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[This talk contains graphic content.
Viewer discretion is advised.]

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This is Nina Rodríguez's Facebook profile.

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This person had three different profiles

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and 890 kids between 8 and 13 years old
among her friends list.

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These are excerpts of a chat
with one of those kids.

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This is an exact copy of the chat.

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It's part of the case file.

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This kid started sending private photos

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until his family realized
what was going on.

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The police report and subsequent
investigation lead them to a house.

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This was the girl's bedroom.

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Nina Rodríguez was actually
a 24-year-old man

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that used to do this with lots of kids.

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Micaela Ortega was 12 years old

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when she went to meet
her new Facebook friend,

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also 12.

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"Rochi de River," was her name.

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She actually met Jonathan Luna,
who was 26 years old.

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When they finally caught him,

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he confessed that he killed the girl
because she refused to have sex with him.

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He had four Facebook profiles

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and 1,700 women on his contact list;

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90 percent of them
were under 13 years old.

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These are two different
cases of "grooming":

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an adult contacts a kid
through the internet,

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and through manipulation or lying,
leads that kid into sexual territory --

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from talking about sex

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to sharing private photos,

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recording the kid using a webcam

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or arranging an in-person meeting.

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This is grooming.

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This is happening, and it's on the rise.

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The question is: What are we going to do?

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Because, in the meantime, kids are alone.

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They finish dinner, go to their rooms,

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close the door,

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get on their computer, their cell phones,

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and get into a bar,

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into a club.

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Think for one second
about what I've just said:

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they're in a place full of strangers

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in an uninhibited environment.

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The internet broke physical boundaries.

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When we're alone in our bedroom
and we go online,

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we're not really alone.

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There are at least two reasons
why we're not taking care of this,

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or at least not in the right way.

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First, we're sure that everything
that happens online is "virtual."

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In fact, we call it "the virtual world."

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If you look it up in the dictionary,

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something virtual is something
that seems to exist

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but is not real.

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And we use that word
to talk about the internet:

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something not real.

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And that's the problem with grooming.

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It is real.

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Degenerate, perverted adults
use the internet to abuse boys and girls

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and take advantage of, among other things,

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the fact that the kids and their parents
think that what happens online

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doesn't actually happen.

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Several years ago,
some colleagues and I founded an NGO

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called "Argentina Cibersegura,"

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dedicated to raising awareness
about online safety.

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In 2013, we attended meetings
at the House of Legislature

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to discuss a law about grooming.

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I remember that a lot of people thought

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that grooming was strictly a precursor

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to arranging an in-person meeting
with a kid to have sex with them.

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But they didn't think about what happened
to the kids who were exposed

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by talking about sex
with an adult without knowing it,

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or who shared intimate photos thinking
only another kid would see them,

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or even worse,

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who had exposed themselves
using their web cam.

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Nobody considered that rape.

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I'm sure lots of you find it odd to think
one person can abuse another

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without physical contact.

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We're programmed to think that way.

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I know, because I used to think that way.

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I was just an IT security guy

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until this happened to me.

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At the end of 2011,

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in a little town in Buenos Aires Province,

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I heard about a case for the first time.

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After giving a talk,

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I met the parents of an 11-year-old girl
who had been a victim of grooming.

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A man had manipulated her
into masturbating in front of her web cam,

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and recorded it.

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And the video was on several websites.

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That day, her parents asked us, in tears,

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to tell them the magic formula

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for how to delete those videos
from the internet.

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It broke my heart and changed me forever

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to be their last disappointment,
telling them it was too late:

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once content is online,

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we've already lost control.

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Since that day, I think about that girl

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waking up in the morning,
having breakfast with her family,

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who had seen the video,

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and then walking to school, meeting
people that had seen her naked,

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arriving to school, playing with
her friends, who had also seen her.

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That was her life.

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Exposed.

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Of course, nobody raped her body.

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But hadn't her sexuality been abused?

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We clearly use different standards
to measure physical and digital things.

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And we get angry at social networks

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because being angry with ourselves
is more painful and more true.

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And this brings us
to the second reason why

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we aren't paying proper
attention to this issue.

