0:00:19.700,0:00:22.400
Life asks us questions.

0:00:23.526,0:00:26.913
And probably one of the most important[br]questions it asks us is,

0:00:27.800,0:00:32.475
"What are you going to do[br]about difficult thoughts and feelings?"

0:00:34.200,0:00:37.671
If you're feeling ashamed or anxious,

0:00:40.200,0:00:42.428
life just asked you a question.

0:00:43.750,0:00:46.520
If you're standing here[br]about to give a [TEDx] talk

0:00:46.520,0:00:48.500
and your mind is getting very chattery,

0:00:50.200,0:00:52.589
what are you going to do about that?

0:00:55.100,0:00:56.434
Good question.

0:00:56.434,0:00:58.000
(Laughter)

0:00:59.300,0:01:01.500
And the answer to that question

0:01:01.500,0:01:03.294
and ones like it

0:01:03.400,0:01:05.683
say a lot about the trajectories[br]of our lives

0:01:05.800,0:01:07.670
whether or not they're going to unfold

0:01:07.670,0:01:09.170
in a positive way

0:01:09.170,0:01:13.240
that moves toward, towards prosperity,[br]love, freedom, contribution,

0:01:13.240,0:01:16.437
or downward, into pathology and despair.

0:01:19.700,0:01:24.663
And I'm here to make the argument[br]that you have within you

0:01:25.100,0:01:27.200
a great answer to that question

0:01:27.200,0:01:29.032
or at least the seed of it.

0:01:29.800,0:01:31.812
But, you also have this arrogant,

0:01:31.900,0:01:35.400
storytelling, problem solving, analytic,

0:01:35.400,0:01:40.506
judgmental mind between your ears[br]that doesn't have the answer

0:01:40.800,0:01:43.400
and is constantly tempting you

0:01:43.500,0:01:46.399
into taking the wrong direction.

0:01:49.500,0:01:51.150
My name is Steve Hayes

0:01:51.150,0:01:53.300
and for the last 30 years,

0:01:53.300,0:01:55.900
I and my colleagues have been studying

0:01:55.900,0:01:58.700
a small set of psychological processes -

0:01:59.500,0:02:01.800
fancy words for things people do -

0:02:02.500,0:02:05.300
called psychological flexibility.

0:02:06.600,0:02:10.502
It's a set of answers to that question.

0:02:11.900,0:02:14.800
And in more than a thousand studies,

0:02:14.800,0:02:17.650
we've shown[br]that psychological flexibility

0:02:17.650,0:02:20.403
predicts are you going to develop[br]a mental health problem

0:02:20.403,0:02:22.300
anxiety, depression, trauma?

0:02:22.300,0:02:24.582
If you have one it predicts,

0:02:24.600,0:02:26.585
later on will you have two?

0:02:26.800,0:02:28.718
It predicts how severe they are,

0:02:28.718,0:02:29.980
how chronic they'll be.

0:02:29.980,0:02:31.240
But, not just that,

0:02:31.240,0:02:34.270
it predicts all kinds of other things[br]that are important to us

0:02:34.270,0:02:36.900
even though it's not psychopathology.

0:02:36.900,0:02:40.619
Such as, what kind of parent[br]are you going to be?

0:02:41.336,0:02:43.310
What kind of worker are you going to be?

0:02:43.310,0:02:46.819
Can you step up to the behavioral[br]challenges of physical disease?

0:02:46.906,0:02:49.660
Can you stick to your exercise program?

0:02:49.700,0:02:52.778
Everywhere that human minds go,

0:02:53.500,0:02:57.481
psychological flexibility is relevant.

0:02:59.900,0:03:03.473
And what I want to do in this talk

0:03:04.273,0:03:05.900
is to walk you through

0:03:05.900,0:03:08.100
the science of psychological flexibility,

0:03:08.100,0:03:09.200
because we've learned

0:03:09.200,0:03:12.100
how to change these processes

0:03:12.381,0:03:14.767
in several hundred studies

0:03:15.040,0:03:16.900
using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

0:03:16.900,0:03:18.750
or ACT, but not just ACT,

0:03:18.750,0:03:20.900
related methods that target flexibility

0:03:20.900,0:03:22.860
we've shown that we can change it

0:03:22.860,0:03:24.250
and when we change it,

0:03:24.250,0:03:26.270
those life trajectories that are negative

0:03:26.270,0:03:28.406
go positive[br]with outcomes in all the areas

0:03:28.406,0:03:31.742
that I just mentioned and many more.

