1 00:00:24,726 --> 00:00:26,526 NLP practioner 2 00:00:30,345 --> 00:00:31,485 Part 2 3 00:00:31,678 --> 00:00:35,678 A NeuroLIinguistic programmer's qualities 4 00:00:41,182 --> 00:00:44,772 What are the qualities a good neurolinguistic programmer must have? 5 00:00:44,780 --> 00:00:48,180 if in the previous chapter we saw the communication preconditions, 6 00:00:48,216 --> 00:00:50,776 in this one we'll see the qualities. 7 00:00:50,812 --> 00:00:53,312 The first fundamental quality 8 00:00:53,333 --> 00:00:56,123 follows one of the preconditions we saw before 9 00:00:56,141 --> 00:00:57,931 that is THE MAP IS NOT THE TERRITORY 10 00:00:57,975 --> 00:01:01,315 The first and greatest wuality of a good neuro linguistic programmer 11 00:01:01,447 --> 00:01:03,117 as well as a good communicator 12 00:01:03,117 --> 00:01:04,667 as well as a good coach 13 00:01:05,420 --> 00:01:09,940 As coach I mean the one who, in the common exception of the word, 14 00:01:09,982 --> 00:01:11,652 is a trainer. 15 00:01:11,693 --> 00:01:14,043 So who trains mentally and who 16 00:01:14,073 --> 00:01:17,733 in theory should have already gone beyond given things 17 00:01:17,733 --> 00:01:21,353 so the first thing a coach must do, or a neuro linguistic programmer 18 00:01:21,368 --> 00:01:22,198 or whoever he/she it 19 00:01:22,336 --> 00:01:29,716 must understand and become aware that your map is different from mine, from any other person's in the world. 20 00:01:29,716 --> 00:01:31,156 What does this mean? 21 00:01:31,190 --> 00:01:35,190 It means that all the experienced you've had in your life 22 00:01:35,190 --> 00:01:39,870 since your conception, not even your birth, but since your conception to now 23 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:45,700 have become filters which filter the outside reality 24 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:50,180 to make it become the reality represented insiede you. 25 00:01:50,230 --> 00:01:56,780 If you ever saw a camera, a reflex one to which you can add lens or filters 26 00:01:56,790 --> 00:01:58,850 or colours, or anything else 27 00:01:58,878 --> 00:02:02,178 it is like you as you bear, or rather, as soon as you are conceived 28 00:02:02,178 --> 00:02:04,568 they put this camera in your hand 29 00:02:04,592 --> 00:02:07,482 so the reality you take from the outside 30 00:02:07,512 --> 00:02:10,332 which pass through the lens is what you really see. 31 00:02:10,355 --> 00:02:12,215 Then, we'll udnerstand better what this means 32 00:02:13,023 --> 00:02:14,873 as the things happen 33 00:02:14,890 --> 00:02:18,620 like a trauma because your parents didn't want you 34 00:02:18,643 --> 00:02:23,823 this creates you a new filter already 35 00:02:23,851 --> 00:02:26,081 the world does not accept me 36 00:02:26,327 --> 00:02:31,037 you add another filter because maybe you parents beat you later 37 00:02:31,037 --> 00:02:31,967 so the world is violent 38 00:02:31,975 --> 00:02:33,345 and so forth... 39 00:02:34,303 --> 00:02:39,253 thoughts, emotions, traumas, events becoming filters, colours 40 00:02:39,253 --> 00:02:44,353 and many other things that somehow change the reality perception 41 00:02:45,831 --> 00:02:48,911 your reality perception will absolutely be different from mine 42 00:02:48,944 --> 00:02:53,574 it's like as... the classical example I maje is this one: 43 00:02:53,598 --> 00:02:57,348 imagine we both live in Rome 44 00:02:58,260 --> 00:03:02,750 but I go around by car and you go around by bus 45 00:03:02,781 --> 00:03:04,721 bus or subway 46 00:03:05,463 --> 00:03:10,663 what happens? My references are streets and monuments, 47 00:03:10,912 --> 00:03:15,172 your references are the bus stops and the subway platforms. 48 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:17,370 we have to fix an appointment: 49 00:03:17,387 --> 00:03:18,927 it's a mess, why? 50 00:03:18,937 --> 00:03:21,077 my map is different from yours. 51 00:03:21,097 --> 00:03:26,187 so I'll tell you "let's see next to the Olimpico movie theatre" 52 00:03:26,209 --> 00:03:27,739 I don't even now if it exists. 53 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:29,300 And you'll tell me : "Olimpico movie theatre? 