[Beer cap thrown onto table]

MAN IN GLASSES:
Dude, where've you been?

You've been gone for three weeks

MAN IN BASEBALL CAP:
Dude, you don't know?

MAN IN SWEATER:
Yeah dude, I was sick

CAP:
What a bad friend, right?

[Laughs]

SWEATER:
Yeah, it was pretty bad

CAP:
Dude, he almost straight up died!

GLASSES:
Really? What happened?

SWEATER:
It started a month ago

and I was just like

[Breathes deeply]

[Snorts]

It's cold today

[Snorts]

[Sneezes loudly]

I think I should just go home

[Muffled:]
Ugh, I'm sweating

[Inhales sloppily]

[Loud coughing]

[Imitates motherly voice:]
Alex, just have some chicken soup

[Normal voice:]
No!

No, I'm okay, I'm okay

[Motherly voice:]
Just have a little bit

You need to have
something in your stomach

[Normal voice:]
No, mom!

Just keep the food

I don't wanna eat anything

[Retches]

Oh my god...

[Screams]

[Screeches]

[Slurping noises]

[Clicking noise]

[Motherly voice:]
Alex, is everything alright up there?

[Normal voice:]
Ugh, I think I need to go to the hospital

Doctor, am I gonna make it?

[Imitates doctor:]
Don't worry, son

I'm not losing you on my watch

[Imitates nurse:]
But doctor, he's in pain

Why don't we just put him down?

[Imitates doctor:]
DAMN IT WOMAN!

HE'S A HUMAN BEING

NOT AN ANIMAL!

CLEAR!

[Imitates defibrillator]

CLEAR!

[Imitates defibrillator]

CLEAR!

[Imitates defibrillator]

[Imitates heart monitor]

Beep

Beep

Beep

Beep

Beep

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

[Gasps]

[Breathes deeply]

I'm alive

I'm alive!

It was all a dream...

[Puts beer down]

[Clapping]

Dude, where are you going?

[Outro music]