1:11:57.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kid say nothing it didn't bother me it
Dialogue: 0,1:11:57.65,1:11:59.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was you that didn't you still wouldn't
Dialogue: 0,1:11:59.24,1:12:00.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,let me know you were hurt but I know
Dialogue: 0,1:12:00.56,1:12:01.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what it would be if you told your true
Dialogue: 0,1:12:01.97,1:12:03.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feelings but you didn't want to show
Dialogue: 0,1:12:03.50,1:12:06.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your hurt so you covered it up same way
Dialogue: 0,1:12:06.17,1:12:07.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with me in the corner
Dialogue: 0,1:12:07.19,1:12:10.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not if I well if I would cry what would
Dialogue: 0,1:12:10.16,1:12:13.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you do this
Dialogue: 0,1:12:13.45,1:12:15.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you would be you wouldn't be so superior
Dialogue: 0,1:12:15.79,1:12:18.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to me you'd be more vulnerable and I
Dialogue: 0,1:12:18.04,1:12:20.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,could pacify you and make you feel
Dialogue: 0,1:12:20.26,1:12:20.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,better
Dialogue: 0,1:12:20.74,1:12:23.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,good hard for me yes and I could be the
Dialogue: 0,1:12:23.38,1:12:27.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,babe yes yes I'd like that
Dialogue: 0,1:12:27.88,1:12:29.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he had feel more on my level I wouldn't
Dialogue: 0,1:12:29.50,1:12:32.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have to feel so done with you the other
Dialogue: 0,1:12:32.23,1:12:35.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,way Paul who would have to be my baby
Dialogue: 0,1:12:35.55,1:12:39.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she would cry we would like to pay the
Dialogue: 0,1:12:39.13,1:12:41.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,baby and be comforted in Parkton the
Dialogue: 0,1:12:41.94,1:12:46.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,poor thing every man to
Dialogue: 0,1:12:46.41,1:12:50.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,attend something came to mass closure
Dialogue: 0,1:12:50.02,1:12:52.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he came to little bit of understatement
Dialogue: 0,1:12:52.81,1:12:57.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think we finish this simple situation
Dialogue: 0,1:12:57.16,1:13:05.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,well
Dialogue: 0,1:13:05.93,1:13:09.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the demonstration was in my opinion
Dialogue: 0,1:13:09.55,1:13:12.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,quite successful and consistent with my
Dialogue: 0,1:13:12.56,1:13:15.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,theoretical outlook the avoidance of the
Dialogue: 0,1:13:15.77,1:13:18.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,genuine encounter manifested itself in
Dialogue: 0,1:13:18.35,1:13:19.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,three ways
Dialogue: 0,1:13:19.36,1:13:25.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the patient was first taking control by
Dialogue: 0,1:13:25.34,1:13:27.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,putting on a smiling sophisticated phony
Dialogue: 0,1:13:27.92,1:13:30.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mask of oscillating between the pretense
Dialogue: 0,1:13:30.56,1:13:33.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of being frightened and yet at the same
Dialogue: 0,1:13:33.11,1:13:37.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,time having me figured out that's being
Dialogue: 0,1:13:37.16,1:13:40.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or believing to be fully in control of
Dialogue: 0,1:13:40.10,1:13:44.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the situation secondly she was
Dialogue: 0,1:13:44.72,1:13:48.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,withdrawing by fantasizing of hiding in
Dialogue: 0,1:13:48.50,1:13:55.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a corner Berkeley she was blocking the
Dialogue: 0,1:13:55.76,1:13:58.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,real encounter of melting through crying
Dialogue: 0,1:13:58.69,1:14:02.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which then would have been the real
Dialogue: 0,1:14:02.06,1:14:06.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,emotional meaning of this meeting the
Dialogue: 0,1:14:06.77,1:14:08.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,patient was capable of identifying her
Dialogue: 0,1:14:08.75,1:14:11.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,surface several fantasies she had
Dialogue: 0,1:14:11.15,1:14:13.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,projected onto me she was this was
Dialogue: 0,1:14:13.79,1:14:15.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,especially evident with regard to her
Dialogue: 0,1:14:15.80,1:14:19.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,initial denial for need to be respected
Dialogue: 0,1:14:19.45,1:14:22.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the need for environmental support
Dialogue: 0,1:14:22.04,1:14:24.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,started to come out beside so need to
Dialogue: 0,1:14:24.35,1:14:25.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,get respect
Dialogue: 0,1:14:25.81,1:14:28.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it was normalized in a wish to be cared
Dialogue: 0,1:14:28.67,1:14:33.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for rescued from the corner and so on I
Dialogue: 0,1:14:33.14,1:14:36.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,broke off the session when the first
Dialogue: 0,1:14:36.02,1:14:39.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tears begin to appear she began to play
Dialogue: 0,1:14:39.62,1:14:41.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the role of a lonely child and
Dialogue: 0,1:14:41.54,1:14:43.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,apparently wanted to be hugged and
Dialogue: 0,1:14:43.37,1:14:46.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,comforted adhere to a simulation of a
Dialogue: 0,1:14:46.55,1:14:49.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,projection began to work she began to
Dialogue: 0,1:14:49.22,1:14:55.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,experience holding me like a baby
Dialogue: 0,1:14:55.60,1:14:58.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,apart from
Dialogue: 0,1:14:58.01,1:15:00.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,assisting in assimilating and some
Dialogue: 0,1:15:00.47,1:15:02.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,projections they made therapeutic factor
Dialogue: 0,1:15:02.66,1:15:05.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was to show how the inconsistency of a
Dialogue: 0,1:15:05.90,1:15:08.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,verbal and nonverbal behavior for
Dialogue: 0,1:15:08.51,1:15:11.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,instance saying that she was frightened
Dialogue: 0,1:15:11.12,1:15:14.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and smiling at the same time a
Dialogue: 0,1:15:14.29,1:15:19.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,frightening person does not smile may I
Dialogue: 0,1:15:19.88,1:15:21.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,fear it was in the direction of
Dialogue: 0,1:15:21.53,1:15:24.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,embarrassment this embarrassment was
Dialogue: 0,1:15:24.89,1:15:28.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,protected by the brazenness and anger to
Dialogue: 0,1:15:28.70,1:15:30.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,get to exist the existential
Dialogue: 0,1:15:30.77,1:15:32.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,embarrassment we would have to work
Dialogue: 0,1:15:32.60,1:15:34.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,through and eliminated the phone in this
Dialogue: 0,1:15:34.64,1:15:37.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that is the ease with which we can
Dialogue: 0,1:15:37.88,1:15:40.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,superficially assume any role that is
Dialogue: 0,1:15:40.37,1:15:42.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,required for a specific situation
Dialogue: 0,1:15:42.61,1:15:46.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this suit adaptation is her way of
Dialogue: 0,1:15:46.13,1:15:50.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,coping with life this is about what I
Dialogue: 0,1:15:50.42,1:16:00.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,got out of this session
Dialogue: 0,1:16:00.62,1:16:10.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you
Dialogue: 0,1:16:10.07,1:16:12.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,rationale therapy a rational emotive
Dialogue: 0,1:16:12.90,1:16:14.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,therapy also called
Dialogue: 0,1:16:14.46,1:16:17.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RT for short is based on several
Dialogue: 0,1:16:17.97,1:16:20.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,fundamental propositions or hypotheses
Dialogue: 0,1:16:20.73,1:16:23.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the first of these is that the past is
Dialogue: 0,1:16:23.76,1:16:26.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not crucial in a person's life
Dialogue: 0,1:16:26.82,1:16:30.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the past affects him a good deal but he
Dialogue: 0,1:16:30.69,1:16:33.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,effects himself much more than the past
Dialogue: 0,1:16:33.09,1:16:36.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,affects him because no matter what he
Dialogue: 0,1:16:36.18,1:16:39.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,has learned during his historical
Dialogue: 0,1:16:39.12,1:16:42.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,development the only reason why these
Dialogue: 0,1:16:42.39,1:16:44.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,things that have happened to him and
Dialogue: 0,1:16:44.16,1:16:46.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have been told to him affect him today
Dialogue: 0,1:16:46.95,1:16:51.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is because he is still re indoctrinating
Dialogue: 0,1:16:51.33,1:16:53.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,himself with the same philosophies of
Dialogue: 0,1:16:53.34,1:16:56.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,life the same values that he usually
Dialogue: 0,1:16:56.57,1:17:00.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,imbibed and taught himself to early in
Dialogue: 0,1:17:00.63,1:17:05.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,his childhood so we stick largely in the
Dialogue: 0,1:17:05.21,1:17:06.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,present in rational emotive
Dialogue: 0,1:17:06.99,1:17:09.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,psychotherapy rather than in the past
Dialogue: 0,1:17:09.68,1:17:13.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we believe that today the individual
Dialogue: 0,1:17:13.40,1:17:16.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,experiences negative emotions
Dialogue: 0,1:17:16.53,1:17:19.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,self-defeating behavior inefficiencies
Dialogue: 0,1:17:19.49,1:17:23.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because he now is indoctrinating himself
Dialogue: 0,1:17:23.97,1:17:27.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with what we call simple exclamatory