54 00:03:29,333 --> 00:03:31,073 Where's the Olimpico movie theatre?" 55 00:03:31,113 --> 00:03:34,193 What's the Giulio Agricola subway platform? 56 00:03:34,227 --> 00:03:36,637 Giulio Agricola Subway? don't know. 57 00:03:36,673 --> 00:03:38,323 no, come one, in front of the shopping centre, the towers' one. 58 00:03:39,369 --> 00:03:44,649 towers shopping centre? but the one near to the terminal 31? 59 00:03:45,203 --> 00:03:51,333 termina, which bus? don't know, come one, a little ahead where there is that restaurant where you can eat fish 60 00:03:51,377 --> 00:03:54,047 we could go on like this endlessly 61 00:03:54,047 --> 00:03:57,797 until one of the two takes his map 62 00:03:57,924 --> 00:04:00,244 and overlpas it to the other's map 63 00:04:00,262 --> 00:04:06,602 so I should take my mental map of the monuments 64 00:04:06,602 --> 00:04:11,872 or sights, overlap it to your bus map 65 00:04:11,872 --> 00:04:14,642 and see where that movie theatre is. 66 00:04:14,662 --> 00:04:19,212 next to the Tuscolana platform, good. tuscolana subway platform 67 00:04:19,238 --> 00:04:21,578 and so we can meet. 68 00:04:22,174 --> 00:04:24,304 this is a very meaningful metaphor 69 00:04:24,371 --> 00:04:26,361 because if I don't understand which map is yours 70 00:04:26,384 --> 00:04:31,864 I can't ever enter your mind and help you, 71 00:04:31,877 --> 00:04:35,487 I can't ever understand your experience 72 00:04:35,506 --> 00:04:40,886 and if you think about it, the most of discussions or relationship problems 73 00:04:40,927 --> 00:04:44,927 occurs because we often say the same things 74 00:04:44,927 --> 00:04:47,827 I mean, we talk about the same things but in different ways. 75 00:04:48,498 --> 00:04:50,158 here's an example: 76 00:04:50,170 --> 00:04:54,840 two friends who are lifelong friends 77 00:04:55,242 --> 00:04:57,992 but one of them is sure about this: 78 00:04:58,258 --> 00:05:04,958 my best friend is who wouldn't ever wake me up at night, no matter what happens 79 00:05:04,958 --> 00:05:10,118 the other one thinks: my best friend is the one who if I get a flat at 3 am, 80 00:05:10,150 --> 00:05:11,540 I call him and he comes to me. 81 00:05:11,997 --> 00:05:15,237 now, they are best friends each other 82 00:05:15,249 --> 00:05:19,249 what happens if, by mistake, one of them gets a flat at 3 am? 83 00:05:19,621 --> 00:05:21,011 their friendship breaks up! 84 00:05:21,552 --> 00:05:25,212 simply because they both said to be best friends 85 00:05:25,257 --> 00:05:29,257 but they didn't know the maps of each other 86 00:05:29,260 --> 00:05:33,500 so according to me, the friendship is a thing, for you the friendship is another thing 87 00:05:33,521 --> 00:05:37,031 these two maps do not overlap, so they fight. 88 00:05:37,721 --> 00:05:39,971 and this usually occurs in the man-woman relationships, 89 00:05:39,984 --> 00:05:43,984 the job relationships, and probably in all relationships 90 00:05:44,482 --> 00:05:50,552 remember that the words, experiences, movements always come from those filters we talked about before. 91 00:05:50,693 --> 00:05:54,513 so I don't know your filters, but I know, 92 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:57,210 when I start a relationship, get in touch with you, 93 00:05:57,215 --> 00:05:58,355 your actions, 94 00:05:58,391 --> 00:06:03,851 and I judge your actions, usually, or interpret your actions 95 00:06:03,871 --> 00:06:06,831 based on my filters which are completely different from yours. 96 00:06:06,842 --> 00:06:12,852 so we both can talk freely about family, money, sex, 97 00:06:12,892 --> 00:06:16,702 anything but I don't know what this can mean to you, 98 00:06:16,702 --> 00:06:18,332 and you don't know what this means to me. 99 00:06:18,332 --> 00:06:22,692 but we are... and this is abig problem in our society which doesn't know these things 100 00:06:22,721 --> 00:06:28,061 we are absolutely sure that what I have in my mind is exactly the same for all the others 101 00:06:28,233 --> 00:06:32,933 and starting from this principle, we get angry because the others don't understand us, 102 00:06:33,587 --> 00:06:37,997 but