WEBVTT 00:00:52.584 --> 00:00:54.133 Mr. Brogan... 00:00:54.133 --> 00:00:56.991 I assume you've called in regard to the mortgage payment... 00:00:57.013 --> 00:00:58.985 on Castle Plunkett, unfortunately still delayed... 00:00:58.985 --> 00:01:02.484 by what seems to be our endless postal strike. 00:01:03.946 --> 00:01:06.284 Dear sir, I must once again remind you... 00:01:06.284 --> 00:01:11.668 my first name is not "Dick," nor is my last name "Face." 00:01:11.684 --> 00:01:15.615 It is simply Peter. Peter Plunkett. 00:01:15.663 --> 00:01:18.197 No, I was not given a middle name... 00:01:18.197 --> 00:01:19.840 but had I been, I feel certain... 00:01:19.840 --> 00:01:21.448 my mother would not have chosen... 00:01:21.448 --> 00:01:25.399 '"Low-life Shit-for-brains Peckerhead." 00:01:25.399 --> 00:01:28.041 You obviously know a side of Mother... 00:01:28.107 --> 00:01:29.536 I have been happily sheltered from. 00:01:29.611 --> 00:01:32.110 Nevertheless, I marvel at your colorfully creative... 00:01:32.110 --> 00:01:33.978 ever-so-American colloquialisms... 00:01:33.978 --> 00:01:37.449 which flow so grippingly from your razor like tongue. 00:01:38.626 --> 00:01:41.160 The hotel is in tiptop condition... 00:01:41.227 --> 00:01:42.885 the renovations are proceeding at a... 00:01:42.955 --> 00:01:46.249 What? Why shouldn't I bother? 00:01:46.548 --> 00:01:48.050 Peter, who are you calling? 00:01:48.124 --> 00:01:51.374 Oh, Mother! Will you please get off the line? 00:01:53.172 --> 00:01:55.521 Turning the castle into a theme park? 00:01:56.685 --> 00:01:59.269 '"Irish World"? 00:01:59.347 --> 00:02:01.486 Gee, what an interesting notion. 00:02:01.556 --> 00:02:03.694 In where? In Malibu? 00:02:03.763 --> 00:02:06.862 What is Malibu? 00:02:07.271 --> 00:02:10.123 I see. You want to move the castle to Malibu... 00:02:10.123 --> 00:02:12.696 which, I am to presume, lies on the western corner... 00:02:12.696 --> 00:02:14.852 of those United States. 00:02:14.852 --> 00:02:16.969 Mr. Brogan, if I cannot send your payment... 00:02:16.969 --> 00:02:18.550 how on earth do you expect... 00:02:18.620 --> 00:02:20.856 to transport an entire castle across the sea? 00:02:20.923 --> 00:02:22.898 The number of stamps alone is mind-boggling! 00:02:22.972 --> 00:02:25.143 But I can assure you, Mr. Brogan... 00:02:25.211 --> 00:02:27.005 that if it goes on much longer... 00:02:27.079 --> 00:02:30.081 I will take this check which I am holding in my hand... 00:02:30.055 --> 00:02:33.057 and personally ferry it across the water to England... 00:02:33.124 --> 00:02:35.711 and mail it to you myself. That's how much I care. 00:02:35.715 --> 00:02:38.370 What postal strike? 00:02:38.435 --> 00:02:40.290 Shut up, Mother! 00:02:42.630 --> 00:02:44.945 I don't think that kind of language... 00:02:44.945 --> 00:02:46.766 is necessary, Mr. Brogan. 00:02:46.835 --> 00:02:48.528 Understandable, but... 00:02:52.554 --> 00:02:56.074 So, what you're saying... 00:02:56.074 --> 00:02:59.812 is that if I don't come up with the money in three weeks... 00:02:59.812 --> 00:03:03.727 you will foreclose and take over Castle Plunkett. 00:03:06.621 --> 00:03:07.981 I see. 00:03:09.531 --> 00:03:13.346 Have you heard of the quality of mercy, Mr. Brogan? 00:03:15.970 --> 00:03:18.580 You haven't read your Shakespeare, Mr. Brogan. 00:03:18.870 --> 00:03:20.278 Good-bye. 00:03:30.458 --> 00:03:31.908 There you are! 00:03:31.908 --> 00:03:33.374 Taking the easy way out. You naughty boy! 00:03:33.603 --> 00:03:35.266 Mother, this is not easy. It is very, very difficult. 00:03:35.339 --> 00:03:37.543 Just because you haven't got a guest in the place... 00:03:37.611 --> 00:03:39.466 you're in hock to that fellow Brogan. 00:03:39.531 --> 00:03:42.695 Your father's so worried, he's tearing his hair out! 00:03:42.763 --> 00:03:45.130 Mother, father has been dead for a decade. 00:03:45.196 --> 00:03:46.821 And what about your grandmother? 00:03:46.891 --> 00:03:48.680 How do you think she feels? 00:03:48.747 --> 00:03:50.886 Mother, grandmother is dead, too. 00:03:50.956 --> 00:03:52.450 She's still upset. 00:03:52.524 --> 00:03:55.077 Very well. I apologize profoundly... 00:03:55.147 --> 00:03:57.002 to the ghosts of my ancestors... 00:03:57.067 --> 00:04:00.035 for making a mess of their ancestral home. 00:04:00.108 --> 00:04:01.188 Hold that. 00:04:01.259 --> 00:04:03.114 I'm not gonna help you. 00:04:08.939 --> 00:04:11.111 How many ghosts are there here? 00:04:13.419 --> 00:04:18.120 There's Great Auntie Nana and Uncle Toby... 00:04:18.187 --> 00:04:21.089 and that nice Elizabethan lady... 00:04:21.163 --> 00:04:24.993 and the nun who was walled into the closet... 00:04:25.068 --> 00:04:28.810 and Oliver's bastard, who never came out of the library. 00:04:28.875 --> 00:04:30.053 Mother. 00:04:30.124 --> 00:04:32.807 - What, darling? - What a wonderful idea. 00:04:32.875 --> 00:04:35.842 - What, darling? - Ghosts. 00:04:35.915 --> 00:04:37.955 Ghosts? 00:04:38.027 --> 00:04:40.777 Ghosts. 00:04:40.843 --> 00:04:43.428 A wonderful tourist attraction. 00:04:48.843 --> 00:04:51.232 Katie! 00:04:51.307 --> 00:04:53.162 Katie, take this down. 00:04:55.371 --> 00:04:57.510 Castle Plunkett... 00:04:57.579 --> 00:05:01.354 the superbly-restored edifice in the heart... 00:05:01.419 --> 00:05:05.380 of the incomparably beautiful Irish countryside. 00:05:05.451 --> 00:05:09.346 Also known to be the most haunted place... 00:05:09.419 --> 00:05:11.208 on the Emerald Isle! 00:05:11.275 --> 00:05:14.591 Here, the dead outnumber the living! 00:05:14.667 --> 00:05:17.864 This castle contains more ghouls, ghosties... 00:05:17.931 --> 00:05:19.491 long-leggedy beasties... 00:05:19.563 --> 00:05:21.538 and things that go bump in the night... 00:05:21.612 --> 00:05:25.059 than on any other place in this revolving, revolting... 00:05:25.131 --> 00:05:27.914 maggot-spinning earth! 00:05:27.980 --> 00:05:32.584 We can promise you banshees, pookas... 00:05:32.651 --> 00:05:35.237 ghouls of all descriptions. 00:05:35.307 --> 00:05:39.682 The one thing we won't promise is a good night's sleep. 00:05:39.755 --> 00:05:41.511 There are no bloody ghosts here. 00:05:41.579 --> 00:05:44.645 I know, but there will be. We'll invent them. 00:05:48.267 --> 00:05:49.828 Yes, Mr. Wilson... 00:05:49.899 --> 00:05:51.787 the accommodations are strictly modern... 00:05:51.851 --> 00:05:54.273 and so far, the renovations have been consistent... 00:05:54.348 --> 00:05:56.355 with maintaining the ectoplasmic ambience... 00:05:56.427 --> 00:05:58.085 of Castle Plunkett and environs. 00:06:00.427 --> 00:06:02.696 Illusion. 00:06:02.763 --> 00:06:04.519 You, Katie, for instance. 00:06:04.587 --> 00:06:10.697 You high on a wire would be magnificent as a flying banshee. 00:06:11.723 --> 00:06:14.538 A little dry rot, selective damp... 00:06:14.603 --> 00:06:16.327 some fungus here and there. 00:06:16.395 --> 00:06:18.697 Ghosts need such things to exist. 00:06:18.763 --> 00:06:20.519 Thank you. 00:06:20.587 --> 00:06:24.002 Patricia, you could be... 00:06:24.075 --> 00:06:25.285 a mermaid! 00:06:25.355 --> 00:06:27.330 Or Lady Godiva. 00:06:33.004 --> 00:06:34.530 Anybody dead down there? 00:06:34.603 --> 00:06:36.032 Only the corpse, Eamon. 00:06:36.107 --> 00:06:38.311 What the shaggin' hell are you doin' up there? 00:06:38.379 --> 00:06:40.354 Genius. Pure genius. 00:06:40.427 --> 00:06:42.151 Just you wait till they see it. 00:06:43.787 --> 00:06:46.373 The bloody hand to the front... 00:06:50.219 --> 00:06:52.074 And the bloody feet at the rear. 00:06:54.667 --> 00:06:56.740 Look, what in the name of God is that? 00:06:56.811 --> 00:06:58.436 We're not doin' the "African Queen." 00:06:58.507 --> 00:07:02.631 Will you get me the shaggin' fish I asked you for? 00:07:07.531 --> 00:07:09.058 Smile, Katie! 00:07:09.132 --> 00:07:10.855 You have to smile! 00:07:10.923 --> 00:07:12.712 The Americans are coming tomorrow. 00:07:12.779 --> 00:07:15.779 Now, Eamon, you little genius, one more time. 00:07:15.852 --> 00:07:18.535 Ready, steady, go! 00:07:32.715 --> 00:07:34.308 Jack, what are you doing? 00:07:34.379 --> 00:07:36.005 It's a little champagne. 00:07:36.075 --> 00:07:38.464 To us, to Ireland... 00:07:38.540 --> 00:07:39.914 your homeland. 00:07:39.979 --> 00:07:41.702 Loch Ness Monster, guys in skirts. 00:07:41.772 --> 00:07:43.113 That's Scotland, Jack. 00:07:44.875 --> 00:07:46.850 I knew that. 00:07:48.427 --> 00:07:50.816 Oh, Christ! 00:07:50.891 --> 00:07:53.128 Oh, Jack. I've just taken two Valium... 00:07:53.195 --> 00:07:56.511 and now you're trying to drown me in champagne. 00:07:56.587 --> 00:07:59.969 God. Next thing you know, you'll want to have sex. 00:08:17.323 --> 00:08:18.730 Ma'am? 00:08:18.795 --> 00:08:19.973 A little champagne? 00:08:21.419 --> 00:08:24.234 I suppose sex is out of the question? 00:08:29.707 --> 00:08:31.714 I think I should be the tart on the horse... 00:08:31.787 --> 00:08:33.697 and you should be the hag in the tree. 00:08:33.770 --> 00:08:35.658 I think I should go home. 00:08:35.722 --> 00:08:38.308 Just give me that hair back! 00:08:59.307 --> 00:09:00.933 Bon voyage! 00:09:13.515 --> 00:09:16.385 On our left, we have the Houghlin Bog... 00:09:16.459 --> 00:09:19.721 home to more grisly and gruesome murders... 00:09:19.787 --> 00:09:21.892 than any comparable spot in the universe. 00:09:21.963 --> 00:09:24.135 The fierce, fighting O'Flahertys... 00:09:24.203 --> 00:09:26.624 would pile down from the Knockmealdown Mountains... 00:09:26.699 --> 00:09:29.066 and pillage and rape women and children. 00:09:30.379 --> 00:09:31.688 We have children here. 00:09:31.755 --> 00:09:33.860 Even Christian brothers were known to berserk... 00:09:33.931 --> 00:09:36.353 the occasional sheep or goat. 00:09:37.707 --> 00:09:40.871 Here, within the confines of Castle Plunkett itself... 