0:03:34.100,0:03:36.200
So, I want to walk you through

0:03:36.200,0:03:40.536
what the elements[br]of psychological flexibility are.

0:03:42.500,0:03:44.995
And I'm going to take you back

0:03:45.100,0:03:47.800
to a moment in my life 34 years ago

0:03:48.800,0:03:51.729
where I first turned powerfully

0:03:51.860,0:03:53.465
in their direction.

0:03:55.400,0:03:57.200
Decades ago.

0:03:57.700,0:04:01.045
Thirty-four years ago at 2 in the morning

0:04:01.200,0:04:03.882
on a brown and gold shag carpet

0:04:04.000,0:04:07.418
with my body almost literally[br]in this posture,

0:04:07.418,0:04:10.257
and my mind for sure in this posture.

0:04:11.200,0:04:14.512
I had for two to three years

0:04:15.400,0:04:17.482
been spiraling down

0:04:17.700,0:04:20.499
into the hell of panic disorder.

0:04:22.600,0:04:24.900
It began in a horrific department meeting

0:04:24.900,0:04:26.700
where I was forced to watch

0:04:26.700,0:04:28.875
full professors fight

0:04:29.000,0:04:31.300
in a way that only wild animals

0:04:31.300,0:04:33.600
and full professors are capable of.

0:04:33.700,0:04:36.300
(Laughter)

0:04:38.700,0:04:42.239
And all I wanted to do[br]was to beg them to stop,

0:04:43.600,0:04:47.200
but instead I had my first panic attack,

0:04:47.200,0:04:50.676
and by the time they called on me,

0:04:53.700,0:04:56.400
I couldn't even make a sound

0:04:57.100,0:04:59.289
come out of my mouth.

0:04:59.908,0:05:02.520
And in the shock, and the horror,[br]and embarrassment

0:05:02.520,0:05:05.770
of that first and public panic attack,

0:05:07.600,0:05:09.900
I did all of the logical, reasonable,

0:05:09.900,0:05:11.800
sensible, and pathological things

0:05:11.800,0:05:13.577
your mind tells you to do.

0:05:14.600,0:05:17.475
I tried to run from anxiety;

0:05:17.900,0:05:20.756
I tried to fight with anxiety;

0:05:21.400,0:05:24.115
and I tried to hide from anxiety.

0:05:24.600,0:05:26.100
I sat next to the door.

0:05:26.100,0:05:27.380
I watched its coming.

0:05:27.380,0:05:28.910
I argued my way out of it.

0:05:28.910,0:05:30.370
I took the tranquilizers

0:05:30.370,0:05:32.030
and as I did all those things,

0:05:32.030,0:05:34.056
the panic attacks increased

0:05:34.100,0:05:36.627
in frequency and in intensity.

0:05:38.300,0:05:39.799
First at work,

0:05:40.200,0:05:42.176
but then while traveling,

0:05:42.550,0:05:43.900
and then in restaurants,

0:05:43.900,0:05:45.260
and then in movie theaters,

0:05:45.260,0:05:46.500
and then in elevators,

0:05:46.500,0:05:48.380
and then on phone calls,

0:05:48.900,0:05:51.500
and then in the safety of home,

0:05:51.900,0:05:55.200
and finally even being awakened

0:05:55.900,0:05:59.000
at two in the morning from a dead sleep

0:05:59.200,0:06:01.500
already in a panic attack.

0:06:03.500,0:06:07.521
But, this night[br]on that brown and gold shag carpet,

0:06:09.193,0:06:11.000
this night,

0:06:11.000,0:06:14.485
as I watched with anxiety waves,

0:06:16.000,0:06:18.042
my body's sensations

0:06:18.100,0:06:19.200
was different.

0:06:19.200,0:06:22.700
This night was even more horrifying,

0:06:22.700,0:06:25.200
but it was somehow satisfying,

0:06:27.100,0:06:30.000
because I wasn't having a panic attack.

0:06:31.300,0:06:34.887
I was dying of a heart attack.

0:06:36.700,0:06:38.300
I had all the evidence for it.

0:06:38.300,0:06:39.900
I had the weight in the chest.

0:06:39.900,0:06:42.310
I had the shooting pains down my arm.

0:06:42.310,0:06:43.800
I was sweating profusely.

