[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:01.01,0:00:03.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Y'know\NI'm a vampire
Dialogue: 0,0:00:04.50,0:00:07.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want to suck your blood
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.08,0:00:09.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Director) Adam Sandler for Twilight
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.04,0:00:13.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry Bella\NMy mama said that girls are the devil
Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.17,0:00:17.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Vampires are better\NNo
Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.29,0:00:18.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Director) Alan Rickman
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.93,0:00:25.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I suck the blood of little animals
Dialogue: 0,0:00:26.03,0:00:28.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Are you afraid?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.46,0:00:31.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Director) This is Austin Powers \Nauditioning for Twilight
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.53,0:00:35.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hey Bella (inaudible)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.38,0:00:39.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can turn into a werewolf,\Nbaby (animal noise)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.94,0:00:43.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(wolf howling) Yeah, baby
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.45,0:00:46.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Director) Got Bam Margera here, \Nauditioning for Twilight
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.74,0:00:49.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, what, he's like a \Nwerewolf or something?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.61,0:00:50.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Director) Jacob, yes
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.86,0:00:53.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Who actually watches these movies?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.20,0:00:55.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Director) Mostly teen girls\Nand their moms
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.41,0:00:56.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is so weird
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.34,0:00:58.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Director) Bear Grylls
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.71,0:01:00.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm just so parched
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.09,0:01:03.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hopefully if I find a small animal\Nlike a squirrel
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.49,0:01:05.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then I'll be able to suck their blood
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.57,0:01:11.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've been waiting a century\Nto marry you, uh, Bella Swan, so uh
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.65,0:01:13.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Director) Can you put more \Nemotion into it, like you care?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.89,0:01:19.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, yeah. Hey Bella, I'm a vampire!\NJust tell me I'm a vampire
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.24,0:01:22.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You want my girl, Jacob? \NYou ain't gonna get it. Aight?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.11,0:01:24.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Director) Clint Eastwood
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.52,0:01:26.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What the hell is this story about again?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.66,0:01:28.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Director) It's about \Nvampires and love and
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.87,0:01:31.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Listen, wolf boy, the only thing
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.50,0:01:34.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,standing between me and you is Bella
Dialogue: 0,0:01:34.81,0:01:38.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sorry, Bella, must've \Nput my baby inside you
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.40,0:01:42.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's my baby! We have to save Bella, \Nbefore she dies.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.23,0:01:44.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've already played a vampire before
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.84,0:01:46.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Director) We're aware, that's \Nwhy we called you in, Colin
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.91,0:01:48.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So did I get the part?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.68,0:01:50.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Director) This is Jack Sparrow, \Nauditioning for Twilight
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.16,0:01:54.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know what you are, you're a vampire
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.83,0:01:57.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Director) Jeff Goldblum
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.62,0:02:00.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bella, not to be afraid, no, no,\Nno no no
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.23,0:02:05.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Uh, uh, I do have a thirst for blood\NI have a flir-, er, first, er thirst
Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.62,0:02:07.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,right, but I'm not going \Nto suck your blood
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.79,0:02:11.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No! No, I'm not going to, uh,\Nuh, I'm not going to drink your blood
Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.49,0:02:15.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, no no no\NYou're safe, yes, yes yes yes yes yes
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.14,0:02:20.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But, uh, perhaps you should, you you you\Nyou you should maybe perhaps trust me
Dialogue: 0,0:02:20.15,0:02:21.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes yes
Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.54,0:02:23.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Director) Could you do it \Nless like stuttering and noises?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.99,0:02:25.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ahhh
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.02,0:02:26.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you really want a \Nwerewolf in your life?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.90,0:02:29.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I am a vampire,\Nso I can live forever
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.21,0:02:33.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jacob, he's a wolf, so he's probably \Nlike 3000 years old in dog years
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.74,0:02:36.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's probably going to die any second,\Nso why not go with me?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.64,0:02:37.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,\NHow you doing?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.14,0:02:39.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Director) Leonardo DiCaprio for Twilight
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.98,0:02:43.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You did this. Now she's gonna die.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.74,0:02:45.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have to protect the tribe!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.05,0:02:47.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You, Edward!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.09,0:02:51.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(animal noises)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.23,0:02:52.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Director) Leo, what are you doing?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.60,0:02:54.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm turning into a wolf
Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.82,0:02:58.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh no Bella, don't listen to Jacob.\NHe's a meanie and he'll hurt you.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.82,0:03:00.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if you have sex with Edward
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.11,0:03:02.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're gonna have a little baby \Nvampire in your stomach
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.47,0:03:05.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he'll be eating at you,\Nand it'll be your fault.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.51,0:03:07.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Director) Orlando Jones for Twilight
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.75,0:03:09.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Orlando Jones?! I'm Orlando Bloom!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.20,0:03:14.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was in Troy, Pirates of the \NCaribbean, Elizabethtown
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.13,0:03:17.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't want 7 Up, I'm on a diet
Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.56,0:03:19.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Director) What's with the sweater?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.39,0:03:21.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's not a sweater, I'm a werewolf!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.24,0:03:24.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Director) This is Russell Brand, \Nauditioning for Twilight
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.60,0:03:27.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bella, don't listen to Jacob,\Nhe's just a little wolf boy
Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.17,0:03:31.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I promise, Bella, that \NI won't suck your blood
Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.90,0:03:33.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Director) Ryan Gosling
Dialogue: 0,0:03:34.17,0:03:35.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bella, I just wanted you \Nto know that you're\N
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.70,0:03:37.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the best thing that ever \Nhappened to me
Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.56,0:03:50.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ I've been waiting all my life,\Nall my life ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.38,0:03:54.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ for someone like you,\Nlike you, like you ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.35,0:03:57.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ I've been waiting here \Nall night, all night ♪