WEBVTT 00:00:00.744 --> 00:00:03.742 When I was about 16 years old 00:00:03.742 --> 00:00:07.441 I can remember flipping through channels at home during summer vacation, 00:00:07.441 --> 00:00:09.971 looking for a movie to watch on HBO -- 00:00:09.971 --> 00:00:12.484 and how many of you remember "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"? 00:00:12.484 --> 00:00:17.485 Oh yeah, great movie, right? -- Well, I saw Matthew Broderick on the screen, and so I thought, 00:00:17.485 --> 00:00:20.197 "Sweet! Ferris Bueller. I'll watch this!" 00:00:20.197 --> 00:00:23.769 It wasn't Ferris Bueller. And forgive me Matthew Broderick, 00:00:23.769 --> 00:00:27.886 I know you've done other movies besides Ferris Bueller, but that's how I remember you; you're Ferris. 00:00:27.886 --> 00:00:33.639 But you weren't doing Ferris-y things at the time; you were doing gay things at the time. NOTE Paragraph 00:00:33.639 --> 00:00:36.967 He was in a movie called "Torch Song Trilogy." 00:00:36.967 --> 00:00:43.713 And "Torch Song Trilogy" was based on a play about this drag queen who essentially was looking for love. 00:00:43.713 --> 00:00:46.777 Love and respect -- that's what the whole film was about. NOTE Paragraph 00:00:46.777 --> 00:00:51.933 And as I'm watching it, I'm realizing that they're talking about me. 00:00:51.933 --> 00:00:57.526 Not the drag queen part -- I am not shaving my hair for anyone -- but the gay part. 00:00:57.526 --> 00:01:02.739 The finding love and respect, the part about trying to find your place in the world. 00:01:02.739 --> 00:01:09.089 So as I'm watching this, I see this powerful scene that brought me to tears, 00:01:09.089 --> 00:01:12.289 and it stuck with me for the past 25 years. 00:01:12.289 --> 00:01:17.398 And there's this quote that the main character, Arnold, tells his mother 00:01:17.398 --> 00:01:22.557 as they're fighting about who he is and the life that he lives. NOTE Paragraph 00:01:22.557 --> 00:01:27.776 "There's one thing more -- there's just one more thing you better understand. 00:01:27.776 --> 00:01:33.812 I've taught myself to sew, cook, fix plumbing, build furniture, 00:01:33.812 --> 00:01:36.669 I can even pat myself on the back when necessary, 00:01:36.669 --> 00:01:41.168 all so I don't have to ask anyone for anything. 00:01:41.168 --> 00:01:46.847 There's nothing I need from anyone except for love and respect, 00:01:46.847 --> 00:01:51.296 and anyone who can't give me those two things has no place in my life." NOTE Paragraph 00:01:51.296 --> 00:01:59.063 I remember that scene like it was yesterday; I was 16, I was in tears, I was in the closet, 00:01:59.063 --> 00:02:04.424 and I'm looking at these two people, Ferris Bueller and some guy I'd never seen before, 00:02:04.424 --> 00:02:08.722 fighting for love. 00:02:08.722 --> 00:02:12.851 When I finally got to a place in my life 00:02:12.851 --> 00:02:16.474 where I came out and accepted who I was, and was really quite happy, to tell you the truth, 00:02:16.474 --> 00:02:20.620 I was happily gay and I guess that's supposed to be right because gay means happy too. 00:02:20.620 --> 00:02:24.949 I realized there were a lot of people who weren't as gay as I was -- 00:02:24.949 --> 00:02:28.167 gay being happy, not gay being attracted to the same sex. 00:02:28.167 --> 00:02:33.211 In fact, I heard that there was a lot of hate and a lot of anger 00:02:33.211 --> 00:02:35.821 and a lot of frustration and a lot of fear 00:02:35.821 --> 00:02:40.690 about who I was and the gay lifestyle. NOTE Paragraph 00:02:40.690 --> 00:02:45.011 Now, I'm sitting here trying to figure out "the gay lifestyle," "the gay lifestyle," 00:02:45.011 --> 00:02:49.423 and I keep hearing this word over and over and over again: lifestyle, lifestyle, lifestyle. 00:02:49.423 --> 00:02:54.053 I've even heard politicians say that the gay lifestyle is a greater threat 00:02:54.053 --> 00:02:56.961 to civilization than terrorism. 