actually it just takes... and for a good neurolinguistic programmer is the first thing to do, 103 00:06:39,368 --> 00:06:43,588 is understanding that the other person's map is not our map 104 00:06:43,628 --> 00:06:47,148 so what we have in our head is not important 105 00:06:47,177 --> 00:06:50,187 but we have to understand the other person's map. 106 00:06:50,205 --> 00:06:54,565 regularly, when I talk about these things, someone raises his hand and tells me... 107 00:06:54,578 --> 00:06:58,578 in video this doesn't happen but I am sure that someone of you 108 00:06:58,779 --> 00:06:59,899 now may think: 109 00:07:00,292 --> 00:07:03,852 "well, this is like you demean to the other person! 110 00:07:03,885 --> 00:07:04,635 no. 111 00:07:04,820 --> 00:07:07,070 it's like to understand the other person. 112 00:07:07,106 --> 00:07:12,376 because the second quality of a good neuro linguistic programmer 113 00:07:12,401 --> 00:07:17,651 is taking off his/her pride inside the communication 114 00:07:17,669 --> 00:07:23,719 because until I have the principle to not demean myself to him/her, 115 00:07:23,767 --> 00:07:25,157 it's him/her who has to understand. 116 00:07:25,157 --> 00:07:29,157 but in this case you become a communication expert 117 00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:35,847 and you have to understand, you don't have to demean yourself, but you have to understand the other 118 00:07:35,863 --> 00:07:39,063 and when you'll understant the other people, you can lead them 119 00:07:39,407 --> 00:07:44,567 somehow, you can create a valid communication for your goals 120 00:07:44,584 --> 00:07:46,784 I don't know which your goals are 121 00:07:46,862 --> 00:07:50,962 remember the NLP is a toolbox 122 00:07:50,989 --> 00:07:57,489 someone often talks about the NLP in a negatively 123 00:07:57,531 --> 00:08:01,181 it's something to manipulate, it's something to sell 124 00:08:01,188 --> 00:08:06,448 NLP is a toolbos, so if I teach you to use a knife 125 00:08:06,481 --> 00:08:13,791 if you use this knife to cut the bread and make a sandwich to feed a famished 126 00:08:13,811 --> 00:08:16,751 or you use this knife to kill someone 127 00:08:16,813 --> 00:08:18,883 I taught you to use the knife 128 00:08:18,948 --> 00:08:22,948 then it's your ethics which will decide how to use it, this is the NLP! 129 00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:24,241 they are tools. 130 00:08:24,253 --> 00:08:28,583 when you know how your mind works, 131 00:08:28,620 --> 00:08:30,890 it's you who decide what to do with it. 132 00:08:30,890 --> 00:08:33,810 sure you can manipulate, certainly, but it's what it's done to you every day 133 00:08:33,838 --> 00:08:37,208 by TV, politicians, and everything around you 134 00:08:37,208 --> 00:08:40,878 so it's also a way to protect you 135 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:48,820 and understand how ads posters, supermarkets planning, what they tell you in politics, 136 00:08:48,824 --> 00:08:53,674 what they tell you on tv. they often... most of all the ads. it's very fun 137 00:08:53,715 --> 00:09:00,345 they use NLP techniques which are nothing but of our mind working 138 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:05,960 to attract your attention, to install something in order that you'll see it in the supermarket 139 00:09:05,989 --> 00:09:09,259 you don't even why but you buy a good rather than another one 140 00:09:09,294 --> 00:09:12,194 because you are sure, and you don't know why you are sure about it 141 00:09:12,238 --> 00:09:18,308 that if you buy that, your dress will be whiter as most as it can 142 00:09:18,336 --> 00:09:19,386 etc etc 143 00:09:20,095 --> 00:09:24,705 these things are inside your mind but you don't know why but someone put them in it 144 00:09:24,727 --> 00:09:26,997 how? by using techniques you are going to learn! 145 00:09:27,028 --> 00:09:32,058 so how you'll use them, how you'll use these tools 146 00:09:32,089 --> 00:09:34,559 will exclusively depend on your ethics. 