1 00:00:00,744 --> 00:00:03,742 When I was about 16 years old 2 00:00:03,742 --> 00:00:07,441 I can remember flipping through channels at home during summer vacation, 3 00:00:07,441 --> 00:00:09,971 looking for a movie to watch on HBO -- 4 00:00:09,971 --> 00:00:12,484 and how many of you remember "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"? 5 00:00:12,484 --> 00:00:17,485 Oh yeah, great movie, right? -- Well, I saw Matthew Broderick on the screen, and so I thought, 6 00:00:17,485 --> 00:00:20,197 "Sweet! Ferris Bueller. I'll watch this!" 7 00:00:20,197 --> 00:00:23,769 It wasn't Ferris Bueller. And forgive me Matthew Broderick, 8 00:00:23,769 --> 00:00:27,886 I know you've done other movies besides Ferris Bueller, but that's how I remember you; you're Ferris. 9 00:00:27,886 --> 00:00:33,639 But you weren't doing Ferris-y things at the time; you were doing gay things at the time. 10 00:00:33,639 --> 00:00:36,967 He was in a movie called "Torch Song Trilogy." 11 00:00:36,967 --> 00:00:43,713 And "Torch Song Trilogy" was based on a play about this drag queen who essentially was looking for love. 12 00:00:43,713 --> 00:00:46,777 Love and respect -- that's what the whole film was about. 13 00:00:46,777 --> 00:00:51,933 And as I'm watching it, I'm realizing that they're talking about me. 14 00:00:51,933 --> 00:00:57,526 Not the drag queen part -- I am not shaving my hair for anyone -- but the gay part. 15 00:00:57,526 --> 00:01:02,739 The finding love and respect, the part about trying to find your place in the world. 16 00:01:02,739 --> 00:01:09,089 So as I'm watching this, I see this powerful scene that brought me to tears, 17 00:01:09,089 --> 00:01:12,289 and it stuck with me for the past 25 years. 18 00:01:12,289 --> 00:01:17,398 And there's this quote that the main character, Arnold, tells his mother 19 00:01:17,398 --> 00:01:22,557 as they're fighting about who he is and the life that he lives. 20 00:01:22,557 --> 00:01:27,776 "There's one thing more -- there's just one more thing you better understand. 21 00:01:27,776 --> 00:01:33,812 I've taught myself to sew, cook, fix plumbing, build furniture, 22 00:01:33,812 --> 00:01:36,669 I can even pat myself on the back when necessary, 23 00:01:36,669 --> 00:01:41,168 all so I don't have to ask anyone for anything. 24 00:01:41,168 --> 00:01:46,847 There's nothing I need from anyone except for love and respect, 25 00:01:46,847 --> 00:01:51,296 and anyone who can't give me those two things has no place in my life." 26 00:01:51,296 --> 00:01:59,063 I remember that scene like it was yesterday; I was 16, I was in tears, I was in the closet, 27 00:01:59,063 --> 00:02:04,424 and I'm looking at these two people, Ferris Bueller and some guy I'd never seen before, 28 00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:08,722 fighting for love. 29 00:02:08,722 --> 00:02:12,851 When I finally got to a place in my life 30 00:02:12,851 --> 00:02:16,474 where I came out and accepted who I was, and was really quite happy, to tell you the truth, 31 00:02:16,474 --> 00:02:20,620 I was happily gay and I guess that's supposed to be right because gay means happy too. 32 00:02:20,620 --> 00:02:24,949 I realized there were a lot of people who weren't as gay as I was -- 33 00:02:24,949 --> 00:02:28,167 gay being happy, not gay being attracted to the same sex. 34 00:02:28,167 --> 00:02:33,211 In fact, I heard that there was a lot of hate and a lot of anger 35 00:02:33,211 --> 00:02:35,821 and a lot of frustration and a lot of fear 36 00:02:35,821 --> 00:02:40,690 about who I was and the gay lifestyle. 37 00:02:40,690 --> 00:02:45,011 Now, I'm sitting here trying to figure out "the gay lifestyle," "the gay lifestyle," 38 00:02:45,011 --> 00:02:49,423 and I keep hearing this word over and over and over again: lifestyle, lifestyle, lifestyle. 39 00:02:49,423 --> 00:02:54,053 I've even heard politicians say that the gay lifestyle is a greater threat 40 00:02:54,053 --> 00:02:56,961 to civilization than terrorism. 41 00:02:56,961 --> 00:02:59,936 That's when I got scared. 