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Lentelefilm

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The magical adventures of Mister Bilbo Bagins, the Hobbit

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Through wild land, black forest, for misty mountains.

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There and back again.

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The fairy tale

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of John Ronald Reuel Tolkien:
"Hobbit"

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Translation : N.Rachmanovoy

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There once lived

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In his hole in the ground

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A Hobbit

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Not in a damp dirty hole

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This hole was for Hobbits

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There are no magical things about Hobbits

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There dress in bright clothing, and don't wear shoes, as they naturally grow warm furry soles on their feet

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They have good natured faces, and they often laugh, especially after lunch

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And they lunch twice a day, if they can afford the luxury

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Our Hobbit, Bilbo Baggins, was certain that he would never encounter adventure in his life

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And that he would not permit the unexpected to occur to him

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But I will tell you a story on how he was pulled into these adventures, the very same ones he was trying to avoid

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And to his great surprise, he was commiting the very same adventuerous acts that he was trying so hard to avoid

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On a quiet, early morning

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A long time ago, when the world was more rich and green

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Bilbo Baggins, after breakfeast, sat on his doorstep and smoked his wooden pipe

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Good morning

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What are you trying to imply?

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Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is morning to be good on?

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The first, the second, and the third

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And a very very morning to be outdoors and breath the fresh air

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Please sit down and join me, we have nowhere to rush to, and the whole day is before us

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>> Gandalf: Very pretty!

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But I have no time today.

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I am looking for someone to share in an adventure

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that I am arranging, and it's very difficult to find anyone.

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>> Bilbo Baggins: I should think so - in these parts!

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We are Hobbits!

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We are a simple, quiet and peaceful people, and we don't like adventures

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From adventures come only nasty things, and only uneasiness

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If you wish to find someone else to partake in your adventures

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May I advise you to check over there by the lake, or over there over the hills

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Good morning!

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Oh, the many meanings one encounters upon hearing the phrase "Good Morning"

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That only could that it is time for me to leave!

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>> Bilbo Baggins: Not at all, not at all, my dear sir! Regrettably I do not even know your name

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Oh but you do know if it, dear sir!

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And I know yours, Mister Bilbo Baggins

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And you do know my name,

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though you don't remember that I belong to it.

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I am Gandalf.

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and Gandalf means me!

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>>Bilbo Baggins: How? You are Gandalf?

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Who would've known, eh?

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Could it really be, that you are the very Gandalf the travelling magician

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Who is credited to sending off countless young boys and girls on adventures, whom all dissapeared in locations unbeknownst to anyone?

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Well... I am truly sorry

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I did not consider that you may still be in buisness

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And what else is there for me to do?

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My mother, Belladona, she talked much of you and your adventures with Goblins, Giants, Princesses...

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Well, I must say it is pleasant that you do in fact remember some details of me

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This means that you are not completely useless

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And for the sake of your mother, I'll grant you that which you have asked of me

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Forgive me sir, but I have not asked you of any favours

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No, this is already the second time you have asked for my departure

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I'll be on my way

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Ah, thank you

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And go elsewhere

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I will certainly send you on my little adventure

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It will entertain me, and for you, it will be put you to good use

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Thank you, Mister Gandalf

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But I truly do not feel like going

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I am sorry, but perhaps... another time

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Don't misunderstand, you are of course welcome here at any time, say tomorrow

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Drink a cup of tea

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But regretfully not today, I am sorry

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Bilbo darted for his hole, to ease himself from such a outlandish conversation

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And immediately set on regaining his sanity with a few pastries and a glass of something warm

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On another day, right as Bilbo was enjoying some tea

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Someone disturbed his peace, loudly rining the doorbell

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Dwalin, at your service, greetings

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How do you do... Bilbo Baggins, at yours

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I uh... was right about to drink my tea at this very moment, care to join my table?

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Please, enter

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I see we have begun to arrive already

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Balin, at your service.
Bilbo Baggins, at yours

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Would you like to have some tea?
A glass of kvass would suit me better,

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if only you have any. But I don't mind some raisin cakes, if it's not too much trouble.

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Not at all!

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Excuse me

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Kili, at your service.
And Fili, too.

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Bilbo Baggins, at yours

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Dwalin and Balin here already, I see.
Yes. Please...

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Let's join the whole caboodle!

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I'm very glad...

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Someone else is coming

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There are many who go with the bell.

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Please take a seat

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It is not like you, Bilbo, to keep friends waiting on the mat. Let me introduce Bifur,

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And pay attention to Thorin

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Now we are all here! I hope there is something left for the late-comers to eat and drink!

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Of course!
What's that? --Tea

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Tea? No thank you! A mug of ale, I think, for me

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And gooseberry jam and apple-tart would be good

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Mince-pies!
Cabbage pies!

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More cakes! And pudding! A cup of coffee!
Two coffees!

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And just bring out the cold chicken!
Pickles!

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God damn those dwarves...
Okay, okay

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Chicken! Pickles!

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In just a half-hour all the Mr. Bilbo's food reserves had been consumed

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and the merry bunch lent their 26 hands to the hobbit to wash the dishes.

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Smash the plates!

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Smash the crocks!

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Blunt the forks and bend the knives!

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Smash the bottles against the floor!
Burn the napkins!

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An order at your command!

