WEBVTT

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So here is a PDD person.

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PDD person!

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PDD for pervasive developmental disorder.

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What? Pervasive?

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Don't worry, this isn't contagious.

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It's not like the Treasury either

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which invades you until your homes.

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No, this is much simpler,

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it's popularly known as autism.

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Well, I admit that PDD sounds stylish

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while autism does not so much.

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I always say that the difference 
between PDD and autism

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is the same that between 
a homeless person and a tramp.

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It's the same thing
but with different words.

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(Applause)

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On the other hand,

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autistic people are said to live 
in their own bubble.

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But there are 500 000 people 
with autism in France,

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so many people live in that bubble.

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And I can assure you that we have fun.

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We have a great time.

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Maybe we have a greater time

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than "Mr. Me, I president."

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(Applause)

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He's alone in his own bubble. All alone.

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(Laughs)

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Moreover, it seems that...

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Well - that's what I was told -

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this poor guy has to undergo
the so called "ordeal of caviar."

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The "ordeal of caviar"

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consists of having to swallow,
several times a day,

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a disgusting substance

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exploding in your mouth and on your teeth

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when tasting it.

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Other ordeals await the little man.

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It seems that

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there is also the ordeal of "champagne".

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Champagne, this fermented beverage,

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while my parents had always told me

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not to eat mouldy or rotten food.

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(Laughs)

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So, you know...

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Then, as a PDD person,

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I don't smoke.

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Not necessarily for philosophical reasons,

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but simply, how can one buy cigarettes?

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Where can you buy it online?

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I don't know, it requires social skills.

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So, no alcohol, no caviar, no tobacco,

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or any other substances.

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As you can see,

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being autistic is ecological, 
economical...

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(Applause)

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every eco-something you want.

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In short, I think being autistic
should be repaid by the social security.

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(Laughs)
(Applause)

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This being so,

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don't count on me

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to attend any pin-giving ceremony,

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more or less golden or other,

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as I have my Ethiopian grammar class
at this time

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that I can't miss,

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and anyway,

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I'm not fond of this kind of social drama.

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By the way, I have a secret to tell you.

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One of my close friend

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is an eminent linguist,

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he's now doctor of Linguistics,

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and the day of his dissertation viva,
I was worried about him.

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"How is he going to manage for hours

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the continuous flow of questions,

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more or less trick?" I thought.

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And the very evening, I received an email.

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He writes to me at a fixed time
in the evening

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and he said: "the viva went well."

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I certainly believed him,

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"But the drink after it was unbearable."

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(Laughs)

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Your servant solved the problem 
more directly:

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there was no drink to my viva.

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That solved the problem.

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But, you know, it was hard.

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I had a bad start,

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a really bad start.

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See by yourself:

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I was born on the same day and year
as Britney Spears.

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(Laughs)

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The only good thing is that

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now I know at least one celebrity

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which I can talk about

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during the dinner parties I can't avoid.

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That's at least one thing.

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On the other hand, I was born

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in the former buildings of 
Charenton asylum.

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As it was used to say,

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The "royal house of Charenton
for old books lovers."

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So, that's where I was born.

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I can tell you, it was a pretty bad start.

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When my parents saw me,

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they said: "we're not having 
kids anymore."

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(Laughs)

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And then school age came.

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Well, no need to tell you
that I was in great difficulty

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as my teachers would always say back then,

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I did not start school.

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Indeed, I couldn't make hoop,

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and I still can't.

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I still don't have the skills required
in Year 1.

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If I had repeated, I don't know,

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a dozen times,

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it wouldn't have been enough.

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Indeed, you see,

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The Ministry of National Education

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thinks you need to know how to make hoop

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before working out triple integrals.

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Not the contrary.
(Laughs)

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(Applause)

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If you know how to work out
triple integrals,

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you don't start school.

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Plus, if you go back to your psychologist,

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you really look nut.

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You'll get tiny pills.

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That's what happened to me for years.

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I became, I think, a great friend
of various laboratories.

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I must indeed have contributed
to their health.

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Moreover, psychatrists at the time

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were extremely competent.

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They could empty your bank account
within a few minutes.

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And according to the favourite expression,

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remember that,

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by check you'll never pay,

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or everything will go away.

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You must pay cash,

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which has of course other advantages,

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but well, I only understood it later.

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So the years passed,

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and at primary school

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I was struggling anyway

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because I had become aware
of something terrible.

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I realised that my Year 4 teacher
was uncultivated.

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She didn't even know
Ramesses II's successor.

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It also seemed

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she didn't know the capital of Belize.

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Honestly ! Nonsense !

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And so the years passed.

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At secondary school, nobody wanted
to sit next to me.