Dialogue: 0,1:17:27.33,1:17:31.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sentences which involve ideas human
Dialogue: 0,1:17:31.41,1:17:34.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,beings can tell themselves ideas in all
Dialogue: 0,1:17:34.56,1:17:37.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kinds of languages and pictures in sign
Dialogue: 0,1:17:37.80,1:17:40.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,languages and non verbal expression in
Dialogue: 0,1:17:40.11,1:17:42.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,man for example but they normally speak
Dialogue: 0,1:17:42.66,1:17:45.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to themselves in simple English if
Dialogue: 0,1:17:45.21,1:17:47.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,English is their native tongue and when
Dialogue: 0,1:17:47.94,1:17:50.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they talk to themselves in an irrational
Dialogue: 0,1:17:50.22,1:17:53.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or an illogical way then they create
Dialogue: 0,1:17:53.91,1:17:56.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they literally create their negative
Dialogue: 0,1:17:56.91,1:17:59.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feelings or emotions in the behavior
Dialogue: 0,1:17:59.61,1:18:03.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that follows their from now just to give
Dialogue: 0,1:18:03.42,1:18:06.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,an example the individual usually tells
Dialogue: 0,1:18:06.69,1:18:09.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,himself when he's upset first the same
Dialogue: 0,1:18:09.69,1:18:12.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sentence and then an insane that
Dialogue: 0,1:18:12.56,1:18:15.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the same sentence is something along the
Dialogue: 0,1:18:15.20,1:18:17.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,order of I don't like the thing that
Dialogue: 0,1:18:17.60,1:18:20.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've done I dislike my own behavior and
Dialogue: 0,1:18:20.75,1:18:24.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that would be fun but unfortunately he
Dialogue: 0,1:18:24.68,1:18:27.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,follows it with an insane sentence which
Dialogue: 0,1:18:27.80,1:18:31.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,says to himself and because I don't like
Dialogue: 0,1:18:31.52,1:18:34.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my behavior I am a louse I am worthless
Dialogue: 0,1:18:34.61,1:18:37.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I am a no-goodnik and this thoroughly
Dialogue: 0,1:18:37.34,1:18:40.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,insane sentence which is a sentence of
Dialogue: 0,1:18:40.67,1:18:43.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,faith unfounded on fact which has no
Dialogue: 0,1:18:43.28,1:18:45.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,empirical reference which is a kind of
Dialogue: 0,1:18:45.89,1:18:48.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,superstitious or dogmatically religious
Dialogue: 0,1:18:48.74,1:18:51.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,system creates what we call his anxiety
Dialogue: 0,1:18:51.59,1:18:53.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and through his anxieties depression his
Dialogue: 0,1:18:53.90,1:18:54.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,guilt
Dialogue: 0,1:18:54.35,1:18:57.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there's other forms of self defeatism or
Dialogue: 0,1:18:57.41,1:18:59.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,again the individual tells himself the
Dialogue: 0,1:18:59.81,1:19:03.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,same sentence I don't like your behavior
Dialogue: 0,1:19:03.41,1:19:05.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when let us say somebody's acted badly
Dialogue: 0,1:19:05.69,1:19:08.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with him and instead of following that
Dialogue: 0,1:19:08.48,1:19:11.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,up with that because I don't like your
Dialogue: 0,1:19:11.30,1:19:14.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,behavior I can still stand it and I'm
Dialogue: 0,1:19:14.60,1:19:16.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,going to try to change to get you to
Dialogue: 0,1:19:16.88,1:19:19.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,change your behavior he says I can't
Dialogue: 0,1:19:19.01,1:19:22.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,stand your behavior or in an absolute
Dialogue: 0,1:19:22.01,1:19:25.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,istic god-like grandiose manner you
Dialogue: 0,1:19:25.67,1:19:28.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,shouldn't be the way you are because I
Dialogue: 0,1:19:28.70,1:19:31.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,think that I don't like the way you are
Dialogue: 0,1:19:31.52,1:19:34.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,now it's the second B sentences which
Dialogue: 0,1:19:34.64,1:19:37.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,upset the individual or another way of
Dialogue: 0,1:19:37.31,1:19:39.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,putting it as epictetus a Roman
Dialogue: 0,1:19:39.50,1:19:41.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,philosopher said many years ago it's not
Dialogue: 0,1:19:41.72,1:19:44.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what happens to us at point-a that it
Dialogue: 0,1:19:44.06,1:19:48.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,upsets us it's be a view of what happens
Dialogue: 0,1:19:48.26,1:19:50.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to us and in rational emotive
Dialogue: 0,1:19:50.06,1:19:51.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,psychotherapy we go after this
Dialogue: 0,1:19:51.95,1:19:54.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,individual the patient's view and show
Dialogue: 0,1:19:54.56,1:19:57.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,him that whatever he thinks is upset him
Dialogue: 0,1:19:57.05,1:19:59.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,usually some external situation what
Dialogue: 0,1:19:59.42,1:20:01.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,somebody else has done it's really what
Dialogue: 0,1:20:01.67,1:20:04.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he's telling himself about this thing
Dialogue: 0,1:20:04.70,1:20:07.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this event which upsets him and although
Dialogue: 0,1:20:07.10,1:20:08.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he may never be able to do anything
Dialogue: 0,1:20:08.78,1:20:11.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about the external event at a he can
Dialogue: 0,1:20:11.85,1:20:14.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,change the internal event his sentence
Dialogue: 0,1:20:14.70,1:20:18.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is belief to himself at D now in
Dialogue: 0,1:20:18.21,1:20:19.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,rational emotive psychotherapy we try to
Dialogue: 0,1:20:19.89,1:20:22.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,show the patient three kinds of insight
Dialogue: 0,1:20:22.50,1:20:24.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and counted distinctions to some other
Dialogue: 0,1:20:24.06,1:20:26.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,therapies which usually emphasize one
Dialogue: 0,1:20:26.34,1:20:29.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,magic on the first kind we try to show
Dialogue: 0,1:20:29.19,1:20:32.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,him is that all his behaviors especially
Dialogue: 0,1:20:32.28,1:20:34.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,his negative self-defeating behavior
Dialogue: 0,1:20:34.29,1:20:36.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which we're interested which is
Dialogue: 0,1:20:36.30,1:20:39.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,upsetting him has clear-cut ideological
Dialogue: 0,1:20:39.92,1:20:42.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,antecedents he may have learnt these as
Dialogue: 0,1:20:42.36,1:20:44.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I said before in the past but right now
Dialogue: 0,1:20:44.82,1:20:47.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,today he must still believe these same
Dialogue: 0,1:20:47.30,1:20:50.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ideologies else he would not get the
Dialogue: 0,1:20:50.40,1:20:52.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,negative behavior that flows therefrom
Dialogue: 0,1:20:52.83,1:20:56.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and insight number two which is most
Dialogue: 0,1:20:56.25,1:20:58.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,important than which is unfortunately
Dialogue: 0,1:20:58.62,1:21:00.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,neglected and many other systems of
Dialogue: 0,1:21:00.27,1:21:03.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,psychotherapy is that he being as Ernst
Dialogue: 0,1:21:03.54,1:21:06.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,casera once said a symbolizing animal is
Dialogue: 0,1:21:06.53,1:21:09.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,continually re-induction aiding himself
Dialogue: 0,1:21:09.62,1:21:13.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with these ideologies and that's the
Dialogue: 0,1:21:13.56,1:21:16.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,issue that's why he's now disturbed now
Dialogue: 0,1:21:16.44,1:21:18.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in sight number three is that even when
Dialogue: 0,1:21:18.57,1:21:20.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he sees clearly what he's telling
Dialogue: 0,1:21:20.40,1:21:22.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,himself and that he's telling himself
Dialogue: 0,1:21:22.11,1:21:25.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,nonsense only by work and practice by
Dialogue: 0,1:21:25.65,1:21:28.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,continually reassessing and revaluing
Dialogue: 0,1:21:28.95,1:21:32.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,his own philosophical will he ever get
Dialogue: 0,1:21:32.82,1:21:33.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,better
Dialogue: 0,1:21:33.71,1:21:37.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,now we also stress the fact that action
Dialogue: 0,1:21:37.53,1:21:39.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is necessary to change an individual
Dialogue: 0,1:21:39.90,1:21:42.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just talking about things thinking about
Dialogue: 0,1:21:42.33,1:21:44.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,things is nice but not necessary I
Dialogue: 0,1:21:44.79,1:21:46.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,should say it's not a necessary
Dialogue: 0,1:21:46.41,1:21:48.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,condition for psychotherapeutic can
Dialogue: 0,1:21:48.69,1:21:51.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,change the change what the individual
Dialogue: 0,1:21:51.00,1:21:53.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,has to do in addition usually is act and
Dialogue: 0,1:21:53.82,1:21:56.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we therefore give him concrete homework
Dialogue: 0,1:21:56.22,1:21:59.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,assignments and get him to act these out
Dialogue: 0,1:21:59.46,1:22:01.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and check up and follow to see whether
Dialogue: 0,1:22:01.89,1:22:04.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he does these homework assignments and
