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Testing 123 testing 123
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Hey, this is Mollena Williams,
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and I have a blog called The Perverted Negress,
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and that's because I am kinky and perverted and as well a brown person, as you can see.
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Right now I have no particular outline for what I'm about to say,so I'm kinda wingin' it here,
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so forgive me if it rambles.
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Yesterday, um, I uh logged onto facebook
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because I had received an event invitation from another person of facebook.
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And I cannot tell you how many times I read the event invitation,
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because I was so stunned at what I was seeing.
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and I will put a link so that you can take a look and see what I'm talking about,
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um, below the video or whatever, to the website and/or to the video of the comedian
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and I use the word loosely and in quotes,
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who was booked by a gay leather bar in Portland [Oregon], Portland Eagle.
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and the Eagle is a well known uh name for gay leather bars across the country.
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I've been to many Eagles in america in my travels as a leather woman
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and the Portland Eagle, I do not believe I have visited myself personally,
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but when I saw the invitation,
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I saw that the Portland Eagle had booked an act
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that was shockingly reprehensible, I was really taken aback,
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first and foremost because I have this idea, um, I had this idea
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that gay leather folk would be aware of the flagrant bigotry and racism of booking an act
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that is a white man in "drag" wearing blackface.
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and for those of you who might not be familiar with the term,
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it is an old old tradition, uh, whereby white people, or people who identify as white people of european descent
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don makeup to make them look like black people,
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and then mock and parody black people.
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And this is a fashion in terms of entertainment that has been dead for awhile
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because it is derogatory, racist, and insulting.
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Uh, there is however someone who keeps this tradition alive,
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they use the stage name Shirley Q Liquor,
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And the assumption is that this man has put on makeup of a skin tone not dissimilar to mine,
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with big sloppy lipstick and big popping eyes with horrible eyeshadow and a big afro wig and a housedress.
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And stands there, doing a whole diatribe in a "ghetto accent", for what that's worth.
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If you're unclear on what I mean by this particular situation, go ahead and watch the video.
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Now some of you will say "oh my god it's too horrible, I can't watch it",
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Y'know what? Sit and fuckin' watch it.
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because I've watched it, and I've watched a great deal of his other work over the years,
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as I have in my own way protested, uh, his performance.
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The link I'm going to put below the video is of a show that he did
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coincidentally on my birthday in 2009...
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so the uh year I was turning 41 I guess, no, 40, that would be my 40th birthday...
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This person was in Guerneville, California, not far from where I was living at the time in SanFransisco,
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in blackface, amusing a bunch of folks who, uh, themselves were marginalized in our society,
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that being homosexuals, gay people, queers, however you want to identify, right?
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[takes deep breath]
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Here's the thing.
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I somewhat foolishly had this idea that being associated myself as a bisexual woman,
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myself as a leather woman,
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that I had found company and space where I would be respected,
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where people who understood what it means to be marginalized,
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what it is to be abused because of who you are,
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or to run the risk of being rejected by part of society,
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would respect those differences
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and boy was I wrong.
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When I was in the midst of of understanding the breadth of what was happening yesterday,
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I started writing to other people of colour and other black women specifically,
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and what was horrifying to me was how many of us
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[voice breaking]
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just shrugged our shoulders and said "well that's how it is".
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And it's horrifying that that's how it is.
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And it's horrifying to me that I for a day tempered my rage
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because I was too worried about being accused, of being pointed at, as the angry black woman.
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The stereotype that somehow because of who we are, we are oversensitive, that we are over reacting,
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and that we just need to, know the irony, lighten up
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and fucking relax because it's a joke.
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Allow me to clarify this in case you missed it:
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blackface is not fucking funny.
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Alright?
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It is racist.
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And once something is racist
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if you support it
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you are supporting racism.
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What was horrible about this situation is not just that the fucking Eagle booked it.
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It's that people supported it,
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and then when those of us with a soul and a conscience and a goddamn brain in our head
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said "hey man, that shit is not ok",
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hundreds of people felt free to step up and say
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"what's the big deal? it's just a joke. you're too sensitive. why don't you relax? it's funny."
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It's not fucking funny.
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And then when people were called on their racism
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they said "well, that's your opinion".
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Look up the definition of racism, ok?
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Mocking someone because of their skin colour is part of what belittling someone because of their race means.
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You don't get to pick and choose how racism is.
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It's not my fucking opinion that that's racist.
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It's racist.
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Period.
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For fuck sake.
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Why am I having to explain this in goddamn 2 thousand... 2013 whatever the fuck year it is?
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OK?
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Why am I having this talk on the first day of goddamn Black History Month, will someone explain to me,
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why I am sitting in front of my computer because white people seem to think it was goddamn ok,
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alright?
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To have a man, a white man, dress up and mock me.
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Me, my sisters, my aunts, my grandmothers, my mom, all of that.
