0:00:12.977,0:00:14.547
One summer evening,

0:00:15.090,0:00:19.640
my eighteen-year-old son Jimmy[br]said he wanted to talk.

0:00:19.640,0:00:26.088
So, after my wife Joan and I got his three[br]much younger siblings tucked in

0:00:26.088,0:00:28.407
and read their bedtime stories,

0:00:29.047,0:00:31.827
Joan and I sat down in our bedroom.

0:00:32.430,0:00:37.002
Jimmy came in and closed[br]the door behind him.

0:00:38.349,0:00:41.931
And he sat down on a chair across[br]from the bed where we were sitting,

0:00:41.931,0:00:44.890
and says, "Mom and Dad,[br]I have something important to tell you,

0:00:44.890,0:00:49.775
and it's not a problem, it's not[br]a bad thing, it's just different."

0:00:50.158,0:00:52.026
We said, "Okay."

0:00:53.450,0:00:59.415
And he looked at us in earnest,[br]and he said, "I'm gay."

0:01:01.292,0:01:04.674
So, after a few seconds[br]of deafening silence,

0:01:05.484,0:01:11.177
Joan takes a deep breath and says,[br]"Jimmy, we will love whoever you love."

0:01:13.382,0:01:16.024
That was about 12 years ago[br]when he came out to us,

0:01:16.024,0:01:18.405
and I'll have to admit that, at the time,

0:01:18.405,0:01:21.445
Joan and I did think[br]this could be a problem,

0:01:21.445,0:01:23.973
for his safety, even.

0:01:23.973,0:01:28.494
And as his father, I had this feeling[br]that, somehow, I had failed him,

0:01:28.494,0:01:33.537
and maybe, because of that, he wouldn't[br]have a chance to have kids of his own.

0:01:34.344,0:01:36.315
So, I'm a cardiologist,

0:01:36.315,0:01:41.764
and I like to imagine the world through[br]the eyes of a hunter-gatherer ancestor

0:01:41.764,0:01:44.743
for clues about how to thrive[br]in the modern world,

0:01:45.415,0:01:48.456
but, viewed in the light of evolution,

0:01:48.456,0:01:52.245
homosexuality seems to be a real[br]self-defeating non-productive strategy.

0:01:52.245,0:01:55.814
I mean, gays have 80% fewer kids[br]than heterosexuals.

0:01:55.814,0:01:58.734
This is a trait that ought to go extinct[br]in a few generations,

0:01:58.734,0:02:01.217
but down through recorded history,

0:02:01.217,0:02:04.495
in every culture,[br]and many animal species as well,

0:02:04.495,0:02:08.476
homosexuality's been a small,[br]but distinct subgroup.

0:02:08.946,0:02:10.746
If this were a genetic error,

0:02:10.746,0:02:14.822
natural selection should have long ago[br]called this from the gene pool.

0:02:15.375,0:02:18.446
So, while I was pondering this,

0:02:18.446,0:02:23.226
this paradox about the natural[br]origins of homosexuality,

0:02:24.076,0:02:26.092
our babies grew up.

0:02:26.855,0:02:30.507
Jimmy has three younger[br]siblings who adore him.

0:02:30.507,0:02:34.497
He has this magnetism [br]and this charming wit

0:02:34.497,0:02:37.106
that helps them feel happy and relaxed.

0:02:37.106,0:02:39.848
And one day, while contemplating[br]this "Jimmy effect,"

0:02:39.848,0:02:43.788
it suddenly dawned on me:[br]homosexuality is not so much about sex;

0:02:43.788,0:02:48.485
it's really more about survival,[br]the family's survival.

0:02:48.866,0:02:52.544
So us, Homo sapiens, we are among[br]the most social species on Earth.

0:02:52.544,0:02:57.708
For us, it's not just a kill-or-be-killed[br]struggle for existence.

0:02:57.708,0:03:01.508
It's a snuggle for existence, you know.

