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Mariah Fenton Gladis (Unclear)

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Ron Gladis: I give a new[br]meaning to the term:

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MFG (Unclear)

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RG: "High-maintenance woman."

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(Laughter)

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When I was two and a half,

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my mother threw my father[br]out of the house.

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I never saw or heard from him again.

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She told me that he didn't want[br]to remember that he had a daughter,

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alone, overweight and holding secrets.

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My emotional damage was undeniable.

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That's forward 18 years.

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My mother received word[br]that my father had died,

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and someone needed to claim his body.

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Without thinking I said, "I'm going."

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So I went to New York,

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found the bar across the street[br]from his apartment,

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and someone who could identify him.

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Later that day,

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I asked his landlord

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if I could see his apartment.

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We climbed up three flights[br]of creaky stairs

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to his door.

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I was scared,

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feeling disoriented,

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as I stepped into the home

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of the man I've been missing

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all of my life.

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In his bedroom,

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as I opened the first drawer,

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I saw a wedding ring,

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my highschool graduation picture,

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and a white envelope

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marked Mariah's first haircut.

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Inside was a lock of my red hair.

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I was stunned.

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I felt a seismic shift in my identity,

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years of hearing my inner voice saying,

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"You're not good enough,

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pretty enough,

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thin enough.

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No man will ever love you."

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I realized

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that to my father

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I was a treasured lost child.

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I was changed forever.

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Now as a psychotherapist for 40 years,

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I know

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that when we walk around[br]feeling unlovable or unworthy,

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it darkens our entire life.

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This lack of internal self-support

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and self-love

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brings profound aloneness,

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shame,

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and hopelessness.

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We need to create an inner life,

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a home,

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where we can always turn

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for support and unconditional acceptance.

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I call this: "Arriving already loved,

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by you".

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So if you fall,

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you'll be the first one there

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to pick yourself up.

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In 1981,

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I felt

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big time.

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I was diagnosed with ALS,

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and given a ten percent chance

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to live two years.

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Later that day,

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this man

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(Laughter)

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Ron,

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my hero,

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asked me to marry him.

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(Applause)

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A death sentence,

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and a marriage proposal

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(Laughter)

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on the same day!

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(Laughter)

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Wow!

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I knew that to give myself [br]the best chance of survival,

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I needed to be free of self-criticism,

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blame and guilt.

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I need a close compassionate connection

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with every cell in my body,

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every step of the way.

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And I needed to talk to myself,

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like I would to a treasured child:

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"Mariah, I love you,

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and I will be with you through this,

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everyday,

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until you draw your last breath."

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This healthy inner conversation

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has huge transformational power

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for each of us.

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Thirty-six years ago,

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if I had accepted

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the identity of a dead woman walking,

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I know I would not be here today.

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I've made it my daily practice

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to arrive here, there and everywhere,

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already loved.

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Let me leave you with this thought:

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if you and I

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were to lock arms

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and walk and roll

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through one day of your life,

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and you whispered in my ear

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every thought you had,

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would I have a good day?

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(Laughter)

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Thank you.

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(Applause)