42 00:02:59,936 --> 00:03:07,058 Because I'm thinking, if I'm gay and I'm doing something that's going to destroy civilization, 43 00:03:07,058 --> 00:03:11,684 I need to figure out what this stuff is, and I need to stop doing it right now. 44 00:03:11,684 --> 00:03:14,062 (Laughter) 45 00:03:14,062 --> 00:03:18,985 So, I took a look at my life, a hard look at my life, 46 00:03:18,985 --> 00:03:23,205 and I saw some things very disturbing. 47 00:03:23,205 --> 00:03:27,041 (Laughter) 48 00:03:27,041 --> 00:03:30,795 And I want to begin sharing these evil things that I've been doing with you, 49 00:03:30,795 --> 00:03:33,092 starting with my mornings. 50 00:03:33,092 --> 00:03:36,138 I drink coffee. 51 00:03:36,138 --> 00:03:42,031 Not only do I drink coffee, I know other gay people who drink coffee. 52 00:03:42,031 --> 00:03:45,673 I get stuck in traffic -- 53 00:03:45,673 --> 00:03:49,151 evil, evil traffic. 54 00:03:49,151 --> 00:03:52,323 Sometimes I get stuck in lines at airports. 55 00:03:52,323 --> 00:03:55,589 I look around, and I go, "My God, look at all these gay people! 56 00:03:55,589 --> 00:04:00,031 We're all trapped in these lines! These long lines trying to get on an airplane! 57 00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:06,257 My God, this lifestyle that I'm living is so freaking evil!" 58 00:04:06,257 --> 00:04:13,644 I clean up. This is not an actual photograph of my son's room; his is messier. 59 00:04:13,644 --> 00:04:19,005 And because I have a 15-year-old, all I do is cook and cook and cook. 60 00:04:19,021 --> 00:04:23,962 Any parents out there of teenagers? All we do is cook for these people -- 61 00:04:23,962 --> 00:04:28,766 they eat two, three, four dinners a night -- it's ridiculous! 62 00:04:28,766 --> 00:04:31,338 This is the gay lifestyle. 63 00:04:31,414 --> 00:04:38,201 And after I'm done cooking and cleaning and standing in line and getting stuck in traffic, 64 00:04:38,201 --> 00:04:41,804 my partner and I, we get together 65 00:04:41,804 --> 00:04:47,959 and we decide that we're gonna go and have some wild and crazy fun. 66 00:04:47,959 --> 00:04:51,783 (Laughter) 67 00:04:51,783 --> 00:04:55,135 We're usually in bed before we find out who's eliminated on "American Idol." 68 00:04:55,135 --> 00:04:59,353 We have to wake up and find out the next day who's still on 69 00:04:59,353 --> 00:05:04,439 because we're too freaking tired to hear who stays on. 70 00:05:04,439 --> 00:05:08,809 This is the super duper evil gay lifestyle. 71 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:12,674 Run for your heterosexual lives, people. 72 00:05:12,674 --> 00:05:21,053 (Applause) 73 00:05:21,068 --> 00:05:25,722 When my partner, Steve, and I first started dating, 74 00:05:25,722 --> 00:05:29,316 he told me this story about penguins. 75 00:05:29,316 --> 00:05:32,767 And I didn't know where he was going with it at first. 76 00:05:32,767 --> 00:05:36,703 He was kind of a little bit nervous when he was sharing it with me, but he told me that 77 00:05:36,703 --> 00:05:41,056 when a penguin finds a mate that they want to spend the rest of their life with, 78 00:05:41,056 --> 00:05:44,657 they present them with a pebble -- the perfect pebble. 79 00:05:44,657 --> 00:05:51,273 And then he reaches into his pocket, and he brings this out to me. 80 00:05:51,273 --> 00:05:55,250 And I looked at it, and I was like, this is really cool. 81 00:05:55,250 --> 00:05:59,676 And he says, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you." 82 00:05:59,676 --> 00:06:05,215 So I wear this whenever I have to do something that makes me a little nervous, 83 00:06:05,215 --> 00:06:08,804 like, I don't know, a TEDx talk. 84 00:06:08,804 --> 00:06:12,790 I wear this when I am apart from him for a long period of time. 85 00:06:12,790 --> 00:06:16,410 And sometimes I just wear it just because. 86 00:06:16,410 --> 00:06:21,328 How many people out there are in love? Anyone in love out there? 87 00:06:21,328 --> 00:06:24,504 You might be gay. 88 00:06:24,504 --> 00:06:25,930 (Laughter) 89 00:06:25,930 --> 00:06:32,479 Because I, too, am in love, and apparently that's part of the gay lifestyle that I warned you about. 