0:03:01.508,0:03:04.421
An ability to love our family[br]and bond with our group

0:03:04.421,0:03:08.018
determines, in many cases,[br]whether we survive or perish.

0:03:08.018,0:03:10.029
So it's the survival[br]of the fittest family,

0:03:10.029,0:03:11.923
not the fittest individual.

0:03:12.594,0:03:17.835
So, you share 50% of your DNA[br]with your siblings.

0:03:18.500,0:03:21.243
Your nieces and nephews[br]share 25% of your DNA.

0:03:21.243,0:03:22.649
Frоm evolution's perspective,

0:03:22.649,0:03:25.859
you have the same genetic success[br]if you raise one child on your own

0:03:25.859,0:03:28.517
or you enable a sibling[br]to raise two children.

0:03:28.517,0:03:30.575
Frоm evolution's perspective,

0:03:31.770,0:03:34.763
this is all about [br]cooperation and altruism.

0:03:34.763,0:03:38.111
Homosexuality is[br]genetically-programmed altruism.

0:03:38.111,0:03:42.029
Gays are designed by nature[br]to help us be kind to one another,

0:03:42.029,0:03:44.237
like Ellen DeGeneres says.

0:03:44.237,0:03:45.605
(Laughter)

0:03:46.098,0:03:48.217
So, E. O. Wilson,

0:03:48.680,0:03:52.670
probably the greatest evolutionary[br]biologist since Darwin himself,

0:03:52.670,0:03:57.744
says homosexuality gives advantages[br]to the group by specialized talents

0:03:57.744,0:04:00.549
and unusual qualities of personality.

0:04:01.762,0:04:06.019
So, a society that condemns[br]homosexuality harms itself.

0:04:06.544,0:04:10.563
So, what does professor Wilson mean[br]by "unusual qualities of personality"?

0:04:10.563,0:04:14.502
Well, let me tell you[br]about our dear family friend Jenny.

0:04:14.502,0:04:18.581
She is 35, single, straight.

0:04:18.581,0:04:23.662
She was telling us she is looking[br]for a man who's smart and funny,

0:04:23.662,0:04:26.512
who's sensitive, who's a good listener.

0:04:26.512,0:04:29.544
And she says she occasionally[br]meets a guy like that,

0:04:29.544,0:04:33.934
but she complains, "You know,[br]he usually has a boyfriend already!"

0:04:33.934,0:04:35.429
(Laughter)

0:04:35.429,0:04:39.145
So, although people tend to obsess over[br]what gays do or don't do in a bedroom,

0:04:39.145,0:04:43.843
it's really this distinctive personality[br]and a strong intellect

0:04:43.843,0:04:48.065
that are more critical,[br]from evolution's perspective.

0:04:48.654,0:04:50.834
So, scientific studies do indeed show

0:04:50.834,0:04:54.315
that people in the sexual minority[br]tend to be intelligent,

0:04:54.315,0:04:57.629
particularly when it comes[br]to emotional intelligence.

0:04:58.909,0:05:01.885
So, this study showed

0:05:03.405,0:05:06.095
that boys and girls who scored[br]in a very bright IQ range

0:05:06.095,0:05:08.478
were twice as likely[br]to be homosexual as adults

0:05:08.478,0:05:11.880
as those children who scored[br]in the low to average range.

0:05:12.288,0:05:16.285
And, among gay males,[br]on psychological testing,

0:05:17.485,0:05:22.955
gay males tend to score higher[br]in metrics of compassion and cooperation,

0:05:22.955,0:05:25.952
and lower in metrics of hostility.

0:05:26.976,0:05:32.408
So, if Michelangelo had been straight,

0:05:32.408,0:05:35.066
he might have just wallpapered[br]the Sistine Chapel.

0:05:35.066,0:05:36.780
(Laughter)

0:05:37.757,0:05:40.678
Songwriter Sam Austin says,

0:05:40.678,0:05:42.566
"Homosexuality is God's way of ensuring

0:05:42.566,0:05:45.402
the truly gifted aren't[br]burdened with children."