00:02:56.961 --> 00:02:59.936 That's when I got scared. 00:02:59.936 --> 00:03:07.058 Because I'm thinking, if I'm gay and I'm doing something that's going to destroy civilization, 00:03:07.058 --> 00:03:11.684 I need to figure out what this stuff is, and I need to stop doing it right now. 00:03:11.684 --> 00:03:14.062 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:03:14.062 --> 00:03:18.985 So, I took a look at my life, a hard look at my life, 00:03:18.985 --> 00:03:23.205 and I saw some things very disturbing. 00:03:23.205 --> 00:03:27.041 (Laughter) 00:03:27.041 --> 00:03:30.795 And I want to begin sharing these evil things that I've been doing with you, 00:03:30.795 --> 00:03:33.092 starting with my mornings. 00:03:33.092 --> 00:03:36.138 I drink coffee. 00:03:36.138 --> 00:03:42.031 Not only do I drink coffee, I know other gay people who drink coffee. 00:03:42.031 --> 00:03:45.673 I get stuck in traffic -- 00:03:45.673 --> 00:03:49.151 evil, evil traffic. 00:03:49.151 --> 00:03:52.323 Sometimes I get stuck in lines at airports. NOTE Paragraph 00:03:52.323 --> 00:03:55.589 I look around, and I go, "My God, look at all these gay people! 00:03:55.589 --> 00:04:00.031 We're all trapped in these lines! These long lines trying to get on an airplane! 00:04:00.031 --> 00:04:06.257 My God, this lifestyle that I'm living is so freaking evil!" NOTE Paragraph 00:04:06.257 --> 00:04:13.644 I clean up. This is not an actual photograph of my son's room; his is messier. 00:04:13.644 --> 00:04:19.005 And because I have a 15-year-old, all I do is cook and cook and cook. 00:04:19.021 --> 00:04:23.962 Any parents out there of teenagers? All we do is cook for these people -- 00:04:23.962 --> 00:04:28.766 they eat two, three, four dinners a night -- it's ridiculous! 00:04:28.766 --> 00:04:31.338 This is the gay lifestyle. NOTE Paragraph 00:04:31.414 --> 00:04:38.201 And after I'm done cooking and cleaning and standing in line and getting stuck in traffic, 00:04:38.201 --> 00:04:41.804 my partner and I, we get together 00:04:41.804 --> 00:04:47.959 and we decide that we're gonna go and have some wild and crazy fun. 00:04:47.959 --> 00:04:51.783 (Laughter) 00:04:51.783 --> 00:04:55.135 We're usually in bed before we find out who's eliminated on "American Idol." 00:04:55.135 --> 00:04:59.353 We have to wake up and find out the next day who's still on 00:04:59.353 --> 00:05:04.439 because we're too freaking tired to hear who stays on. 00:05:04.439 --> 00:05:08.809 This is the super duper evil gay lifestyle. 00:05:08.809 --> 00:05:12.674 Run for your heterosexual lives, people. 00:05:12.674 --> 00:05:21.053 (Applause) NOTE Paragraph 00:05:21.068 --> 00:05:25.722 When my partner, Steve, and I first started dating, 00:05:25.722 --> 00:05:29.316 he told me this story about penguins. 00:05:29.316 --> 00:05:32.767 And I didn't know where he was going with it at first. 00:05:32.767 --> 00:05:36.703 He was kind of a little bit nervous when he was sharing it with me, but he told me that 00:05:36.703 --> 00:05:41.056 when a penguin finds a mate that they want to spend the rest of their life with, 00:05:41.056 --> 00:05:44.657 they present them with a pebble -- the perfect pebble. 00:05:44.657 --> 00:05:51.273 And then he reaches into his pocket, and he brings this out to me. 00:05:51.273 --> 00:05:55.250 And I looked at it, and I was like, this is really cool. NOTE Paragraph 00:05:55.250 --> 00:05:59.676 And he says, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you." NOTE Paragraph 00:05:59.676 --> 00:06:05.215 So I wear this whenever I have to do something that makes me a little nervous, 00:06:05.215 --> 00:06:08.804 like, I don't know, a TEDx talk. 00:06:08.804 --> 00:06:12.790 I wear this when I am apart from him for a long period of time. 00:06:12.790 --> 00:06:16.410 And sometimes I just wear it just because. NOTE Paragraph 00:06:16.410 --> 00:06:21.328 How many people out there are in love? Anyone in love out there? 