0:06:43.800,0:06:46.960
My heart was racing[br]and skipping beats wildly.

0:06:47.000,0:06:49.700
And that same spider voice that came up

0:06:49.700,0:06:51.800
and said, "You've got to run.

0:06:51.800,0:06:55.617
You've got to fight.[br]You've got to hide from anxiety,"

0:06:55.617,0:06:58.000
was now telling me,

0:06:58.000,0:06:59.320
"Make the call.

0:06:59.320,0:07:01.500
You can't drive in this condition.

0:07:02.000,0:07:03.512
You're dying.

0:07:03.700,0:07:05.100
Call the emergency room.

0:07:05.100,0:07:06.620
Call the ambulance.

0:07:06.620,0:07:09.200
This is not a joke. Make the call."

0:07:11.200,0:07:13.969
And yet, minute after minute went by

0:07:14.500,0:07:16.596
and I didn't make the call.

0:07:17.700,0:07:19.800
And I had a sense of leaving my body

0:07:19.800,0:07:22.700
and looking back at myself there

0:07:24.180,0:07:25.800
and I imagined what would happen

0:07:25.800,0:07:28.100
if I did make that call.

0:07:29.150,0:07:30.300
Like a series of scenes,

0:07:30.300,0:07:32.200
little snippets like in a movie trailer

0:07:32.200,0:07:33.690
like when you go to the theater

0:07:33.700,0:07:35.519
for the upcoming film.

0:07:36.950,0:07:39.840
I could hear the sound[br]of the emergency responders

0:07:39.840,0:07:41.310
coming up the stairs,

0:07:41.310,0:07:43.778
the pounding on the thin hollow door,

0:07:44.800,0:07:46.839
the ride in the ambulance,

0:07:47.100,0:07:48.400
the tubes and wires,

0:07:48.400,0:07:51.133
the concerned look[br]on the faces of the nurses

0:07:51.133,0:07:53.450
as I went into the emergency room,

0:07:54.700,0:07:57.100
and then finally the last little snippet,

0:07:57.100,0:07:58.300
the last little scene

0:07:58.300,0:08:00.160
in this movie trailer,

0:08:00.200,0:08:01.600
where I suddenly realized

0:08:01.600,0:08:03.700
what this movie was going to be about.

0:08:05.770,0:08:07.200
And I looked at it and I said,

0:08:07.200,0:08:09.090
"Oh, please, God, not that.

0:08:09.100,0:08:11.200
Please, please."

0:08:13.300,0:08:14.910
Because that final scene,

0:08:14.910,0:08:17.340
lying on the gurney in the emergency room,

0:08:17.340,0:08:19.200
here came a young doctor

0:08:19.200,0:08:20.800
in my mind's eye

0:08:20.800,0:08:23.090
walking entirely too casually.

0:08:25.760,0:08:27.280
And as he got close to me,

0:08:27.280,0:08:29.560
I could see there was a smirk on his face,

0:08:31.100,0:08:32.882
and I knew what was coming.

0:08:35.299,0:08:36.918
He got close and he said,

0:08:37.000,0:08:38.758
"Dr. Hayes,

0:08:40.799,0:08:43.000
you're not having a heart attack,"

0:08:43.900,0:08:45.700
and then the smirk broadened,

0:08:47.300,0:08:49.231
"You're having a panic attack."

0:08:51.700,0:08:54.362
And I knew that was true.

0:08:56.200,0:08:59.891
This was just another level down of hell.

0:09:01.100,0:09:03.156
And a scream came out of my mouth,

0:09:03.300,0:09:07.508
a weird breathly, strange sounding thing.

0:09:09.300,0:09:11.105
It sounded just like this.

0:09:12.900,0:09:16.600
(Screams)

0:09:20.100,0:09:22.600
And as I bounced off the bottom,

0:09:23.200,0:09:24.700
another door opened.

0:09:27.760,0:09:29.200
I don't know how long it was,

0:09:29.200,0:09:31.439
but it was a few minutes later

0:09:31.450,0:09:32.760
from a rarely visited,

0:09:32.760,0:09:34.872
but deeply me part of me,

0:09:35.000,0:09:37.300
the part of me that's behind your eyes,

0:09:37.300,0:09:39.411
a more spiritual part,

0:09:39.420,0:09:41.950
from my very soul,[br]if you want to say it that way,

0:09:41.950,0:09:43.210
words came out.

