0:00:04.352,0:00:07.716
What is love?

0:00:07.716,0:00:09.377
It's a hard term to define

0:00:09.377,0:00:13.812
in so far as it has[br]a very wide application.

0:00:13.812,0:00:15.667
I can love jogging,

0:00:15.667,0:00:17.677
I can love a book, a movie.

0:00:17.677,0:00:20.594
I can love escalopes...

0:00:20.594,0:00:22.527
I can love my wife.

0:00:22.527,0:00:27.378
(Laughter)

0:00:27.378,0:00:32.211
But there's a great difference [br]between an escalope and my wife,

0:00:32.211,0:00:35.594
for instance.

0:00:35.594,0:00:38.737
That is, if I value the escalope,

0:00:38.737,0:00:44.712
the escalope, on the other hand,[br]it doesn't value me back.

0:00:44.712,0:00:48.229
Whereas my wife, she calls me

0:00:48.229,0:00:52.041
the star of her life.

0:00:52.041,0:00:54.832
Therefore, only another[br]desiring conscience

0:00:54.832,0:00:57.541
can conceive me as a desirable being.

0:00:57.541,0:00:59.336
I know this, that's why

0:00:59.336,0:01:01.559
love can be defined in a more accurate way

0:01:01.559,0:01:05.915
as the desire of being desired.

0:01:05.915,0:01:08.741
Hence the eternal problem of love:

0:01:08.741,0:01:14.500
how to become and remain desirable?

0:01:14.500,0:01:18.413
Once, the individual would find

0:01:18.413,0:01:20.677
an answer to this problem

0:01:20.677,0:01:23.774
by submitting his life to community rules.

0:01:23.774,0:01:25.543
they had a specific part to play

0:01:25.543,0:01:28.126
according to their sex, their age,

0:01:28.126,0:01:31.555
their social status, [br]and they only had to play their part

0:01:31.555,0:01:35.703
to be valued and loved[br]by the whole community.

0:01:35.703,0:01:37.109
Think about the young maiden

0:01:37.109,0:01:39.313
that must remain chaste[br]before the wedding.

0:01:39.313,0:01:43.279
Think about the youngest son [br]who must obey the eldest son,

0:01:43.279,0:01:49.692
who in turn must obey the patriarch.

0:01:49.692,0:01:53.979
But a phenomenon

0:01:53.979,0:01:57.864
started in the 13th century,

0:01:57.864,0:02:01.466
and happened mainly[br]in the Renaissance in the West.

0:02:01.466,0:02:04.215
It caused the biggest identity crisis

0:02:04.215,0:02:06.965
in the history of humankind.

0:02:06.965,0:02:08.958
This phenomenon is modernity.

0:02:08.958,0:02:10.525
We can basically summarize it

0:02:10.525,0:02:13.277
by a triple process. First,

0:02:13.277,0:02:18.076
a rationalization process[br]of scientific research,

0:02:18.076,0:02:20.530
that has accelerated technical progress.

0:02:20.530,0:02:25.394
Next, a political democratization process,

0:02:25.394,0:02:28.277
that has developed individual rights.

0:02:28.277,0:02:32.897
And finally, a rationalization process [br]of the economic production

0:02:32.897,0:02:35.889
and of trade liberalization.

0:02:35.889,0:02:38.725
These three intertwined processes

0:02:38.725,0:02:41.396
have completely annihilated[br]all the traditional

0:02:41.396,0:02:45.179
markers of the Western societies.

0:02:45.179,0:02:47.727
It brings a radical consequence[br]for the individual.

0:02:47.727,0:02:50.688
Now, the individual is free

0:02:50.688,0:02:54.092
to value or devalue

0:02:54.092,0:02:58.097
this attitude, this choice, this object.

0:02:58.097,0:03:02.852
But as a result, their own self

0:03:02.852,0:03:06.672
is confronted to this[br]same freedom that others have

0:03:06.672,0:03:11.092
to value or devalue them.

0:03:11.092,0:03:14.802
In other words, my former value

0:03:14.802,0:03:19.791
was ensured by submitting myself [br]to the traditional authorities.

0:03:19.791,0:03:24.752
Now, it is quoted in the stock exchange.

0:03:24.752,0:03:30.019
On the free market of individual desires

0:03:30.019,0:03:34.203
I negotiate my value every day.

0:03:34.203,0:03:37.035
Hence the contemporary man's anguish.

0:03:37.035,0:03:40.690
His obsession: "Am I desirable? How much?

0:03:40.690,0:03:43.497
How many people are going to love me?"

0:03:43.497,0:03:46.171
How does he respond to this anguish?

0:03:46.171,0:03:50.241
Well, by hysterically accumulating

0:03:50.241,0:03:54.817
the symbols of desirability.

0:03:56.278,0:04:00.060
(Laughter)

0:04:00.060,0:04:01.704
I call this accumulation,

0:04:01.704,0:04:05.181
along with others, the seduction capital.