00:06:21.328 --> 00:06:24.504 You might be gay. 00:06:24.504 --> 00:06:25.930 (Laughter) 00:06:25.930 --> 00:06:32.479 Because I, too, am in love, and apparently that's part of the gay lifestyle that I warned you about. 00:06:32.479 --> 00:06:38.744 (Applause) 00:06:38.744 --> 00:06:44.316 You may want to tell your spouse. Who, if they're in love, might be gay as well. 00:06:44.316 --> 00:06:48.218 How many of you are single? Any single people out there? 00:06:48.218 --> 00:06:53.384 You too might be gay! Because I know some gay people who are also single. 00:06:53.384 --> 00:07:00.129 It's really scary, this gay lifestyle thing; it's super duper evil and there's no end to it! 00:07:00.129 --> 00:07:03.473 It goes and goes and engulfs! NOTE Paragraph 00:07:03.473 --> 00:07:06.329 It's really quite silly, isn't it? 00:07:06.329 --> 00:07:11.718 That's why I'm so happy to finally hear President Obama come out and say 00:07:11.718 --> 00:07:13.713 (Applause) 00:07:13.713 --> 00:07:15.775 that he supports -- 00:07:15.775 --> 00:07:19.198 (Applause) 00:07:19.198 --> 00:07:22.560 that he supports marriage equality. 00:07:22.560 --> 00:07:27.130 It's a wonderful day in our country's history; it's a wonderful day in the globe's history 00:07:27.130 --> 00:07:32.176 to be able to have an actual sitting president say, enough of this -- 00:07:32.176 --> 00:07:35.890 first to himself, and then to the rest of the world. 00:07:35.890 --> 00:07:37.978 It's wonderful. NOTE Paragraph 00:07:37.978 --> 00:07:41.369 But there's something that's been disturbing me since he 00:07:41.369 --> 00:07:45.106 made that remark just a short time ago. 00:07:45.106 --> 00:07:51.666 And that is, apparently, this is just another move by the gay activists 00:07:51.666 --> 00:07:55.147 that's on the gay agenda. 00:07:55.147 --> 00:08:00.860 And I'm disturbed by this because I've been openly gay now for quite some time. 00:08:00.860 --> 00:08:04.550 I've been to all of the functions, I've been to fundraisers, 00:08:04.550 --> 00:08:09.035 I've written about the topic, and I have yet to receive my copy of this gay agenda. 00:08:09.035 --> 00:08:10.725 (Laughter) 00:08:10.725 --> 00:08:13.507 I've paid my dues on time, 00:08:13.507 --> 00:08:16.056 (Laughter) 00:08:16.056 --> 00:08:20.351 I've marched in gay pride flags parades and the whole nine, 00:08:20.351 --> 00:08:23.692 and I've yet to see a copy of the gay agenda. 00:08:23.692 --> 00:08:28.657 It's very, very frustrating, and I was feeling left out, like I wasn't quite gay enough. NOTE Paragraph 00:08:28.657 --> 00:08:33.860 But then something wonderful happened: I was out shopping, as I tend to do, 00:08:33.860 --> 00:08:42.283 and I came across a bootleg copy of the official gay agenda. NOTE Paragraph 00:08:42.283 --> 00:08:47.687 And I said to myself, "LZ, for so long, you have been denied this. 00:08:47.687 --> 00:08:52.703 When you get in front of this crowd, you're gonna share the news. 00:08:52.703 --> 00:08:56.574 You're gonna spread the gay agenda so no one else has to wonder, 00:08:56.574 --> 00:09:00.095 what exactly is in the gay agenda? 00:09:00.095 --> 00:09:03.575 What are these gays up to? 00:09:03.575 --> 00:09:06.409 What do they want?" NOTE Paragraph 00:09:06.409 --> 00:09:11.796 So, without further ado, I will present to you, ladies and gentlemen -- 00:09:11.796 --> 00:09:16.030 now be careful, 'cause it's evil -- a copy, 00:09:16.030 --> 00:09:21.463 the official copy, of the gay agenda. 00:09:21.463 --> 00:09:46.267 (Music) 00:09:46.267 --> 00:09:49.238 The gay agenda, people! 00:09:49.238 --> 00:09:53.175 (Applause) 00:09:53.175 --> 00:09:55.227 There it is! 00:09:55.227 --> 00:09:59.066 Did you soak it all in? The gay agenda. NOTE Paragraph 00:09:59.066 --> 00:10:02.317 Some of you may be calling it, what, 00:10:02.317 --> 00:10:05.461 the Constitution of the United States, is that what you call it too? 00:10:05.461 --> 00:10:10.661 The U.S. Constitution is the gay agenda. 