Dialogue: 0,1:22:04.47,1:22:06.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,our final goal is to get the individual
Dialogue: 0,1:22:06.60,1:22:09.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to learn and learn for the rest of his
Dialogue: 0,1:22:09.09,1:22:11.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,life to challenge and question his own
Dialogue: 0,1:22:11.94,1:22:15.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,basic value system his own thinking so
Dialogue: 0,1:22:15.33,1:22:16.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that he
Dialogue: 0,1:22:16.19,1:22:18.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,really thanks for himself he must do
Dialogue: 0,1:22:18.50,1:22:20.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this particularly when he feels
Dialogue: 0,1:22:20.39,1:22:23.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,miserable he feels anxiety or depression
Dialogue: 0,1:22:23.27,1:22:26.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or guilt or too much frustration or
Dialogue: 0,1:22:26.96,1:22:28.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,anything else that is negative or when
Dialogue: 0,1:22:28.82,1:22:31.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he behaves very inefficiently and
Dialogue: 0,1:22:31.30,1:22:35.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,finally he was able through this kind of
Dialogue: 0,1:22:35.33,1:22:37.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you thinking rethinking his own
Dialogue: 0,1:22:37.46,1:22:39.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,assumptions to apply what we call the
Dialogue: 0,1:22:39.92,1:22:44.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,scientific method to the facets of human
Dialogue: 0,1:22:44.06,1:22:47.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,living and to be truly scientific in his
Dialogue: 0,1:22:47.51,1:22:49.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,behavior to question and challenge his
Dialogue: 0,1:22:49.46,1:22:51.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,own assumptions as we do in science and
Dialogue: 0,1:22:51.40,1:22:54.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,thereby to minimize or never entirely to
Dialogue: 0,1:22:54.59,1:22:58.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,eliminate the terrible anxiety and the
Dialogue: 0,1:22:58.55,1:23:01.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,atrocious hostility which unfortunately
Dialogue: 0,1:23:01.30,1:23:09.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,affects most of us in this existence
Dialogue: 0,1:23:09.92,1:23:12.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,well Gloria I'm not relevant yeah after
Dialogue: 0,1:23:12.62,1:23:17.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we hit it
Dialogue: 0,1:23:17.15,1:23:19.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,well would you like to tell me what's
Dialogue: 0,1:23:19.32,1:23:25.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,bothering you most yeah I think the
Dialogue: 0,1:23:25.47,1:23:26.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,things that I'd like to talk to you the
Dialogue: 0,1:23:26.73,1:23:28.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,most about are adjusting to my single
Dialogue: 0,1:23:28.89,1:23:36.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,life mostly men I guess America diet I
Dialogue: 0,1:23:36.57,1:23:37.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't know if I'm doing the wrong thing
Dialogue: 0,1:23:37.59,1:23:38.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I'm going to refer to your book
Dialogue: 0,1:23:38.67,1:23:40.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,anyway because this is what I'm
Dialogue: 0,1:23:40.92,1:23:42.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,impressed with this book about the
Dialogue: 0,1:23:42.09,1:23:43.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,intelligent Woman's Guide to man 9 yeah
Dialogue: 0,1:23:43.98,1:23:47.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tried to follow it and I believe in it
Dialogue: 0,1:23:47.16,1:23:48.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this is why it's so fun reading your
Dialogue: 0,1:23:48.63,1:23:49.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,book because I'm not much of a reader
Dialogue: 0,1:23:49.89,1:23:51.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I sort of believe the same way you
Dialogue: 0,1:23:51.93,1:23:52.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do
Dialogue: 0,1:23:52.38,1:23:54.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but then I've got a problem is there
Dialogue: 0,1:23:54.18,1:23:58.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,healthy men that I do I'm attracted to
Dialogue: 0,1:23:58.89,1:24:00.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or the type of man I'd like to become
Dialogue: 0,1:24:00.72,1:24:03.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,closely as always I can't seem to meet
Dialogue: 0,1:24:03.42,1:24:05.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or I get to shower with or something
Dialogue: 0,1:24:05.58,1:24:06.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I don't
Dialogue: 0,1:24:06.65,1:24:09.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it just doesn't click the men I seem to
Dialogue: 0,1:24:09.09,1:24:10.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be dating nowadays are the ones that I
Dialogue: 0,1:24:10.62,1:24:12.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't respect much the ones I don't
Dialogue: 0,1:24:12.09,1:24:13.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,enjoy much the same blip and
Dialogue: 0,1:24:13.91,1:24:16.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,uninteresting and I don't know if it's
Dialogue: 0,1:24:16.71,1:24:18.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,something about me or what because I
Dialogue: 0,1:24:18.24,1:24:19.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,really do want to meet this kind of man
Dialogue: 0,1:24:19.94,1:24:22.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,well let's talk a little about your
Dialogue: 0,1:24:22.08,1:24:24.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,shyness let's suppose you meet somebody
Dialogue: 0,1:24:24.00,1:24:26.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who you consider eligible but you might
Dialogue: 0,1:24:26.94,1:24:29.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,walk now let's see if we can get at the
Dialogue: 0,1:24:29.25,1:24:31.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,source of your shyness just what you're
Dialogue: 0,1:24:31.41,1:24:33.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,telling yourself to create this you meet
Dialogue: 0,1:24:33.72,1:24:36.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this man and you feel shy and Bharath
Dialogue: 0,1:24:36.53,1:24:39.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yes but I don't usually show that I
Dialogue: 0,1:24:39.09,1:24:41.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,usually act slip right back yeah I act
Dialogue: 0,1:24:41.94,1:24:43.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like the other man act to me of America
Dialogue: 0,1:24:43.50,1:24:44.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kayak flip
Dialogue: 0,1:24:44.40,1:24:46.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't seem near as intelligent I act
Dialogue: 0,1:24:46.83,1:24:51.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like a typical dumb blonde I'm just I'm
Dialogue: 0,1:24:51.24,1:24:53.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just not myself with him I'm more on a
Dialogue: 0,1:24:53.01,1:24:56.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tease yes well as you probably know from
Dialogue: 0,1:24:56.28,1:24:59.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,x-man hunting I believe that people only
Dialogue: 0,1:24:59.22,1:24:59.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,get
Dialogue: 0,1:24:59.94,1:25:01.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,emotions such as negative emotions of
Dialogue: 0,1:25:01.86,1:25:04.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,shyness embarrassment shame because they
Dialogue: 0,1:25:04.65,1:25:06.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tell themselves something in simple
Dialogue: 0,1:25:06.63,1:25:08.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,explanatory sentences now let's try to
Dialogue: 0,1:25:08.61,1:25:10.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,find out what you're telling yourself
Dialogue: 0,1:25:10.38,1:25:13.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're meeting this individual now what
Dialogue: 0,1:25:13.11,1:25:15.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do you think your sink is up before you
Dialogue: 0,1:25:15.12,1:25:17.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,get I didn't know what it is that I'm
Dialogue: 0,1:25:17.13,1:25:19.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not I don't stand up to his expectations
Dialogue: 0,1:25:19.38,1:25:21.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm not quite enough for him he's
Dialogue: 0,1:25:21.36,1:25:23.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,superior to me although I want this type
Dialogue: 0,1:25:23.67,1:25:24.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of man I'm afraid
Dialogue: 0,1:25:24.52,1:25:26.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I won't have enough to attract him well
Dialogue: 0,1:25:26.23,1:25:27.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's the first part of the sentence
Dialogue: 0,1:25:27.64,1:25:29.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that might be a true one because maybe
Dialogue: 0,1:25:29.35,1:25:31.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he could be spirit to you in some ways
Dialogue: 0,1:25:31.96,1:25:33.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,maybe he wouldn't be attracted to you
Dialogue: 0,1:25:33.64,1:25:35.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but that would never upset you if you
Dialogue: 0,1:25:35.08,1:25:37.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,were only saying that I think he may be
Dialogue: 0,1:25:37.48,1:25:38.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,superior to me now you're adding a
Dialogue: 0,1:25:38.98,1:25:42.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,second sentence to that which is if this
Dialogue: 0,1:25:42.01,1:25:45.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is so that would be awful
Dialogue: 0,1:25:45.16,1:25:46.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,well not quite so extreme as that
Dialogue: 0,1:25:46.75,1:25:48.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I thought about that too it
Dialogue: 0,1:25:48.10,1:25:50.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,usually I've missed my chance again
Dialogue: 0,1:25:50.23,1:25:52.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because when I want to become I want to
Dialogue: 0,1:25:52.96,1:25:54.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,show the very best of myself because I
Dialogue: 0,1:25:54.46,1:25:56.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,think I have self-confidence and I have
Dialogue: 0,1:25:56.11,1:25:58.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,enough to offer when I get afraid like
Dialogue: 0,1:25:58.21,1:26:00.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that then I show all the bad qualities i
Dialogue: 0,1:26:00.25,1:26:05.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ĂŹm flip on then I'm so much on the
Dialogue: 0,1:26:05.08,1:26:06.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,defensive that I can't show my good
Dialogue: 0,1:26:06.82,1:26:08.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,qualities and it's like I miss my chance
Dialogue: 0,1:26:08.65,1:26:10.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,again there was a good opportunity to be
Dialogue: 0,1:26:10.30,1:26:11.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,close to this man and I Loused it up