147 00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:36,075 My task is giving them to you. 148 00:09:36,089 --> 00:09:42,139 Sure, you can teach them to children, or use them to give them to your children 149 00:09:42,166 --> 00:09:47,096 to raise them without negativity or negative thoughts perhaps 150 00:09:47,124 --> 00:09:52,764 or fears, or limitations, or you can use them to sell more 151 00:09:52,790 --> 00:09:55,420 to manipulate people, or who knows what 152 00:09:55,434 --> 00:09:59,724 I repeat, the NLP is just tools, what you are going to do with them depends only on you. 153 00:09:59,976 --> 00:10:04,436 so to get in touch with another person 154 00:10:04,447 --> 00:10:08,647 you have to manage to stay outside your ego 155 00:10:09,116 --> 00:10:14,096 because until your ego will say you are better than someone else and you won't demean yourself, 156 00:10:14,119 --> 00:10:16,149 or will say that it's the other person who has to understand, not you 157 00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:22,223 this won't ever let you to enter the other person's map. 158 00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:25,006 another fundamental thing is that: 159 00:10:25,021 --> 00:10:32,261 you don't discover the map only inside the other person, 160 00:10:32,275 --> 00:10:36,565 therefore we don't learn the NLP only to communicate with another person 161 00:10:36,606 --> 00:10:38,816 but most of all 162 00:10:38,833 --> 00:10:41,743 and first of all to communicate with ourselves 163 00:10:41,756 --> 00:10:45,856 because we are the first who don't know our map 164 00:10:45,896 --> 00:10:47,526 but we act accordingly. 165 00:10:47,531 --> 00:10:49,831 Starting to know our map 166 00:10:49,831 --> 00:10:55,471 and understanding for which reason a given word said by a given person makes me jump, 167 00:10:55,471 --> 00:11:00,411 gets me angry or if my mother tells me something I react like this 168 00:11:00,416 --> 00:11:02,886 and I don't even know why, because I can't control it 169 00:11:03,293 --> 00:11:07,293 if my boss treats me in a given way my blood goes to my head 170 00:11:07,306 --> 00:11:08,546 and who knows what 171 00:11:08,550 --> 00:11:12,060 if I receive a bill, I feel bad for two days, 172 00:11:12,094 --> 00:11:16,954 if sometims I wake up, the weather is bad and I am in a bad mood 173 00:11:16,970 --> 00:11:20,210 you have a range of automatic behaviours, 174 00:11:20,242 --> 00:11:25,922 remember that 95% of these behaviours are completely automatic 175 00:11:25,963 --> 00:11:29,963 so they are driven by a part of you which has some maps 176 00:11:30,102 --> 00:11:33,242 that have been created through that filters range 177 00:11:33,261 --> 00:11:35,871 since you had been conceived to today 178 00:11:36,192 --> 00:11:38,782 and works completely automatically 179 00:11:38,819 --> 00:11:41,139 just like when you take driving lessons 180 00:11:41,140 --> 00:11:45,140 the first times you are forced to pay attention 181 00:11:45,156 --> 00:11:50,346 then after your behaviours and the teaching became inconscious 182 00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:51,377 everything is automatic 183 00:11:51,409 --> 00:11:54,599 and today you drive peacefully while you talk on the phone 184 00:11:54,616 --> 00:11:57,826 while you make up or while who knows what 185 00:11:57,867 --> 00:12:02,087 and your mind automatically runs these behaviours 186 00:12:02,089 --> 00:12:06,089 so much that it will happen to you many time that if you drive your car 187 00:12:06,099 --> 00:12:09,269 if you are used to always take the same road 188 00:12:09,282 --> 00:12:13,282 from your house to your office and one day instead of coming back home 189 00:12:13,301 --> 00:12:17,321 from the office you have to go to a friend of yours 190 00:12:17,336 --> 00:12:21,076 but you are lost in thought, automatically your mind will lead you at home 191 00:12:21,091 --> 00:12:25,091 because automatically your mind does what it has always done 192 00:12:25,095 --> 00:12:27,725 what it has been trained to, 193 00:12:27,725 --> 00:12:29,985 what for which those filters have been put in 194 00:12:30,017 --> 00:12:32,877 and if you don't give it a conscious order 195 00:12:32,877 --> 00:12:35,657 it will do what it has always done: it makes