[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:05.07,0:00:06.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: Oh, God damn it!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:06.45,0:00:08.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Facebook (FB): Hello! Welcome home, Nick.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.58,0:00:10.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Your new home update is ready for viewing.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.50,0:00:11.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: Are you serious?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.44,0:00:13.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I just got used to the way you had it before.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.04,0:00:15.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FB: Just let me know if you're ready to begin the tour.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.47,0:00:18.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: [sigh]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.46,0:00:20.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.30,0:00:23.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FB: As you can see, we made some changes to improve the functionality
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.33,0:00:25.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of your living room environment.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.63,0:00:27.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: Wait ... no! Where's the other half of my couch?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.93,0:00:29.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wha-- what is this chair thing? I--
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.02,0:00:31.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FB: We've decreased the size of your Television
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.14,0:00:32.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to make room for your new Bookcase.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.74,0:00:35.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,N: No, I had a 60-six inch TV! What? Can we just put the--
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.84,0:00:39.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FB: Just let me know when you're ready to move on.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.16,0:00:41.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: {\i1}sigh{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:00:41.78,0:00:42.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.52,0:00:44.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FB: Check out your new bedroom.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.38,0:00:46.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We've consolidated your Photos and Music
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.69,0:00:48.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,into one convenient location.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.80,0:00:52.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Friend: Hohoho ... Dude, you didn't say you were so chubby in highschool.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.10,0:00:54.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Friend of Friend: Man, do you listen to anything besides Top 40?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.99,0:00:56.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: How did you guys get in here?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.87,0:00:59.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FB: Friends and Friends of Friends
Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.38,0:01:00.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,now have better access to you
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.88,0:01:02.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,through your new Privacy Door.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.67,0:01:06.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: No! I said in the last update that I didn't want anybody in here.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.13,0:01:08.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Get out! Now!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.91,0:01:10.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: (to Friend 1) I haven't talked to you in six years.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.87,0:01:12.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: (to Friend of Friend): And I don't know who you are.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.67,0:01:15.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: (to FB) Would you stop resetting my privacy settings every ti--?!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.40,0:01:17.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[knock on window]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.30,0:01:19.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FB: I see your found your new Privacy Window.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.63,0:01:20.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It allows for anyone on Earth
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.80,0:01:22.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to see what you're up to.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.04,0:01:23.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whenever they want!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.10,0:01:26.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: No! I said I don't want anything like this!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.09,0:01:27.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Would you please--!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.35,0:01:29.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FB: Just let me know when you're ready to move on.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.31,0:01:29.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: [heavy sigh]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.70,0:01:31.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FB: Finally, we've combined your dining room
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.38,0:01:32.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and social media center
Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.70,0:01:34.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now it's way easier for your friends to keep you
Dialogue: 0,0:01:34.67,0:01:35.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the know.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.98,0:01:38.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Friend 2: Nick! Hi! Can you go to my birthday party?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.49,0:01:41.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Friend: Nick! Would you vote for my brother
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.82,0:01:43.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in his contests?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.42,0:01:44.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Friend 2's Brother: [poke]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.48,0:01:46.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Friend 2: Nick! Would you come to my improv show tonight?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.50,0:01:47.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: No! I'm not going to any of those.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.94,0:01:49.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Friend 2: No!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.75,0:01:51.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: [pokes back] Stop it!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.89,0:01:54.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is this tour done because I'm getting sick of all these--?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.57,0:01:55.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[barking sounds]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.71,0:01:57.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: What is that thing in my kitchen?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.04,0:01:59.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FB: We've taken your cat and replaced it
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.24,0:02:01.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with a Dog.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.40,0:02:02.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: No!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.79,0:02:04.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: No!!!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.24,0:02:06.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FB: We've also changed your walls around.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.07,0:02:07.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: These are just ads! What?!!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.73,0:02:08.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FB: If you look here--
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.66,0:02:10.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: No! We're ending the tour.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.02,0:02:11.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FB: Okay.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.40,0:02:15.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: Motherfu--!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.78,0:02:19.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}Whistling{\i0}