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If I step on someones foot
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and they say "ow! you stepped on my foot!"
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and I say "well fuck you, that wasn't that hard, why don't you just goddamn relax and get your foot from under my foot
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while I'm conducting my business?"
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That would be seen as rude.
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And yet, people feel free to tell me,
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first of all, what is or is not racist.
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what is or is not acceptable and how I should react to it.
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alright?
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not only do we have a situation that's racist,
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it's also incredibly sexist.
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And there were certainly people who surprised and startled me by explaining to me online,
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and I mean me as in the larger "we", as another black woman,
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why we were wrong about our feelings, alright?
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Let me be clear when I say that I'm not speaking for all black women,
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you can sign on or you cannot.
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but the fact of the matter is
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enough people who look like me, and enough people who don't look like me
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are aware that this is some crazy fucked up shit,
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and each and every one of you who supported this act
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and then who puled and moaned about the "caving in to political correctness" when the act was canceled,
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--and I'm guaranteeing not becuase they suddenly saw the light
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about how incredibly rude, insensitive and racist they were for booking it in the first goddamn place,
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but because probably it was too much of a pain in the ass
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for them to deal with the bitching and moaning from those of us with souls and brains.
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ok?
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So those of you who supported it?
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Are equally supporting racism.
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Those of you who passively sat by and said "well this is not my fight"?
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It is your fight.
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Come get your people.
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And come talk to them,
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because if you really are an ally, you are in it to win it, and you are in it with us, alright?
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For those of you who think that we are living in a post racial society, that race doesn't matter, etc, etc,
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come and live in my body,
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come and live in a world where I get followed around stores because of my skin colour.
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Come and live in a world where I was sexually assaulted by a police officer in Los Angeles county in 1992
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and had no recource because as a black woman in Los Angeles what the fuck was I going to do about it?
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Come and live in a world where I am profiled and pulled over again and again and again
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for being a sex worker, even though I am wearing a 3-piece suit and standing at a bus stop
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in a metropolitan area,
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because the only people in the neighbourhood are prostitutes,
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and therefore, because I look like them, I must be one.
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Come and live in a world where someone on the street calls me a nigger and other people turn away.
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That is the fucking reality.
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Come and live in a world where people feel free to joke about how funny it is
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that black people are on welfare and have 42 children,
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and my! what silly wacky names they give them!
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and oh! we just mean it as a joke!
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It is not a joke.
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And I will go so far as to say that not only are the people who are supporting this supporting a racist act,
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in their hearts, they are well aware that it's not ok,
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and they just don't give a fuck.
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So all the screenshots that people took of this discussion
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with all the names of the people who were flagrantly racist?
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I hope will live on somewhere in the unconscious,
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I hope those words will come back to haunt them.
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I hope that people are aware of what sick, and terrible terrible hearts they hold inside.
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I don't know what else to say.
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[sigh]
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I wish I still felt safe.
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I tend to live sometimes with my head in the sand
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because otherwise I can't fucking deal with life.
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I can't fucking deal with the reality of racism,
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and sexism, and sizeism, and bigotry, and all of that.
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so I smile and I create my bubble of people who treat me well, and with respect,
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and I try to ignore this bullshit.
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And now it's at the heart of one of the communities that I call home.
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And sure, I've read that some people said "well it's not really an Eagle, they only have a leather night twice a week"
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Then why the fuck does it have the name "Eagle"?
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What the hell are you doing, leather folks, for letting that name remain on the bar?
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If it's not a leather bar, petition to have them change the goddamn name.
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Because to me, what Leather is about is about honesty and integrity and respect.
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And no integrity and zero respect is demonstrated in this situation.
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We need to do better.
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We need to fucking do better.
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There needs to be a world in which children, little girls, are not mocked by other people,
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[voice breaking] and then told that they need to laugh at it,
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it's not fucking funny.
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You wonder why we don't live as long as white people [laughing]
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It's probably because our blood pressure is spiking every other day because of shit like this.
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You know why I'm laughing?
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Not because its funny.
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But because it hurts so badly
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that I don't know what else to do.
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[sigh]
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This is the first day of Black History Month,
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and if anyone has any doubt or question as to why we need to talk about this forever and ever and ever amen,
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let that be answered now.
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Those of you who wish to erase,
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those of you who say "we can't move on from history until you let go and forget it",
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I cannot let go and forget it when it echos every day.
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Every day.
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I slept for about 2 hours last night because of this shit.
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I'm fuckin' tired.
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Probably not making much sense.
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But please, think about, think about racism, think about sexism, think about hatred and ignorance,
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think about the fact that people you call friends very well may think that its hilarious to put on blackface.
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because it's just a joke.
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That joke actually causes physical pain to people who see it.
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And it's not funny.
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And it's racist.
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And if you think it's funny,
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you're being racist.
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And if you think racism is cool,
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I'll pray for you.