you do the usual road. 196 00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:38,311 and probably this happened to you. 197 00:12:38,334 --> 00:12:43,904 so in the 95% of cases your behaviours are completely unconscious 198 00:12:43,932 --> 00:12:47,152 we have to understand our map 199 00:12:47,188 --> 00:12:48,218 first of all 200 00:12:48,271 --> 00:12:51,061 to understand how these behaviours have been created 201 00:12:51,085 --> 00:12:53,105 and how to change them if we don't like them 202 00:12:53,116 --> 00:12:58,996 this obviously works for fears, phobias, limitations, blocks, everything 203 00:12:59,707 --> 00:13:02,647 as we go along, we'll learn how a maps is created 204 00:13:02,659 --> 00:13:05,439 and obviously our and the others' maps 205 00:13:05,461 --> 00:13:07,651 so when we'll learn how our mind works, 206 00:13:07,708 --> 00:13:12,418 we could change the things in it 207 00:13:12,444 --> 00:13:15,314 obviously we'll learn how the others' mind works 208 00:13:15,337 --> 00:13:18,407 and we could choose according to our ethics 209 00:13:18,454 --> 00:13:25,594 how to use these tools to... use them with the other people 210 00:13:25,631 --> 00:13:30,491 according to our goals, which I hope will be ethical for you watching this video. 211 00:13:30,751 --> 00:13:33,551 But how can we enter another person's map? 212 00:13:33,588 --> 00:13:36,248 or how can we discover our map? 213 00:13:36,266 --> 00:13:39,796 well, one of the easiest things is coming back to the other principle 214 00:13:39,817 --> 00:13:42,337 we saw before in the previous chapter which said: 215 00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:46,360 two ears - two eyes - one mouth 216 00:13:46,407 --> 00:13:52,257 that is listening, watching and then, if necessary, talking. 217 00:13:52,286 --> 00:13:59,506 but when you'll be skilled, you'll just need to watch with given rules 218 00:13:59,518 --> 00:14:03,618 you'll learn and to listen with given rules you'll learn 219 00:14:03,651 --> 00:14:09,511 and only watching and listening will show you inside the person 220 00:14:09,660 --> 00:14:16,200 all a range of features which show you the important parts of his/her map 221 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:21,840 when you'll understand the map, you can adjust your map to his or hers 222 00:14:21,878 --> 00:14:27,908 in order that the communciation will be valid and aimed at a positive goal. 223 00:14:28,332 --> 00:14:30,862 let's remember another fundamental thing 224 00:14:31,133 --> 00:14:36,283 the main goal of the NLP is producing rapports 225 00:14:36,580 --> 00:14:45,520 that is at an unsconscious level, we always talk about the communication with the others but it worths also with the communciation with ourselves 226 00:14:45,554 --> 00:14:51,594 because very often it's as we had someone behind us we don't get along with 227 00:14:52,074 --> 00:14:56,074 so often we feel like we can't do things 228 00:14:56,278 --> 00:14:58,948 I would like to do some things but something blocks me 229 00:14:58,969 --> 00:15:01,259 this thing blocking me is someone inside 230 00:15:01,426 --> 00:15:08,236 we don't see it as a strange entity, simply a sort of a inner child 231 00:15:08,279 --> 00:15:13,008 a sort of a person inside of us who hasn't grown up in a given way 232 00:15:13,018 --> 00:15:17,248 and that for some given reasons has chosen to put given filters in. 233 00:15:17,248 --> 00:15:22,158 Knowing this person, and knowing the person who is outside, 234 00:15:22,309 --> 00:15:26,699 is pretty easy, you have just to listen to it and be able to watch. 