00:09:40.939 --> 00:09:43.175 we come to the infamous Wailing Willow... 00:09:43.243 --> 00:09:45.577 from which the Brogan Banshee... 00:09:45.643 --> 00:09:49.669 is reported to wail and howl from time to time. 00:09:49.739 --> 00:09:52.128 They're comin', Katie! 00:09:52.203 --> 00:09:54.505 Get ready to show them all you have! 00:09:54.571 --> 00:09:56.359 Scare the Jesus out of 'em. 00:09:56.426 --> 00:09:58.249 Howl, Katie, howl! 00:09:58.315 --> 00:10:00.803 Howl like a banshee! 00:10:00.875 --> 00:10:03.591 Wave the life out of 'em! Wave your arms! 00:10:08.043 --> 00:10:09.767 Oh, Jesus! 00:10:16.875 --> 00:10:18.085 Stop the bus! 00:10:20.043 --> 00:10:21.570 Help me! 00:10:21.643 --> 00:10:23.268 Driver! 00:10:23.339 --> 00:10:25.510 Help me! 00:10:27.403 --> 00:10:29.290 There's a lady on the luggage rack! 00:10:29.355 --> 00:10:31.111 I'm not a lady! I'm a banshee! 00:10:31.179 --> 00:10:32.805 There's a banshee on the luggage rack! 00:10:32.875 --> 00:10:36.224 And the banshee's howling brings forth... 00:10:36.299 --> 00:10:40.128 the restless spirit of Lady Amelia... 00:10:40.203 --> 00:10:44.872 risen from her grave, riding naked on her magical mount! 00:10:47.115 --> 00:10:50.213 Hands and heels now, Patricia! 00:10:50.283 --> 00:10:52.072 I can't stop it! 00:10:52.139 --> 00:10:53.349 Help! 00:11:06.443 --> 00:11:08.232 Awesome! 00:11:09.675 --> 00:11:10.919 Oh, mummy! 00:11:23.434 --> 00:11:26.085 The things I do for you. 00:11:26.155 --> 00:11:29.003 Deeply appreciated. 00:11:29.067 --> 00:11:32.679 Oh, dear. 00:11:47.434 --> 00:11:48.743 Don't panic! 00:11:48.811 --> 00:11:50.720 What do you mean, "don't panic"? 00:11:52.619 --> 00:11:54.855 Listen to me! Don't panic! 00:11:54.923 --> 00:11:56.002 Shut up! 00:11:56.074 --> 00:11:58.530 She's amphibious, or so I'm told. 00:12:14.795 --> 00:12:17.512 Jesus Christ. This is the end of the world. 00:12:18.859 --> 00:12:20.801 Best foot forward, Katie. 00:12:20.875 --> 00:12:24.170 Welcome to Castle Plunkett! 00:12:24.235 --> 00:12:27.202 You are most heartily welcomed. 00:12:28.491 --> 00:12:32.452 Ladies, gentlemen, children... 00:12:32.523 --> 00:12:34.890 you appear to be a trifle moist. 00:12:34.955 --> 00:12:36.100 May I? 00:12:45.898 --> 00:12:47.808 Good evening, boys, young lady... 00:12:47.883 --> 00:12:50.436 Mr. Crawford, Mrs. Crawford, Mrs. Clay. 00:12:50.507 --> 00:12:53.736 Mr. Plunkett, what is this whiting in a glaze? 00:12:53.803 --> 00:12:56.836 Oh, that would be a lovely whiting with bread crumbs. 00:12:56.906 --> 00:12:59.110 And the whiting au nature? 00:12:59.179 --> 00:13:00.324 Boiled whiting. 00:13:00.394 --> 00:13:02.499 So, what's the whiting vapor stuff? 00:13:02.570 --> 00:13:05.472 That, my dear young one, would be whiting, steamed. 00:13:05.546 --> 00:13:07.237 And what is this? 00:13:07.307 --> 00:13:08.649 Whiting bordeaux? 00:13:08.715 --> 00:13:12.010 Very witty, Mr. Clay. 00:13:12.074 --> 00:13:14.857 OK, Mom. You've got us here. Now where are these ghosts? 00:13:14.923 --> 00:13:16.679 Come on! I wanna see one now! 00:13:16.747 --> 00:13:18.121 Boys! 00:13:18.186 --> 00:13:20.074 I'm afraid there are no ghosts here. 00:13:20.139 --> 00:13:22.692 A cynic, Mr. Clay. 00:13:22.763 --> 00:13:25.130 No, a parapsychologist... 00:13:25.195 --> 00:13:26.755 Mr. Plunkett. 00:13:26.826 --> 00:13:28.649 Duke University. 00:13:28.715 --> 00:13:30.089 A para-what? 00:13:30.154 --> 00:13:32.772 A parapsychologist. An expert in ghosts. 00:13:32.842 --> 00:13:35.046 Give the parapsychologist a drink, Katie. 00:13:45.931 --> 00:13:48.319 Whiting bisque, madame? 00:13:48.394 --> 00:13:49.736 Thank you. 00:13:55.018 --> 00:13:58.150 And for you, father? The whiting bisque? 00:13:58.219 --> 00:14:03.237 So, I was seeing this guy, and he's a devil worshipper, right? 00:14:03.306 --> 00:14:05.673 Well, he's a hairdresser, really... 00:14:05.739 --> 00:14:07.364 but he devil worships on the side. 00:14:07.435 --> 00:14:10.697 We booked this dumb tour 'cause he likes ghosts... 00:14:10.763 --> 00:14:13.349 corpses, dead gerbils, that kind of thing... 00:14:13.419 --> 00:14:16.102 and he ran off with this Buddhist monk. 00:14:16.171 --> 00:14:19.749 I mean, how was I supposed to know he was gay? 00:14:21.323 --> 00:14:23.178 So, what about you? Are you gay, too? 00:14:23.243 --> 00:14:26.887 No, I'm not, but I'm chaste. 00:14:26.954 --> 00:14:29.475 Just kidding. Trick question. 00:14:29.547 --> 00:14:32.361 So, what are you doing here? 00:14:32.427 --> 00:14:35.329 Well, I thought I'd take a vacation here... 00:14:35.403 --> 00:14:36.864 in the Isle of Saints... 00:14:36.939 --> 00:14:39.939 before I take my final vows as a sort of spiritual treat. 00:14:40.011 --> 00:14:41.188 Retreat. 00:14:41.258 --> 00:14:44.903 Yeah. Well, I've kind of taken a vow myself. 00:14:44.971 --> 00:14:49.673 I've sworn off men for a while, at least. 00:14:49.738 --> 00:14:52.040 But you're not a priest yet? 00:14:52.106 --> 00:14:54.048 No. Not yet. 00:14:54.123 --> 00:14:57.254 Well, here's to keeping our vows. 00:15:11.466 --> 00:15:12.644 Mr. Plunkett. 00:15:14.155 --> 00:15:15.332 Who's that? 00:15:18.026 --> 00:15:20.328 Mary Plunkett. 00:15:20.395 --> 00:15:24.039 My great-great-great-great- great-great-grandcousin. 00:15:24.106 --> 00:15:28.384 She died right here in Castle Plunkett 200 years ago. 00:15:28.459 --> 00:15:29.953 She couldn't take the whiting, either? 00:15:30.027 --> 00:15:32.612 Levity is out of place, Mrs. Crawford. 00:15:32.682 --> 00:15:35.999 She was murdered on her wedding night... 00:15:36.074 --> 00:15:39.140 by the hand of her newly wedded husband. 00:15:44.331 --> 00:15:49.895 When I remember 00:15:49.962 --> 00:15:55.974 All friends linked together 00:15:56.043 --> 00:16:01.672 I've seen around me 00:16:01.738 --> 00:16:05.633 Fall like leaves in wintry snow 00:16:05.707 --> 00:16:08.162 Why don't I just give you both here? 00:16:08.235 --> 00:16:10.886 I can get the change later. 00:16:10.955 --> 00:16:12.132 Lovely music. 00:16:12.202 --> 00:16:13.446 Shut up! 00:16:13.514 --> 00:16:15.751 Some banquet-hall 00:16:15.819 --> 00:16:18.819 Deserted 00:16:18.891 --> 00:16:21.476 Whose lights are fled 00:16:21.546 --> 00:16:24.514 Whose garlands dead 00:16:24.586 --> 00:16:30.816 And all but he departed 00:16:30.890 --> 00:16:36.127 Thus in the stilly night 00:16:36.202 --> 00:16:39.050 Ere slumber's chain 00:16:39.115 --> 00:16:42.279 Has bound me 00:16:42.347 --> 00:16:46.886 Fond memory brings the light 00:16:46.954 --> 00:16:48.067 Honey, everybody's singing. 00:16:50.250 --> 00:16:51.363 It's beautiful. 00:16:53.578 --> 00:16:55.072 It's beautiful. 00:17:17.194 --> 00:17:21.503 A full moon has risen above Houghlin Bog. 00:17:21.578 --> 00:17:23.433 Those of you with nervous dispositions... 00:17:23.498 --> 00:17:25.734 would do well to protect yourselves. 00:17:25.803 --> 00:17:28.967 Lock your windows, bolt your doors... 00:17:29.035 --> 00:17:30.660 say your prayers... 00:17:30.730 --> 00:17:33.730 for tonight, they may be walking abroad... 00:17:33.802 --> 00:17:38.058 the cluricanes, the banshees, and the pookas. 00:17:38.123 --> 00:17:40.806 Good night. Sleep well, if you can. 00:17:42.731 --> 00:17:43.909 If you dare! 00:17:45.963 --> 00:17:47.108 Bugs. 00:17:48.810 --> 00:17:50.665 Where did they all go? 00:17:50.730 --> 00:17:53.032 Don't ask. They might come back. 00:17:56.938 --> 00:17:58.793 Well, if there are any ghosts in this castle... 00:17:58.858 --> 00:18:01.280 I hope to God they put on a better show than this one. 00:18:01.355 --> 00:18:03.362 It was pretty scary, huh, kids? 00:18:03.435 --> 00:18:05.573 Didn't you see '"Nightmare on Elm Street"? 00:18:05.642 --> 00:18:06.787 Give me a break. 00:18:09.226 --> 00:18:11.168 Scared the shit out of me. 00:18:13.035 --> 00:18:14.823 Right. Phase Two. 00:18:14.890 --> 00:18:16.352 Katie, banshee time. 00:18:16.427 --> 00:18:18.532 Julia, where's me bandages? 00:18:21.802 --> 00:18:24.104 Because it's hard to get a significant C.R. Reading... 00:18:24.170 --> 00:18:28.131 when there is no observed deviation to be measured. 00:18:28.203 --> 00:18:31.399 I'm afraid that this is going to be the most pitiful scam... 00:18:31.466 --> 00:18:35.328 There is not even a dress hanger in the dump. 00:18:35.402 --> 00:18:37.507 Malky. 00:18:37.578 --> 00:18:41.670 Get me the nightie you bought me at the duty-free. 00:18:41.739 --> 00:18:43.080 Honey? 00:18:48.746 --> 00:18:51.943 Thanks, Bugbear. Oh, take this, would you? 00:18:52.010 --> 00:18:56.233 Unexpected random fluctuations of the standard deviation... 00:18:56.299 --> 00:19:00.128 would need to exceed 2.33 for it to be conceived as significant. 00:19:00.202 --> 00:19:02.886 Here we have a very impressive sight indeed. 00:19:02.955 --> 00:19:06.468 It's the winning Hereford bull owned by Mr. Lynch... 00:19:06.539 --> 00:19:10.630 and he's won the competition for the third year in a row. 00:19:10.699 --> 00:19:13.317 Mind you, the competition we saw today... 00:19:13.386 --> 00:19:15.077 was of a very high quality indeed... 00:19:15.146 --> 00:19:18.561 and the judges had a very difficult task. 00:19:18.634 --> 00:19:23.206 Of course, these days, the judges emphasize grooming... 00:19:23.275 --> 00:19:25.730 Oh, my God. 00:19:25.803 --> 00:19:27.658 Major jet lag. 00:19:32.938 --> 00:19:34.913 Excuse me. 00:19:34.987 --> 00:19:37.507 I don't believe in ghosts. 00:19:40.203 --> 00:19:41.861 Oh, wait. 00:19:44.074 --> 00:19:46.213 Calm down, Miranda. 00:19:46.282 --> 00:19:49.926 You can stop it now, because really, I'm not scared. 00:20:07.594 --> 00:20:10.790 One more time, my Katie, and give the window a little tap. 00:20:10.858 --> 00:20:13.030 Tap it yourself. 