Dialogue: 0,1:26:11.83,1:26:13.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,again all right but even let's suppose
Dialogue: 0,1:26:13.66,1:26:15.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're saying that and I think you're
Dialogue: 0,1:26:15.10,1:26:16.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,really off but you must be saying
Dialogue: 0,1:26:16.21,1:26:17.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,something else too because if you were
Dialogue: 0,1:26:17.53,1:26:19.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just saying hell I missed my chance
Dialogue: 0,1:26:19.81,1:26:22.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,again you'd say all right next time I'll
Dialogue: 0,1:26:22.99,1:26:24.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,take advantage of what I learned this
Dialogue: 0,1:26:24.46,1:26:26.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,time and do it a little better now you
Dialogue: 0,1:26:26.11,1:26:28.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,still must be saying if you feel shame
Dialogue: 0,1:26:28.72,1:26:30.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,embarrassment shine there's something
Dialogue: 0,1:26:30.88,1:26:34.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pretty bad about your error in missing
Dialogue: 0,1:26:34.00,1:26:37.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your chance again I don't know if this
Dialogue: 0,1:26:37.48,1:26:39.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,follows in contact what you're saying
Dialogue: 0,1:26:39.01,1:26:41.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but the thing I do feel is that I get
Dialogue: 0,1:26:41.80,1:26:43.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,suspicious then am I the type of woman
Dialogue: 0,1:26:43.42,1:26:45.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that will only appeal to the ones that
Dialogue: 0,1:26:45.28,1:26:47.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are
Dialogue: 0,1:26:47.08,1:26:49.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not my type of guy anyway is there
Dialogue: 0,1:26:49.57,1:26:51.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,something wrong with me am I never going
Dialogue: 0,1:26:51.46,1:26:53.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to find the kind of man I enjoy I always
Dialogue: 0,1:26:53.56,1:26:55.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,seem to get the other one all right now
Dialogue: 0,1:26:55.81,1:26:56.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're getting closer to what I'm
Dialogue: 0,1:26:56.86,1:26:57.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,talking about because you're really
Dialogue: 0,1:26:57.73,1:27:01.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,saying if I am this type of woman that
Dialogue: 0,1:27:01.63,1:27:04.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,none of these good eligible males are
Dialogue: 0,1:27:04.12,1:27:06.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,going to appeal to then that would be
Dialogue: 0,1:27:06.22,1:27:08.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,awful I never get what I want and that
Dialogue: 0,1:27:08.29,1:27:10.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would really be something frightful
Dialogue: 0,1:27:10.99,1:27:13.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't like thinking of myself that way
Dialogue: 0,1:27:13.12,1:27:14.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want to put myself on a higher
Dialogue: 0,1:27:14.29,1:27:15.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,standard I don't like to think that I
Dialogue: 0,1:27:15.91,1:27:18.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,may be just an average Jane Doe so let's
Dialogue: 0,1:27:18.31,1:27:20.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just suppose for the second argument at
Dialogue: 0,1:27:20.35,1:27:22.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the moment that that were sir that you
Dialogue: 0,1:27:22.36,1:27:24.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,were an average Jane Doe now would that
Dialogue: 0,1:27:24.64,1:27:27.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be so terrible would be inconvenient it
Dialogue: 0,1:27:27.94,1:27:29.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would be unpleasant you wouldn't want it
Dialogue: 0,1:27:29.74,1:27:32.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but would you get an emotion like
Dialogue: 0,1:27:32.62,1:27:35.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,shyness embarrassment shame out of just
Dialogue: 0,1:27:35.47,1:27:38.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,believing that maybe I'm going to end up
Dialogue: 0,1:27:38.02,1:27:41.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like Jane Doe I don't know I don't think
Dialogue: 0,1:27:41.56,1:27:42.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it could because you still would have to
Dialogue: 0,1:27:42.97,1:27:44.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be saying on some level as I think
Dialogue: 0,1:27:44.89,1:27:47.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you've just said and it would be very
Dialogue: 0,1:27:47.17,1:27:49.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,bad it would be terrible I would be a
Dialogue: 0,1:27:49.66,1:27:52.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no-goodnik if I would just watch it I
Dialogue: 0,1:27:52.27,1:27:54.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't never get what I want if I were
Dialogue: 0,1:27:54.70,1:27:56.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just a Jane Doe and I thought I have to
Dialogue: 0,1:27:56.11,1:27:57.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,accept it I'd never get what I want and
Dialogue: 0,1:27:57.73,1:27:58.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't want to live the rest of my life
Dialogue: 0,1:27:58.75,1:28:01.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with just kicking in well why not
Dialogue: 0,1:28:01.05,1:28:03.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,necessarily so you've never you really
Dialogue: 0,1:28:03.07,1:28:04.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mean your chances would be reduced
Dialogue: 0,1:28:04.33,1:28:06.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because we know some icky girls who get
Dialogue: 0,1:28:06.94,1:28:09.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,some splendid men don't yeah if they say
Dialogue: 0,1:28:09.82,1:28:11.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're generalizing there you're saying
Dialogue: 0,1:28:11.26,1:28:14.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it probably would be that I'd have a
Dialogue: 0,1:28:14.11,1:28:15.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,more difficult time but then you're
Dialogue: 0,1:28:15.82,1:28:18.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,jumping to therefore I'd never get at
Dialogue: 0,1:28:18.22,1:28:20.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all you ain't a catastrophizing there
Dialogue: 0,1:28:20.32,1:28:22.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you jump to yes but it feels that
Dialogue: 0,1:28:22.33,1:28:23.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,way to me at the time it seems like
Dialogue: 0,1:28:23.71,1:28:26.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,forever that's right but isn't that a
Dialogue: 0,1:28:26.02,1:28:28.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,vote of non-confidence in you an
Dialogue: 0,1:28:28.27,1:28:30.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,essential vote of non-confidence and the
Dialogue: 0,1:28:30.94,1:28:32.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,non-confidence is because you're saying
Dialogue: 0,1:28:32.95,1:28:35.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one I don't want to miss out on I think
Dialogue: 0,1:28:35.02,1:28:36.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would like to get the kind of a man I
Dialogue: 0,1:28:36.70,1:28:40.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,want and be a in your word superior kind
Dialogue: 0,1:28:40.60,1:28:42.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of girl who gets a superior kind of man
Dialogue: 0,1:28:42.43,1:28:46.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yes but if I don't then I'm practically
Dialogue: 0,1:28:46.84,1:28:48.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on the other side of the chain
Dialogue: 0,1:28:48.88,1:28:51.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,completely a no-goodnik somebody will
Dialogue: 0,1:28:51.40,1:28:52.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,never
Dialogue: 0,1:28:52.37,1:28:54.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,anything that I want which is quite an
Dialogue: 0,1:28:54.05,1:28:58.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,extreme away isn't it yes and that's
Dialogue: 0,1:28:58.22,1:28:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what I call catastrophizing taking a
Dialogue: 0,1:28:59.99,1:29:01.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,true statement and there is a good deal
Dialogue: 0,1:29:01.67,1:29:03.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,truth what you're saying if you didn't
Dialogue: 0,1:29:03.89,1:29:05.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,get the kind of a man you watch it that
Dialogue: 0,1:29:05.39,1:29:07.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it would be inconvenient annoying
Dialogue: 0,1:29:07.25,1:29:09.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,frustrating which it really would be and
Dialogue: 0,1:29:09.68,1:29:12.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then saying I'd never possibly get what
Dialogue: 0,1:29:12.02,1:29:13.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want and even beyond that you're
Dialogue: 0,1:29:13.94,1:29:15.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,really saying and then I couldn't be a
Dialogue: 0,1:29:15.29,1:29:16.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,happy human being aren't you really
Dialogue: 0,1:29:16.79,1:29:19.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,saying that but let's just look at that
Dialogue: 0,1:29:19.13,1:29:20.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,let's just assume the worst the
Dialogue: 0,1:29:20.54,1:29:22.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,spiritual Russell once said years ago
Dialogue: 0,1:29:22.30,1:29:24.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,assume the worst that you never got at
Dialogue: 0,1:29:24.86,1:29:26.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all for whatever the reasons may be the
Dialogue: 0,1:29:26.60,1:29:28.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kind of a man you want look at all the
Dialogue: 0,1:29:28.52,1:29:29.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,other things you could do in life to be
Dialogue: 0,1:29:29.90,1:29:34.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,happy well I don't like the whole
Dialogue: 0,1:29:34.25,1:29:35.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,process I don't even like if I'm going
Dialogue: 0,1:29:35.78,1:29:39.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,through it I don't all right even if it
Dialogue: 0,1:29:39.05,1:29:40.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wasn't a catastrophe yeah even if I
Dialogue: 0,1:29:40.88,1:29:42.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,didn't look at it as a catastrophe I
Dialogue: 0,1:29:42.38,1:29:43.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't like the way I'm living right now
Dialogue: 0,1:29:43.82,1:29:46.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for example when I meet somebody that
Dialogue: 0,1:29:46.07,1:29:47.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm interested in that could have some
Dialogue: 0,1:29:47.21,1:29:49.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,potential by the way I find I'm not near
Dialogue: 0,1:29:49.58,1:29:52.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as relaxed with him I worry more should