235 00:15:26,856 --> 00:15:29,326 what? we'll learn it in the next chapters 236 00:15:29,335 --> 00:15:35,285 so the map is pretty simple to discover when we know what to watch 237 00:15:35,359 --> 00:15:38,119 but a quality a neurolinguistic programmer must have 238 00:15:38,197 --> 00:15:41,447 is being able to listen and watch 239 00:15:41,516 --> 00:15:45,316 and this is linked to the need of being outside our ego 240 00:15:45,346 --> 00:15:47,486 because if we stay in our ego 241 00:15:47,506 --> 00:15:48,846 while a person talks, 242 00:15:48,879 --> 00:15:52,839 we talk us inside, we already thing about what we have to say 243 00:15:52,839 --> 00:15:55,479 without listening to the other we lose all those details 244 00:15:55,518 --> 00:15:59,758 the person giving us consciously or unconsciously 245 00:15:59,782 --> 00:16:01,882 in thousands ways you'll learn 246 00:16:01,907 --> 00:16:06,127 and that could be important to us to create an effective communication with the other 247 00:16:06,328 --> 00:16:09,178 I repeat: the same thing happens with ourselves 248 00:16:09,217 --> 00:16:13,627 it's a little bit harder watching ourselves from the outside but we can do that 249 00:16:13,811 --> 00:16:17,811 so remember the map in the neurolinguistic program... 250 00:16:19,104 --> 00:16:23,944 remember the map and the neuro linguistic program tells us: 251 00:16:23,973 --> 00:16:29,403 it comes from a programming so from things happened in the past 252 00:16:29,450 --> 00:16:32,780 and that has programmed our neuro, our mind 253 00:16:32,803 --> 00:16:36,343 and expresses itself through the linguistic 254 00:16:36,375 --> 00:16:41,605 as linguistic we mean not only what we say with words 255 00:16:41,623 --> 00:16:47,643 but the whole communciation, so the verbal and the paraverbal, then we'll learn what this means 256 00:16:47,677 --> 00:16:48,617 and the non-verbal 257 00:16:49,039 --> 00:16:52,089 so watching our or the others' communication 258 00:16:52,104 --> 00:16:57,554 we could understand how this external communication shows our internal map 259 00:16:57,593 --> 00:17:00,053 and we'll learn many things in the next chapters 260 00:17:26,246 --> 00:17:30,096 another quality a good neuro-linguistic programmer, 261 00:17:30,127 --> 00:17:32,137 a good communicatior and a good coach should have 262 00:17:32,166 --> 00:17:36,296 is becoming a juggler with words. 263 00:17:36,340 --> 00:17:40,910 because remember that our words can influence 264 00:17:40,950 --> 00:17:45,070 the other person's experience at any level 265 00:17:45,111 --> 00:17:46,861 for better or worse of course. 266 00:17:46,878 --> 00:17:48,248 but it depend on your ethics 267 00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:49,314 so your ethics is important 268 00:17:49,894 --> 00:17:54,864 when I can play with words 269 00:17:54,898 --> 00:17:58,948 and I can put them in the right place, in the right moment, in the right way, 270 00:17:58,989 --> 00:18:04,379 with the right tone, it doesn't take much to change an experience 271 00:18:04,395 --> 00:18:05,915 or reach a goal 272 00:18:05,972 --> 00:18:07,222 whatever the goal is. 273 00:18:07,232 --> 00:18:13,532 I repeat, it can be selling, conquering, changing something, manipulating, or helping a person 274 00:18:13,571 --> 00:18:21,421 or healing, or getting them over a limit, or a phobia, abything, when you know the map 275 00:18:21,444 --> 00:18:24,734 you know how given things work in your mind, 276 00:18:24,747 --> 00:18:28,277 when you can play with the words and with the linguistics 277 00:18:28,313 --> 00:18:32,313 you can use the right sentence in the right place, in the right moment 278 00:18:32,348 --> 00:18:36,348 but, I repeat, this is quality you get with the experience 279 00:18:36,545 --> 00:18:39,165 I remind you, as I sais in the previous chapter, 280 00:18:39,185 --> 00:18:42,825 the NLP is a range of tools, it's true. 281 00:18:42,848 --> 00:18:45,798 but your experience makes the actual difference. 282 00:18:46,257 --> 00:18:48,287 So, if you wathc these videos, you closed them 283 00:18:48,314 --> 00:18:52,314 and you do nothing but waiting for the next or watching the next one, 284 00:18:52,314 --> 00:18:56,134 without doing your exercises I suggest you to do at home 285 00:18:56,169 --> 00:19:00,639 and you don't continue to constantly do the exercises I suggest you to do outside 286 00:19:00,694 --> 00:19:03,324 and instead of doing this 287 00:19:03,352 --> 00:19:06,322 you go to the next videos and watch them until the end 288 00:19:06,322 --> 00:19:07,332 and you don't do the exercises 289 00:19:07,679 --> 00:19:09,389 well, it's useless: you're wasting your time! 290 00:19:09,435 --> 00:19:13,435 you're