00:20:13.099 --> 00:20:14.506 Away, Little John. 00:20:21.131 --> 00:20:23.465 Damn it! Look at me, you bastard! 00:20:38.986 --> 00:20:40.295 OK, you guys. 00:20:40.362 --> 00:20:43.908 If you aren't in bed in three seconds, you are grounded. 00:20:43.978 --> 00:20:45.287 But we haven't seen a ghost yet. 00:20:45.354 --> 00:20:47.329 And I'm not whistlin' Dixie. 00:21:04.618 --> 00:21:06.441 Help me! 00:21:06.506 --> 00:21:07.684 Help! 00:21:07.754 --> 00:21:11.103 Please, somebody help me! 00:21:11.178 --> 00:21:12.804 Where's he goin'? 00:21:12.874 --> 00:21:15.241 Help me! 00:21:16.394 --> 00:21:17.889 All right. I'm coming. 00:21:17.963 --> 00:21:20.930 - Brother Tony, help me! - I will! 00:21:21.003 --> 00:21:23.392 - You have to make it stop! - All right! 00:21:23.466 --> 00:21:25.321 I don't like it at all! 00:21:25.386 --> 00:21:26.728 Come on, Brother Tony! Jump! 00:21:26.794 --> 00:21:28.998 I'm coming! 00:21:29.066 --> 00:21:30.244 Oh, Tony! 00:21:30.314 --> 00:21:31.972 Brother Tony! Do something! 00:21:32.042 --> 00:21:33.897 Don't just lay there, do something! 00:21:33.962 --> 00:21:35.369 Like what? 00:21:35.434 --> 00:21:37.376 Exorcise it! 00:21:37.450 --> 00:21:38.912 You're a priest, aren't you? 00:21:38.987 --> 00:21:41.408 How about a little something from "Revelations"? 00:21:41.482 --> 00:21:42.791 - "Revelations"? - "Revelations." 00:21:45.034 --> 00:21:47.718 '"And I saw an angel..." 00:21:47.786 --> 00:21:48.996 I'm gonna be sick! 00:21:49.066 --> 00:21:53.027 Don't leave me! We're going to die! 00:21:53.098 --> 00:21:54.821 They're going to kill us! 00:21:59.946 --> 00:22:04.169 A change in the humidity and you will turn blue. 00:22:08.522 --> 00:22:11.370 Come to me, Bugbear. 00:22:11.434 --> 00:22:13.321 Make me a woman. 00:22:14.954 --> 00:22:16.994 My love. 00:22:18.955 --> 00:22:23.559 Oh, that's the most pathetic display that I've ever seen. 00:22:23.626 --> 00:22:24.870 Malcolm! 00:22:24.938 --> 00:22:28.321 What is that? A 45-degree semisilver mirror? 00:22:33.578 --> 00:22:36.000 Now, Eamon. 00:22:36.074 --> 00:22:37.503 The sword! 00:22:38.826 --> 00:22:40.614 Jack, what are you doing? 00:22:42.986 --> 00:22:44.513 I smell something burning, Jack. 00:22:51.434 --> 00:22:54.118 Sharon! 00:22:54.186 --> 00:22:56.193 How many times do I have to tell you "no"? 00:22:56.266 --> 00:22:59.430 I'm exhausted. We are not making love tonight. 00:22:59.498 --> 00:23:00.708 I just saw a ghost! 00:23:00.778 --> 00:23:04.259 That is the most pathetic excuse for sex I have ever heard! 00:23:04.331 --> 00:23:06.338 If I say I'm too tired, then I'm too tired. 00:23:06.410 --> 00:23:07.555 Thank you very much, Jack. 00:23:07.626 --> 00:23:09.251 Now I need to take two more Valium. 00:23:14.314 --> 00:23:15.776 My God, he's got my underwear! 00:23:15.851 --> 00:23:17.607 Oh, very nice! A pervert ghost! 00:23:17.674 --> 00:23:18.884 Malcolm, the children! 00:23:18.954 --> 00:23:20.481 Don't worry, Marge. I'll handle this. 00:23:20.554 --> 00:23:22.921 Get away from the children! 00:23:22.986 --> 00:23:24.677 Yeah, Dad! 00:23:24.746 --> 00:23:26.339 Supernatural, huh? 00:23:26.411 --> 00:23:28.069 Sounds pretty solid to me. 00:23:28.138 --> 00:23:29.218 Behind me, children! 00:23:29.291 --> 00:23:31.233 How dare you threaten my family? 00:23:43.754 --> 00:23:45.096 I think it's real, Dad. 00:23:45.162 --> 00:23:47.104 I'll show you real! 00:23:50.922 --> 00:23:52.351 Mother of God! 00:23:55.338 --> 00:23:58.469 You could've shaggin' killed me. 00:24:00.682 --> 00:24:02.569 Maybe if we made love more often... 00:24:02.634 --> 00:24:04.063 you wouldn't need your stupid pills. 00:24:10.474 --> 00:24:12.197 Do not take that Valium. 00:24:12.266 --> 00:24:14.176 Sharon, do not take that Valium. 00:24:14.250 --> 00:24:16.422 Would you listen to me for once in your life? 00:24:16.490 --> 00:24:17.766 Sharon, please! 00:24:26.058 --> 00:24:28.262 It's not working! We have to stop! 00:24:28.330 --> 00:24:30.534 We have to try something else! 00:24:55.402 --> 00:24:56.514 What are you doing... 00:24:58.346 --> 00:24:59.906 to that poor ghost? 00:25:01.258 --> 00:25:03.080 Wait a minute! 00:25:03.146 --> 00:25:07.336 Plunkett! You phony! You fake! 00:25:10.890 --> 00:25:14.338 Julia! Oh, how's my poor... 00:25:14.378 --> 00:25:16.899 Little demon children! 00:25:16.970 --> 00:25:19.141 Calm yourselves! 00:25:20.298 --> 00:25:22.121 As the brochure says, it's the unpredictability... 00:25:22.186 --> 00:25:23.364 of spirits that causes problems. 00:25:23.434 --> 00:25:26.532 So I would like to apologize for any minor inconvenience. 00:25:26.602 --> 00:25:29.352 This is the most pitiful supernatural sham... 00:25:29.418 --> 00:25:30.530 that I've ever encountered! 00:25:30.602 --> 00:25:32.195 It will get better, I assure you. 00:25:44.010 --> 00:25:46.082 That's it! 00:25:46.154 --> 00:25:48.871 We are leaving tomorrow morning, Jack. 00:25:48.938 --> 00:25:52.583 Oh, no, my dear woman. 00:25:52.650 --> 00:25:54.243 Am I intruding? 00:25:54.314 --> 00:25:57.314 Just give the poor ghosts a little time. 00:25:57.386 --> 00:25:59.208 We're history, dude. 00:25:59.274 --> 00:26:01.794 Couldn't we look on tonight as a kind of dress rehearsal? 00:26:01.866 --> 00:26:04.200 You're finished, Plunkett! 00:26:04.266 --> 00:26:08.095 I am going to personally expose this pathetic fraud! 00:26:08.170 --> 00:26:10.985 There are laws, sir, against people like you. 00:26:11.050 --> 00:26:13.286 Marge, children, we're leaving. 00:26:15.114 --> 00:26:17.318 Maybe Jim Brogan'll give us another chance? 00:26:17.386 --> 00:26:20.386 Jim Brogan? What's Jim Brogan got to do with this? 00:26:20.458 --> 00:26:22.313 He has the mortgage on the place... 00:26:22.378 --> 00:26:23.872 and we've only got two weeks left... 00:26:23.946 --> 00:26:25.539 and then he's gonna throw us out. 00:26:25.610 --> 00:26:27.683 Jack, I'm very tired. I'd like to go to bed now. 00:26:27.754 --> 00:26:29.182 - Now! - Just wait a minute! 00:26:29.258 --> 00:26:32.706 What's going on here, Mr. Plunkett? 00:26:32.778 --> 00:26:36.226 So we told a lie. 00:26:36.298 --> 00:26:38.981 Everyone lies once in a while. 00:26:39.050 --> 00:26:40.960 So Katie isn't a ghost... 00:26:41.034 --> 00:26:43.489 and Julia still has her head on... 00:26:43.562 --> 00:26:45.766 and Eamon isn't a mummy... 00:26:45.834 --> 00:26:49.249 and the castle isn't haunted, but what of that? 00:26:49.322 --> 00:26:52.072 What you have to ask yourselves is... 00:26:52.138 --> 00:26:55.935 why did we do it? 00:26:56.010 --> 00:26:59.490 We did it because we love this place. 00:27:01.482 --> 00:27:04.711 Every little worm-eaten brick... 00:27:04.778 --> 00:27:07.877 every little rotting nook and cranny. 00:27:07.946 --> 00:27:13.510 Why should you Americans care if I lose my home? 00:27:13.578 --> 00:27:16.426 Castle Plunkett. 00:27:16.490 --> 00:27:21.029 And the villagers lose their only means of employment? 00:27:21.098 --> 00:27:22.211 Thank you, Katie. 00:27:23.626 --> 00:27:27.881 Jack, let's go to bed. 00:27:27.946 --> 00:27:29.986 - I care, Mr. Plunkett. - What? 00:27:30.058 --> 00:27:32.032 I care. 00:27:32.106 --> 00:27:36.165 Jim Brogan is my father-in-law, so I'm involved in this. 00:27:36.234 --> 00:27:39.649 You're Jim Brogan's daughter? 00:27:42.025 --> 00:27:47.590 Yes, my name's Brogan. 00:27:47.658 --> 00:27:49.185 I might as well tell you... 00:27:49.258 --> 00:27:51.112 that there won't be any extensions on your mortgage. 00:27:51.178 --> 00:27:52.454 I mean, not after tonight's performance. 00:27:52.522 --> 00:27:53.602 I don't believe this. 00:27:53.674 --> 00:27:55.397 Daddy asked me to check it out. 00:27:55.465 --> 00:27:58.433 I mean, this ghost business was too ridiculous. 00:27:58.506 --> 00:28:02.215 So you came to sabotage us? 00:28:02.282 --> 00:28:04.224 You did perfectly all right all by yourself. 00:28:04.298 --> 00:28:06.819 I didn't have to lift a finger. 00:28:09.674 --> 00:28:13.536 Jack, are you coming? 00:28:22.986 --> 00:28:26.335 Look, I don't know what to say. 00:28:27.594 --> 00:28:31.424 I didn't know. 00:28:31.497 --> 00:28:33.832 I didn't. 00:28:33.898 --> 00:28:36.745 For what it's worth, I think this place is great. 00:28:39.722 --> 00:28:41.151 You're the ghost in the bedroom. 00:28:43.721 --> 00:28:46.591 You were the banshee on the luggage rack. 00:28:56.298 --> 00:28:59.397 Sharon, hey, wait a minute! 00:28:59.466 --> 00:29:01.092 Daddy wants this place. He's always wanted it. 00:29:01.162 --> 00:29:02.568 He was born here. He hates the Plunketts. 00:29:02.634 --> 00:29:03.714 Why? 00:29:03.785 --> 00:29:06.152 Why not? Daddy hates most people. 00:29:06.218 --> 00:29:07.647 So you lied to me. 00:29:07.721 --> 00:29:09.925 You used our second honeymoon for Daddy. 00:29:09.993 --> 00:29:12.066 Jack, it's business. 00:29:12.138 --> 00:29:14.789 It's business? 00:29:14.858 --> 00:29:17.345 Obviously, a word you're not familiar with. 00:29:32.522 --> 00:29:33.635 Where are you going? 00:29:33.706 --> 00:29:36.073 To get drunk. 00:29:36.138 --> 00:29:39.683 I don't want you to lose your castle. 00:29:39.753 --> 00:29:42.503 Not to my father-in-law, he's a son of a bitch. 00:29:42.570 --> 00:29:45.188 Oh, my dear fellow, you're too kind. 00:29:45.258 --> 00:29:47.779 He's an unlovely combination... 00:29:47.850 --> 00:29:51.810 of a son of a bitch and a rat's knackers. 00:29:51.881 --> 00:29:53.791 What's a rat's knackers? 00:29:53.866 --> 00:29:59.582 It's an unholy trinity of a muckraker, a gobshite... 00:29:59.658 --> 00:30:02.244 and a hoor's melt. 00:30:04.138 --> 00:30:06.953 The guy's a dick. 00:30:07.018 --> 00:30:08.294 In a word. 00:30:08.361 --> 00:30:10.783 Would you like a drink? 00:30:10.858 --> 00:30:12.232 I thought I had one. 00:30:12.297 --> 00:30:14.850 I mean a real drink. 00:30:40.170 --> 00:30:42.242 Upsy-daisy. 