0:00:01.389,0:00:03.873
So when I do my job, people hate me.

0:00:04.786,0:00:07.315
In fact, the better I do my job,

0:00:07.340,0:00:08.666
the more people hate me.

0:00:09.145,0:00:11.071
And no, I'm not a meter maid,

0:00:11.096,0:00:12.891
and I'm not an undertaker.

0:00:13.130,0:00:17.051
I am a progressive, lesbian[br]talking head on Fox News.

0:00:17.076,0:00:19.138
(Applause)

0:00:19.163,0:00:21.654
So y'all heard that, right?[br]Just to make sure, right?

0:00:21.679,0:00:24.757
I am a gay talking head on Fox News.

0:00:24.906,0:00:26.595
I am going to tell you how I do it,

0:00:26.621,0:00:28.747
and the most important thing I've learned.

0:00:28.842,0:00:30.247
So I go on television.

0:00:30.544,0:00:34.639
I debate people who literally want[br]to obliterate everything I believe in --

0:00:34.664,0:00:38.584
in some cases, who don't want[br]me and people like me to even exist.

0:00:38.877,0:00:41.735
It's sort of like Thanksgiving[br]with your conservative uncle

0:00:42.008,0:00:43.338
on steroids,

0:00:43.537,0:00:46.908
with a live television[br]audience of millions.

0:00:46.933,0:00:49.004
It's totally almost just like that.

0:00:49.242,0:00:51.362
And that's just on air.

0:00:51.387,0:00:53.646
The hate mail I get is unbelievable.

0:00:53.671,0:00:58.631
Last week alone, I got 238[br]pieces of nasty email

0:00:58.801,0:01:01.591
and more hate tweets[br]than I can even count.

0:01:01.718,0:01:04.869
I was called an idiot,[br]a traitor, a scourge,

0:01:05.107,0:01:07.595
a cunt and an ugly man,

0:01:07.715,0:01:09.242
and that was just in one email.

0:01:09.377,0:01:12.131
(Laughter)

0:01:12.195,0:01:14.893
So what have I realized,

0:01:14.978,0:01:17.549
being on the receiving end[br]of all this ugliness?

0:01:17.739,0:01:19.373
Well, my biggest takeaway

0:01:19.398,0:01:23.381
is that for decades, we've been focused[br]on political correctness,

0:01:23.633,0:01:27.413
but what matters more[br]is emotional correctness.

0:01:27.993,0:01:29.564
Let me give you a small example.

0:01:29.842,0:01:32.548
I don't care if you call me a dyke.[br]I really don't.

0:01:32.687,0:01:34.045
I care about two things.

0:01:34.070,0:01:36.612
One, I care that you spell it right.

0:01:36.728,0:01:41.681
(Laughter) (Applause)

0:01:41.706,0:01:45.104
Just quick refresher, it's D-Y-K-E.

0:01:45.358,0:01:47.602
You'd totally be surprised.

0:01:48.247,0:01:51.493
And second, I don't care about the word,[br]I care about how you use it.

0:01:51.518,0:01:53.842
Are you being friendly?[br]Are you just being naive?

0:01:53.997,0:01:56.651
Or do you really want[br]to hurt me personally?

0:01:57.885,0:02:02.278
Emotional correctness[br]is the tone, the feeling,

0:02:02.407,0:02:04.367
how we say what we say,

0:02:04.392,0:02:07.097
the respect and compassion[br]we show one another.

0:02:07.751,0:02:10.256
And what I've realized[br]is that political persuasion

0:02:10.424,0:02:14.129
doesn't begin with ideas or facts or data.

0:02:14.335,0:02:17.851
Political persuasion begins[br]with being emotionally correct.

0:02:18.680,0:02:21.216
So when I first went[br]to go work at Fox News,

0:02:21.241,0:02:22.438
true confession,

0:02:22.718,0:02:25.359
I expected there to be marks in the carpet

0:02:25.384,0:02:27.295
from all the knuckle-dragging.

0:02:27.930,0:02:31.605
That, by the way, in case you're paying[br]attention, is not emotionally correct.

0:02:31.630,0:02:34.661
But liberals on my side,

0:02:35.033,0:02:38.563
we can be self-righteous,[br]we can be condescending,

0:02:38.588,0:02:41.262
we can be dismissive of anyone[br]who doesn't agree with us.

0:02:41.385,0:02:44.050
In other words, we can[br]be politically right

0:02:44.199,0:02:46.349
but emotionally wrong.