0:05:45.402,0:05:47.459
(Laughter)

0:05:50.737,0:05:55.276
But today, in the US, about 2 out of every[br]25 people are in the sexual minority.

0:05:55.967,0:05:58.588
Diversity is nature's secret weapon.

0:05:58.988,0:06:03.190
If all males were gay,[br]that would be a problem,

0:06:03.190,0:06:07.191
but if all males were warriors,[br]we'd always be at war.

0:06:07.759,0:06:11.029
The recipe for a successful human culture

0:06:11.029,0:06:14.629
is a synergy of many [br]different ingredients.

0:06:14.629,0:06:16.910
Homosexuality is like a catalyst

0:06:16.910,0:06:20.450
to help emotionally connect[br]groups of people together.

0:06:21.030,0:06:23.169
For heterosexuals, to disapprove of gays

0:06:23.169,0:06:28.539
is kind of like the white flour[br]in bread disapproving of the yeast.

0:06:31.791,0:06:36.441
So, if your genome is your hardware,[br]epigenetics is your software.

0:06:36.441,0:06:40.770
You have many different DNA programs[br]downloaded on your DNA,

0:06:40.770,0:06:43.879
and epigenetics chooses[br]from among these to determine

0:06:43.879,0:06:48.176
which version of you actually is[br]the best fit for the environment.

0:06:48.624,0:06:52.400
So, ants, you probably didn't know it,[br]but are another highly social species

0:06:52.400,0:06:55.840
that have epigenetic mechanisms[br]very similar to humans.

0:06:55.840,0:06:59.941
These two are identical twin sisters, huh?

0:07:01.241,0:07:04.540
Even though their DNA sequences[br]are exactly the same,

0:07:05.210,0:07:07.531
this one, the worker,

0:07:07.531,0:07:11.368
is a brainy little scurrier[br]who goes out looking for food,

0:07:11.368,0:07:13.621
whereas the one on the right, the soldier,

0:07:13.621,0:07:17.162
is obviously a brawny one[br]to fight off enemies.

0:07:18.008,0:07:22.753
So, the queen ant[br]epigenetically orchestrates this

0:07:22.753,0:07:27.213
by placing different epigenetic tags[br]on the developing ants.

0:07:27.213,0:07:28.847
So -

0:07:30.625,0:07:34.055
she places tags [br]when the colony is under attack

0:07:34.055,0:07:39.349
to uncoil the DNA and light up[br]the genes to make the soldier,

0:07:39.349,0:07:45.684
but when the colony is hungry,[br]she puts different tags to uncoil the DNA

0:07:45.684,0:07:50.819
and epigenetically create[br]the conditions for the worker.

0:07:51.324,0:07:55.684
So, in this way, the epigenetics -

0:07:55.684,0:08:01.275
the dynamic power of epigenetics[br]changes our genetic expression,

0:08:01.275,0:08:05.235
so that we're born with traits[br]that allow us and our families

0:08:05.235,0:08:08.361
the best chance to succeed[br]in the current conditions.

0:08:09.431,0:08:13.661
So, you probably have[br]gay genes in your DNA,

0:08:14.385,0:08:18.766
but, unless they were turned on[br]in your mother's womb,

0:08:18.766,0:08:21.230
they remain coiled up and silent.

0:08:21.917,0:08:25.487
A recent groundbreaking[br]study from UCLA found

0:08:25.487,0:08:28.766
that, by looking at a group of men,[br]some gay, some straight,

0:08:28.766,0:08:32.075
and looking at epigenetic tags[br]in nine different sites,

0:08:32.075,0:08:36.750
they could predict with 70% accuracy[br]their sexual orientation.

0:08:37.568,0:08:43.360
So, what conditions in the uterus[br]turn on those gay genes?

0:08:43.907,0:08:45.778
So, for a male,

0:08:46.528,0:08:49.248
your chances of homosexuality[br]increase in proportion

0:08:49.248,0:08:53.786
to the number of previous baby boys[br]who inhabited your mother's uterus.