Dialogue: 0,1:29:52.22,1:29:53.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I be friendly should I kiss him
Dialogue: 0,1:29:53.27,1:29:54.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,goodnight should I do this if it's just
Dialogue: 0,1:29:54.92,1:29:56.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a Joe doe and I don't give it on I can
Dialogue: 0,1:29:56.48,1:29:58.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be anything I want to be I turn out to
Dialogue: 0,1:29:58.52,1:30:00.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be more of a person when I'm not as
Dialogue: 0,1:30:00.26,1:30:02.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,concerned I don't like the way I'm up
Dialogue: 0,1:30:02.54,1:30:05.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,well I would you're not you're not
Dialogue: 0,1:30:05.06,1:30:06.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,really concerned you're over concerned
Dialogue: 0,1:30:06.71,1:30:08.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're anxious because you were just
Dialogue: 0,1:30:08.12,1:30:09.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,concerned you do your best you'd be
Dialogue: 0,1:30:09.68,1:30:10.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,saying yourself
Dialogue: 0,1:30:10.37,1:30:13.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if I succeed great if I don't succeed
Dialogue: 0,1:30:13.16,1:30:15.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,top right now I won't get what I want
Dialogue: 0,1:30:15.53,1:30:17.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but you're over consider actions you're
Dialogue: 0,1:30:17.66,1:30:19.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,really saying again that's what you said
Dialogue: 0,1:30:19.73,1:30:21.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a moment ago if I don't get what I want
Dialogue: 0,1:30:21.56,1:30:23.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,right now I'll never get it and that
Dialogue: 0,1:30:23.78,1:30:25.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would be so awful that I've got to get
Dialogue: 0,1:30:25.70,1:30:27.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it right now that causes the anxiety
Dialogue: 0,1:30:27.32,1:30:29.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,doesn't it yes or else work toward it
Dialogue: 0,1:30:29.90,1:30:32.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yes but if I don't get it right now
Dialogue: 0,1:30:32.21,1:30:33.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's alright but I want to feel like
Dialogue: 0,1:30:33.29,1:30:35.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm working toward it yes that you want
Dialogue: 0,1:30:35.66,1:30:37.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a guarantee I hear my trained ears hear
Dialogue: 0,1:30:37.85,1:30:39.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you saying I would like a guarantee of
Dialogue: 0,1:30:39.56,1:30:42.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,working towards there are none sir well
Dialogue: 0,1:30:42.17,1:30:43.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no dr. house
Dialogue: 0,1:30:43.61,1:30:44.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know why I'm coming out that way
Dialogue: 0,1:30:44.90,1:30:47.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what I really mean is I want a step
Dialogue: 0,1:30:47.00,1:30:48.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,toward working toward it
Dialogue: 0,1:30:48.32,1:30:51.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,well I bother you I don't know I thought
Dialogue: 0,1:30:51.32,1:30:53.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,well what I was hoping is whatever this
Dialogue: 0,1:30:53.84,1:30:55.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,isn't me why I don't seem to be
Dialogue: 0,1:30:55.70,1:30:57.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,attracting these coming and why seem on
Dialogue: 0,1:30:57.32,1:31:00.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the defensive why I seem more afraid you
Dialogue: 0,1:31:00.86,1:31:02.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,could help me when it is I'm afraid of
Dialogue: 0,1:31:02.48,1:31:04.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I won't do it so much well my
Dialogue: 0,1:31:04.16,1:31:06.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hypothesis is so far that what you're
Dialogue: 0,1:31:06.17,1:31:09.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,afraid of is not just family with this
Dialogue: 0,1:31:09.35,1:31:11.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,individual man which is really the only
Dialogue: 0,1:31:11.15,1:31:12.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,thing at issue when you go out with a
Dialogue: 0,1:31:12.77,1:31:14.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,new and we're talking about eligible
Dialogue: 0,1:31:14.45,1:31:16.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,males I will rule out the ineligible one
Dialogue: 0,1:31:16.82,1:31:19.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're not just afraid that you'll miss
Dialogue: 0,1:31:19.10,1:31:19.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this one
Dialogue: 0,1:31:19.94,1:31:22.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're afraid that you'll miss this one
Dialogue: 0,1:31:22.25,1:31:24.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and therefore you miss every other and
Dialogue: 0,1:31:24.44,1:31:26.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,therefore you prove that you are really
Dialogue: 0,1:31:26.78,1:31:28.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not up to getting what you want and
Dialogue: 0,1:31:28.94,1:31:32.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wouldn't that be awful you're bringing
Dialogue: 0,1:31:32.00,1:31:34.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in these catastrophe you sound more
Dialogue: 0,1:31:34.28,1:31:36.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,strong in it but that's similar I feel
Dialogue: 0,1:31:36.32,1:31:38.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like this is Cecilia if I keep this up
Dialogue: 0,1:31:38.66,1:31:40.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I think I'm doing there's
Dialogue: 0,1:31:40.73,1:31:42.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,something I'm doing that to be as real a
Dialogue: 0,1:31:42.02,1:31:43.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,person with these men that I'm
Dialogue: 0,1:31:43.10,1:31:44.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,interested as write your defeating your
Dialogue: 0,1:31:44.78,1:31:46.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,own ends but I've done it again if I
Dialogue: 0,1:31:46.85,1:31:48.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,weren't so doggone anxious about trying
Dialogue: 0,1:31:48.47,1:31:50.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to hook this guy I could be more real
Dialogue: 0,1:31:50.09,1:31:51.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he's going to enjoy me more if I'm real
Dialogue: 0,1:31:51.80,1:31:54.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,anyway so I'm only giving him the stinky
Dialogue: 0,1:31:54.17,1:31:55.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,part of me right how can anybody I
Dialogue: 0,1:31:55.97,1:31:57.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,respect respect it's a church and that's
Dialogue: 0,1:31:57.83,1:31:59.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what I am when I don't really come
Dialogue: 0,1:31:59.12,1:32:01.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,through but look how you just devalued
Dialogue: 0,1:32:01.40,1:32:02.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yourself let's just suppose in sake of
Dialogue: 0,1:32:02.84,1:32:04.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,argument you kept giving the stinky part
Dialogue: 0,1:32:04.88,1:32:07.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of you a human being another person
Dialogue: 0,1:32:07.40,1:32:08.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who's trying to get interest in you
Dialogue: 0,1:32:08.87,1:32:11.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,might not like these attributes these
Dialogue: 0,1:32:11.75,1:32:13.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,characteristics of you but I don't think
Dialogue: 0,1:32:13.73,1:32:16.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he's going to despise you as a person
Dialogue: 0,1:32:16.64,1:32:18.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who's you are really doing I don't I'm
Dialogue: 0,1:32:18.83,1:32:20.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,writer on myself and I think that's
Dialogue: 0,1:32:20.24,1:32:22.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,exactly of course like me there's not
Dialogue: 0,1:32:22.16,1:32:24.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,enough to me right and I say before if
Dialogue: 0,1:32:24.47,1:32:26.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,people just didn't like you when you
Dialogue: 0,1:32:26.21,1:32:27.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,went through enough of lemon it would be
Dialogue: 0,1:32:27.77,1:32:29.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hard to go through enough that it would
Dialogue: 0,1:32:29.15,1:32:31.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be possible you'd eventually find one
Dialogue: 0,1:32:31.31,1:32:33.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who did like you and whom you like but
Dialogue: 0,1:32:33.08,1:32:34.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as long as you devalue yourself
Dialogue: 0,1:32:34.40,1:32:36.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,personally in your own eyes you
Dialogue: 0,1:32:36.64,1:32:38.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,complicate the problem enormous ly and
Dialogue: 0,1:32:38.96,1:32:41.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're not focusing on how can I be
Dialogue: 0,1:32:41.24,1:32:42.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,myself
Dialogue: 0,1:32:42.23,1:32:44.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,change the traits if you for example
Dialogue: 0,1:32:44.47,1:32:48.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hedy let us just say a mangled arm and
Dialogue: 0,1:32:48.59,1:32:51.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you wouldn't accept your whole person
Dialogue: 0,1:32:51.21,1:32:54.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,being because of this mangled arm then
Dialogue: 0,1:32:54.24,1:32:56.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you would focus so much on that mangled
Dialogue: 0,1:32:56.07,1:32:57.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,arm that you wouldn't be able to do
Dialogue: 0,1:32:57.33,1:32:58.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,things that you wouldn't otherwise be
Dialogue: 0,1:32:58.77,1:33:01.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,able to do it's almost what I did yes
Dialogue: 0,1:33:01.11,1:33:03.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yes you say that's exactly so you taking
Dialogue: 0,1:33:03.21,1:33:06.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a part of you an arm and focusing almost
Dialogue: 0,1:33:06.24,1:33:08.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,completely on that in just to bring it
Dialogue: 0,1:33:08.37,1:33:11.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,down to our own conversation taking a
Dialogue: 0,1:33:11.04,1:33:13.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,part of you your shyness you're not
Dialogue: 0,1:33:13.65,1:33:15.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,being yourself with males and focusing
Dialogue: 0,1:33:15.42,1:33:17.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so much on that part that you're almost
Dialogue: 0,1:33:17.34,1:33:19.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,making not at the whole of you and you