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Anyway, I would come 
more or less regularly.

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But once in sixth-form college,
things got different.

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Oddly enough, it took me 
some time to understand

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why some wanted to sit next to me

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especially before math exams.

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(Laughs)

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Well, some social equations
can't be solved.

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Such is life they say.

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Then, later on

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I'm now almost free,

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I study for pleasure.

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I can choose my classes, which is great.

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So for a certain time 
I attended Ethiopian classes.

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These classes do perfectly fit autism.

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You're alone with the teacher.

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(Laugh)

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(Applause)

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By the way,

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the teacher, how can I put this?,

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isn't so different than us.
(Laughs)

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So we got along extremely well.

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I also attend, and hopefully,
it will begin this year,

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Old Avestan classes.

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We're a larger group: we're 3.

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The 2 guys passionately argue

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about the formations of Sigmatic Aorist

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into Vedic Sanskrit

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compared to Avestan forms.

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And then I tell them "Stop it!
Go back to what really matters!"

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(Laughs)

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"Think about the essential things of life.

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For instance, the transition from
the Sumerian to the Akkadian writing."

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(Laughs)

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You see, that's how we have a great time.

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(Laughs)

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One thing should be noted.

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Some say, at least, that's what is written
in erudite treatises:

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autism goes along
with relationship problems.

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I would say: not necessarily.

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For instance,

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I absolutely have no relationship problem


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with my mother-in-law.

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(Laughs)

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And I would even go as far as to say


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that according to my little 
unvalidated statistics

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99% of people having relationship
problems with their mothers

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are not autistic.

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(Laughs)

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So, at the office, it was complicated.

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I had a little... privilege.

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I have a title.

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I'm the guy who failed

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all his job interviews. All of them.

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Earlier this afternoom

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we had this brilliant talk about
Aikido Management.

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My life is more about failure management.

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(Laugh)

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Just to tell you how unsporting I am.

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Well, anyway,

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for a few years now,

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I've had the chance to have a boss

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who doesn't care about my clothing.

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He was born blind.
(Laughs)

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That's convenient.

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I dedicate the free time that I have
to one of my recent hobby,

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which has remained a bit secret until now:

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I collect small sized water bottles.

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This one is from Corsica.

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It has to be handled carefully.

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(Laughs)

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But I'm proud of my little collection.

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Then, for a few years,

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I've been an entertainer in autism.

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Just like there are travellers,

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there are autistic travellers.

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Now, for lack of being friend
with pharmacologists,

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I'm friend with French hotel keepers.

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Soon I will ask for my little permit

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so I can access to the parking area

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dedicated to autistic travellers.

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Well, you know, people often 
talk about curing,

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curing persons with autism.

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What comes up when you speak
to an autism specialist,

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"specialists" in quotes,

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one of the words you'll hear first

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is the suffering. You suffer.

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And as one of my autistic friend told me:

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the suffering of autistic people

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is a vital need for the psychiatric.

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Of course !

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Otherwise...
(Applause)

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But in order to disprove some rumours,

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it's important to note that
I studied medicine.

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For two hours.
(Laughs)

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I went in the wrong lecture hall and
I didn't dare to go out.

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That's why, actually.

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We can laugh about it,
laugh is welcomed.

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But, I can assure you that
a large number of great experts

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with pretentious titles

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had often less than a two-hour class

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about autism

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during all their years at university.

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Unfortunately.

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So...

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Let's take a practical example.

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When a child with autism ask you:

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"What does pass out mean?"

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To pass out,

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going outside, that's it?

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Or, what does "cutting corners" mean?

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Making something round.

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Pictures are the first language.

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That's how children with autism

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understand language.

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Is it a defect ? Do we have to cure it?

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In my opinion, it's a minor defect

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compared with what "cutting corners"
actually means to many politicians.

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(Laughs)

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(Applause)

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I can give you an electoral data,

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it seems that 99% of politicians

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with whom it's impossible to communicate

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are not autistic.

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(Applause)

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And there, unfortunately,

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any of the existing therapies seems
to be fruitful.

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What should we do?

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That's very annoying.

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By the way, I barely dare to say it,

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but it's whispered in the small
autistic community,

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Marseilles inhabitants tricked us.

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They really did.

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They didn't want Mrs Carlotti.

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So we, disabled persons, we'll have to...

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Anyway, that's our problem.

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I also would like to add something,

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Nowadays we talk about 
educating autistic children.

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Good, it should be done.

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But I would like to note something,

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I know numerous non-autistic children

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who need to adapt themselves at school.

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I think that the adaptations set up

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at school for children with autism

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are beneficial to other children first ,

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to every children.

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It has been proven.

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When you add an autistic children
in a classroom,

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the school and class level increases.