0:09:43.210,0:09:44.310
I'm pretty sure.

0:09:44.310,0:09:45.750
I said it out loud to no one

0:09:45.750,0:09:47.300
at two in the morning.

0:09:48.810,0:09:49.865
I said,

0:09:50.600,0:09:52.581
"I don''t know who you are,

0:09:54.400,0:09:57.700
but apparently, you can make me hurt.

0:09:57.900,0:09:59.800
You can make me suffer.

0:10:01.100,0:10:04.123
But I'll tell you[br]one thing you cannot do.

0:10:05.300,0:10:10.499
You can't make me turn[br]from my own experience.

0:10:11.200,0:10:12.779
You can't do it."

0:10:19.000,0:10:22.601
And my then much younger body[br]ached as it stood up,

0:10:26.400,0:10:31.699
and I could tell from the dried[br]and burning tracks of tears on my face

0:10:32.000,0:10:34.400
that I had been there a very long time.

0:10:37.400,0:10:40.600
But, I stood up inside a promise.

0:10:42.600,0:10:44.481
"Never again.

0:10:45.617,0:10:48.499
I will not run from me."

0:10:52.900,0:10:55.754
I did not know how to keep that promise.

0:10:56.000,0:10:57.991
To be honest, I'm still learning.

0:10:58.300,0:11:02.201
I had no idea how to bring that promise

0:11:02.500,0:11:05.100
into the lives of others.

0:11:06.000,0:11:09.054
I would learn that[br]only in the work that we would do

0:11:09.054,0:11:11.500
in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy,

0:11:11.500,0:11:13.555
or ACT, and that was ahead of me.

0:11:14.400,0:11:16.000
But, in those 34 years,

0:11:16.000,0:11:18.400
not a single day has gone by

0:11:19.700,0:11:22.600
where I didn't remember that promise.

0:11:23.900,0:11:27.100
And when you stand here like this,

0:11:27.100,0:11:29.420
the way you know already

0:11:29.420,0:11:31.780
is the wiser place to stand

0:11:31.900,0:11:33.857
with pain and suffering,

0:11:34.020,0:11:35.480
things start happening.

0:11:35.580,0:11:37.300
I can put it into words now

0:11:37.300,0:11:40.486
what the science shows,[br]what this posture is.

0:11:40.800,0:11:42.821
It's emotional openness.

0:11:43.280,0:11:45.430
We're going to feel[br]what's there to be felt

0:11:45.430,0:11:47.500
even when it's hard.

0:11:47.520,0:11:49.530
It's being able to look at your thoughts,

0:11:49.530,0:11:51.000
not just from your thoughts.

0:11:51.000,0:11:52.190
So, when you're thinking

0:11:52.190,0:11:53.530
they're not just like this,

0:11:53.530,0:11:55.080
so you can't see anything else,

0:11:55.080,0:11:57.044
you can notice them out there.

0:11:57.300,0:11:59.300
It's connecting with this more spiritual

0:11:59.300,0:12:01.100
part of you and from there

0:12:01.100,0:12:03.412
being able to direct your attention

0:12:03.500,0:12:05.500
flexibly, fluidly, voluntarily

0:12:05.500,0:12:08.400
towards what's there to be focused on.

0:12:09.100,0:12:11.500
And when you see something of importance,

0:12:11.610,0:12:13.000
to be able to move towards it

0:12:13.000,0:12:14.600
with your hands and arms free

0:12:14.600,0:12:16.900
so that you can feel, and do,

0:12:16.900,0:12:19.000
and contribute, and participate.

0:12:20.000,0:12:22.700
That's psychological flexibility.

0:12:25.600,0:12:28.100
And it builds on what that seed is

0:12:28.100,0:12:30.200
that you know because if you put this

0:12:30.200,0:12:34.670
into a word, I think you can see[br]why this would be the word,

0:12:34.670,0:12:37.600
the single word I would say is, "Love."

0:12:38.500,0:12:40.100
When you stand with yourself

0:12:40.100,0:12:43.467
in a self-compassionate, kind, loving way,

0:12:44.518,0:12:48.400
life opens up and then you can turn

0:12:48.400,0:12:50.410
towards meaning and purpose

0:12:50.500,0:12:52.900
and how you bring love, participation,

0:12:52.900,0:12:54.579
beauty, contribution,

0:12:55.100,0:12:56.800
into the lives of others.