Dialogue: 0,1:33:19.68,1:33:22.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,get an awful picture of your total self
Dialogue: 0,1:33:22.32,1:33:24.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because of this defective part and we're
Dialogue: 0,1:33:24.57,1:33:26.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,assuming you and I didn't is effective
Dialogue: 0,1:33:26.46,1:33:27.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we're not glossing opens they know
Dialogue: 0,1:33:27.90,1:33:29.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're doing alright you're not doing
Dialogue: 0,1:33:29.67,1:33:31.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that well right now you can accept
Dialogue: 0,1:33:31.92,1:33:34.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yourself for the time being with this
Dialogue: 0,1:33:34.80,1:33:37.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,defective part with these attributes and
Dialogue: 0,1:33:37.29,1:33:39.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not beat yourself over the head as I see
Dialogue: 0,1:33:39.39,1:33:41.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of you definitely in doing then it
Dialogue: 0,1:33:41.43,1:33:43.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,becomes a relatively simple problem to
Dialogue: 0,1:33:43.56,1:33:46.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,work and practice to work and practice
Dialogue: 0,1:33:46.01,1:33:49.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,against this negative attribute in other
Dialogue: 0,1:33:49.02,1:33:50.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,words let's get back to that now how to
Dialogue: 0,1:33:50.94,1:33:52.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be yourself let's just suppose for the
Dialogue: 0,1:33:52.95,1:33:54.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,moment that you really were fully
Dialogue: 0,1:33:54.27,1:33:56.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,accepting yourself with your failings
Dialogue: 0,1:33:56.01,1:33:57.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,alright you know you're going to go how
Dialogue: 0,1:33:57.99,1:33:59.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know you're gonna screw up with the
Dialogue: 0,1:33:59.79,1:34:01.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,next man man after that an old
Dialogue: 0,1:34:01.92,1:34:03.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,probability but you're saying alright I
Dialogue: 0,1:34:03.33,1:34:04.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have to go through a learning process
Dialogue: 0,1:34:04.74,1:34:06.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's too bad I won't be very good
Dialogue: 0,1:34:06.81,1:34:09.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,during this while but I'll do it just as
Dialogue: 0,1:34:09.33,1:34:11.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would add ice skating where I have to
Dialogue: 0,1:34:11.07,1:34:13.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,fall on my neck for a few times before I
Dialogue: 0,1:34:13.23,1:34:15.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,learned to ice skate okay now let's
Dialogue: 0,1:34:15.06,1:34:17.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,suppose that man if that was so you were
Dialogue: 0,1:34:17.37,1:34:20.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,really accepting you you go out take the
Dialogue: 0,1:34:20.40,1:34:23.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,risks of being you because after all if
Dialogue: 0,1:34:23.04,1:34:25.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you do in one of these then you have to
Dialogue: 0,1:34:25.08,1:34:27.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be yourself you're not winning them for
Dialogue: 0,1:34:27.09,1:34:28.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a day you're not winning them for a fair
Dialogue: 0,1:34:28.68,1:34:30.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I assume you want to marry one of these
Dialogue: 0,1:34:30.66,1:34:33.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,individuals eventually and be
Dialogue: 0,1:34:33.38,1:34:35.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,relationship I don't think so yeah he
Dialogue: 0,1:34:35.37,1:34:36.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,reaches along alright a long
Dialogue: 0,1:34:36.48,1:34:38.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,relationship in the course of which you
Dialogue: 0,1:34:38.04,1:34:39.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,couldn't ask so we don't want to give
Dialogue: 0,1:34:39.69,1:34:41.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you something I think well that he'll
Dialogue: 0,1:34:41.91,1:34:43.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,later find that was a role playing good
Dialogue: 0,1:34:43.86,1:34:45.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,thing so you have to eventually be
Dialogue: 0,1:34:45.75,1:34:48.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yourself now if you really weren't so
Dialogue: 0,1:34:48.69,1:34:51.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,disturbed about these present current
Dialogue: 0,1:34:51.45,1:34:53.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,failings views you could go out and be
Dialogue: 0,1:34:53.76,1:34:56.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this self of yours ask yourself what do
Dialogue: 0,1:34:56.46,1:34:58.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I really want to do with
Dialogue: 0,1:34:58.39,1:35:01.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,man to help and join him and have him
Dialogue: 0,1:35:01.39,1:35:03.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,help and join me because that's the
Dialogue: 0,1:35:03.10,1:35:05.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,basic function of life enjoyment which
Dialogue: 0,1:35:05.38,1:35:08.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we can't lose and you force yourself to
Dialogue: 0,1:35:08.29,1:35:10.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,take the risk of being back because if
Dialogue: 0,1:35:10.99,1:35:12.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you succeeded great
Dialogue: 0,1:35:12.82,1:35:15.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you fail too bad either you not for
Dialogue: 0,1:35:15.64,1:35:17.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,him or he may even not be for you
Dialogue: 0,1:35:17.38,1:35:19.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because don't forget you said before
Dialogue: 0,1:35:19.03,1:35:20.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when these men are projecting you assume
Dialogue: 0,1:35:20.80,1:35:23.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,right away it must be my doing a my
Dialogue: 0,1:35:23.17,1:35:25.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,fault you know they may not be your cup
Dialogue: 0,1:35:25.63,1:35:27.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of tea and you may not be their cup of
Dialogue: 0,1:35:27.82,1:35:30.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tea and it's nobody's fault it's just
Dialogue: 0,1:35:30.43,1:35:32.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,true incompatible with it yes you say
Dialogue: 0,1:35:32.71,1:35:35.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yes so if you would really accept
Dialogue: 0,1:35:35.35,1:35:37.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yourself as you are and then force
Dialogue: 0,1:35:37.54,1:35:39.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yourself as if you were one of my
Dialogue: 0,1:35:39.58,1:35:41.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,regular patients I would give you this
Dialogue: 0,1:35:41.14,1:35:43.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,homework assignments and then check up
Dialogue: 0,1:35:43.33,1:35:45.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on you to see whether you can force
Dialogue: 0,1:35:45.07,1:35:47.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yourself to open your big mouth and be
Dialogue: 0,1:35:47.77,1:35:51.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you for a while even though it hurt with
Dialogue: 0,1:35:51.25,1:35:54.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,these nails you would find the a you
Dialogue: 0,1:35:54.40,1:35:56.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would start being yourself and gradually
Dialogue: 0,1:35:56.83,1:35:58.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,laughing off these inefficiencies which
Dialogue: 0,1:35:58.78,1:36:00.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,incidentally are the result of not being
Dialogue: 0,1:36:00.97,1:36:03.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you but watching yourself from the
Dialogue: 0,1:36:03.07,1:36:05.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,outside while you trying to be you which
Dialogue: 0,1:36:05.62,1:36:07.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is almost impossible because you can't
Dialogue: 0,1:36:07.33,1:36:09.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,spy on yourself and still be yourself
Dialogue: 0,1:36:09.82,1:36:12.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,very well at the same time no but it
Dialogue: 0,1:36:12.46,1:36:14.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would become like a habit after a while
Dialogue: 0,1:36:14.92,1:36:17.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you took the risks and force yourself
Dialogue: 0,1:36:17.26,1:36:20.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to as I said open your big mouth and
Dialogue: 0,1:36:20.08,1:36:22.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even though you thought maybe it'll come
Dialogue: 0,1:36:22.27,1:36:24.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,out badly maybe he won't like me maybe
Dialogue: 0,1:36:24.61,1:36:26.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll lose him complete me and so on and
Dialogue: 0,1:36:26.86,1:36:30.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so forth then you start swinging in the
Dialogue: 0,1:36:30.49,1:36:33.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,groove and being what you want to be and
Dialogue: 0,1:36:33.55,1:36:35.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would almost guarantee that you'd
Dialogue: 0,1:36:35.50,1:36:37.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,become more practice than less
Dialogue: 0,1:36:37.45,1:36:39.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,inefficient especially in terms of the
Dialogue: 0,1:36:39.52,1:36:41.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,shyness because you wouldn't be focusing
Dialogue: 0,1:36:41.68,1:36:43.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on oh my god isn't this awful how bad I
Dialogue: 0,1:36:43.33,1:36:46.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,am you would be focusing on what a place
Dialogue: 0,1:36:46.36,1:36:49.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,individual this is and how can I enjoy
Dialogue: 0,1:36:49.42,1:36:52.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,him which is the oh the focus well you
Dialogue: 0,1:36:52.90,1:36:54.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,see my relationship
Dialogue: 0,1:36:54.06,1:36:56.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,other way how can I be more attractive
Dialogue: 0,1:36:56.07,1:36:57.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to him and how can he be pleased by me
Dialogue: 0,1:36:57.99,1:37:01.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because underneath if I am NOT then I
Dialogue: 0,1:37:01.47,1:37:04.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,cannot enjoy myself I refuse to accept
Dialogue: 0,1:37:04.26,1:37:07.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,myself unless I attract and win this
Dialogue: 0,1:37:07.98,1:37:09.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,good individual isn't that what you
Dialogue: 0,1:37:09.75,1:37:11.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,basically yes and I even go further dr.