0:04:05.181,0:04:08.102
Indeed, our consumer society[br]is largely based

0:04:08.102,0:04:12.339
on the seduction capital.

0:04:12.339,0:04:16.819
It is said about consumption [br]that our age is materialistic.

0:04:16.819,0:04:20.721
But it's not true! We accumulate objects

0:04:20.721,0:04:23.486
in order to communicate with other minds.

0:04:23.486,0:04:27.918
We do it to make them love us,[br]to seduce them.

0:04:27.918,0:04:32.470
Nothing is less materialistic[br]or more sentimental

0:04:32.470,0:04:35.479
than a teenager buying brand new jeans

0:04:35.479,0:04:39.079
and tearing it at the knees,

0:04:39.079,0:04:41.468
because he wants to please Jennifer.

0:04:41.468,0:04:43.625
(Laughter)

0:04:43.625,0:04:46.971
Consumerism is not materialism.

0:04:46.971,0:04:49.369
It is rather engulfed matter,

0:04:49.369,0:04:52.439
sacrificed in the name of the Love god,

0:04:52.439,0:04:56.870
or rather in the name[br]of the seduction capital.

0:04:56.870,0:05:02.066
In the light of this observation[br]on today's love,

0:05:02.066,0:05:05.274
how can we think the love[br]of the years to come?

0:05:05.274,0:05:07.773
We can envision two hypotheses.

0:05:07.773,0:05:12.324
The first one consists[br]in betting on an intensification

0:05:12.324,0:05:16.373
of the narcissistic capitalisation process.

0:05:16.373,0:05:20.040
It is hard to say what shape[br]this intensification will take,

0:05:20.040,0:05:21.987
because it largely depends

0:05:21.987,0:05:25.078
on social and technical innovations,

0:05:25.078,0:05:29.909
which are, by definition,[br]difficult to predict.

0:05:29.909,0:05:31.904
But we can, for instance,

0:05:31.904,0:05:35.274
imagine a dating website

0:05:35.274,0:05:39.221
which, a bit like the fidelity programs,

0:05:39.221,0:05:42.582
works with seduction capital points

0:05:42.582,0:05:46.608
that vary according to my age,[br]my height/weight ratio,

0:05:46.608,0:05:49.209
my degree, my salary,

0:05:49.209,0:05:53.042
or the number of clicks[br]collected on my profile.

0:05:53.042,0:05:57.159
We can also imagine

0:05:57.159,0:06:00.594
a chemical treatment for breakups

0:06:00.594,0:06:03.842
that weakens the attachment feeling.

0:06:03.842,0:06:07.315
By the way, there's a program[br]on MTV already

0:06:07.315,0:06:12.360
in which seduction teachers

0:06:12.360,0:06:16.355
treat heartache as a disease.

0:06:16.355,0:06:20.273
These teachers call themselves[br]"pick-up artists".

0:06:20.273,0:06:23.532
"Artist" in French is easy,[br]it means "artiste".

0:06:23.532,0:06:26.213
To "pick-up" is to pick up someone,

0:06:26.213,0:06:28.468
but it's about picking up chicks.

0:06:28.468,0:06:32.383
So they are artists at picking up chicks.

0:06:32.383,0:06:34.301
(Laughter)

0:06:34.301,0:06:38.955
And they call heartache "one-itis".

0:06:38.955,0:06:43.120
In English, "itis" is a suffix[br]that means infection.

0:06:43.120,0:06:46.353
One-itis can be translated[br]as "the infection of the one".

0:06:46.353,0:06:51.015
It's a bit disgusting.[br]Indeed, for the pick-up artists,

0:06:51.015,0:06:54.956
falling in love with someone

0:06:54.956,0:06:58.136
is a waste of time,[br]it's squandering your seduction capital.

0:06:58.136,0:07:03.499
So it must be eliminated like a disease,[br]an infection.

0:07:03.499,0:07:06.532
We can also envision

0:07:06.532,0:07:10.565
an amorous use of the genomic map.

0:07:10.565,0:07:13.938
Everyone would carry it around

0:07:13.938,0:07:17.246
and present it like a business card

0:07:17.246,0:07:22.286
to verify if seduction can develop[br]into reproduction.

0:07:22.286,0:07:25.714
(Laughter)

0:07:25.714,0:07:30.000
Certainly this seduction rush,

0:07:30.000,0:07:35.303
like every fierce competition, will entail

0:07:35.303,0:07:38.097
big disparities[br]in narcissistic satisfaction,

0:07:38.097,0:07:41.259
and therefore a lot of loneliness[br]and frustration too.

0:07:41.259,0:07:43.117
So we can expect that modernity itself,

0:07:43.117,0:07:45.300
when the seduction capital[br]comes into being,

0:07:45.300,0:07:49.120
from which the seduction capital[br]originates, to be challenged.

0:07:49.120,0:07:52.151
I'm thinking particularly[br]of the communitarian reactions

0:07:52.151,0:07:56.895
of a neo-fascist or religious type.