00:30:52.554 --> 00:30:56.864 My father's brew. 00:31:14.474 --> 00:31:15.816 Oh, perfect. 00:31:15.882 --> 00:31:18.249 Look at the bad side... 00:31:18.314 --> 00:31:20.386 gotta look at the good side. 00:31:20.457 --> 00:31:21.406 There's constantly... 00:31:21.482 --> 00:31:24.067 There's two sides to every story. 00:31:29.994 --> 00:31:32.645 The milk of human kindness, Sharon. 00:31:32.714 --> 00:31:35.714 Three little words, every once in a while. 00:31:35.786 --> 00:31:37.990 Doesn't cost anything. 00:31:38.058 --> 00:31:41.189 '"I love you." 00:31:43.401 --> 00:31:46.401 Oh, shit. Wrong room. 00:31:48.426 --> 00:31:51.143 Our room's not this nice. 00:32:15.914 --> 00:32:18.248 - No, Martin! - It's not what you think. 00:32:18.313 --> 00:32:20.069 Oh, no, Martin. No! 00:32:20.137 --> 00:32:22.079 I know you. 00:32:22.153 --> 00:32:24.193 You're the girl in the painting! 00:32:24.265 --> 00:32:26.785 - So, you wee harlot. - No, Martin! 00:32:26.857 --> 00:32:29.345 You're the one in the painting. 00:32:29.418 --> 00:32:31.044 You'll tup with no one! Come here, lovey! 00:32:31.114 --> 00:32:32.358 Who's this guy? 00:32:32.426 --> 00:32:35.044 You're a great act. Real bruises, too, huh? 00:32:35.114 --> 00:32:36.194 Wow, that's great. 00:32:36.266 --> 00:32:38.437 Hey, pal, you should've done this earlier. 00:32:38.506 --> 00:32:39.815 I think you could've saved the place. 00:32:39.881 --> 00:32:41.255 Where is he? 00:32:42.346 --> 00:32:43.688 Martin, there's no one! 00:32:43.754 --> 00:32:45.609 Great outfits. 00:32:45.674 --> 00:32:46.918 Martin, there's no one! 00:32:47.913 --> 00:32:49.920 Looks real! 00:32:49.993 --> 00:32:51.749 Martin, there's no one! 00:32:51.817 --> 00:32:53.312 Looks a little rough, but real. 00:32:53.385 --> 00:32:54.531 Why don't I believe ya? 00:33:02.921 --> 00:33:04.928 This is so disgusting. 00:33:13.322 --> 00:33:16.966 Oh, Lord, she wouldn't die, not with a lie on her lips. 00:33:17.033 --> 00:33:20.132 Oh, God, what have I done? 00:33:20.201 --> 00:33:21.346 You killed her. 00:33:21.417 --> 00:33:22.628 Oh, Lord, what have I done? 00:33:22.698 --> 00:33:24.104 I told you, you killed her. 00:33:24.170 --> 00:33:26.112 Mary. 00:33:26.186 --> 00:33:27.396 Oh, Lord, what have I done? 00:33:27.466 --> 00:33:29.887 What did you do? She's a mess! 00:33:48.426 --> 00:33:51.328 There's a trap door down here. 00:34:01.162 --> 00:34:02.274 Oh, no, Martin! 00:34:06.378 --> 00:34:07.905 So, you wee harlot. 00:34:07.978 --> 00:34:09.571 No, Martin. No! 00:34:09.641 --> 00:34:10.951 Duck! 00:34:11.018 --> 00:34:13.385 You won't tup with me, huh? 00:34:13.449 --> 00:34:14.530 Please, no! 00:34:14.601 --> 00:34:17.219 The party's over, all right? 00:34:17.290 --> 00:34:18.915 Take your hands off the girl... 00:34:18.985 --> 00:34:21.505 or you're gonna be... OK, pal! 00:34:21.578 --> 00:34:24.033 Where is he? 00:34:24.106 --> 00:34:25.960 All right! Where is he? 00:34:26.025 --> 00:34:27.553 Martin, there's no one. 00:34:27.625 --> 00:34:30.112 Wait a minute, wait. 00:34:30.185 --> 00:34:32.072 What are you doing? She's a beautiful woman. 00:34:32.138 --> 00:34:34.080 That's a beautiful woman! 00:34:34.154 --> 00:34:35.266 Martin, there's no one! 00:34:35.337 --> 00:34:36.449 Then, why don't I believe ya? 00:34:42.121 --> 00:34:43.616 I'm hit. 00:34:46.056 --> 00:34:47.967 Oh, God. 00:34:50.056 --> 00:34:52.032 You dirty rotten... 00:34:52.105 --> 00:34:55.170 Mary? 00:34:55.241 --> 00:34:56.833 No, he missed me. 00:34:56.905 --> 00:35:03.332 Oh, Lord, she wouldn't die, not with a lie on her lips. 00:35:03.402 --> 00:35:05.190 Oh, Lord, what have I done? 00:35:05.257 --> 00:35:07.232 Oh, God, what have I done? 00:35:12.233 --> 00:35:13.346 Who are you guys? 00:35:15.305 --> 00:35:16.614 I'm Mary Plunkett. 00:35:18.314 --> 00:35:20.354 Wait a minute. 00:35:20.425 --> 00:35:23.109 This is an act. 00:35:26.121 --> 00:35:28.991 This is an act. Right? 00:35:32.201 --> 00:35:33.663 How can I thank you? 00:35:33.738 --> 00:35:35.265 For what? 00:35:35.338 --> 00:35:37.476 For your selflessness. 00:35:37.545 --> 00:35:43.688 I didn't do... I don't... 00:35:43.753 --> 00:35:45.095 How can I thank you? 00:35:45.161 --> 00:35:50.180 You're so beautiful. 00:35:50.250 --> 00:35:51.908 How can I thank you? 00:35:51.978 --> 00:35:54.727 Thank you. 00:35:54.794 --> 00:35:56.004 Don't go. 00:35:56.073 --> 00:35:57.731 Why do you have to go? 00:36:11.945 --> 00:36:13.887 I don't feel good. 00:36:38.985 --> 00:36:42.662 Sharon, I think I'm going crazy. 00:36:42.729 --> 00:36:45.763 I gotta know. Did you... 00:36:49.641 --> 00:36:51.648 Did you ever love me? 00:37:01.802 --> 00:37:05.315 Let's see if those pills really work. 00:37:11.305 --> 00:37:13.607 You've had a good life. 00:37:33.001 --> 00:37:36.100 Oh, God. 00:37:50.058 --> 00:37:52.392 You. 00:37:52.457 --> 00:37:54.846 You are... 00:38:15.625 --> 00:38:17.632 Good morning, darling. 00:38:17.705 --> 00:38:19.592 Good morning, Lavinia. 00:38:19.658 --> 00:38:23.203 Well, our son is an idiot. 00:38:23.273 --> 00:38:25.128 We've known that for years. 00:38:25.193 --> 00:38:28.390 Haven't we, darling? 00:38:28.458 --> 00:38:31.175 Well, this time, he has surpassed himself. 00:38:31.241 --> 00:38:32.801 The ghosts are furious. 00:38:32.873 --> 00:38:33.953 Why? 00:38:34.025 --> 00:38:36.196 Well, they've heard that that Jim Brogan fellow... 00:38:36.265 --> 00:38:38.153 is going to move the castle to Malibu. 00:38:38.217 --> 00:38:40.039 How nice. 00:38:40.105 --> 00:38:45.507 All that sunshine, and all those movies stars. 00:38:45.578 --> 00:38:48.807 No respectable ghost would live in California. 00:38:48.873 --> 00:38:51.873 Besides, they're Irish. What would they do there? 00:38:51.946 --> 00:38:53.855 Oh, if only I hadn't died. 00:38:53.929 --> 00:38:55.271 None of this would ever have happened. 00:38:55.338 --> 00:38:57.858 Well, you did die, didn't you, darling? 00:38:57.929 --> 00:38:59.271 So, what are we gonna do about it? 00:38:59.337 --> 00:39:03.428 Out of my hands. They won't listen to me. 00:39:03.497 --> 00:39:04.871 They're going to give those Americans... 00:39:04.938 --> 00:39:06.367 exactly what they came here for. 00:39:06.441 --> 00:39:09.092 Serve 'em right. 00:39:13.737 --> 00:39:15.111 I'm dead. 00:39:17.833 --> 00:39:19.905 So, this is what it feels like. 00:39:25.129 --> 00:39:27.398 Like a hangover. 00:39:29.513 --> 00:39:31.368 Peter? 00:39:31.433 --> 00:39:33.091 Peter, wake up. 00:39:34.953 --> 00:39:36.960 The Yanks are leaving. 00:39:37.033 --> 00:39:38.494 Really? 00:39:48.617 --> 00:39:53.124 As long as I'm dead, I might as well tell you. 00:39:53.193 --> 00:39:57.448 You've got all the warmth of a penguin on an iceberg. 00:40:01.353 --> 00:40:02.466 You're a dwarf. 00:40:02.538 --> 00:40:05.920 You'd better clean those choppers real good... 00:40:05.993 --> 00:40:08.895 so you can chew up the next jerk who comes along. 00:40:10.570 --> 00:40:11.715 I'm not dead? 00:40:11.785 --> 00:40:12.897 No, but if I were you... 00:40:12.969 --> 00:40:14.627 I wouldn't make any long-range plans. 00:40:14.697 --> 00:40:18.439 Great, Jack. Now I've got a massive migraine coming on. 00:40:18.505 --> 00:40:20.577 My B-complex level is rock bottom. 00:40:20.649 --> 00:40:23.202 Sharon, look... 00:40:23.273 --> 00:40:25.280 Let me see that. 00:40:25.353 --> 00:40:28.223 Sharon, I think... 00:40:28.297 --> 00:40:29.726 Get packed, Jack. 00:40:29.801 --> 00:40:32.768 Sharon, you took a Valium. 00:40:34.537 --> 00:40:36.359 Wrong pills. 00:40:38.921 --> 00:40:40.895 What did you have for your breakfast, little boy? 00:40:40.969 --> 00:40:43.238 Some tan fish. 00:40:43.305 --> 00:40:45.411 That was a nice change. 00:40:45.481 --> 00:40:49.791 I said this place is a nightmare, Daddy! 00:40:49.865 --> 00:40:53.029 Of course, I sound strange. I'm depressed. 00:40:53.097 --> 00:40:54.952 Everybody hates me. 00:40:55.017 --> 00:40:57.090 And, last night, Jack slept on the floor... 00:40:57.161 --> 00:40:59.299 and when he woke up, he said he was dead... 00:40:59.369 --> 00:41:01.791 and that I was a dwarf and that I had buck teeth... 00:41:01.865 --> 00:41:03.272 and you know how self-conscious I am... 00:41:03.337 --> 00:41:05.279 about those things, this is all your fault! 00:41:05.353 --> 00:41:07.720 I hate you! 00:41:07.785 --> 00:41:11.778 Miss Crawford? Are you all right? 00:41:11.849 --> 00:41:16.072 Do you think that I'm colder than a penguin on an iceberg? 00:41:16.137 --> 00:41:17.926 Oh. Well, no. 00:41:17.993 --> 00:41:20.862 No, you see, actually, penguins are a lot warmer... 00:41:20.937 --> 00:41:23.326 than people give them credit for. 00:41:27.497 --> 00:41:28.741 How dare you! 00:41:32.457 --> 00:41:35.075 I didn't... don't tell my wife. 00:41:36.618 --> 00:41:40.414 I mean, not that I did anything. 00:41:40.489 --> 00:41:44.231 Do you hear me, Sharon? Sharon, get on this phone! 00:41:45.513 --> 00:41:48.993 Will you talk to me, Sharon? 00:42:25.833 --> 00:42:29.029 You're real. I mean, you're not. 00:42:29.097 --> 00:42:32.512 You're a real ghost. 00:42:47.593 --> 00:42:50.114 I have to thank you for what you did last night. 00:42:50.185 --> 00:42:52.551 It was nothing. 00:42:52.617 --> 00:42:53.762 What did I do? 00:42:53.833 --> 00:42:57.510 You gave me my first moment of peace in near 200 years. 00:42:57.577 --> 00:42:59.813 I'll be in your debt for eternity, sir. 00:42:59.881 --> 00:43:02.500 It was nothing, and you don't have to call me sir. 00:43:02.569 --> 00:43:03.681 What can I call ya? 00:43:09.161 --> 00:43:10.590 Thank you, Sir Jack. 00:43:10.665 --> 00:43:12.290 It's on me. 00:43:16.713 --> 00:43:18.949 - Lovely dress. - My wedding dress. 00:43:19.017 --> 00:43:22.051 Today is my wedding day. 00:43:22.121 --> 00:43:24.160 Tonight, he'll murder me. 00:43:24.233 --> 00:43:25.989 You get murdered every night? 