0:12:58.900,0:13:01.469
I didn't see at first that this

0:13:01.500,0:13:03.500
pivot towards pain and suffering

0:13:05.100,0:13:07.321
actually was glued at the hip

0:13:07.400,0:13:09.850
to this pivot towards meaning and purpose.

0:13:09.850,0:13:11.190
I didn't see that at first.

0:13:11.210,0:13:13.800
But I started seeing it in my clients

0:13:13.800,0:13:16.000
as I began to do the ACT work.

0:13:16.000,0:13:18.100
I started seeing it in my own life.

0:13:19.500,0:13:21.300
And just a few years in,

0:13:21.300,0:13:23.297
it hit me very powerfully.

0:13:24.340,0:13:27.843
By then, I'd done a few[br]randomized trials on ACT

0:13:28.580,0:13:30.300
and I was beginning to do trainings,

0:13:30.300,0:13:33.615
moving around, meeting[br]with smaller groups of clinicians,

0:13:33.690,0:13:35.743
teaching about the work we're doing.

0:13:36.800,0:13:38.551
And I was doing a workshop

0:13:38.600,0:13:40.600
and I had these waves of anxiety,

0:13:40.600,0:13:42.523
which was totally normal.

0:13:43.100,0:13:45.229
Still today, I will get anxious

0:13:45.400,0:13:46.697
during talks.

0:13:48.100,0:13:50.200
That was fine. I'm open for that.

0:13:50.500,0:13:52.500
Come on. It's cool.

0:13:54.400,0:13:56.000
But then another wave came.

0:13:56.000,0:13:58.318
I suddenly felt as though[br]I was going to sob

0:13:58.318,0:14:01.360
in front of those clinicians,

0:14:02.203,0:14:04.989
that I was going to weep uncontrollably.

0:14:06.000,0:14:07.469
I said, "What?"

0:14:07.800,0:14:10.324
The moment passed and I did the workshop.

0:14:11.260,0:14:13.735
Didn't think about it again[br]until the next workshop,

0:14:13.800,0:14:15.830
same exact thing happened.

0:14:15.990,0:14:20.372
And this time I had the presence of mind[br]to notice I felt very young.

0:14:21.200,0:14:22.180
And I asked myself,

0:14:22.180,0:14:23.750
even as I was doing the workshop,

0:14:23.800,0:14:25.245
"How old are you?"

0:14:25.400,0:14:28.200
And the answer came back, "8 or 9."

0:14:29.300,0:14:31.710
And then, a memory flipped by

0:14:31.800,0:14:35.220
that I hadn't thought of[br]since it happened,

0:14:35.220,0:14:37.642
when I was 8 or 9.

0:14:38.500,0:14:41.020
I didn't have time to unpack it[br]in the workshop,

0:14:41.020,0:14:42.800
but that night in the hotel I did.

0:14:45.000,0:14:47.094
I was underneath my bed,

0:14:47.635,0:14:50.700
listening to my parents fight[br]in the other room.

0:14:52.500,0:14:57.016
My dad had come home drunk and late again.

0:14:59.300,0:15:02.264
And my mother was ripping into him

0:15:02.900,0:15:06.603
about him spending[br]the meager family funds on his addiction;

0:15:06.800,0:15:10.014
about his inadequacies[br]as a husband and as a father.

0:15:10.900,0:15:11.900
And he was saying,

0:15:11.900,0:15:15.900
"Shut up! You better shut up or else!"

0:15:16.100,0:15:18.307
and I knew his fists were clenched.

0:15:19.100,0:15:21.523
And then I heard a horrific crash

0:15:22.000,0:15:23.738
and my mother screaming.

0:15:26.000,0:15:27.600
I would find out only later

0:15:27.600,0:15:29.100
it was the coffee table

0:15:29.100,0:15:30.700
going across the living room.

0:15:32.160,0:15:33.463
And I'm thinking,

0:15:33.600,0:15:35.458
"Is there going to be blood?

0:15:35.900,0:15:37.526
Is he hitting her?"

0:15:38.400,0:15:40.200
And then, my little boy mind

0:15:40.200,0:15:42.900
gave me these words very clearly,

0:15:44.100,0:15:46.488
"I'm going to do something."

0:15:49.500,0:15:53.140
And I realized there was nothing[br]for me to do,

0:15:53.140,0:15:54.800
nothing safe.