90 00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:38,744 (Applause) 91 00:06:38,744 --> 00:06:44,316 You may want to tell your spouse. Who, if they're in love, might be gay as well. 92 00:06:44,316 --> 00:06:48,218 How many of you are single? Any single people out there? 93 00:06:48,218 --> 00:06:53,384 You too might be gay! Because I know some gay people who are also single. 94 00:06:53,384 --> 00:07:00,129 It's really scary, this gay lifestyle thing; it's super duper evil and there's no end to it! 95 00:07:00,129 --> 00:07:03,473 It goes and goes and engulfs! 96 00:07:03,473 --> 00:07:06,329 It's really quite silly, isn't it? 97 00:07:06,329 --> 00:07:11,718 That's why I'm so happy to finally hear President Obama come out and say 98 00:07:11,718 --> 00:07:13,713 (Applause) 99 00:07:13,713 --> 00:07:15,775 that he supports -- 100 00:07:15,775 --> 00:07:19,198 (Applause) 101 00:07:19,198 --> 00:07:22,560 that he supports marriage equality. 102 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:27,130 It's a wonderful day in our country's history; it's a wonderful day in the globe's history 103 00:07:27,130 --> 00:07:32,176 to be able to have an actual sitting president say, enough of this -- 104 00:07:32,176 --> 00:07:35,890 first to himself, and then to the rest of the world. 105 00:07:35,890 --> 00:07:37,978 It's wonderful. 106 00:07:37,978 --> 00:07:41,369 But there's something that's been disturbing me since he 107 00:07:41,369 --> 00:07:45,106 made that remark just a short time ago. 108 00:07:45,106 --> 00:07:51,666 And that is, apparently, this is just another move by the gay activists 109 00:07:51,666 --> 00:07:55,147 that's on the gay agenda. 110 00:07:55,147 --> 00:08:00,860 And I'm disturbed by this because I've been openly gay now for quite some time. 111 00:08:00,860 --> 00:08:04,550 I've been to all of the functions, I've been to fundraisers, 112 00:08:04,550 --> 00:08:09,035 I've written about the topic, and I have yet to receive my copy of this gay agenda. 113 00:08:09,035 --> 00:08:10,725 (Laughter) 114 00:08:10,725 --> 00:08:13,507 I've paid my dues on time, 115 00:08:13,507 --> 00:08:16,056 (Laughter) 116 00:08:16,056 --> 00:08:20,351 I've marched in gay pride flags parades and the whole nine, 117 00:08:20,351 --> 00:08:23,692 and I've yet to see a copy of the gay agenda. 118 00:08:23,692 --> 00:08:28,657 It's very, very frustrating, and I was feeling left out, like I wasn't quite gay enough. 119 00:08:28,657 --> 00:08:33,860 But then something wonderful happened: I was out shopping, as I tend to do, 120 00:08:33,860 --> 00:08:42,283 and I came across a bootleg copy of the official gay agenda. 121 00:08:42,283 --> 00:08:47,687 And I said to myself, "LZ, for so long, you have been denied this. 122 00:08:47,687 --> 00:08:52,703 When you get in front of this crowd, you're gonna share the news. 123 00:08:52,703 --> 00:08:56,574 You're gonna spread the gay agenda so no one else has to wonder, 124 00:08:56,574 --> 00:09:00,095 what exactly is in the gay agenda? 125 00:09:00,095 --> 00:09:03,575 What are these gays up to? 126 00:09:03,575 --> 00:09:06,409 What do they want?" 127 00:09:06,409 --> 00:09:11,796 So, without further ado, I will present to you, ladies and gentlemen -- 128 00:09:11,796 --> 00:09:16,030 now be careful, 'cause it's evil -- a copy, 129 00:09:16,030 --> 00:09:21,463 the official copy, of the gay agenda. 130 00:09:21,463 --> 00:09:46,267 (Music) 131 00:09:46,267 --> 00:09:49,238 The gay agenda, people! 132 00:09:49,238 --> 00:09:53,175 (Applause) 133 00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:55,227 There it is! 134 00:09:55,227 --> 00:09:59,066 Did you soak it all in? The gay agenda. 135 00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:02,317 Some of you may be calling it, what, 136 00:10:02,317 --> 00:10:05,461 the Constitution of the United States, is that what you call it too? 137 00:10:05,461 --> 00:10:10,661 The U.S. Constitution is the gay agenda. 138 00:10:10,661 --> 00:10:15,566 These gays, people like me, want to be treated like full citizens 139 00:10:15,566 --> 00:10:19,471 and it's all written down in plain sight. 