0:08:53.786,0:08:56.965
So, for every older[br]biological brother you have,

0:08:56.965,0:09:00.656
your chances of being born gay go up 33%.

0:09:00.656,0:09:04.869
Long before we invented the pill,

0:09:04.869,0:09:09.393
nature devised homosexuality[br]as a prescription for birth control.

0:09:10.198,0:09:15.759
After four straight, heterosexual males,[br]nature says, "Enough already!,"

0:09:17.780,0:09:22.057
and the mom's immune system[br]switches on the epigenetic switch

0:09:22.057,0:09:25.722
so a gay male is born into the family.

0:09:25.722,0:09:29.331
This one will not be overburdening[br]the clan with yet more mouths to feed

0:09:29.331,0:09:32.860
in the next generation[br]- sometimes more isn't better -

0:09:32.860,0:09:34.919
and he's not going to be[br]killing his brother

0:09:34.919,0:09:37.117
in a fight over who gets the girl.

0:09:38.210,0:09:42.160
Thankfully, the sexual minority[br]these days have many options

0:09:42.160,0:09:43.572
for having kids of their own,

0:09:43.572,0:09:47.331
and I have a hunch my gay son[br]may bless us with grandchildren

0:09:47.331,0:09:50.800
before our three straight children do.

0:09:51.723,0:09:55.521
So, another gene,[br]this one on the X chromosome,

0:09:55.521,0:09:58.052
is called a "male-loving gene,"

0:09:58.052,0:10:01.031
because, when it shows up in a female,

0:10:01.031,0:10:03.912
she tends to mate early[br]and have a lot of kids,

0:10:03.912,0:10:06.591
but, when the male-loving gene[br]shows up in a male,

0:10:06.591,0:10:09.261
it predisposes to homosexuality.

0:10:09.261,0:10:11.933
So, this is another gene[br]that balances a family

0:10:11.933,0:10:14.393
destined to have a large brood[br]of kids and grandkids

0:10:14.393,0:10:19.333
with an occasional gay son whose natural[br]tendency to promote togetherness

0:10:19.333,0:10:23.179
could improve the chances of survival[br]for the whole family.

0:10:24.073,0:10:25.882
Now, I apologize.

0:10:25.882,0:10:30.706
We have a lot more science about[br]sexual orientation in men than in women,

0:10:30.706,0:10:32.932
so this talk is mostly about gay males.

0:10:32.932,0:10:34.693
Though, I have no doubt

0:10:34.693,0:10:38.273
that female homosexuality[br]is also a natural variation

0:10:38.273,0:10:41.199
that is advantageous[br]for the family and the community.

0:10:42.123,0:10:44.882
But Jimmy has no older brothers.

0:10:45.382,0:10:47.055
Why is he gay?

0:10:48.490,0:10:51.525
So, when Joan was pregnant with him,

0:10:51.525,0:10:56.365
we discovered a large cancer[br]growing in her chest.

0:10:56.915,0:10:58.821
Metastasis in the neck.

0:10:59.345,0:11:00.924
It was a scary time.

0:11:01.655,0:11:05.183
She had radiation therapy to her chest

0:11:05.183,0:11:08.247
while Jimmy was still[br]in the third trimester.

0:11:08.865,0:11:12.133
It was a rocky start for little Jimmy.

0:11:13.782,0:11:19.746
Miraculously, they both survived[br]and are in great health today.

0:11:20.463,0:11:23.027
But, in fact,

0:11:23.737,0:11:28.529
severe prenatal stress[br]does predispose to homosexuality.

0:11:29.206,0:11:31.877
In this study, 37% of gay males

0:11:31.877,0:11:35.124
reported their mothers[br]suffered severe prenatal stress

0:11:35.728,0:11:41.122
compared to only 3%[br]of heterosexual males' moms.