0:15:56.100,0:15:58.000
So, I scooted back farther

0:15:58.000,0:16:00.272
and I held myself and cried.

0:16:03.900,0:16:05.233
You get it?

0:16:06.420,0:16:09.540
I'm sitting there,[br]watching those old bulls fight

0:16:09.540,0:16:11.744
in the psychology department

0:16:12.500,0:16:14.449
and yeah, I'm horrified

0:16:15.400,0:16:17.397
and yeah, I'm feeling anxious,

0:16:17.500,0:16:21.316
but really what I would like to do[br]is just to cry -

0:16:22.500,0:16:24.513
in a department of psychology?

0:16:24.600,0:16:27.800
(Laughter)

0:16:28.700,0:16:29.863
Really?

0:16:32.500,0:16:34.600
But, I didn't have access to him.

0:16:35.500,0:16:37.300
I didn't have room for him.

0:16:39.400,0:16:42.234
He's why I'm a psychologist,

0:16:43.400,0:16:45.812
but I didn't even know it.

0:16:47.000,0:16:51.000
And I got caught up in the articles,

0:16:51.000,0:16:53.700
in the vita, in the grants,[br]and the achievement.

0:16:53.700,0:16:55.131
Woo hoo!

0:16:57.000,0:17:00.738
But, I came here because he asked me to.

0:17:01.800,0:17:03.544
To "do something".

0:17:05.099,0:17:07.900
And instead, what I told him

0:17:08.700,0:17:12.000
was tantamount to leading down and saying,

0:17:12.500,0:17:15.300
"Just be quiet. Go away. Shut up,"

0:17:17.200,0:17:21.200
when I ran, and I fought, and I hid.

0:17:22.000,0:17:24.300
It was so unkind and so unloving.

0:17:24.900,0:17:29.261
To who? To me, and the parts of me

0:17:29.862,0:17:34.257
that connect me[br]even with my life's purpose.

0:17:35.800,0:17:38.700
Because we hurt where we care

0:17:39.600,0:17:42.100
and we care where we hurt.

0:17:42.700,0:17:45.100
These two pivots, these two

0:17:45.100,0:17:48.300
"turning towards" are the same thing.

0:17:49.000,0:17:50.700
When you stand with yourself,

0:17:50.700,0:17:52.570
even when it's hard,

0:17:52.700,0:17:54.947
you're doing a loving thing for yourself

0:17:55.100,0:17:57.500
and out of that then you can afford

0:17:57.500,0:18:00.595
the risk of turning towards

0:18:01.600,0:18:03.300
bringing love into the world,

0:18:03.300,0:18:05.200
beauty into the world, communication,

0:18:05.200,0:18:08.159
contribution into the world.

0:18:08.500,0:18:12.249
And seeing that, I made another promise.

0:18:13.100,0:18:17.324
Never again, I will not push you away,

0:18:19.100,0:18:23.528
nor your message to me about our purpose.

0:18:24.510,0:18:27.409
I'm not going to ask you[br]to give the workshop,

0:18:27.800,0:18:29.900
or do the [TEDx] talk either,

0:18:30.500,0:18:32.330
(Laughter)

0:18:33.000,0:18:35.900
but I want you here with me

0:18:37.000,0:18:38.868
because you soften me.

0:18:39.500,0:18:44.220
You make sense[br]of why my life is about this.

0:18:46.900,0:18:49.300
And so, my message to you is

0:18:51.050,0:18:54.686
to look at the science[br]of psychological flexibility, yeah,

0:18:54.700,0:18:58.543
but look at how it can inform[br]what you already know,

0:19:00.000,0:19:02.600
which is bringing love to yourself

0:19:02.600,0:19:04.658
even when it's hard

0:19:04.800,0:19:07.446
will help you bring love into the world

0:19:07.500,0:19:11.537
in the way that you want[br]to bring it into the world.

0:19:13.600,0:19:15.540
And that's important.

0:19:16.600,0:19:17.951
You know it.

0:19:18.300,0:19:20.753
Your crying little 8 year olds in you[br]know it.

0:19:22.900,0:19:24.537
We all know it.

0:19:26.600,0:19:28.500
Because love isn't everything,

0:19:29.900,0:19:31.569
it's the only thing.

0:19:32.870,0:19:33.790
Thank you.

0:19:33.790,0:19:35.420
I hope I've been useful to you.

0:19:35.420,0:19:36.800
(Applause)