140 00:10:19,471 --> 00:10:25,177 I was blown away when I saw it. I was like, wait, this is the gay agenda? 141 00:10:25,177 --> 00:10:29,386 Why didn't you just call it the Constitution so I knew what you were talking about? 142 00:10:29,386 --> 00:10:33,074 I wouldn't have been so confused; I wouldn't have been so upset. 143 00:10:33,074 --> 00:10:37,782 But there it is. The gay agenda. 144 00:10:37,782 --> 00:10:43,586 Run for your heterosexual lives. 145 00:10:43,586 --> 00:10:50,318 Did you know that in all the states where there is no shading that 146 00:10:50,318 --> 00:10:53,459 people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered 147 00:10:53,459 --> 00:10:55,551 can be kicked out of their apartments 148 00:10:55,551 --> 00:10:59,687 for being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered? 149 00:10:59,687 --> 00:11:04,855 That's the only reason that a landlord needs to have them removed, 150 00:11:04,855 --> 00:11:10,697 because there's no protection from discrimination of GLBT people. 151 00:11:10,697 --> 00:11:15,846 Did you know in the states where there's no shading that 152 00:11:15,846 --> 00:11:22,032 you can be fired for being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered? 153 00:11:22,032 --> 00:11:26,043 Not based upon the quality of your work, 154 00:11:26,043 --> 00:11:30,045 how long you've been there, if you stink, 155 00:11:30,045 --> 00:11:36,718 just if you're gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered. 156 00:11:36,718 --> 00:11:42,048 All of which flies in the face of the gay agenda, 157 00:11:42,048 --> 00:11:45,763 also known as the U.S. Constitution. 158 00:11:45,763 --> 00:11:49,435 Specifically, this little amendment right here: 159 00:11:49,435 --> 00:11:54,686 "No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities 160 00:11:54,686 --> 00:11:58,924 of citizens of the United States." 161 00:11:58,924 --> 00:12:01,965 I'm looking at you, North Carolina. 162 00:12:01,965 --> 00:12:06,562 But you're not looking at the U.S. Constitution. 163 00:12:06,562 --> 00:12:11,873 This is the gay agenda: equality. Not special rights, 164 00:12:11,873 --> 00:12:16,049 but the rights that were already written by these people -- 165 00:12:16,049 --> 00:12:18,468 these elitists, if you will. 166 00:12:18,468 --> 00:12:22,499 Educated, well-dressed, 167 00:12:22,499 --> 00:12:25,187 (Laughter) 168 00:12:25,187 --> 00:12:27,928 some would dare say questionably dressed. 169 00:12:27,928 --> 00:12:30,707 (Laughter) 170 00:12:30,707 --> 00:12:34,489 Nonetheless, our forefathers, right? 171 00:12:34,489 --> 00:12:38,725 The people that, we say, knew what they were doing when they wrote the Constitution -- 172 00:12:38,725 --> 00:12:41,898 the gay agenda, if you will. 173 00:12:41,898 --> 00:12:47,221 All of that flies in the face of what they did. 174 00:12:47,221 --> 00:12:52,732 That is the reason why I felt it was imperative that 175 00:12:52,732 --> 00:12:58,074 I presented you with this copy of the gay agenda. 176 00:12:58,074 --> 00:13:03,052 Because I figured if I made it funny, you wouldn't be as threatened. 177 00:13:03,052 --> 00:13:07,611 I figured if I was a bit irreverent, you wouldn't find it serious. 178 00:13:07,611 --> 00:13:13,038 But when you see the map, and you see our state of Michigan -- 179 00:13:13,038 --> 00:13:18,685 it's legal to fire someone 180 00:13:18,685 --> 00:13:22,579 for being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered, 181 00:13:22,579 --> 00:13:26,843 that it's legal to remove someone from their home 182 00:13:26,843 --> 00:13:31,453 because they're gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered, 183 00:13:31,453 --> 00:13:35,441 then you realize that this whole conversation about marriage equality 184 00:13:35,441 --> 00:13:38,909 is not about stripping someone's rights away, 185 00:13:38,909 --> 00:13:43,489 it's about granting them the rights that [have] already been stated. 