0:11:44.498,0:11:49.888
This is kind of like the queen ant,

0:11:49.888,0:11:54.242
where the mom is placing[br]epigenetic markers on the baby

0:11:54.242,0:12:00.665
to change his identity to help[br]the future welfare of the family.

0:12:01.909,0:12:05.360
It's as if the mom was saying,[br]"I'm in trouble here.

0:12:05.360,0:12:10.666
I need a kind and clever ally[br]to help me hold this family together."

0:12:12.790,0:12:14.433
So, to summarize,

0:12:15.789,0:12:17.908
if the family is flushed[br]with plenty of kids

0:12:17.908,0:12:20.269
and/or it's a stressful place and time,

0:12:20.269,0:12:22.727
nature occasionally flips[br]these epigenetics switches

0:12:22.727,0:12:24.420
to turn on the gay genes.

0:12:24.420,0:12:26.496
This alters brain development,

0:12:26.496,0:12:31.822
that changes sexual orientation[br]and also improves emotional intelligence.

0:12:34.199,0:12:36.673
I have no doubt that Jimmy was born gay.

0:12:37.121,0:12:39.230
Here's his first birthday party.

0:12:39.230,0:12:40.732
(Laughter)

0:12:41.258,0:12:45.259
When he was three, he said, "Mommy,[br]when I grow up, I want to marry Daddy."

0:12:45.259,0:12:46.530
(Laughter)

0:12:46.530,0:12:50.362
Now, some parents send their kid away,[br]you know, well-meaning parents,

0:12:50.362,0:12:53.772
to a conversion camp [br]to pray away the gay.

0:12:53.772,0:12:55.681
You might as well send the kid to a camp

0:12:55.681,0:12:58.171
to convert his eye color[br]from brown to blue.

0:12:58.171,0:12:59.669
Not happening!

0:13:00.912,0:13:04.013
But Jimmy is like social glue[br]holding our family together.

0:13:04.013,0:13:07.807
You know, whether his brother Evan[br]gets beat up in a bar fight,

0:13:07.807,0:13:11.793
or his sister Caroline[br]gets dumped by a boyfriend,

0:13:11.793,0:13:16.242
or his sister Kathleen gets busted[br]for plagiarizing Wikipedia -

0:13:16.242,0:13:18.080
(Laughter)

0:13:19.474,0:13:22.415
they know Jimmy's made them feel

0:13:22.415,0:13:26.029
like they belong to something[br]bigger than their problems.

0:13:28.204,0:13:31.282
So, storytelling is the great[br]survival skill of the Irish,

0:13:31.282,0:13:34.276
and, right here in Dublin, 162 years ago,

0:13:34.276,0:13:37.706
one of your finest storytellers was born:

0:13:37.706,0:13:39.554
Oscar Wilde.

0:13:39.554,0:13:42.728
Oscar ran away to the University of Oxford

0:13:42.728,0:13:45.956
where he met a young poet[br]named Bosie Douglas.

0:13:45.956,0:13:48.096
Their long-standing [br]openly gay relationship

0:13:48.096,0:13:53.050
infuriated and humiliated[br]Bosie's father, Lord Queensburry -

0:13:53.050,0:13:54.327
I'm not making this up -

0:13:54.327,0:13:56.113
(Laughter)

0:13:57.073,0:14:01.745
who was so mad that he eventually[br]had Oscar arrested for gross indecency,

0:14:01.745,0:14:05.214
thrown into a dungeon[br]for two years of hard labor.

0:14:05.795,0:14:10.189
Oscar died three years later, a young man.

0:14:10.896,0:14:16.123
Oscar wrote, "Always forgive your enemies.[br]Nothing annoys them so much."

0:14:16.123,0:14:17.497
(Laughter)

0:14:17.497,0:14:22.305
But these days, open homophobia is being[br]replaced by more of a subtle heterosexism

0:14:22.305,0:14:24.688
where people in the sexual minority

0:14:24.688,0:14:27.453
are often considered [br]second-class citizens.