00:43:26.057 --> 00:43:29.286 Every night until last night. 00:43:29.353 --> 00:43:30.782 What about tonight? 00:43:30.857 --> 00:43:33.192 That depends on you. 00:43:33.257 --> 00:43:34.533 Why me? 00:43:34.601 --> 00:43:38.212 Your love broke the chain, crossed the boundaries... 00:43:38.281 --> 00:43:40.518 Oh, my God, hold on! You can't depend on me! 00:43:40.585 --> 00:43:42.887 Nobody can depend on me. My wife would never understand... 00:43:42.953 --> 00:43:44.993 Ah, twasn't love, then. 00:43:45.065 --> 00:43:47.039 Mary, we hardly know each other. 00:43:52.457 --> 00:43:53.635 Look, I gotta go! 00:43:53.705 --> 00:43:56.454 - Don't go, Jack! - I gotta, I just... look... 00:43:56.521 --> 00:43:58.147 You want to forget me. 00:43:58.217 --> 00:43:59.908 I don't know what I want! 00:43:59.977 --> 00:44:01.286 I just don't... 00:44:21.001 --> 00:44:24.099 What the heck? 00:44:49.480 --> 00:44:50.757 He's flying! Look at him! 00:44:52.937 --> 00:44:54.049 Me roof! 00:45:04.840 --> 00:45:06.269 Jesus Christ! 00:45:08.393 --> 00:45:12.648 So all the snakes weren't driven out of Ireland. 00:45:12.713 --> 00:45:15.364 - What? - The snakes! 00:45:45.897 --> 00:45:51.527 "To die; to sleep no more; and by a sleep to say we end..." 00:45:51.593 --> 00:45:53.862 Peter! They changed their minds! They're staying! 00:46:00.009 --> 00:46:01.897 There is a God. 00:46:08.041 --> 00:46:14.468 Hey, would your name conceivably be Jack? 00:46:27.529 --> 00:46:30.725 Welcome back, dear guests! 00:46:30.792 --> 00:46:33.181 Let me be the first to apologize... 00:46:33.257 --> 00:46:35.232 for our temperamental Irish weather. 00:46:35.305 --> 00:46:36.930 Shut up, Plunkett. Call us a cab. 00:46:37.000 --> 00:46:38.527 Certainly, Mr. Clay. Immediately. 00:46:43.464 --> 00:46:47.174 Deepest regrets, the phones are dead. 00:46:47.241 --> 00:46:49.281 The storm must've knocked them out. 00:46:54.792 --> 00:46:58.088 So, we're all together for one more night. 00:46:58.153 --> 00:47:02.430 It seems that we're becoming one big, happy family. 00:47:02.505 --> 00:47:04.644 Sorry, Mr. P. 00:47:07.561 --> 00:47:08.706 Plunkett! 00:47:08.777 --> 00:47:11.265 I'd rather walk into town in this suit of armor... 00:47:11.337 --> 00:47:12.864 and spend a night in a stable... 00:47:12.937 --> 00:47:15.424 than to spend one more second in this hell hole! 00:47:15.497 --> 00:47:18.912 Marge! Children! We're leaving! 00:47:21.833 --> 00:47:24.199 Malcolm! 00:47:31.049 --> 00:47:33.285 Oh, my God! 00:47:33.353 --> 00:47:36.070 Malcolm! 00:47:37.673 --> 00:47:40.040 Oh, God! 00:47:40.104 --> 00:47:42.243 Malcolm, can you hear me? 00:47:44.808 --> 00:47:46.947 Oh, please, let him be all right. 00:47:47.017 --> 00:47:48.806 Oh, dear God. 00:47:51.784 --> 00:47:55.461 Plunkett, this is your doing! 00:47:55.528 --> 00:47:56.608 Darling? 00:47:56.680 --> 00:48:00.292 Yes, I think we could stay one more night. 00:48:00.361 --> 00:48:02.248 Sweet Mother Mary... 00:48:02.313 --> 00:48:04.036 Saint Brigid... 00:48:04.104 --> 00:48:05.478 please don't let me marry him. 00:48:05.545 --> 00:48:06.789 Please release me. 00:48:06.857 --> 00:48:11.013 I don't love Martin, and I never will. 00:48:11.080 --> 00:48:13.862 Sweet Mother Mary, Saint Brigid... 00:48:13.929 --> 00:48:16.296 please don't let me marry him. 00:48:16.361 --> 00:48:17.855 Please release me. 00:48:17.929 --> 00:48:19.173 I don't love Martin. 00:48:22.633 --> 00:48:24.967 Sweet Mother Mary, Saint Brigid... 00:48:26.088 --> 00:48:27.397 please don't let me marry him. 00:48:27.464 --> 00:48:28.577 Please release me. 00:48:30.505 --> 00:48:31.617 Sweet Mother Mary... 00:48:34.697 --> 00:48:37.118 Sweet Jesus, what happened to you? 00:48:37.193 --> 00:48:39.015 I ran into a little wind. 00:48:39.080 --> 00:48:40.160 Oh, dear. 00:48:40.232 --> 00:48:43.102 That would be the spirits in the castle. 00:48:43.176 --> 00:48:45.282 Sorry. 00:48:45.353 --> 00:48:47.109 What are you doing? 00:48:47.177 --> 00:48:48.965 I'm praying to Saint Brigid... 00:48:49.032 --> 00:48:50.942 to release me from me marriage vows. 00:48:51.017 --> 00:48:53.734 Look, this is too psychotic for me. 00:48:53.801 --> 00:48:55.841 - I mean, look... - Saint Brigid... 00:48:55.912 --> 00:48:57.603 I mean, I'm as up for a good nervous breakdown... 00:48:57.672 --> 00:49:00.389 as anybody, really, but this is too much. 00:49:00.456 --> 00:49:01.536 I mean, I get here yesterday... 00:49:01.608 --> 00:49:03.496 my marriage collapses, then I save a ghost... 00:49:03.561 --> 00:49:04.870 from being murdered by another ghost. 00:49:04.937 --> 00:49:07.620 Now, if you think about it, that makes no sense at all. 00:49:07.689 --> 00:49:10.078 Then I fly through the air, hit a tree... 00:49:10.152 --> 00:49:14.211 and Renaldo the talking horse here... 00:49:14.281 --> 00:49:17.827 leads me to... - 00:49:17.897 --> 00:49:21.246 to the most beautiful... 00:49:21.320 --> 00:49:22.946 ghost that I've ever seen in my... 00:49:26.664 --> 00:49:31.334 Last night, when you took Martin's sword in my stead... 00:49:31.401 --> 00:49:36.223 you broke the cursed chain that has bound me for 200 years. 00:49:36.297 --> 00:49:37.890 What cursed chain? 00:49:37.961 --> 00:49:42.979 Me marriage to Martin Brogan was arranged by me father. 00:49:43.048 --> 00:49:44.357 I did not love him. 00:49:44.425 --> 00:49:49.247 He had warts, and his feet stank. 00:49:49.320 --> 00:49:54.055 On my wedding night, I refused to be tupped by him. 00:49:54.120 --> 00:49:57.503 - Tupped? - Tupped. 00:50:00.168 --> 00:50:01.542 I get it. 00:50:01.609 --> 00:50:03.070 Go on. 00:50:03.144 --> 00:50:07.966 He thought I loved another... though I did not. 00:50:08.041 --> 00:50:13.791 And in a jealous fury, he did me to death! 00:50:13.864 --> 00:50:18.272 Now, every day for me is the same. 00:50:19.945 --> 00:50:23.523 If I get murdered one more time, I'll scream. 00:50:23.593 --> 00:50:25.480 Who'd want to be a ghost? 00:50:25.544 --> 00:50:27.552 We are what we are. 00:50:29.449 --> 00:50:32.448 So... this Marty stank? 00:50:32.520 --> 00:50:35.652 Aye, and he squished. 00:50:35.721 --> 00:50:37.346 He squished? 00:50:37.416 --> 00:50:38.725 Squished. 00:50:38.793 --> 00:50:40.549 Oh, he squished! 00:50:40.617 --> 00:50:42.373 God... 00:50:44.584 --> 00:50:48.927 Could you love a man who belched but didn't squish? 00:50:50.504 --> 00:50:53.254 I could love you, Sir Jack. 00:50:53.320 --> 00:50:56.320 If you loved me, the miracle could happen. 00:50:59.848 --> 00:51:01.703 I can't. 00:51:01.768 --> 00:51:03.426 I cannot do this. I am married. 00:51:03.496 --> 00:51:05.885 Then you don't love me. 00:51:05.960 --> 00:51:09.441 - I didn't say that. - Then I am doomed forever. 00:51:09.513 --> 00:51:14.401 Even now Martin dons his garments, sharpens his knife. 00:51:14.473 --> 00:51:16.327 Good-bye, Sir Jack. 00:51:16.393 --> 00:51:18.694 Look, you're a ghost. I'm an American. 00:51:18.761 --> 00:51:19.971 It would never work out. 00:51:20.041 --> 00:51:22.529 Sweet Mother Mary. Saint Colum... 00:51:22.601 --> 00:51:25.535 Mary, look, I don't want you to get murdered again. 00:51:25.608 --> 00:51:29.154 It's just that my wife... if she found out, she'd murder me! 00:51:39.272 --> 00:51:41.028 Jack, is that you? 00:51:43.496 --> 00:51:46.496 God, I don't know what happened to me, but I feel zonked. 00:51:46.569 --> 00:51:50.824 I've got pains all over my body. Could you rub my back? 00:51:50.888 --> 00:51:53.441 Well, go on, Jack. I won't bite. 00:51:59.145 --> 00:52:01.665 Jack, you never did it like that before. 00:52:03.144 --> 00:52:04.606 Saint Patrick. 00:52:07.081 --> 00:52:08.903 Saint Jude. 00:52:11.048 --> 00:52:12.477 Saint Columcille. 00:52:14.120 --> 00:52:16.259 Saint Hocks McGorrick. 00:52:20.648 --> 00:52:22.503 Honey! What... 00:52:24.392 --> 00:52:26.051 Honey, what is it? 00:52:26.121 --> 00:52:28.968 Where have you been? There was a man in my bathtub! 00:52:29.032 --> 00:52:30.690 A big giant man, gigantic... 00:52:30.760 --> 00:52:32.670 and he's scrubbing my back, and it felt good! 00:52:32.745 --> 00:52:34.206 I should've known it wasn't you! 00:52:34.280 --> 00:52:35.654 He had warts all over his hands! 00:52:35.721 --> 00:52:37.444 Yeah, with warts. Yeah, that's Martin. 00:52:37.512 --> 00:52:38.941 - Who's Martin? - He's a ghost. 00:52:39.017 --> 00:52:40.610 - He's a what? - He's a ghost. 00:52:40.681 --> 00:52:42.568 He murders his wife every night. Other than that... 00:52:42.632 --> 00:52:43.876 I think he's pretty harmless, sweetheart. 00:52:43.944 --> 00:52:45.057 - Get out! - Honey, l... 00:52:45.129 --> 00:52:46.339 Sweetheart, look... 00:52:46.408 --> 00:52:48.350 Honey, you're... Honey, really... 00:52:48.424 --> 00:52:50.791 You don't understand. 00:52:50.856 --> 00:52:52.067 Honey, we've gotta talk. 00:52:57.897 --> 00:53:00.318 Are you OK, honey? 00:53:00.392 --> 00:53:02.279 Do I look OK? 00:53:02.345 --> 00:53:04.646 Not really. 00:53:18.792 --> 00:53:20.319 What are you doing? 00:53:21.992 --> 00:53:23.716 I have to check this place out. 00:53:25.993 --> 00:53:28.807 Something smells very wrong here. 00:53:28.873 --> 00:53:30.466 Yes, it does. 00:53:30.536 --> 00:53:33.853 It smells like... burnt rubber. 00:53:33.929 --> 00:53:35.619 No, that's me. 00:53:39.560 --> 00:53:41.731 To right, right. To left, left. 00:53:41.800 --> 00:53:43.011 Do you believe this? 00:53:43.081 --> 00:53:44.935 Only four channels! 00:53:45.001 --> 00:53:46.462 Cables must be unplugged. 00:53:46.536 --> 00:53:48.325 There's no cable. This is it. 00:53:48.392 --> 00:53:50.464 I tell ya. This place sucks the big one. 00:53:50.536 --> 00:53:52.871 Fingers together... 00:53:57.032 --> 00:53:58.941 Wendy! 00:54:00.232 --> 00:54:01.345 Mom! 00:54:03.593 --> 00:54:05.316 Woody! 