Dialogue: 0,1:37:11.64,1:37:14.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,must win when there is one of these men
Dialogue: 0,1:37:14.07,1:37:17.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I come in contact with and I find that I
Dialogue: 0,1:37:17.19,1:37:18.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,want it called a bit more of a
Dialogue: 0,1:37:18.30,1:37:20.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,relationship well if he accepts me I'm
Dialogue: 0,1:37:20.07,1:37:21.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,going along pretty great I find myself
Dialogue: 0,1:37:21.90,1:37:24.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,constantly on the defensive honestly
Dialogue: 0,1:37:24.45,1:37:26.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,watching the way I see it not drinking
Dialogue: 0,1:37:26.22,1:37:27.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,too much the whole time instead of just
Dialogue: 0,1:37:27.90,1:37:29.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,relaxing a single eater like Mary
Dialogue: 0,1:37:29.52,1:37:31.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,doesn't supposed in psychotherapy you're
Dialogue: 0,1:37:31.41,1:37:32.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,giving a very good illustration of why
Dialogue: 0,1:37:32.91,1:37:36.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,other directors this is business other
Dialogue: 0,1:37:36.03,1:37:38.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,directors it doesn't pay because if you
Dialogue: 0,1:37:38.16,1:37:40.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,really are defining yourself in terms of
Dialogue: 0,1:37:40.89,1:37:42.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,others estimation of you then even when
Dialogue: 0,1:37:42.81,1:37:43.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're ahead of the game and you're
Dialogue: 0,1:37:43.83,1:37:45.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,winning them you have to be saved
Dialogue: 0,1:37:45.42,1:37:46.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yourself will I win them today will I
Dialogue: 0,1:37:46.89,1:37:48.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,win them tomorrow will I keep winning
Dialogue: 0,1:37:48.42,1:37:50.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,them and you're always focused on am i
Dialogue: 0,1:37:50.64,1:37:53.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,doing the thing to please him and you
Dialogue: 0,1:37:53.10,1:37:55.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,never are yourself you never have itself
Dialogue: 0,1:37:55.74,1:37:58.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,while if you're saying what do I want to
Dialogue: 0,1:37:58.56,1:38:00.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do in life there must be some human
Dialogue: 0,1:38:00.78,1:38:03.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,beings who would like me the way I am
Dialogue: 0,1:38:03.33,1:38:05.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,let's see if this is one of those human
Dialogue: 0,1:38:05.85,1:38:08.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,beings then that's the only way isn't it
Dialogue: 0,1:38:08.64,1:38:11.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you can be you see you know we
Dialogue: 0,1:38:11.07,1:38:12.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,haven't got too much car now so let's
Dialogue: 0,1:38:12.81,1:38:15.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,try to get it off on a constructive
Dialogue: 0,1:38:15.39,1:38:17.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,notice more concretely what you can do
Dialogue: 0,1:38:17.28,1:38:19.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you asked before where you can go how
Dialogue: 0,1:38:19.71,1:38:22.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can meet new people I'd say that I
Dialogue: 0,1:38:22.65,1:38:24.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't know this particular area but it's
Dialogue: 0,1:38:24.63,1:38:27.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,almost any place if you could do what we
Dialogue: 0,1:38:27.36,1:38:29.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are talking about really take risks and
Dialogue: 0,1:38:29.22,1:38:31.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,focus on what you want out of life and
Dialogue: 0,1:38:31.46,1:38:34.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on the fact that it's going to take time
Dialogue: 0,1:38:34.08,1:38:36.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which unfortunately it does and then
Dialogue: 0,1:38:36.18,1:38:38.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's not awful and you are not awful
Dialogue: 0,1:38:38.10,1:38:40.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,while it's taking that time then you can
Dialogue: 0,1:38:40.62,1:38:43.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,leave yourself open unsure lead to all
Dialogue: 0,1:38:43.56,1:38:45.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kinds of new and counselors and these
Dialogue: 0,1:38:45.87,1:38:48.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,encounters can take place on buses while
Dialogue: 0,1:38:48.99,1:38:50.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,waiting for a streetcar
Dialogue: 0,1:38:50.82,1:38:52.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they have streetcars in this area at
Dialogue: 0,1:38:52.77,1:38:55.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,cocktail parties anywhere you can talk
Dialogue: 0,1:38:55.47,1:38:58.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to people who look eligible you can ask
Dialogue: 0,1:38:58.23,1:39:00.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your friends to get you eligible but
Dialogue: 0,1:39:00.33,1:39:01.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,males
Dialogue: 0,1:39:01.47,1:39:04.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but the main thing is that you have to
Dialogue: 0,1:39:04.02,1:39:07.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pay like yourself while you're not doing
Dialogue: 0,1:39:07.74,1:39:12.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,badly and be not be intolerance against
Dialogue: 0,1:39:12.24,1:39:14.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,conditions which are bad and I'm
Dialogue: 0,1:39:14.76,1:39:17.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,agreeing with you that they are now as I
Dialogue: 0,1:39:17.22,1:39:18.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,said I would give you if your aphasia
Dialogue: 0,1:39:18.72,1:39:20.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mind the homework assignment of
Dialogue: 0,1:39:20.48,1:39:23.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,deliberately very deliberately going out
Dialogue: 0,1:39:23.82,1:39:25.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and getting yourself into trouble in
Dialogue: 0,1:39:25.74,1:39:27.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,other words taking the most eligible
Dialogue: 0,1:39:27.81,1:39:30.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,males you can find at the moment and
Dialogue: 0,1:39:30.62,1:39:33.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,forcing yourself risking yourself to be
Dialogue: 0,1:39:33.69,1:39:36.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you are you saying even if it were like
Dialogue: 0,1:39:36.63,1:39:38.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if I went into a doctor's office to
Dialogue: 0,1:39:38.43,1:39:40.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,start a conversation with him because he
Dialogue: 0,1:39:40.11,1:39:42.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was attractive to me or he appealed to
Dialogue: 0,1:39:42.33,1:39:44.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,me right if I go so far as to starting
Dialogue: 0,1:39:44.31,1:39:45.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,out a conversation with him personally
Dialogue: 0,1:39:45.72,1:39:49.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and why not it is an eligible individual
Dialogue: 0,1:39:49.23,1:39:51.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,any kind of an eligible individual I
Dialogue: 0,1:39:51.24,1:39:52.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,know you accept that but that seems
Dialogue: 0,1:39:52.83,1:39:55.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,awfully brazen I symbol X suppose it is
Dialogue: 0,1:39:55.59,1:39:57.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,brazen what have you got to lose the
Dialogue: 0,1:39:57.12,1:39:59.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,worst he can do is reject you and you
Dialogue: 0,1:39:59.13,1:40:01.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't have to reject you if you were
Dialogue: 0,1:40:01.56,1:40:03.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,thinking along the lines that we've been
Dialogue: 0,1:40:03.03,1:40:06.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,25 minutes a second so yeah now can you
Dialogue: 0,1:40:06.48,1:40:09.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,try to do that I think I think so in
Dialogue: 0,1:40:09.96,1:40:11.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,order to give me a spurt to go out and
Dialogue: 0,1:40:11.88,1:40:13.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,see you're right that's all I can do is
Dialogue: 0,1:40:13.65,1:40:16.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be rejected right and that needs you
Dialogue: 0,1:40:16.68,1:40:19.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,intact it just leaves you unfortunately
Dialogue: 0,1:40:19.71,1:40:21.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not for the moment getting what you want
Dialogue: 0,1:40:21.50,1:40:24.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so you try to go anywhere in red and
Dialogue: 0,1:40:24.30,1:40:26.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll be very interested in finding out
Dialogue: 0,1:40:26.73,1:40:29.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what happened oh I'm excited and father
Dialogue: 0,1:40:29.25,1:40:31.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,well it was certainly very nice meeting
Dialogue: 0,1:40:31.26,1:40:35.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you for thank you doctor
Dialogue: 0,1:40:35.75,1:40:40.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I enjoyed talking with this interesting
Dialogue: 0,1:40:40.64,1:40:43.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I think highly courageous patient
Dialogue: 0,1:40:43.31,1:40:46.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and thought that it gave a the session
Dialogue: 0,1:40:46.55,1:40:48.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,gave a pretty good illustration of a
Dialogue: 0,1:40:48.59,1:40:50.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,fairly typical session of rational
Dialogue: 0,1:40:50.42,1:40:53.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,emotive psychotherapy how was it typical
Dialogue: 0,1:40:53.30,1:40:57.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in several ways in the first place I was
Dialogue: 0,1:40:57.23,1:41:01.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,able rather rapidly and quickly to get
Dialogue: 0,1:41:01.28,1:41:02.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to some of what I think are the
Dialogue: 0,1:41:02.66,1:41:04.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,philosophic cores of the patient's
Dialogue: 0,1:41:04.67,1:41:07.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,disturbances to show her that the reason
Dialogue: 0,1:41:07.40,1:41:11.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she is feeling shy and the shame frayed
Dialogue: 0,1:41:11.90,1:41:15.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in this instance is because even though
Dialogue: 0,1:41:15.56,1:41:18.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,partially unwittingly she is defining
Dialogue: 0,1:41:18.53,1:41:20.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,herself in a very negative way or
Dialogue: 0,1:41:20.86,1:41:23.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,devaluing herself by blaming herself too
Dialogue: 0,1:41:23.69,1:41:26.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,much for imperfect behavior because
Dialogue: 0,1:41:26.74,1:41:29.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,perfectionism is the root of most human
Dialogue: 0,1:41:29.39,1:41:31.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,evils and she was showing some fairly