186 00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:47,950 And we're just trying to walk in those rights that have already been stated, 187 00:13:47,950 --> 00:13:51,456 that we've already agreed upon. 188 00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:56,763 There are people living in fear 189 00:13:56,763 --> 00:14:00,380 of losing their jobs 190 00:14:00,380 --> 00:14:05,470 so they don't show anyone who they really are 191 00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:10,275 right here at home. This isn't just about North Carolina; 192 00:14:10,275 --> 00:14:15,964 all those states that were clear, it's legal. 193 00:14:15,964 --> 00:14:19,188 If I could brag for a second, 194 00:14:19,188 --> 00:14:25,292 I have a 15-year-old son from my marriage. 195 00:14:25,292 --> 00:14:28,043 He has a 4.0. 196 00:14:28,043 --> 00:14:34,482 He is starting a new club at school, Policy Debate. 197 00:14:34,482 --> 00:14:38,709 He's a budding track star; 198 00:14:38,709 --> 00:14:45,170 he has almost every single record in middle school for every event that he competed in. 199 00:14:45,170 --> 00:14:47,673 He volunteers. 200 00:14:47,673 --> 00:14:50,908 He prays before he eats. 201 00:14:50,908 --> 00:14:57,103 I would like to think, as his father -- and he lives with me primarily -- 202 00:14:57,103 --> 00:15:01,020 that I had a little something to do with all of that. 203 00:15:01,020 --> 00:15:03,928 I would like to think that he's a good boy, 204 00:15:03,928 --> 00:15:08,295 a respectful young man. I would like to think that 205 00:15:08,295 --> 00:15:11,992 I've proven to be a capable father. 206 00:15:11,992 --> 00:15:15,745 But if I were to go to the state of Michigan today, 207 00:15:15,745 --> 00:15:20,677 and try to adopt a young person who is in an orphanage, 208 00:15:20,677 --> 00:15:24,276 I would be disqualified for only one reason: 209 00:15:24,276 --> 00:15:27,633 because I'm gay. 210 00:15:27,633 --> 00:15:32,436 It doesn't matter what I've already proven, what I can do with my heart. 211 00:15:32,436 --> 00:15:36,044 It's because of what the state of Michigan says that I am 212 00:15:36,044 --> 00:15:41,876 that I am disqualified for any sort of adoption. 213 00:15:41,876 --> 00:15:45,911 And that's not just about me, 214 00:15:45,911 --> 00:15:50,814 that's about so many other Michiganders, U.S. citizens, 215 00:15:50,814 --> 00:15:55,973 who don't understand why what they are 216 00:15:55,973 --> 00:16:01,253 is so much more significant than who they are. 217 00:16:01,253 --> 00:16:06,630 This story just keeps playing over and over 218 00:16:06,630 --> 00:16:10,121 and over again in our country's history. 219 00:16:10,121 --> 00:16:13,978 There was a time in which, I don't know, 220 00:16:13,978 --> 00:16:18,007 people who were black couldn't have the same rights. 221 00:16:18,007 --> 00:16:23,322 People who happened to be women didn't have the same rights, couldn't vote. 222 00:16:23,322 --> 00:16:28,112 There was a point in our history in which, if you were considered disabled, 223 00:16:28,112 --> 00:16:32,849 that an employer could just fire you, before the Americans with Disabilities Act. 224 00:16:32,849 --> 00:16:36,203 We keep doing this over and over again. 225 00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:40,787 And so here we are, 2012, 226 00:16:40,787 --> 00:16:43,116 gay agenda, 227 00:16:43,116 --> 00:16:46,984 gay lifestyle, and I'm not a good dad 228 00:16:46,984 --> 00:16:50,494 and people don't deserve to be able to protect their families 229 00:16:50,494 --> 00:16:55,165 because of what they are, not who they are. 230 00:16:55,165 --> 00:17:01,809 So when you hear the words "gay lifestyle" and "gay agenda" in the future, 231 00:17:01,809 --> 00:17:05,214 I encourage you to do two things: 232 00:17:05,214 --> 00:17:11,499 One, remember the U.S. Constitution, and then two, 233 00:17:11,499 --> 00:17:16,622 if you wouldn't mind looking to your left, please. 234 00:17:16,622 --> 00:17:19,778 Look to your right. 235 00:17:19,778 --> 00:17:25,245 That person next to you is a brother, is a sister. 236 00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:27,860 And they should be treated with love and respect. 237 00:17:27,860 --> 00:17:29,583 Thank you.