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We're convinced that kids
don't need our help,

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that they "know everything"
about technology.

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When I was a kid,

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at one point, my parents started
letting me walk to school alone.

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After years of taking me by the hand
and walking me to school,

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one day they sat me down,

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gave me the house keys

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and said, "Be very careful with these;
don't give them to anyone,

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take the route we showed you,
be at home at the time we said,

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cross at the corner,
and look both ways before you cross,

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and no matter what,
don't talk to strangers."

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I knew everything about walking,

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and yet, there was a responsible adult
there taking care of me.

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Knowing how to do something is one thing,

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knowing how to take care
of yourself is another.

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Imagine this situation:

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I'm 10 or 11 years old,
I wake up in the morning,

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my parents toss me the keys and say,

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"Seba, now you can walk to school alone."

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And when I come back late,

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they say, "No, you need to be home
at the time we said."

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And two weeks later,

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when it comes up,
they say, "You know what?

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You have to cross at the corner,
and look both ways before crossing."

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And two years later, they say,

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"And also, don't talk to strangers."

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It sounds absurd, right?

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We have the same absurd behavior
in relation to technology.

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We give kids total access

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and we see if one day, sooner or later,

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they learn how to take care of themselves.

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Knowing how to do something is one thing,

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knowing how to take care
of yourself is another.

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Along those same lines,
when we talk to parents,

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they often say they don't care
about technology and social networks.

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I always rejoin that by asking
if they care about their kids.

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As adults, being interested
or not in technology

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is the same as being interested
or not in our kids.

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The internet is part of their lives.

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Technology forces us to rethink
the relationship between adults and kids.

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Education was always based
on two main concepts:

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experience and knowledge.

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How do we teach our kids to be safe online
when we don't have either?

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Nowadays, we adults
have to guide our children

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through what is often for us
unfamiliar territory --

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territory much more inviting for them.

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It's impossible to find an answer

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without doing new things --
things that make us uncomfortable,

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things we're not used to.

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A lot of you may think it's easy for me,

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because I'm relatively young.

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And it used to be that way.

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Used to.

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Until last year,

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when I felt the weight
of my age on my shoulders

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the first time I opened Snapchat.

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(Laughter)

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(Applause)

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I didn't understand a thing!

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I found it unnecessary,

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useless, hard to understand;

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it looked like a camera!

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It didn't have menu options!

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It was the first time I felt the gap

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that sometimes exists
between kids and adults.

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But it was also an opportunity
to do the right thing,

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to leave my comfort zone, to force myself.

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I never thought I'd ever use Snapchat,

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but then I asked my teenage cousin
to show me how to use it.

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I also asked why she used it.

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What was fun about it?

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We had a really nice talk.

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She showed me her Snapchat,
she told me things,

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we got closer, we laughed.

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Today, I use it.

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(Laughter)

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I don't know if I do it right,

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but the most important thing
is that I know it and I understand it.

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The key was to overcome the initial shock

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and do something new.

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Something new.

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Today, we have the chance
to create new conversations.

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What's the last app you downloaded?

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Which social network do you use
to contact your friends?

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What kind of information do you share?

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Have you ever been
approached by strangers?

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Could we have these conversations
between kids and adults?

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We have to force ourselves
to do it. All of us.

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Today, lots of kids are listening to us.

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Sometimes when we go
to schools to give our talks,

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or through social networks,

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kids ask or tell us things

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they haven't told
their parents or their teachers.

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They tell us -- they don't even know us.

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Those kids need to know

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what the risks of being online are,

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how to take care of themselves,

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but also that, fundamentally,
as with almost everything else,

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kids can learn this from any adult.

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Online safety needs to be
a conversation topic

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in every house and every
classroom in the country.

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We did a survey this year that showed
that 15 percent of schools said

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they knew of cases of grooming
in their school.

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And this number is growing.

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Technology changed
every aspect of our life,

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including the risks we face

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and how we take care of ourselves.

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Grooming shows us this
in the most painful way:

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by involving our kids.

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Are we going to do something
to avoid this?

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The solution starts
with something as easy as:

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talking about it.

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Thank you.

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(Applause)