Neely is pissed after the 2014 playoffs
"We need to hurry and make a trade!"
Chop chop, Iginla went to Colorado
Our forwards and defense are lighter than ever
So Pete evaluates and starts to work the phones
Seguin is lighting it up in Dallas
Lots of pressure all around
So Pete trades Johnny Boychuk for two draft picks
Two draft picks!
Two picks!!
Then he becomes a #1 D and puts up nearly 40 pts!!
Cap space!!
Then we don't do a damn thing with the cap savings!
We sit on our asses all year while Chara and Krejci get injured
Our defense gets danced on every night
And our forwards skate in molasses
So we play the 4th line 15 minutes a night!!
15 minutes!
Campbell and Paille 15 minutes a night!!
Cunningham actually shows some energy
And then we put him on waivers later on!!
For no reason!
So we're in deep shit halfway through the season
Losing to the Sabres!!
So we get together and decide
our solution is
to play Matt Bartkowski
And fans start to think this is a good idea
Until he starts sucking as usual
Big surprise!
But seriously...
We make an effort to improve at the trade deadline
So we grab Connolloy from Tampa
And he gets injured during his first team practice
He gets injured in about five minutes