0:07:56.895,0:08:03.131
But such a future doesn't have to be.

0:08:03.131,0:08:08.568
Another path to think about love[br]may be possible.

0:08:08.568,0:08:10.212
But how?

0:08:10.212,0:08:14.880
How to renounce the hysterical need[br]to be valued?

0:08:14.880,0:08:17.780
Well, by becoming aware

0:08:17.780,0:08:20.864
of my uselessness.[br](Laughter)

0:08:20.864,0:08:22.080
Yes,

0:08:22.080,0:08:24.263
I'm useless.

0:08:24.263,0:08:25.996
But rest assured:

0:08:25.996,0:08:27.366
so are you.

0:08:27.366,0:08:29.700
(Laughter)

0:08:29.700,0:08:33.813
(Applause)

0:08:33.813,0:08:37.876
We are all useless.

0:08:37.876,0:08:40.676
This uselessness[br]is pretty easy to demonstrate,

0:08:40.676,0:08:44.123
because to be valued

0:08:44.123,0:08:46.997
I need another to desire me,

0:08:46.997,0:08:49.148
which implies that I do not have[br]any value by myself.

0:08:49.148,0:08:52.766
I don't have any value in myself.

0:08:52.766,0:08:57.013
We all pretend to have an idol.

0:08:57.013,0:09:00.178
We all pretend to be someone's idol,[br]but actually

0:09:00.178,0:09:03.646
we are all impostors,[br]a bit like the man who goes by

0:09:03.646,0:09:06.736
lording it indifferently[br]over everyone in the street,

0:09:06.736,0:09:09.469
while he has actually anticipated[br]and calculated

0:09:09.469,0:09:13.074
everything so that all eyes are on him.

0:09:13.074,0:09:14.982
I think that becoming aware

0:09:14.982,0:09:17.312
of this general imposture

0:09:17.312,0:09:18.704
that concerns all of us

0:09:18.704,0:09:20.386
would pacify our love relationships.

0:09:20.386,0:09:22.684
It is because I want to be loved

0:09:22.684,0:09:23.842
from head to toe,

0:09:23.842,0:09:25.940
and to be justified in my every choice,

0:09:25.940,0:09:29.081
that seduction hysteria exists.

0:09:29.081,0:09:31.559
And therefore I want to look perfect

0:09:31.559,0:09:33.256
so that another can love me.

0:09:33.256,0:09:34.768
I want them to be perfect

0:09:34.768,0:09:36.740
so that they can reassure me[br]about my value.

0:09:36.740,0:09:39.927
and it leads to couples obsessed

0:09:39.927,0:09:41.327
with performance

0:09:41.327,0:09:43.129
who will break up precisely

0:09:43.129,0:09:46.160
at the slightest underachievement.

0:09:46.160,0:09:49.498
In contrast to this attitude,

0:09:49.498,0:09:52.914
I call upon tenderness,[br]upon love as tenderness.

0:09:52.914,0:09:54.697
What is tenderness?

0:09:54.697,0:09:58.647
To be tender is to accept[br]the loved one's weaknesses.

0:09:58.647,0:10:01.366
It's not about becoming a sad couple

0:10:01.366,0:10:04.499
of orderlies.[br](Laughter)

0:10:04.499,0:10:06.331
There's plenty

0:10:06.331,0:10:09.082
of charm and happiness in tenderness.

0:10:09.082,0:10:12.685
I refer specifically to a kind of humour[br]that is unfortunately uncommon.

0:10:12.685,0:10:15.731
It is a sort of poetry[br]of unabashed clumsiness.

0:10:15.731,0:10:18.896
I refer to self-mockery.

0:10:18.896,0:10:21.056
For a couple who is no longer sustained,[br]supported

0:10:21.056,0:10:23.564
by the constraints of tradition,

0:10:23.564,0:10:25.173
I believe that self-mockery

0:10:25.173,0:10:28.357
is one of the best means[br]for the relationship to last.

0:10:28.357,0:10:29.791
There is a lot of beauty

0:10:29.791,0:10:33.211
and humanity in the fact of understanding

0:10:33.211,0:10:36.952
that I am too small, too mediocre

0:10:36.952,0:10:41.197
to confront the other and harm them,[br]and vice versa.

0:10:41.197,0:10:43.860
In this regard,[br]I would like to conclude this talk

0:10:43.860,0:10:47.250
letting you contemplate and meditate

0:10:47.250,0:10:49.995
on a sentence that you may already know,

0:10:49.995,0:10:52.687
but I believe it really deserves to be

0:10:52.687,0:10:55.298
rediscovered everyday:

0:10:55.298,0:11:01.919
♪ Us mere nothings should not be tearing♪

0:11:01.919,0:11:03.519
♪ each other apart ♪

0:11:03.519,0:11:04.319
♪ Music! ♪

0:11:04.319,0:11:05.120
(Applause)