00:10:10.661 --> 00:10:15.566 These gays, people like me, want to be treated like full citizens 00:10:15.566 --> 00:10:19.471 and it's all written down in plain sight. 00:10:19.471 --> 00:10:25.177 I was blown away when I saw it. I was like, wait, this is the gay agenda? 00:10:25.177 --> 00:10:29.386 Why didn't you just call it the Constitution so I knew what you were talking about? 00:10:29.386 --> 00:10:33.074 I wouldn't have been so confused; I wouldn't have been so upset. 00:10:33.074 --> 00:10:37.782 But there it is. The gay agenda. 00:10:37.782 --> 00:10:43.586 Run for your heterosexual lives. NOTE Paragraph 00:10:43.586 --> 00:10:50.318 Did you know that in all the states where there is no shading that 00:10:50.318 --> 00:10:53.459 people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered 00:10:53.459 --> 00:10:55.551 can be kicked out of their apartments 00:10:55.551 --> 00:10:59.687 for being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered? 00:10:59.687 --> 00:11:04.855 That's the only reason that a landlord needs to have them removed, 00:11:04.855 --> 00:11:10.697 because there's no protection from discrimination of GLBT people. 00:11:10.697 --> 00:11:15.846 Did you know in the states where there's no shading that 00:11:15.846 --> 00:11:22.032 you can be fired for being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered? 00:11:22.032 --> 00:11:26.043 Not based upon the quality of your work, 00:11:26.043 --> 00:11:30.045 how long you've been there, if you stink, 00:11:30.045 --> 00:11:36.718 just if you're gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered. 00:11:36.718 --> 00:11:42.048 All of which flies in the face of the gay agenda, 00:11:42.048 --> 00:11:45.763 also known as the U.S. Constitution. 00:11:45.763 --> 00:11:49.435 Specifically, this little amendment right here: NOTE Paragraph 00:11:49.435 --> 00:11:54.686 "No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities 00:11:54.686 --> 00:11:58.924 of citizens of the United States." NOTE Paragraph 00:11:58.924 --> 00:12:01.965 I'm looking at you, North Carolina. 00:12:01.965 --> 00:12:06.562 But you're not looking at the U.S. Constitution. 00:12:06.562 --> 00:12:11.873 This is the gay agenda: equality. Not special rights, 00:12:11.873 --> 00:12:16.049 but the rights that were already written by these people -- 00:12:16.049 --> 00:12:18.468 these elitists, if you will. 00:12:18.468 --> 00:12:22.499 Educated, well-dressed, 00:12:22.499 --> 00:12:25.187 (Laughter) 00:12:25.187 --> 00:12:27.928 some would dare say questionably dressed. 00:12:27.928 --> 00:12:30.707 (Laughter) 00:12:30.707 --> 00:12:34.489 Nonetheless, our forefathers, right? 00:12:34.489 --> 00:12:38.725 The people that, we say, knew what they were doing when they wrote the Constitution -- 00:12:38.725 --> 00:12:41.898 the gay agenda, if you will. 00:12:41.898 --> 00:12:47.221 All of that flies in the face of what they did. NOTE Paragraph 00:12:47.221 --> 00:12:52.732 That is the reason why I felt it was imperative that 00:12:52.732 --> 00:12:58.074 I presented you with this copy of the gay agenda. 00:12:58.074 --> 00:13:03.052 Because I figured if I made it funny, you wouldn't be as threatened. 00:13:03.052 --> 00:13:07.611 I figured if I was a bit irreverent, you wouldn't find it serious. 00:13:07.611 --> 00:13:13.038 But when you see the map, and you see our state of Michigan -- 00:13:13.038 --> 00:13:18.685 it's legal to fire someone 00:13:18.685 --> 00:13:22.579 for being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered, 00:13:22.579 --> 00:13:26.843 that it's legal to remove someone from their home 00:13:26.843 --> 00:13:31.453 because they're gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered, 00:13:31.453 --> 00:13:35.441 then you realize that this whole conversation about marriage equality 00:13:35.441 --> 00:13:38.909 is not about stripping someone's rights away, 00:13:38.909 --> 00:13:43.489 it's about granting them the rights that [have] already been stated. 