Dialogue: 0,1:41:31.91,1:41:35.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,typical perfectionistic notions so very
Dialogue: 0,1:41:35.12,1:41:37.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,quickly as is usually done in rational
Dialogue: 0,1:41:37.01,1:41:39.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,emotive psychotherapy we skip some of
Dialogue: 0,1:41:39.62,1:41:42.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the asides we skip going back into the
Dialogue: 0,1:41:42.11,1:41:43.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,history of some of the psycho analysts
Dialogue: 0,1:41:43.97,1:41:47.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do and we skip some of the transference
Dialogue: 0,1:41:47.42,1:41:50.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,relations between us and the patient and
Dialogue: 0,1:41:50.63,1:41:53.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we skip some of the nonverbal expression
Dialogue: 0,1:41:53.93,1:41:55.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not that we think these things are quite
Dialogue: 0,1:41:55.97,1:41:57.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,unimportant that we think there are
Dialogue: 0,1:41:57.65,1:42:00.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,relatively little relevance to the basic
Dialogue: 0,1:42:00.41,1:42:02.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,core of the patient's disturbance which
Dialogue: 0,1:42:02.39,1:42:05.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is her philosophy of life typically
Dialogue: 0,1:42:05.12,1:42:07.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,again this patient showed both anxiety
Dialogue: 0,1:42:07.55,1:42:10.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and low frustration tolerance which most
Dialogue: 0,1:42:10.85,1:42:12.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,patients showed and these were
Dialogue: 0,1:42:12.56,1:42:16.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,intertwined and again very usually she
Dialogue: 0,1:42:16.55,1:42:18.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was then beating herself over the head
Dialogue: 0,1:42:18.65,1:42:20.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,blaming herself condemning herself for
Dialogue: 0,1:42:20.57,1:42:25.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feeling these kinds of feelings now she
Dialogue: 0,1:42:25.22,1:42:27.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,did not see very clearly at least I
Dialogue: 0,1:42:27.44,1:42:28.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,thought so at the beginning of the
Dialogue: 0,1:42:28.43,1:42:31.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,session exactly what the claritin
Dialogue: 0,1:42:31.49,1:42:33.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sentences and exclamatory sentences she
Dialogue: 0,1:42:33.53,1:42:35.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was telling herself to create these
Dialogue: 0,1:42:35.78,1:42:37.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feelings and I endeavoured to show her
Dialogue: 0,1:42:37.96,1:42:40.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,some of these sentences and what could
Dialogue: 0,1:42:40.82,1:42:42.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be done about it
Dialogue: 0,1:42:42.92,1:42:44.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,among other things I also though briefly
Dialogue: 0,1:42:44.81,1:42:47.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because this is just one brief session
Dialogue: 0,1:42:47.06,1:42:49.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tried to give her a homework assignment
Dialogue: 0,1:42:49.31,1:42:51.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you could go and get her teeth into
Dialogue: 0,1:42:51.38,1:42:54.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and actively try to do 2d propagandize
Dialogue: 0,1:42:54.95,1:42:57.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,herself by going out and taking risks
Dialogue: 0,1:42:57.56,1:42:59.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which normally up to now she hadn't been
Dialogue: 0,1:42:59.51,1:43:02.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,taking that much of it's interesting to
Dialogue: 0,1:43:02.36,1:43:03.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,note that again quite typically in this
Dialogue: 0,1:43:03.95,1:43:06.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,session although I was attacking fairly
Dialogue: 0,1:43:06.05,1:43:07.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,vigorously the patient's attitudes or
Dialogue: 0,1:43:07.91,1:43:10.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,philosophies she did not feel an attack
Dialogue: 0,1:43:10.85,1:43:13.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on her she felt that I was supporting
Dialogue: 0,1:43:13.31,1:43:16.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,her anything and she ended up I thought
Dialogue: 0,1:43:16.10,1:43:18.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,rather optimistically feeling that I had
Dialogue: 0,1:43:18.02,1:43:20.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,given her several ideas of what she
Dialogue: 0,1:43:20.24,1:43:23.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,could do in the future again rather
Dialogue: 0,1:43:23.09,1:43:25.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,typically in this session I kept
Dialogue: 0,1:43:25.75,1:43:28.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,persuading the patients and attacking
Dialogue: 0,1:43:28.79,1:43:31.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,her ideas and showing her that her
Dialogue: 0,1:43:31.28,1:43:34.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,philosophy of life not only was such and
Dialogue: 0,1:43:34.67,1:43:36.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,such but that if she stuck to this kind
Dialogue: 0,1:43:36.86,1:43:38.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of philosophy she had to get negative
Dialogue: 0,1:43:38.60,1:43:41.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and self-defeating results from it and
Dialogue: 0,1:43:41.66,1:43:45.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then I kept persistently going on even
Dialogue: 0,1:43:45.92,1:43:48.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,though a time she became defensive and
Dialogue: 0,1:43:48.14,1:43:50.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wasn't quite accepting by any means what
Dialogue: 0,1:43:50.33,1:43:51.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was saying
Dialogue: 0,1:43:51.65,1:43:54.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't let this bother me but kept
Dialogue: 0,1:43:54.83,1:43:58.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,going on against her basic core system
Dialogue: 0,1:43:58.34,1:44:00.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,her value system because this is again
Dialogue: 0,1:44:00.77,1:44:03.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what bothers patients that they give up
Dialogue: 0,1:44:03.02,1:44:05.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,very easily on attacking their own
Dialogue: 0,1:44:05.30,1:44:07.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,negative evaluations of themselves and
Dialogue: 0,1:44:07.25,1:44:10.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,therefore they persist forever now the
Dialogue: 0,1:44:10.22,1:44:11.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,world limitations of course especially
Dialogue: 0,1:44:11.99,1:44:14.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in terms of time through the session and
Dialogue: 0,1:44:14.93,1:44:17.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,these limitations did have some effect
Dialogue: 0,1:44:17.60,1:44:19.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for example it wasn't a not enough time
Dialogue: 0,1:44:19.79,1:44:21.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for repetition in several sessions I
Dialogue: 0,1:44:21.86,1:44:23.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would have gone over much of the same
Dialogue: 0,1:44:23.84,1:44:25.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,material until I was sure that hadn't
Dialogue: 0,1:44:25.73,1:44:27.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sunk in then I would have had time to
Dialogue: 0,1:44:27.65,1:44:30.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,get feedback from the patient to see
Dialogue: 0,1:44:30.17,1:44:32.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whether she really understood in action
Dialogue: 0,1:44:32.27,1:44:33.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in particular what I was talking about
Dialogue: 0,1:44:33.65,1:44:35.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and whether she was following it up or
Dialogue: 0,1:44:35.42,1:44:38.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,leading herself up some other diverting
Dialogue: 0,1:44:38.09,1:44:41.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pathway which people can do there was no
Dialogue: 0,1:44:41.21,1:44:43.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,time to emphasize that she would have to
Dialogue: 0,1:44:43.37,1:44:46.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,continually reassess her evaluations of
Dialogue: 0,1:44:46.85,1:44:48.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,herself and her general philosophies and
Dialogue: 0,1:44:48.65,1:44:52.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do rethinking for the rest of the life
Dialogue: 0,1:44:52.01,1:44:53.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,time to show the patient very much that
Dialogue: 0,1:44:53.87,1:44:55.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even during this session in relation to
Dialogue: 0,1:44:55.67,1:44:57.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,me and what she was saying about herself
Dialogue: 0,1:44:57.53,1:44:59.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that she was displaying her bad
Dialogue: 0,1:44:59.84,1:45:03.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,attitudes toward herself and finally
Dialogue: 0,1:45:03.02,1:45:04.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there was no occasion because this was
Dialogue: 0,1:45:04.79,1:45:07.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,an individual session to see how she
Dialogue: 0,1:45:07.97,1:45:10.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,related specifically to other non
Dialogue: 0,1:45:10.25,1:45:12.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,therapists so she would in group therapy
Dialogue: 0,1:45:12.14,1:45:14.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and in the midst of this group situation
Dialogue: 0,1:45:14.96,1:45:16.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to show her exactly what was going on
Dialogue: 0,1:45:16.76,1:45:19.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and what she could do about it but I do
Dialogue: 0,1:45:19.37,1:45:22.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feel hope hopeful about the session and
Dialogue: 0,1:45:22.72,1:45:25.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,think that perhaps I was able to at
Dialogue: 0,1:45:25.19,1:45:27.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,least to give the patient a few ideas
Dialogue: 0,1:45:27.65,1:45:29.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which he could then go out and work on
Dialogue: 0,1:45:29.60,1:45:32.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on her own because unless patients do
Dialogue: 0,1:45:32.42,1:45:34.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,work themselves with the material that
Dialogue: 0,1:45:34.85,1:45:37.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we therapists give them in psychotherapy
Dialogue: 0,1:45:37.45,1:45:40.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,nothing eventually happens it isn't any
Dialogue: 0,1:45:40.16,1:45:42.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,magic that we have for them but we can
Dialogue: 0,1:45:42.23,1:45:45.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,give them certain catalytic ideas and
Dialogue: 0,1:45:45.29,1:45:47.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,influences which then if they work and
Dialogue: 0,1:45:47.66,1:45:49.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,practice at work and practice that will
Dialogue: 0,1:45:49.97,1:45:54.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do them good for the rest of their lives