00:54:12.552 --> 00:54:13.665 Look at the TV, guys. 00:54:22.568 --> 00:54:25.318 You horrible little children! 00:54:25.384 --> 00:54:28.700 Eternity's a big commitment. You know, it's a long time. 00:54:28.776 --> 00:54:31.296 You gotta take things one step at a time. That's the key. 00:54:35.336 --> 00:54:38.118 You do love her, don't you? 00:54:38.184 --> 00:54:40.705 Yeah, I guess I do. I don't know. 00:54:40.777 --> 00:54:42.849 What's the problem then? 00:54:42.920 --> 00:54:43.967 She's a ghost! 00:54:44.040 --> 00:54:47.553 She's dead. I'm alive. 00:54:47.624 --> 00:54:48.966 How do you know all this? 00:54:49.032 --> 00:54:51.171 I'm married to one. 00:54:55.272 --> 00:54:59.713 Won't you join us... for a drink? 00:54:59.784 --> 00:55:02.850 Yeah, I could use a drink. Yeah, sure. 00:55:07.144 --> 00:55:09.665 Oh, dear Lord. 00:55:09.737 --> 00:55:12.639 I do beseech thee to help me in this... 00:55:12.713 --> 00:55:15.080 my hour of need. 00:55:15.144 --> 00:55:18.624 Oh, cleanse me of these impure thoughts I have... 00:55:18.696 --> 00:55:22.274 for this woman... Miranda. 00:55:39.176 --> 00:55:40.551 Come on! 00:55:47.592 --> 00:55:49.479 Oh, Lord! 00:55:49.545 --> 00:55:51.333 I get the message! 00:55:55.624 --> 00:55:57.533 Brother Tony. 00:56:07.689 --> 00:56:09.477 Brother Tony, are you all right? 00:57:11.720 --> 00:57:16.128 Brother Tony, what are you doing in the pool? 00:57:16.201 --> 00:57:20.292 The Lord works in mysterious ways. 00:57:20.360 --> 00:57:24.899 True love can move mountains. 00:57:24.968 --> 00:57:28.132 Yeah, but it can't bring the dead back to life. 00:57:28.200 --> 00:57:31.713 Yes, it can, on All Hallows' Eve. 00:57:31.784 --> 00:57:34.402 Halloween. That's tomorrow night. 00:57:34.472 --> 00:57:38.247 When the spirit moves, and the flesh is willing... 00:57:38.312 --> 00:57:44.193 and the juices flow, and the skelping is mighty. 00:57:44.264 --> 00:57:45.758 What's skelping? 00:57:45.832 --> 00:57:48.320 It's a ghost term. 00:57:49.992 --> 00:57:51.519 But it's dangerous. 00:57:51.592 --> 00:57:53.828 You mustn't go too far. 00:57:53.897 --> 00:57:55.653 What do you mean? 00:58:29.384 --> 00:58:31.872 - Oh, it's you! - Whom were you expecting? 00:58:31.944 --> 00:58:33.983 Plunkett, those fake ghosts were one thing... 00:58:34.056 --> 00:58:35.333 This is entirely different, isn't it? 00:58:35.400 --> 00:58:36.807 Is there something wrong with your room? 00:58:36.872 --> 00:58:38.279 Something wrong with my room? 00:58:38.344 --> 00:58:39.905 What are you talking about, ghosts? 00:58:39.976 --> 00:58:41.864 - The brochure... - Damn the brochure! 00:58:41.928 --> 00:58:44.295 We're talking real, live spirits here! 00:58:44.360 --> 00:58:46.335 - How can you explain this? - The weather. 00:58:46.408 --> 00:58:48.710 Oh, come off it, will you? 00:58:48.776 --> 00:58:51.776 Don't you understand? He wants us here. 00:58:51.848 --> 00:58:54.750 He knows it's the only way he can keep this dump. 00:58:54.824 --> 00:58:56.351 I don't know about the rest of you... 00:58:56.424 --> 00:59:00.166 but, Plunkett, you haven't fooled me at all. 00:59:00.232 --> 00:59:01.793 I've been fooled. 00:59:01.864 --> 00:59:03.652 - Me, too. - I've been very fooled. 00:59:03.720 --> 00:59:04.865 Explain this to me. 00:59:06.888 --> 00:59:09.059 '"A ghost may not tup with a human." 00:59:09.128 --> 00:59:11.976 So this means a ghost cannot make love with a human being. 00:59:12.040 --> 00:59:14.179 Oh, my God! 00:59:16.840 --> 00:59:18.149 Who's Mary? 00:59:19.496 --> 00:59:20.608 Who's this Mary? 00:59:20.680 --> 00:59:22.054 She's a woman. She's a ghost. 00:59:22.120 --> 00:59:24.934 Don't start this ghost stuff again. 00:59:25.000 --> 00:59:26.625 - She's someone I care about. - What? 00:59:26.696 --> 00:59:28.606 It's funny how you can care. I think I'm falling... 00:59:28.680 --> 00:59:29.891 Jack, don't stand there and tell me... 00:59:29.960 --> 00:59:31.651 that you're having an affair with a goddamn ghost. 00:59:31.720 --> 00:59:32.799 Well, I am! 00:59:32.872 --> 00:59:34.880 That's it. Your lawyer, my lawyer... 00:59:34.952 --> 00:59:36.228 and I hope the ghost has a lawyer... 00:59:36.296 --> 00:59:37.441 because I want to meet him. 00:59:37.512 --> 00:59:39.400 Here she is! This is Mary. 00:59:39.464 --> 00:59:42.311 - No, Martin! - Mary the ghost. 00:59:42.376 --> 00:59:43.686 So you wee harlot! 00:59:43.752 --> 00:59:45.213 No, Martin! 00:59:45.288 --> 00:59:46.630 That's Martin the ghost! 00:59:46.696 --> 00:59:48.638 That's the man that was in my bathtub! 00:59:48.712 --> 00:59:50.784 See, he's gonna come over here and throw her on the bed. 00:59:50.856 --> 00:59:53.191 - He's gigantic. - That's Martin the ghost. 00:59:53.256 --> 00:59:54.597 They're having problems in their relationship. 00:59:54.664 --> 00:59:56.486 No, Jack, we're having problems in our relationship. 00:59:56.552 --> 00:59:58.046 - Come here! - Honey... 00:59:58.120 --> 00:59:59.582 You gotta see this. Come on. 00:59:59.656 --> 01:00:04.097 He's gonna run after her and throw her against the wall. 01:00:04.168 --> 01:00:05.509 There's no one! 01:00:05.576 --> 01:00:06.885 Oh, yes, there is. My husband! 01:00:06.952 --> 01:00:09.472 Now he throws her over there. This is the bad part here. 01:00:09.544 --> 01:00:11.431 - Martin, there's no one! - Why don't I believe ya? 01:00:11.496 --> 01:00:13.470 - Please, don't! - Honey. 01:00:13.544 --> 01:00:15.268 - You can't just kick a ghost. - Did you see that? 01:00:15.336 --> 01:00:16.481 Now look what you did. 01:00:19.400 --> 01:00:21.789 Wait, Mary! 01:00:24.488 --> 01:00:26.276 I love you. 01:00:26.344 --> 01:00:27.805 I know that. 01:00:27.880 --> 01:00:29.702 You do? 01:00:29.768 --> 01:00:31.623 When did you know that? 01:00:31.688 --> 01:00:34.110 The minute I saw ya. 01:00:34.184 --> 01:00:37.861 The minute I knew I loved you... 01:00:37.928 --> 01:00:40.262 but your love must be true. 01:00:40.328 --> 01:00:41.506 It is. 01:00:41.576 --> 01:00:44.892 It must withstand all obstacles. 01:00:44.968 --> 01:00:46.430 It will. 01:00:46.504 --> 01:00:50.300 Oh, Mary, my darlin'. What have I done to ya? 01:00:50.376 --> 01:00:52.100 What have I done? 01:00:53.544 --> 01:00:55.431 That was a dirty trick, wasn't it? 01:00:55.496 --> 01:00:57.732 Hey? 01:00:57.800 --> 01:00:59.775 Kicking me right in the bahoggies. 01:00:59.848 --> 01:01:01.888 But you were gonna stab your wife with a sword, you pig. 01:01:01.959 --> 01:01:03.847 Shoot, that's no big thing. I do it every night. 01:01:03.912 --> 01:01:05.439 And I suppose watching other men's wives... 01:01:05.512 --> 01:01:08.229 in the bathtub is no big deal, either. 01:01:08.296 --> 01:01:11.013 I'm sure it's a grand thing if the wife happens to be you. 01:01:12.616 --> 01:01:14.526 You dirty peeping tom. 01:01:14.600 --> 01:01:16.901 Me name is not Thomas. It's Martin. 01:01:16.967 --> 01:01:21.277 Oh, Mary. I'm sorry, darlin'. 01:01:21.352 --> 01:01:23.240 What have I done to ya? 01:01:26.152 --> 01:01:27.559 Oh, God. 01:01:27.623 --> 01:01:28.900 Here, give us a wee scub before... 01:01:28.968 --> 01:01:30.495 No, not again. 01:01:30.568 --> 01:01:33.317 You're a wily vixen, aren't ya? 01:01:33.383 --> 01:01:36.198 Oh, Lord, what have I done? 01:01:36.263 --> 01:01:38.052 Oh, God, what have I done? 01:01:38.120 --> 01:01:42.627 Oh, God, what a woman. 01:01:42.696 --> 01:01:46.852 You're not so bad yourself. 01:01:50.024 --> 01:01:51.234 What's skelping? 01:01:51.304 --> 01:01:53.311 Skelping. 01:01:55.111 --> 01:01:56.934 This is skelping. 01:02:29.000 --> 01:02:30.942 That's nasty. 01:02:31.016 --> 01:02:32.325 It wasn't nice? 01:02:33.863 --> 01:02:35.424 It was nice. 01:02:35.496 --> 01:02:37.951 It was very, very nice. 01:02:40.264 --> 01:02:42.882 Hold on, Mary. Wait a minute. 01:02:42.952 --> 01:02:46.051 You can't just skelp me and leave me. 01:02:46.120 --> 01:02:47.843 Can't help it. 01:02:47.911 --> 01:02:49.570 Skelping takes a lot out of you. 01:02:49.640 --> 01:02:52.160 Look, Mary, l... 01:02:52.232 --> 01:02:56.007 I'll be in the chamber midnight tomorrow. 01:03:04.264 --> 01:03:08.737 So what's wrong with the Americans? 01:03:08.808 --> 01:03:13.063 What's wrong with these Americans? 01:03:13.127 --> 01:03:15.396 One night they're desperate to leave... 01:03:15.464 --> 01:03:18.627 the next night you can't get rid of them. 01:03:18.696 --> 01:03:20.899 One day they hate the whiting... 01:03:20.968 --> 01:03:24.644 the next day, they have to have all five courses. 01:03:24.712 --> 01:03:26.272 When you break your back... 01:03:26.344 --> 01:03:28.548 to give them the ghosts you thought they wanted... 01:03:28.616 --> 01:03:31.005 they scream at you, and when you throw the towel in... 01:03:31.080 --> 01:03:32.989 they scream even louder. 01:03:33.064 --> 01:03:36.031 They see spooks everywhere... 01:03:36.104 --> 01:03:40.447 spooks in the bathroom, spooks under the bed. 01:03:40.519 --> 01:03:43.334 Don't they know when the joke is over? 01:03:45.128 --> 01:03:47.168 They cower well enough. 01:03:50.536 --> 01:03:52.870 What is going on here? 01:03:52.936 --> 01:03:58.533 Eamon, why are chunks of masonry floating about? 01:04:21.608 --> 01:04:22.852 Mr. Plunkett... 01:04:24.167 --> 01:04:26.655 I think there's some people want to have a word with you. 01:04:26.728 --> 01:04:27.840 Who? 01:04:29.288 --> 01:04:31.655 Grand Uncle Peter. Grand Aunt Nan. 01:04:33.896 --> 01:04:35.652 Granny Joyce and her sister. 01:04:37.544 --> 01:04:39.038 Her half-sister. 01:04:39.112 --> 01:04:41.119 Not to mention... 01:04:43.400 --> 01:04:44.512 your daddy. 01:04:44.583 --> 01:04:46.209 But he's dead! 01:04:46.280 --> 01:04:48.167 I know. 01:04:48.232 --> 01:04:50.785 He looks terrible angry, too. 01:04:50.855 --> 01:04:52.644 I have a perfect right to be... 01:04:52.711 --> 01:04:54.948 considering what you have done to our ancestral home. 01:04:55.016 --> 01:04:56.292 Father! 