00:13:43.489 --> 00:13:47.950 And we're just trying to walk in those rights that have already been stated, 00:13:47.950 --> 00:13:51.456 that we've already agreed upon. 00:13:51.456 --> 00:13:56.763 There are people living in fear 00:13:56.763 --> 00:14:00.380 of losing their jobs 00:14:00.380 --> 00:14:05.470 so they don't show anyone who they really are 00:14:05.470 --> 00:14:10.275 right here at home. This isn't just about North Carolina; 00:14:10.275 --> 00:14:15.964 all those states that were clear, it's legal. NOTE Paragraph 00:14:15.964 --> 00:14:19.188 If I could brag for a second, 00:14:19.188 --> 00:14:25.292 I have a 15-year-old son from my marriage. 00:14:25.292 --> 00:14:28.043 He has a 4.0. 00:14:28.043 --> 00:14:34.482 He is starting a new club at school, Policy Debate. 00:14:34.482 --> 00:14:38.709 He's a budding track star; 00:14:38.709 --> 00:14:45.170 he has almost every single record in middle school for every event that he competed in. 00:14:45.170 --> 00:14:47.673 He volunteers. 00:14:47.673 --> 00:14:50.908 He prays before he eats. 00:14:50.908 --> 00:14:57.103 I would like to think, as his father -- and he lives with me primarily -- 00:14:57.103 --> 00:15:01.020 that I had a little something to do with all of that. 00:15:01.020 --> 00:15:03.928 I would like to think that he's a good boy, 00:15:03.928 --> 00:15:08.295 a respectful young man. I would like to think that 00:15:08.295 --> 00:15:11.992 I've proven to be a capable father. 00:15:11.992 --> 00:15:15.745 But if I were to go to the state of Michigan today, 00:15:15.745 --> 00:15:20.677 and try to adopt a young person who is in an orphanage, 00:15:20.677 --> 00:15:24.276 I would be disqualified for only one reason: 00:15:24.276 --> 00:15:27.633 because I'm gay. 00:15:27.633 --> 00:15:32.436 It doesn't matter what I've already proven, what I can do with my heart. 00:15:32.436 --> 00:15:36.044 It's because of what the state of Michigan says that I am 00:15:36.044 --> 00:15:41.876 that I am disqualified for any sort of adoption. 00:15:41.876 --> 00:15:45.911 And that's not just about me, 00:15:45.911 --> 00:15:50.814 that's about so many other Michiganders, U.S. citizens, 00:15:50.814 --> 00:15:55.973 who don't understand why what they are 00:15:55.973 --> 00:16:01.253 is so much more significant than who they are. NOTE Paragraph 00:16:01.253 --> 00:16:06.630 This story just keeps playing over and over 00:16:06.630 --> 00:16:10.121 and over again in our country's history. 00:16:10.121 --> 00:16:13.978 There was a time in which, I don't know, 00:16:13.978 --> 00:16:18.007 people who were black couldn't have the same rights. 00:16:18.007 --> 00:16:23.322 People who happened to be women didn't have the same rights, couldn't vote. 00:16:23.322 --> 00:16:28.112 There was a point in our history in which, if you were considered disabled, 00:16:28.112 --> 00:16:32.849 that an employer could just fire you, before the Americans with Disabilities Act. 00:16:32.849 --> 00:16:36.203 We keep doing this over and over again. NOTE Paragraph 00:16:36.203 --> 00:16:40.787 And so here we are, 2012, 00:16:40.787 --> 00:16:43.116 gay agenda, 00:16:43.116 --> 00:16:46.984 gay lifestyle, and I'm not a good dad 00:16:46.984 --> 00:16:50.494 and people don't deserve to be able to protect their families 00:16:50.494 --> 00:16:55.165 because of what they are, not who they are. 00:16:55.165 --> 00:17:01.809 So when you hear the words "gay lifestyle" and "gay agenda" in the future, 00:17:01.809 --> 00:17:05.214 I encourage you to do two things: 00:17:05.214 --> 00:17:11.499 One, remember the U.S. Constitution, and then two, 00:17:11.499 --> 00:17:16.622 if you wouldn't mind looking to your left, please. 00:17:16.622 --> 00:17:19.778 Look to your right. 00:17:19.778 --> 00:17:25.245 That person next to you is a brother, is a sister. 00:17:25.245 --> 00:17:27.860 And they should be treated with love and respect. 00:17:27.860 --> 00:17:29.583 Thank you.