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Tear apart the cloth, dear guests,

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Splash the fat upon the chairs!

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Throw the bones and crusts on the floor,

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Smear the valuable parquet with mustard!

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Put glasses and cups in a boiling bowl

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Stir'em up with an iron bar!

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Put them out, dry them, and dump them all!

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Who's sitting around still?

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Adress yourself to the fragile crocks

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Meanwhile it became evening.
The stars were out in a dark sky above the trees.

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They sat around the chimney and were smoking their pipes

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Gandalf, dwarves and Mr. Baggins! We have come together in the house of our friend and fellow conspirator

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the most excellent and audacious hobbit to discuss our plans.

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Our object is, I take it, well known to us all. But perhaps to Mr. Baggins, may the hair on his toes never fall out

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and to some of the younger dwarves (I should be right in naming Kili and Fili), the situation at the moment may require some explanation

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So I explain. Very soon, before the break of day we will start on a long way, a dangerous journey

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from which many of us, or perhaps all of us, except our friend and counsellor, the ingenious wizard Gandalf

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I repeat, perhaps all of us, may never return

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Excitable little fellow
Gets queer fits

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But he is one of the best, as fierce as a dragon in a pinch.

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Will he do, do you think?

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It is all very well for Gandalf to talk about this hobbit being fierce

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I think he swooned from like fright!

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In fact, if it had not been for the magic sign on the door, I should have been sure we had come to the wrong house.

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Right after I saw him I had my doubts

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He looks more like a grocer than a burglar!

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Hush!

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A grocer? --A grocer.
A grocer?!

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I will show you. I will show you what I can do. A grocer!

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As soon as I saw your funny faces I was quite sure you have come to the wrong house

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But treat it as the right one

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A grocer!

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Tell me what you want done, and I will do what I can, whom ever I have to fight.

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I don't pretend to understand what you are talking about

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Especially your last reference to burglars

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That's right. I have chosen Mr. Baggins and that ought to be enough for all of you

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If I say he is a Burglar, a Burglar he is, or will be when the time comes

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Mind you that you cannot get into the Mountain's secret passage without burglary

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There is a lot more in Mr. Baggings than you think, and a deal more than he has any idea of himself

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You may yet to thank me yet, of course if you survive

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Brace yourself, Baggins. It is time to discuss our journey

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This is the map of the Old Thror, your grandfather, Thorin

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He was King under the Mountain

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In those days, Dwarves owned all the treasures of the Mountain

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and had peace and friendship with denizens of the Lake City.

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But a fearsome and cruel dragon called Smaug

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has burned down all the neighborhood.

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He took all the Dwarves' wealth for himself,
and has been living there since then, sowing the fear

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and taking the heavy contribution from the Lake City.

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But we Dwarves have never forgotten our stolen treasures.

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Especially the diamond named Arkenstone.

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Oh Arkenstone!

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The Heart of the Mountain!
And we still mean to get them back

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and to bring our curses home to Smaug
— if we can.

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Let us be on the road!

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And they began to sing a mysterious song of the Dwarves, which were accompanying them
throughout their entire journey.

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And the hobbit wished to to see the great mountains, to hear the pine trees and waterfalls,

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to explore the caves, to wear a sword instead
of walking stick.

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Yet he said to himself: "Don't be a fool, Bilbo,
thinking of dragons and all that outlandish
nonsense at your age!"

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But the taste for adventure overtook the poor hobbit, Mr. Bilbo Baggins.

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Far over the misty mountains cold
To dungeons deep and caverns old

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We must away ere break of day
To seek the pale enchanted gold.

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The dwarves of yore made mighty spells,
While hammers fell like ringing bells

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In places deep, where dark things sleep,
In hollow halls beneath the fells.

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The bells were ringing in the dale
And men looked up with faces pale;

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The dragon's ire more fierce than fire
Laid low their towers and houses frail.

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The mountain smoked beneath the moon;
The dwarves, they heard the tramp of doom.

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They fled their hall to dying-fall
Beneath his feet, beneath the moon.

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Far over the misty mountains grim
To dungeons deep and caverns dim

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We must away, ere break of day,
To win our harps and gold from him!

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Long days and many miles had they left behind.

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It was a hard path and a dangerous, long path.

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One day, they were high up in a narrow place, with a
dreadful fall at one side of them.

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They met a thunderstorm. You know how
terrific are thunder and lightning
in the mountains at night

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when storms come up from East and West
and make war.


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It's very dangerous to be here.

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If we don't get blown off or drowned,
we could be picked up by some giant and kicked sky-high for a football.

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— Well, if you know of anywhere better, take us there!

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— We need the send someone to look for a better shelter

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— I'm very tired!
— And I'm afraid to fall down in the chasm!

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— We need to send the youngest of us.
— That's fair.

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— Yeah right. Those are always us.

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— Why did we took a hobbit with us?
That is his duty, let him do scouting.

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— I'm rather new to mountains

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— Enough bickering already!
Fili and Kili, go while we aren't
stricken by lightning still.

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— There is nothing like looking,
if you want to find something. Go, go!

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You certainly usually find something, if you look,
but it is not always quite the something you were after.

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So it proved on this occasion. That is the dangerous part
about caves: you don't know what is waiting for you inside.

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The whole company fell asleep while enjoying the warmth.