[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:05.28,0:00:06.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: Oh, God damn it!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:06.17,0:00:07.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Facebook (FB): Hello! Welcome home, Nick.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:07.69,0:00:10.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Your new home update is ready for viewing.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.39,0:00:10.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: Are you serious?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.19,0:00:12.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I just got used to the way you had it before.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.32,0:00:12.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FB: Just let me know if you're ready to begin the tour.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.93,0:00:15.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: [sigh]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.53,0:00:17.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.69,0:00:19.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FB: As you can see, we made some changes to improve the functionality
Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.76,0:00:23.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of your living room environment.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.27,0:00:25.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: Wait ... no! Where's the other half of my couch?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.06,0:00:27.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wha-- what is this chair thing? I--
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.23,0:00:28.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FB: We've decreased the size of your Television
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.90,0:00:31.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to make room for your new Bookcase.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.15,0:00:32.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,N: No, I had a 60-six inch TV! What? Can we just put the--
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.56,0:00:36.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FB: Just let me know when you're ready to move on.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.78,0:00:39.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: {\i1}sigh{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.32,0:00:40.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.87,0:00:42.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FB: Check out your new bedroom.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.20,0:00:44.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We've consolidated your Photos and Music
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.20,0:00:46.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,into one convenient location.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.70,0:00:48.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Friend: Hohoho ... Dude, you didn't say you were so chubby in highschool.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.71,0:00:52.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Friend of Friend: Man, do you listen to anything besides Top 40?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.25,0:00:55.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: How did you guys get in here?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.00,0:00:56.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FB: Friends and Friends of Friends
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.63,0:00:58.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,now have better access to you
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.72,0:01:00.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,through your new Privacy Door.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.72,0:01:02.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: No! I said in the last update that I didn't want anybody in here.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.64,0:01:06.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Get out! Now!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.36,0:01:08.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: (to Friend 1) I haven't talked to you in six years.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.78,0:01:10.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: (to Friend of Friend): And I don't know who you are.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.31,0:01:12.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: (to FB) Would you stop resetting my privacy settings every ti--?!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.23,0:01:15.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[knock on window]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.03,0:01:17.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FB: I see your found your new Privacy Window.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.20,0:01:19.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It allows for anyone on Earth
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.32,0:01:20.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to see what you're up to.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.32,0:01:21.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whenever they want!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.37,0:01:22.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: No! I said I don't want anything like this!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.74,0:01:26.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Would you please--!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.04,0:01:27.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FB: Just let me know when you're ready to move on.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.08,0:01:28.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: [heavy sigh]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.62,0:01:30.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FB: Finally, we've combined your dining room
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.01,0:01:30.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and social media center
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.86,0:01:32.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now it's way easier for your friends to keep you
Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.34,0:01:34.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the know.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:34.96,0:01:38.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Friend 2: Nick! Hi! Can you go to my birthday party?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.22,0:01:40.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Friend: Nick! Would you vote for my brother
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.05,0:01:41.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in his contests?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.09,0:01:42.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Friend 2's Brother: [poke]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.89,0:01:44.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Friend 2: Nick! Would you come to my improv show tonight?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.19,0:01:46.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: No! I'm not going to any of those.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.27,0:01:48.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Friend 2: No!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.11,0:01:50.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: [pokes back] Stop it!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.02,0:01:51.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is this tour done because I'm getting sick of all these--?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.90,0:01:53.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[barking sounds]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.23,0:01:55.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: What is that thing in my kitchen?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.53,0:01:56.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FB: We've taken your cat and replaced it
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.98,0:01:58.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with a Dog.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.39,0:02:00.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: No!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.98,0:02:02.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: No!!!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.82,0:02:04.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FB: We've also changed your walls around.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.41,0:02:05.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: These are just ads! What?!!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.66,0:02:07.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FB: If you look here--
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.71,0:02:08.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: No! We're ending the tour.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.33,0:02:09.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FB: Okay.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.83,0:02:12.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nick: Motherfu--!