0:02:47.068,0:02:51.865
And incidentally, that means that[br]people don't like us. Right?

0:02:53.087,0:02:54.318
Now here's the kicker.

0:02:55.003,0:02:57.072
Conservatives are really nice.

0:02:57.611,0:02:59.068
I mean, not all of them,

0:02:59.092,0:03:00.952
and not the ones who send me hate mail,

0:03:00.977,0:03:02.364
but you would be surprised.

0:03:02.616,0:03:05.798
Sean Hannity is one of[br]the sweetest guys I've ever met.

0:03:06.910,0:03:10.790
He spends his free time[br]trying to fix up his staff on blind dates,

0:03:11.089,0:03:13.068
and I know that if I ever had a problem,

0:03:13.187,0:03:15.179
he would do anything he could to help.

0:03:15.896,0:03:20.697
Now, I think Sean Hannity[br]is 99 percent politically wrong,

0:03:21.057,0:03:24.253
but his emotional correctness[br]is strikingly impressive.

0:03:24.458,0:03:26.227
And that's why people listen to him.

0:03:26.460,0:03:28.624
Because you can't get[br]anyone to agree with you

0:03:29.016,0:03:30.957
if they don't even listen to you first.

0:03:31.792,0:03:34.513
We spend so much time[br]talking past each other

0:03:34.828,0:03:37.513
and not enough time talking[br]through our disagreements.

0:03:37.871,0:03:41.307
And if we can start to find[br]compassion for one another,

0:03:41.710,0:03:44.458
then we have a shot[br]at building common ground.

0:03:45.792,0:03:48.982
It actually sounds really hokey[br]to say it standing up here,

0:03:49.284,0:03:51.268
but when you try to put it in practice,

0:03:51.487,0:03:52.887
it's really powerful.

0:03:53.345,0:03:55.895
So someone who says they hate immigrants,

0:03:56.224,0:03:58.609
I try to imagine how scared they must be

0:03:58.687,0:04:01.734
that their community is changing[br]from what they've always known.

0:04:01.759,0:04:04.964
Or someone who says they[br]don't like teachers' unions,

0:04:05.237,0:04:09.006
I bet they're really devastated to see[br]their kid's school going into the gutter,

0:04:09.031,0:04:11.181
and they're just looking[br]for someone to blame.

0:04:11.879,0:04:15.807
Our challenge is to find[br]the compassion for others

0:04:16.130,0:04:17.902
that we want them to have for us.

0:04:18.690,0:04:20.942
That is emotional correctness.

0:04:21.737,0:04:22.982
I'm not saying it's easy.

0:04:23.267,0:04:26.316
An average of, like, 5.6 times per day

0:04:26.341,0:04:29.158
I have to stop myself from responding[br]to all of my hate mail

0:04:29.183,0:04:31.499
with a flurry of vile profanities.

0:04:31.949,0:04:38.147
This whole finding compassion[br]and common ground with your enemies thing

0:04:38.172,0:04:41.250
is kind of like a political-spiritual[br]practice for me,

0:04:41.584,0:04:43.972
and I ain't the Dalai Lama.

0:04:44.516,0:04:49.309
I'm not perfect,[br]but what I am is optimistic.

0:04:50.381,0:04:52.396
Because I don't just get hate mail.

0:04:52.791,0:04:55.452
I get a lot of really nice[br]letters, lots of them.

0:04:56.039,0:04:58.127
And one of my all-time favorites begins:

0:04:58.601,0:05:01.124
"I am not a big fan[br]of your political leanings

0:05:01.294,0:05:03.151
or your sometimes tortured logic,

0:05:03.569,0:05:05.960
(Laughter)

0:05:07.222,0:05:09.150
but I'm a big fan of you as a person."

0:05:10.611,0:05:13.230
Now this guy doesn't[br]agree with me -- yet.

0:05:13.940,0:05:16.832
(Laughter)

0:05:17.456,0:05:19.376
But he's listening --

0:05:19.719,0:05:22.782
not because of what I said,[br]but because of how I said it.

0:05:23.084,0:05:26.726
And somehow, even though we've never met,[br]we've managed to form a connection.

0:05:27.083,0:05:29.020
That's emotional correctness,

0:05:29.313,0:05:31.974
and that's how we start the conversations

0:05:32.102,0:05:33.718
that really lead to change.

0:05:33.962,0:05:35.115
Thank you.

0:05:35.140,0:05:39.968
(Applause)