01:04:59.304 --> 01:05:01.725 Let us in! 01:05:03.720 --> 01:05:05.793 Do you really think you could get away from me? 01:05:05.863 --> 01:05:08.319 Leave me alone. You're dead. 01:05:08.392 --> 01:05:11.206 Not so dead I can't see what a numbskull you are. 01:05:11.272 --> 01:05:13.410 Oh, fine! 01:05:13.479 --> 01:05:15.105 Call me names! 01:05:15.176 --> 01:05:16.517 That's so easy. 01:05:16.584 --> 01:05:18.918 Well, for God's sake, look at you. 01:05:18.983 --> 01:05:20.510 What did you ever give me this place for? 01:05:20.584 --> 01:05:22.689 You knew I was an incompetent. 01:05:22.760 --> 01:05:25.411 All I wanted to be was happily useless. 01:05:25.480 --> 01:05:28.382 You made me miserably useless giving me this place... 01:05:28.456 --> 01:05:31.619 baths to run, bills to be paid... 01:05:31.688 --> 01:05:35.070 and then dying on me just like that! 01:05:36.583 --> 01:05:38.307 Most people give some warning, you know... 01:05:38.376 --> 01:05:40.710 premature senility, angina, gout... 01:05:40.775 --> 01:05:43.841 bed-ridden for years... but not you, oh, no. 01:05:43.911 --> 01:05:46.759 Healthy as an old goat, you pop off one day in the orchard... 01:05:46.823 --> 01:05:48.514 and what then? 01:05:48.584 --> 01:05:53.123 Not a goddamn word, not a whisper. 01:05:54.888 --> 01:06:00.671 Did it never occur to you that I might need some advice? 01:06:00.744 --> 01:06:04.518 That I might miss you? 01:06:04.584 --> 01:06:07.583 Peter, I never thought... 01:06:07.655 --> 01:06:11.779 It's true... you old goat. 01:06:11.847 --> 01:06:13.986 I missed you, Daddy. 01:06:14.056 --> 01:06:18.529 Give your daddy a hug. 01:06:28.328 --> 01:06:29.920 Sorry, Peter. 01:06:34.600 --> 01:06:36.388 They will be back tonight. 01:06:36.455 --> 01:06:38.343 It is All Hallows' Eve. 01:06:38.408 --> 01:06:41.572 If you see anything, just ignore it completely. 01:06:41.640 --> 01:06:43.266 Just pretend that it didn't happen. 01:06:43.336 --> 01:06:45.539 Have you got that? 01:06:54.631 --> 01:06:56.224 I don't hear anything, do you? 01:07:00.488 --> 01:07:03.106 Don't you just love whiting? 01:07:22.312 --> 01:07:23.905 Madam. 01:07:26.023 --> 01:07:28.227 For you I missed my wedding for the first time in years... 01:07:28.295 --> 01:07:29.408 that's how much I want you. 01:07:29.480 --> 01:07:31.268 And sure, I know I'm a ghost... 01:07:31.335 --> 01:07:34.205 and a murderer, but forget about all that. 01:07:34.280 --> 01:07:36.963 Listen. Tonight's All Hallows' Eve... 01:07:37.031 --> 01:07:39.715 the one night in the year that I turn to flesh... 01:07:39.784 --> 01:07:43.428 so what do you say to a wee bit of skelping? 01:07:47.464 --> 01:07:48.990 Come on. 01:07:49.063 --> 01:07:50.886 At least tell me your name. 01:08:03.784 --> 01:08:05.474 Lady, I've got the best bahoggies... 01:08:05.543 --> 01:08:07.715 from here to Ballinderry. 01:08:07.784 --> 01:08:11.842 Come on. What do you say? Let's give it a twirl. 01:08:11.911 --> 01:08:13.340 Drop dead. 01:08:13.415 --> 01:08:15.782 Oh, God. What a woman. 01:08:42.727 --> 01:08:48.292 '"He who tups with the spirit finds only the grave... 01:08:48.359 --> 01:08:51.808 '"but the virtuous heart true love will save." 01:08:53.479 --> 01:08:57.952 '"He who tups with the spirt finds only the grave... 01:08:58.023 --> 01:09:02.147 '"but the virtuous heart true love will save." 01:09:26.152 --> 01:09:27.581 Some whiskey over here, please. 01:09:27.656 --> 01:09:29.345 Aye, the whiskey. 01:09:29.415 --> 01:09:30.942 Relax, everybody. 01:09:31.015 --> 01:09:32.225 Take it easy. 01:09:32.295 --> 01:09:34.946 They won't come into a bar, would they? 01:09:35.015 --> 01:09:36.160 They don't drink whiskey. 01:09:36.231 --> 01:09:37.344 - Who? - Spirits. 01:09:37.416 --> 01:09:39.969 - How the hell would I know? - The Irish ones do. 01:09:40.040 --> 01:09:41.894 - He says the Irish ones do. - Don't. 01:09:41.960 --> 01:09:45.189 Do they or don't they? You don't shaggin' know, do you? 01:09:45.256 --> 01:09:47.711 It may be no more than a local disturbance 01:09:47.783 --> 01:09:49.189 in the extraplaner ether. 01:09:49.255 --> 01:09:50.399 Ether, me bollocks. 01:09:50.470 --> 01:09:52.478 A supernatural belch, you know what I'm talking about? 01:09:55.048 --> 01:09:57.317 Hey! Drinks all around! 01:09:57.383 --> 01:10:00.100 - What's that? - It's none of it! No! 01:10:00.167 --> 01:10:02.272 Where's your ectoplasm now? 01:10:07.559 --> 01:10:08.868 Did you... 01:10:08.935 --> 01:10:10.594 It took the hurricane. 01:10:46.599 --> 01:10:48.486 What in the name of God is that? 01:10:48.551 --> 01:10:50.788 Dad, it's a submarine! 01:10:52.103 --> 01:10:55.583 Well, what's that shaggin' thing on top of it? 01:10:55.655 --> 01:10:57.662 It's a giant squid! 01:10:59.111 --> 01:11:00.388 Get off me! 01:11:00.455 --> 01:11:03.903 Yea, though I walk through the valley of death... 01:11:03.976 --> 01:11:06.976 I shall fear no evil for thou art with me. 01:11:07.048 --> 01:11:08.454 Mom! 01:11:15.559 --> 01:11:17.664 Thy rod and thy staff they will comfort me! 01:11:22.631 --> 01:11:23.743 Save the child! 01:11:37.031 --> 01:11:38.209 Heave! 01:11:38.280 --> 01:11:39.556 Mom! 01:11:41.031 --> 01:11:43.006 Heave! 01:11:45.415 --> 01:11:46.560 Tug and heave! 01:11:48.488 --> 01:11:50.855 - Heave! - Let's get him! 01:11:57.031 --> 01:11:58.819 Mom! 01:12:03.399 --> 01:12:04.511 Look! 01:12:05.927 --> 01:12:07.334 She's movin' on. 01:12:07.399 --> 01:12:09.374 She's movin' on 01:12:10.439 --> 01:12:12.195 Thank goodness. 01:12:12.263 --> 01:12:15.297 It's a bloody good thing we ignored it, huh? 01:12:51.911 --> 01:12:53.318 Hello. 01:12:54.535 --> 01:12:56.095 Hello. 01:12:59.655 --> 01:13:03.004 Oh, God, you're real. 01:13:08.263 --> 01:13:10.303 Having fun? 01:13:10.375 --> 01:13:12.230 It's gotten totally out of control here. 01:13:12.295 --> 01:13:14.051 I'm afraid I've been with my family. 01:13:14.119 --> 01:13:15.942 Is the roof leaking? 01:13:16.007 --> 01:13:18.789 You have no idea what it was like here. 01:13:20.167 --> 01:13:21.509 Did we just tup? 01:13:21.575 --> 01:13:23.135 No, but it's not too far off. 01:13:23.207 --> 01:13:25.280 Right. 01:13:25.351 --> 01:13:27.489 Hey, how about some champagne? 01:13:27.559 --> 01:13:31.269 A little champagne to get our mind off the old you-know-what. 01:13:31.335 --> 01:13:33.375 All right? 01:13:33.447 --> 01:13:35.356 I usually mess this up. 01:13:41.639 --> 01:13:43.614 Drink to me, only, with thine eyes... 01:13:43.688 --> 01:13:46.535 and I will pledge with mine; 01:13:46.599 --> 01:13:48.606 or leave a kiss within the cup... 01:13:48.679 --> 01:13:51.101 and I'll not ask for wine. 01:13:51.175 --> 01:13:54.241 That was so beautiful. Who wrote it? 01:13:54.311 --> 01:13:56.133 Ben Johnson. 01:13:56.199 --> 01:13:59.396 Ben Johnson. 01:14:00.711 --> 01:14:04.868 You know, whenever I hear Ben's material... 01:14:04.935 --> 01:14:07.969 it just makes me think about you-know-what. 01:14:08.039 --> 01:14:11.651 I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. 01:14:11.719 --> 01:14:13.661 - Quote me something. - Quote? 01:14:13.735 --> 01:14:15.012 Anything to keep our minds off... 01:14:15.079 --> 01:14:18.046 You-know-what. Right, a quote. 01:14:21.607 --> 01:14:24.902 There ain't nothin' in the world like a big-eyed girl... 01:14:24.968 --> 01:14:28.994 to make me act so funny, make me spend my money. 01:14:29.063 --> 01:14:33.023 Makes me feel real loose, like a long-necked goose. 01:14:35.015 --> 01:14:36.903 Oh, baby, that's what I like. 01:14:38.791 --> 01:14:40.613 That's so... 01:14:40.679 --> 01:14:41.857 Who wrote that? 01:14:41.927 --> 01:14:43.651 The Big Bopper. 01:14:43.719 --> 01:14:45.060 Maybe you know him. He's dead, too. 01:14:47.175 --> 01:14:48.669 Are you sure they're gone? 01:14:48.743 --> 01:14:51.907 - Everyone, stay behind me. - Stay behind him. 01:14:51.975 --> 01:14:53.982 I have to check this place out. 01:14:54.055 --> 01:14:56.160 Every inch of it... castle, grounds. 01:14:56.231 --> 01:14:58.849 - It's kind of scary... - Quiet! 01:14:58.919 --> 01:15:00.829 The Plunkett ancestors... 01:15:00.903 --> 01:15:03.074 - Check outside. - They're rather unapproachable. 01:15:13.959 --> 01:15:16.479 Sir Jack, I'm in me cups. 01:15:16.551 --> 01:15:18.820 No, it's nothing. 01:15:18.887 --> 01:15:20.709 I'm really drunk. 01:15:22.343 --> 01:15:23.717 - No, we mustn't. - Right. 01:15:23.783 --> 01:15:25.441 We should just be friends. 01:15:37.927 --> 01:15:39.356 Go! 01:15:42.695 --> 01:15:45.029 Halt! 01:15:45.095 --> 01:15:46.437 Go! 01:15:46.503 --> 01:15:47.997 How beautiful the night looks. 01:15:48.071 --> 01:15:50.406 I'm having the time of my life. 01:16:02.855 --> 01:16:05.921 Isn't it beautiful? 01:16:05.991 --> 01:16:08.130 Not as beautiful as you. 01:16:12.423 --> 01:16:13.830 Will ya hold on. 01:16:13.895 --> 01:16:15.684 Listen to the paracyclist! 01:16:16.775 --> 01:16:20.899 I formally declare this a spirit-free zone! 01:16:25.543 --> 01:16:31.239 If you ever go across the sea to Ireland 01:16:31.303 --> 01:16:36.867 Then maybe at the closing of the day 01:16:46.023 --> 01:16:48.030 Oh, God. 01:16:48.103 --> 01:16:49.565 I'm not tupping. 01:16:50.599 --> 01:16:53.054 I'm not tupping, right? 01:16:53.127 --> 01:16:55.232 This is somewhere... 01:16:55.303 --> 01:16:57.791 between a skelp and a tup, right? 01:16:59.047 --> 01:17:04.230 The women in the meadow making hay 01:17:04.295 --> 01:17:10.437 Just to sit beside a turf fire in the cabin 01:17:10.503 --> 01:17:16.449 And watch the sun go down on Galway Bay 01:17:16.519 --> 01:17:19.333 On Galway... 01:17:21.415 --> 01:17:23.454 Holy God, that's my shaggin' bus! 01:17:23.527 --> 01:17:25.567 It shouldn't be happenin'. 