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It's the same in companies.

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Have you heard that,

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during last summer,

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SPA, the German software giant

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announced that it would hire
hundreds of collaborators

00:16:07.505 --> 00:16:09.238
with autism.

00:16:09.238 --> 00:16:12.228
We heard crazy things in the French press!

00:16:12.228 --> 00:16:18.008
"Merkel even wants to enslave
persons with autism."

00:16:18.008 --> 00:16:20.513
So, let's calm down a little.

00:16:20.513 --> 00:16:23.773
These people will just have a good job

00:16:23.773 --> 00:16:28.503
and will be paid depending their skills.

00:16:28.503 --> 00:16:32.266
And in a few years, if SPA's results

00:16:32.266 --> 00:16:34.518
are even better than today,

00:16:34.518 --> 00:16:40.233
we'll cry foul over a German plot
against France.

00:16:40.233 --> 00:16:48.872
(Applause)

00:16:50.262 --> 00:16:55.248
You know, a device has been placed here, 
before my eyes,

00:16:55.248 --> 00:16:56.783
it's called a timer.

00:16:56.783 --> 00:17:00.015
It's frequently used in facilities

00:17:00.015 --> 00:17:03.756
designed to receive persons with autism

00:17:03.756 --> 00:17:08.258
because autistic persons 
can't manage their time.

00:17:08.258 --> 00:17:13.250
These facilities are said
to be the worst by the way.

00:17:13.250 --> 00:17:15.492
But once again, I can assure you

00:17:15.492 --> 00:17:19.008
most of people who have trouble
managing their time

00:17:19.008 --> 00:17:22.002
are non-autistic persons.

00:17:22.002 --> 00:17:24.998
So I'll come to my two last sentences,

00:17:24.998 --> 00:17:26.246
if I may.

00:17:26.246 --> 00:17:27.763
First:

00:17:27.763 --> 00:17:32.260
Autistic people are said to live
in their own bubble,

00:17:32.260 --> 00:17:37.253
I know numerous non-autistic people 
living in thick bubbles

00:17:37.253 --> 00:17:40.790
with whom no communication is possible.

00:17:40.790 --> 00:17:45.232
Being interested in pi number decimals,

00:17:45.232 --> 00:17:48.756
is not stupider or rarer

00:17:48.756 --> 00:17:52.769
than memorising football results.

00:17:52.769 --> 00:17:53.782
(Laughs)

00:17:53.782 --> 00:17:58.566
(Applause)

00:17:59.626 --> 00:18:03.526
On the other hand, I'm thinking...

00:18:03.526 --> 00:18:06.029
I could go on like this for hours,

00:18:06.029 --> 00:18:09.798
especially because, I didn't tell you,

00:18:09.798 --> 00:18:13.499
I have the Fidel Castro syndrome.

00:18:13.499 --> 00:18:16.972
I just would like to tell you a story.

00:18:16.972 --> 00:18:21.768
A great man came to France
a few years ago.

00:18:21.768 --> 00:18:24.502
Stephen Shore, an American.

00:18:24.502 --> 00:18:28.519
And so when he was a young child,

00:18:28.519 --> 00:18:32.993
at the time, in the 1960s-1970s,

00:18:32.993 --> 00:18:36.984
American doctors knew as much


00:18:36.984 --> 00:18:39.746
as what French doctors know 
today about autism.

00:18:39.746 --> 00:18:43.254
So they told his parents:

00:18:43.254 --> 00:18:47.521
"Well... Some parents have a dog at home,

00:18:47.521 --> 00:18:49.502
you, you'll have this child."

00:18:49.502 --> 00:18:51.636
Many years later,

00:18:51.636 --> 00:18:53.738
little Stephen became a grown-up.

00:18:53.738 --> 00:18:56.776
Yes, autistic children
become adults too.

00:18:56.776 --> 00:19:00.247
Some don't know it, but it's a fact.

00:19:00.247 --> 00:19:02.532
So many years later,

00:19:02.532 --> 00:19:06.277
Stephen was now professor
at Boston University

00:19:06.277 --> 00:19:10.522
and when he came to France, 
at the end of his lecture,

00:19:10.522 --> 00:19:13.527
someone asked him a question:

00:19:13.527 --> 00:19:18.007
"Mr. Shore, you're married but
why don't you have children?"

00:19:18.007 --> 00:19:19.767
And he answered:

00:19:19.767 --> 00:19:23.272
"My wife and I decided
not to have children

00:19:23.272 --> 00:19:27.042
because he might NOT be autistic."

00:19:27.042 --> 00:19:28.076
(Laughs)

00:19:28.076 --> 00:19:29.291
Thank you.
(Applause)