(upbeat electronic music)
I'm 47-soon to be 48 next month
I am 44 years old
I drive for a ride-share company
and I'm a nanny to my nephews
I do usability assessments for websites,
which basically means that I test them
to see if they're accessible for people with disabilities
I consider myself fairly fun
I would describe myself as fun
and funny
Interesting
Compassionate
Creative
I have some smarts
My perfect partner would be somebody who is, I think, first intelligent
(skipping tape noise)
I have some smarts (laughs)
I love good brains
I wanna have a good conversation with somebody
and I have no other expectations besides that
-(Chad) Hey, are you Cat? -Yeah
-Cat, I'm Chad -Hi Chad
-Nice to meet you -Holy crap
-Can I take a seat? -Yeah, here
Thank you
Woah
-Don't fall -No, I won't, I promise
-It's a true blind date -It is a true blind date
You don't look blind
I was diagnosed when I was a teenager
Oh, ok
and I went through a blindness rehabilitation program
-(laughs) You did? -Yup
Oh, I'm sorry, that sounded like rehab for blind people
I know, yeah, it pretty much is
8 hours a day, 5 days a week, I did it for 6 months
They teach you cane travel and braille and all the technology and stuff like that
so I like to say it becomes a minor
-nuisance at best -Right
-I'm not blind (laughs) -Ok, good to know, ok, you didn't mention
that on the call, so I'm glad
And you're not deaf
-I'm not deaf -Right
-You have a book here -I do
Ok
If I really wanted to read it, I have a way to do that
Really?
Yeah there's a device in my phone where I can just take a picture of the page and it
reads it
-That's so awesome -Yeah
-Ok, can we do it? -Sure, you wanna check it out?
(Cat) Yeah (laughs) 'cause I want you to read the title 'cause that's really funny
(Waiter) And there you go Thanks
-(Waiter) This is the menu -Ok great
(Waiter) so you can go ahead and check it out
Here we go
(Phone) "The Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities"
-Sexual what? What is that? Sexual Possi- -Possibilities
-Nice, ok -"The Ethical Slut, a Guide to Infinite
-Sexual Possibilities" -Interesting. And this is casual reading
-for you, during your blind dates -(Cat laughing) Yeah, yeah
Ok
So you brought it because you wanted to have me read something or?
No I actually- I just got here early and I just had it with me so
-Oh gotcha -Em
-Ok -I shouldn't have shared
It's a little embarrassing
So I'm gonna ha- Well you'll have to read the menu with your... your-
-Oh yes -little thing and I can help you, though,
-of course, 'cause I know how to read -Yes
-(Waiter) Matcha green tea. Here we are -(Cat) Oooo! Thank you
(Waiter) Alright, I'll be right back for you guys
-Ok -Alright, thank you
Well what do you do?
-I drive for Lift -Ok
-I know it's not really exciting but -I just took a Lift here
You did? Yay! You drove Lift and not Uber?
I mean, you know, kinda given my situation, right, I can't drive
(Cat laughs)
It's like the one thing blind guys cannot do under any circum-
There's not an app for that?
There is not an app for that yet
-I mean, yeah -Do you know what I like about you being
-blind? -What?
-You're not staring at my boobs -Oh, well, that's true. That's true,
(Cat laughing) I'm staring at- I'm staring at your mouth
(Cat, still laughing and stammering too) I'm sorry
-I get nervous on dates, I'll admit -Do you?
Yes, I'm a puss
Do you need to... see my face?
No, no it's ok (Cat cackling)
-I never do that on the first date -Good call
Yeah, it's a little- a little weird
(upbeat electronic music overlay)
I could look like a complete slob and stuff this in my face
Do it. I won't tell
(stammering) Oh here we go. Do you need a- Here's a spoon for you
Oh thank you
I'll just- I wont judge the slurping, I promise
Aren't you supposed to slurp? Isn't that supposed to be like a cultural thing that
-says that you enjoy the food -I would assume there's some cultures that
do that
(Cat) I'm gonna try it
Let's assume it's this one
I want you to know I'm picking my teeth in front of you and you can't tell
Ok. Go for it
(upbeat instrumental music overlay)
I could flash you and you wouldn't even appreciate it
That's happened
-My buddy's girlfriend did that -Yeah?
-And he got really mad at her -I guess we're in a restaurant full of
-kids too so -Yeah there are laws against that. So far
One last potsticker. It's in front of you. You gotta eat it
You know, you could have told me that there was none left and I would've totally
believed you
-There's one left, just for you -Really?
-Yes -Alright, I'll eat it
-Oh you're close, you're close -I'm gonna- I'm doing it with my finger
-Feel for it -I'm going all in
I might even double-dip
I believe in double-dipping anyways, fuck it
(muffled) You do?
Well, I could totally double-dip with you, you wouldn't even notice
Yes. (Cat laughs) You totally could
That would be so rude, and awesome, and I'd probably do it
Well, it was really great meeting you here
Same here
I'd like to see you again, so maybe- (laughs) Get it?
I put it in quotes, but you couldn't see it
Ohh, yeah, I get it. Well, I'd have to ask my wife... yeah, sorry
-Ok... Wow, get the fuck out of here, man -Yeah
-Sorry -(Stuttering) Hope you enjoyed your ramen
It was good. I'll buy dinner
I hope so, yeah. I was expecting you to- What the hell
My dating partner was frickin blind
I thought Cat was great
I didn't know it was, like, literally a blind date
She doesn't like spicy food, so that might be a problem
I had a literal blind date
We kinda talked about the blindness thing for a little while, you know, a little
too long
I wouldn't have gone to Ross last night and bought this new outfit
Best advice I would give Cat is: "Ask if they are married first"
How about you let someone know that you're married before you go on a fuckin date
Yeah, I'd date her again if my wife was cool with it
Would I date him again?
He seemed very nice and cordial and respectful except for that lack of respect
for not telling me he was married
I did not even see that coming
(upbeat electronic music)
(Honks horns) Lift
Are you my Lift driver?
-Fucking hell -(Chad) Cat?
Get in
(Chad) Ha alright (Cat) Mm great
(Chad) Do you wanna meet my wife?
She cute? I like blondes
(Chad) She's not bad. Redhead
Mm, second choice
(Music fades)