0:14:28.056,0:14:30.188
Boy George says, "There's this illusion

0:14:30.188,0:14:32.866
that homosexuals have sex[br]and heterosexuals fall in love.

0:14:32.866,0:14:36.287
That's completely untrue.[br]We all want to be loved."

0:14:36.287,0:14:40.278
I agree: among all the things in life[br]it'd be hardest to live without,

0:14:40.958,0:14:42.626
love would come first.

0:14:43.395,0:14:47.087
But indoor plumbing and toilet paper[br]would be pretty high up there too, right?

0:14:47.087,0:14:48.569
(Laughter)

0:14:49.046,0:14:51.008
I want to tell you about one more study,

0:14:51.008,0:14:55.156
this one a heartbreaking,[br]nationwide study, from the US,

0:14:55.156,0:14:59.973
that looked at US teens, and they found[br]that those in the sexual minority

0:14:59.973,0:15:01.720
were twice as likely to be bullied,

0:15:01.720,0:15:04.698
five times more likely[br]to have attempted suicide.

0:15:04.698,0:15:08.661
Twenty-nine percent of gay teens[br]had tried to kill themselves.

0:15:09.457,0:15:11.830
These days, around the world,[br]in many countries,

0:15:11.830,0:15:16.347
it's illegal to have same-sex[br]physical intimacy.

0:15:16.347,0:15:19.707
In many countries,[br]it's punishable by death.

0:15:19.707,0:15:22.379
In the red countries,[br]it's punishable by imprisonment.

0:15:22.379,0:15:25.527
In India, the law states [br]14 years to life,

0:15:25.527,0:15:29.730
because "homosexuality[br]is against the order of nature."

0:15:33.126,0:15:34.810
Except that it's not!

0:15:35.240,0:15:39.599
Nature prescribes homosexuality[br]at specific times and places,

0:15:39.599,0:15:43.082
and endows these people[br]with special traits

0:15:43.082,0:15:45.596
that help the people around them flourish.

0:15:46.271,0:15:48.120
What is against the order of nature

0:15:48.120,0:15:51.112
is the ongoing persecution[br]of the sexual minority.

0:15:51.112,0:15:53.630
These are not confused or defective people

0:15:53.630,0:15:57.385
that need to be cured,[br]or punished, or ostracized.

0:15:58.492,0:16:02.821
They need to be accepted,

0:16:03.861,0:16:06.141
for who they are, and embraced.

0:16:07.201,0:16:09.045
They make us better.

0:16:10.461,0:16:15.341
If you had told me 30 years ago,[br]as I held my baby boy,

0:16:15.341,0:16:17.202
that he would grow up to be gay,

0:16:17.202,0:16:19.288
I would have been devastated,

0:16:20.222,0:16:24.288
but looking back, I see Mother Nature[br]knew what she was doing!

0:16:24.984,0:16:29.565
Her clairvoyant intelligence,[br]forged during eons of evolution,

0:16:29.565,0:16:34.992
instinctively knew my family would need[br]the advantages of a gay son.

0:16:35.512,0:16:37.044
Now, admittedly,

0:16:37.434,0:16:40.754
the science of homosexuality[br]is still in it's infancy,

0:16:40.754,0:16:44.082
but as his father,[br]what I can tell you for sure

0:16:44.082,0:16:47.022
is that Jimmy is exactly[br]who he was meant to be,

0:16:47.763,0:16:52.453
and my family is stronger and happier[br]because he's in our clan.

0:16:53.734,0:16:55.289
How about you?

0:16:56.254,0:16:58.339
Can you set sex aside?

0:16:59.365,0:17:05.436
Realize gay men and gay women[br]are essential to humanity?

0:17:06.932,0:17:08.567
We're like the ants.

0:17:08.567,0:17:13.841
It's in our diversity where we find[br]our collective strength.

0:17:14.467,0:17:15.557
Thank you.

0:17:15.557,0:17:18.606
(Applause) (Cheers)