01:17:27.815 --> 01:17:29.376 Somebody's brought it here. 01:17:29.447 --> 01:17:31.486 Where's Jack? 01:17:41.511 --> 01:17:43.005 No, Jack. 01:17:43.079 --> 01:17:44.388 - OK. - Stop. 01:17:44.455 --> 01:17:46.211 We mustn't. 01:17:46.279 --> 01:17:47.740 - We can't! - We can't. 01:17:47.815 --> 01:17:49.506 - It's not right. - I know. 01:17:49.575 --> 01:17:50.785 Oh, that's nice. 01:17:50.855 --> 01:17:52.677 Yeah... I mean... 01:17:52.743 --> 01:17:55.132 - No, stop! - All right. 01:17:55.207 --> 01:17:57.596 Don't listen to me, Jack. Go on. 01:18:01.511 --> 01:18:03.966 Sharon, I love thee! 01:18:04.039 --> 01:18:06.243 And tonight's the holy night! 01:18:06.311 --> 01:18:09.660 Oh, Sharon, I love thee! 01:18:09.735 --> 01:18:11.709 No, Jack! Remember our promise? 01:18:12.775 --> 01:18:14.662 We can't. 01:18:14.727 --> 01:18:16.417 A little to the right. 01:18:16.486 --> 01:18:17.664 - There? - That's good. 01:18:18.663 --> 01:18:20.637 You for me. 01:18:20.711 --> 01:18:23.166 Come here, me lovely dearie. Come here to me! 01:18:25.191 --> 01:18:26.303 Where are ya? 01:18:29.191 --> 01:18:31.046 Sharon, wait! 01:18:31.111 --> 01:18:33.958 - I love you, Jack. - I love you, Mary. 01:18:50.599 --> 01:18:53.566 Actually, you look very like my mother. 01:18:53.639 --> 01:18:55.908 Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. 01:18:55.975 --> 01:18:57.982 Oh, Lord, please save this beautiful creature... 01:18:58.055 --> 01:18:59.713 from these demons. 01:18:59.782 --> 01:19:04.092 If a life must be taken, take mine. 01:19:05.446 --> 01:19:07.007 Oh, yea, though I walk... 01:19:07.079 --> 01:19:08.224 through the valley of the shadow of death. 01:19:08.295 --> 01:19:09.440 Brother Tony! 01:19:09.511 --> 01:19:11.104 Where are you going, Brother Tony? 01:19:11.175 --> 01:19:13.990 I shall fear no evil for thou art with me! 01:19:15.046 --> 01:19:18.658 My God, Jack. We shouldn't have. 01:19:20.647 --> 01:19:23.942 Mary, that was something. 01:19:37.990 --> 01:19:39.070 Where are you? 01:19:39.142 --> 01:19:40.735 Sharon, this isn't a joke anymore. 01:19:42.247 --> 01:19:44.897 Saint Hocks McGorrick, wait! 01:19:56.103 --> 01:19:58.558 Mary, what's happened? 01:19:58.631 --> 01:20:03.420 It's the powers, Jack. I'm 200 years old. 01:20:13.127 --> 01:20:16.476 He who tups with a spirit, tups with the grave. 01:20:17.607 --> 01:20:19.330 What do you mean? 01:20:20.934 --> 01:20:22.309 Help me! 01:20:28.775 --> 01:20:32.703 Jack, just tell me you love me. Make it all right. 01:20:32.775 --> 01:20:34.335 But you're not Mary. You're a corpse. 01:20:34.407 --> 01:20:36.895 Now, don't do this to me, darlin'. 01:20:36.967 --> 01:20:38.560 Get away from me. 01:20:38.631 --> 01:20:39.743 Help! 01:20:39.815 --> 01:20:41.670 Oh, bollocks! 01:20:43.079 --> 01:20:45.981 Holy Jesus! 01:20:50.215 --> 01:20:52.549 - Hi, Marty. - Where's the wife? 01:20:54.151 --> 01:20:55.939 Not mine, ya dolt. Yours. 01:20:56.935 --> 01:20:59.324 I'm being followed by a U.F. O! 01:21:00.806 --> 01:21:01.984 You can't get so excited. 01:21:02.055 --> 01:21:03.135 You think I don't know what's going on? 01:21:03.207 --> 01:21:06.687 - Excited? A bus... - Come here, me lovely! 01:21:09.159 --> 01:21:10.468 Hey there, Mary. 01:21:10.535 --> 01:21:12.444 We were just playin' around, darlin', you know? 01:21:14.567 --> 01:21:16.901 You threw me over for this? 01:21:19.879 --> 01:21:21.286 I mean, I knew you liked passive women, Jack... 01:21:21.351 --> 01:21:22.813 but she's half-dead. 01:21:22.886 --> 01:21:25.123 I hope she has a great personality, because this hurts. 01:21:25.191 --> 01:21:26.718 At least she said she loved me. 01:21:26.791 --> 01:21:27.968 That's a lot more than you ever did. 01:21:28.038 --> 01:21:29.413 I love you, Jack. I do. 01:21:29.479 --> 01:21:32.959 Ya wee harlot, I'll kill ya. 01:21:33.030 --> 01:21:36.194 She's looks dead enough already. Please, don't start that. 01:21:37.990 --> 01:21:39.845 Oh, Jack. Your wife's some woman. 01:21:39.910 --> 01:21:41.798 So's yours. 01:21:41.863 --> 01:21:43.041 So was yours. 01:21:45.383 --> 01:21:46.560 Where are you going? 01:21:49.799 --> 01:21:51.261 I was just kidding. 01:21:51.334 --> 01:21:53.058 You were made for each other. 01:21:53.127 --> 01:21:55.876 You look great. You really do. 01:21:57.863 --> 01:21:59.389 Bye, Mary. 01:21:59.462 --> 01:22:02.724 Sorry for the last 200 years, darlin'. 01:22:02.790 --> 01:22:06.751 Jack, you said you'd love me forever. 01:22:08.071 --> 01:22:09.500 I know. 01:22:09.574 --> 01:22:11.003 Mary, I just... 01:22:11.078 --> 01:22:13.380 You were so different then. 01:22:13.447 --> 01:22:16.796 Only on the outside, Jack. 01:22:16.871 --> 01:22:19.107 Inside I'm the same. 01:22:19.174 --> 01:22:23.714 Yeah, I know. I know looks aren't everything. 01:22:23.783 --> 01:22:24.993 I'm in here, Jack. 01:22:25.063 --> 01:22:27.746 It's just that they can help so much when you... 01:22:27.814 --> 01:22:30.084 - Kiss me. - Kiss you? 01:22:31.111 --> 01:22:33.216 Maybe we should get some moisturizer. 01:22:33.287 --> 01:22:35.359 - Kiss me, Jack. - Or some medical supervision. 01:22:35.430 --> 01:22:36.991 One last time. 01:22:40.615 --> 01:22:42.916 Please, Jack. 01:22:51.335 --> 01:22:53.244 Stop, let me catch my breath. 01:22:53.318 --> 01:22:54.845 Martin, where are you? 01:22:59.334 --> 01:23:00.643 Martin, wait! 01:23:00.710 --> 01:23:02.369 Don't go! 01:23:06.118 --> 01:23:08.540 How the hell did you get up there? 01:23:08.615 --> 01:23:10.590 No, don't go, Martin! No, wait! 01:23:26.470 --> 01:23:28.739 I'm in here, love! 01:23:28.806 --> 01:23:30.497 Martin, where are you? 01:23:33.638 --> 01:23:36.954 Oh, Sharon, you do love me, don't ya? 01:23:37.030 --> 01:23:39.518 You do love me, Sir Jack. 01:23:40.870 --> 01:23:42.561 Then look at me. 01:23:44.839 --> 01:23:46.977 Well, then, be with me forever. 01:23:47.046 --> 01:23:48.770 Any way you want it. 01:24:17.798 --> 01:24:19.205 Oh, my God. 01:24:22.566 --> 01:24:25.436 What have I done? 01:24:27.239 --> 01:24:29.246 You weren't meant for this. 01:24:29.318 --> 01:24:31.205 I didn't want this to happen. 01:24:31.271 --> 01:24:33.605 Oh, God. 01:24:44.998 --> 01:24:46.908 Forever, Jack. 01:25:01.031 --> 01:25:02.241 You're alive. 01:25:02.310 --> 01:25:03.804 Aye. 01:25:16.614 --> 01:25:19.003 What do you mean I'm dead? 01:25:19.079 --> 01:25:22.854 Now, take my word for it. 01:25:22.919 --> 01:25:24.512 You're just saying that... 01:25:24.583 --> 01:25:26.557 so you can have your wicked way with me. 01:25:26.630 --> 01:25:27.841 If you weren't dead I wouldn't be able... 01:25:27.911 --> 01:25:29.154 to have my way with you. 01:25:30.758 --> 01:25:32.351 This is ridiculous. 01:25:40.647 --> 01:25:44.476 You can't hide from me. 01:25:44.550 --> 01:25:45.924 I've got to find you. 01:25:45.990 --> 01:25:47.234 That's right! 01:25:49.702 --> 01:25:52.069 You can't fool me. 01:25:52.134 --> 01:25:53.411 They're gone. 01:25:53.479 --> 01:25:56.992 - Here, file that. - Malcolm, they're gone. 01:25:57.063 --> 01:25:58.524 They're not gone. 01:26:34.022 --> 01:26:35.964 Brother Tony, you forgot your collar. 01:26:36.038 --> 01:26:37.794 No, he didn't. He threw it away. 01:26:37.862 --> 01:26:39.651 Didn't you, baby? 01:26:45.319 --> 01:26:47.141 I'm only human. 01:26:49.350 --> 01:26:51.238 Here we are. 01:26:51.302 --> 01:26:53.157 Mr. Plunkett, single-handedly the worst vacation... 01:26:53.222 --> 01:26:54.400 that I've ever experienced in my life. 01:26:54.471 --> 01:26:55.551 Thank you, Mr. Clay. 01:26:55.623 --> 01:26:57.281 However, I'll be recommending Castle Plunkett... 01:26:57.351 --> 01:27:00.384 as the most haunted castle in the Western Hemisphere. 01:27:00.454 --> 01:27:02.243 I hope that helps you with your business. 01:27:02.310 --> 01:27:04.165 - Too kind. - I second that. 01:27:04.230 --> 01:27:05.408 Most gracious. 01:27:10.791 --> 01:27:12.613 - Bye. - See ya. 01:27:19.302 --> 01:27:21.026 They're gone, dear. 01:27:30.247 --> 01:27:33.094 Come on in. I'll make you a nice fish sandwich. 01:27:55.238 --> 01:27:58.206 I cannot thank you enough, Sir Jack, for deciding to stay. 01:27:58.279 --> 01:28:00.482 Hey, where am I gonna go, right? 01:28:00.550 --> 01:28:01.860 Listen, Mary. 01:28:01.927 --> 01:28:04.098 When are you gonna stop calling me "Sir"? 01:28:04.166 --> 01:28:05.955 Sorry, I can't help it. 01:28:06.022 --> 01:28:08.739 Maybe when you decide to marry me. 01:28:08.806 --> 01:28:10.431 Are you asking? 01:28:10.502 --> 01:28:15.172 My wife's hardly dead, and it was such a horrible death. 01:28:15.238 --> 01:28:16.962 Maybe we could wait a couple of centuries. 01:28:22.791 --> 01:28:25.573 We booked the hall till 12:00. How about a little privacy? 01:28:25.638 --> 01:28:28.420 The day is for the living, Jack. 01:28:28.486 --> 01:28:30.494 The night is for the dead. 01:28:32.198 --> 01:28:33.343 How's the corpse? 01:28:33.414 --> 01:28:35.105 Pretty good. How's the psycho? 01:28:35.175 --> 01:28:36.701 A pussycat. 01:28:36.774 --> 01:28:37.952 So was the trip worth it, Jack? 01:28:38.022 --> 01:28:40.804 Yeah. She thinks I'm brilliant. 01:28:40.870 --> 01:28:43.740 Mary, you've put on a wee bit of flesh since I last saw ya. 01:28:43.815 --> 01:28:45.603 I'm not gettin' stabbed every night, Martin. 01:28:45.670 --> 01:28:47.525 Mary, it hurt me more than it hurt you. 01:28:47.590 --> 01:28:49.729 Go on now with it. 01:28:49.798 --> 01:28:52.100 So how's the Yank? 01:28:52.166 --> 01:28:54.271 He takes me shoppin'. 01:28:54.342 --> 01:28:55.935 Come here to me. 01:28:56.006 --> 01:28:59.967 My love. My reason for dying. 01:29:00.038 --> 01:29:03.038 How'd she ever learn to dance like that? 01:29:03.111 --> 01:29:05.477 Happiness, Sir Jack. 01:29:05.542 --> 01:29:08.160 Yeah, happiness.