[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.73,0:00:16.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, I am not enjoying the party.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:16.99,0:00:18.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Behold poor souls!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.02,0:00:20.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The fates turn backwards on themselves.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.15,0:00:21.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There is danger looming ahead.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.12,0:00:23.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can see our bleak future.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.78,0:00:25.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I am doomed to know\Nall of the catastrophes
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.81,0:00:26.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that will befall us,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:26.78,0:00:28.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yet no one believes me.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.36,0:00:31.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Therefore, hark, Paris, Prince of Troy.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.06,0:00:33.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All is twisted and sour -
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.00,0:00:35.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I am not just talking\Nabout the fruit punch.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.65,0:00:37.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Can you not see all of the signs?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.67,0:00:40.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They are all around us,\Neven as we celebrate.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.10,0:00:41.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Look there,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:41.10,0:00:43.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hercules the strongest man\Nin the world, can break anything,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.90,0:00:45.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but he cannot break dance.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.66,0:00:46.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And look here,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.51,0:00:49.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hades is the Lord of the Dead,\Nyet he is the life of the party.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.80,0:00:51.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sisyphus refuses to rock and roll.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.99,0:00:56.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Prometheus the Titan gave us\Nthe gift of fire, but he’s banned smoking.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.26,0:00:58.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Athena has come to peace with the fact
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.64,0:01:00.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that her brother Apollo isn't very bright.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.76,0:01:01.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.72,0:01:03.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Narcissus broke up with himself.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.64,0:01:04.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.64,0:01:07.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Orpheus only speaks the truth,\Nbut he plays a lyre.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:07.52,0:01:10.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Dionysus is sober but Icarus is high,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.13,0:01:12.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Poseidon is sloshed\Nand Medusa just got stoned.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.58,0:01:13.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.59,0:01:15.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Atlas is on top of the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.31,0:01:16.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.40,0:01:18.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Athena is also proud of her humility,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.48,0:01:21.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and Hermes thinks\Nthat hubris belongs on pita bread.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.19,0:01:22.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.38,0:01:25.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Zeus knows everything except\Nhow to spell the word omniscient
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.30,0:01:26.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and Thor -
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.25,0:01:28.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What the hell is Thor doing here?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.24,0:01:29.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.35,0:01:38.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Midas has the Golden Touch
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.15,0:01:41.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but thanks to Aphrodite\Nhe has also got a touch of herpes.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.96,0:01:44.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Medea is offering advice on parenting.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.83,0:01:47.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Antigone is agreeable.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.47,0:01:49.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,An audience smart enough\Nto understand these jokes
Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.94,0:01:52.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is too intelligent to be amused by them.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.32,0:01:55.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And Oedipus’ date looks\Nold enough to be his mother!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.52,0:01:56.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.53,0:01:59.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And what do all\Nthese foreboding signs forebode?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.04,0:02:00.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We are all doomed to die.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.82,0:02:02.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Greeks are preparing an attack.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.49,0:02:05.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They will lay siege to this city\Nand destroy this city
Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.06,0:02:08.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and everyone within these walls shall\Nperish by flame and arrow and sword.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.58,0:02:10.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, and you're out of napkins.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.03,0:02:11.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)