(Jigglypuff) ♪ Jigglypuff, Jiggly-- ♪ (Ian) Shut up! (Ash) I can't believe I'm finally a Pokémon trainer! I'm gonna catch 'em all and nothing is gonna stand in my way! Hey, what the hell is this guy doing? Oh, that guy? He's just waiting to fight ya! What? I don't wanna fight him! Well, do you wanna get past him? Yeah. Well, then you gotta fight him, ya stupid jackass. God, none of you idiots know anything Pokémon! ♪ (cheerful tune) ♪ Boo! You looked at me funny! Let's battle! ♪ (battle tune) ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa! I don't wanna fight you! Too bad, you walked in front of me! Let's battle! ♪ (battle tune) ♪ No! I don't wanna fight anyone! I'm just here to catch Pokémon! (sighs) Look man, I've been standing here for five weeks straight waiting for somebody to walk by! Do not take this moment from me! Fine. Let's battle! ♪ (battle tune) ♪ METROSEXUAL HIPSTER wants to fight! I choose you, Pikachu! Pikachu! Heh! Is that all you've got? Go, Magikarp! Karp? Karp? All right, Magikarp, hit him with the splash attack! Karp? Karp? Karp? Karp? - Pika? - Karp? Alright, Pikachu! Use scratch! - Pika! - Kaaaarp! All right, now use thundershock! You can't go twice in a row! You have to wait for me to choose what attack I wanna do next! All you have is splash attack. Hold on, I'm thinking! Cannot capture enemy's Pokémon! Cannot run from a trainer battle! Son of a bitch... All right, Magikarp! Hit him with the splash attack! Karp? Karp? Alright, Pikachu! Annihilate him with a thundershock! Pikachuuuuuu! Enemy MAGIKARP has fainted! You got lucky this time. Here's 20 poke-dollars. Sweet! Now that that's out of the way, I can finally continue my quest to catch all... ♪ (dramatic music) ♪ Fu-- (Ian) To see bloopers from this video and more, click the link in the description below! - Pika...chu! - (gunshot) (Ian) Quick! Use subscribe attack by clicking the yellow button! ♪ (light cheerful tune) ♪ Ah yes, this music brings back fond memories of my childhood. I have a nostalgia boner right now.