wasating your time listening to things that won't help you 291 00:19:13,492 --> 00:19:17,102 so you'll have a perfectly useless knowledge: it's as you read a book 292 00:19:17,143 --> 00:19:21,483 while if you apply all this 293 00:19:21,629 --> 00:19:23,389 you'll start licence driving 294 00:19:23,460 --> 00:19:27,670 so today and in the next chapter, we'll learn the representational systems 295 00:19:27,740 --> 00:19:35,650 well, to make this unconscious you'll have to apply it over and over again 296 00:19:35,724 --> 00:19:42,004 and apply it n tims, just like when you learn how to drive your car you had to drive and drive and drive... 297 00:19:42,066 --> 00:19:44,756 first, you learned how to make the gear change unconscious, 298 00:19:44,781 --> 00:19:48,221 then you learned how to make clutch unconscious, 299 00:19:48,241 --> 00:19:56,571 then the indicators, so little by little, you turned conscious behaviours into unconscious ones 300 00:19:56,606 --> 00:19:59,326 but you had to do n drives 301 00:19:59,326 --> 00:20:03,216 these n drives are nothing but many, many, many exercises 302 00:20:03,237 --> 00:20:06,437 and it's important that you go to the next exercise 303 00:20:06,461 --> 00:20:12,101 or to the next chapter only when you became perfectly able 304 00:20:12,123 --> 00:20:16,393 to apply what I am going to learn you in the pervious chapter. 305 00:20:16,418 --> 00:20:23,088 Because if you didn't become able, if you didn't understand it, it doesn't become automatic to you 306 00:20:23,132 --> 00:20:25,052 I'll add you some things in the next chapter 307 00:20:25,078 --> 00:20:27,238 so you'll have to do the first one and then the next one 308 00:20:27,273 --> 00:20:30,663 and it will always be more elaborate 309 00:20:30,725 --> 00:20:33,825 for a simple reason: because the conscious mind is limited 310 00:20:33,875 --> 00:20:40,265 so you can't handle more than a given number of information in an only moment 311 00:20:40,313 --> 00:20:43,563 that's why it is divided into chapters, and that's why it's made in batches 312 00:20:43,563 --> 00:20:45,383 I won't give you the whole course in one body 313 00:20:45,413 --> 00:20:48,403 because I already know that probably, many of those who will watch it 314 00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:51,170 could watch it all together 315 00:20:51,170 --> 00:20:52,290 and they would learn nothing. 316 00:20:52,313 --> 00:20:58,053 sincerely, if I have to simple give something that is the same thing as writing a book 317 00:20:58,076 --> 00:20:59,596 that you read and then you put it away 318 00:20:59,621 --> 00:21:01,701 I wouldn't even have wasted my time 319 00:21:01,722 --> 00:21:04,012 my goal is creating something different 320 00:21:04,027 --> 00:21:06,257 something that could help you and the others 321 00:21:07,258 --> 00:21:12,588 so in this perspective, I give you this quality, too: you have to learn as soon as possible 322 00:21:12,650 --> 00:21:16,180 to consciously apply everything I will teach you 323 00:21:16,204 --> 00:21:18,974 and most of all to become at the end of the path 324 00:21:19,010 --> 00:21:22,630 and at the end of your experience a mere juggler with words 325 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:25,105 so you'll learn to say little, 326 00:21:25,348 --> 00:21:28,048 remember: two eyes, two ears, one mouth 327 00:21:28,062 --> 00:21:35,102 so you speak once but when you speak you do it in precise and definite and incisive way 328 00:21:36,091 --> 00:21:41,851 the last wualities are the ability... as we go on, 329 00:21:41,856 --> 00:21:44,156 as you discover given techniques 330 00:21:44,177 --> 00:21:46,187 and functioning methods of your mind... 331 00:21:46,212 --> 00:21:51,002 the ability to understand and become aware of the powers soothed in our mind 332 00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:56,190 to realize that actually we can do much more than what we have been taught by far 333 00:21:56,534 --> 00:21:59,034 but why do you do this? 334 00:21:59,088 --> 00:22:03,058 first of all, for our part, because we can 335 00:22:03,060 --> 00:22:06,710 eliminate all the outside conditioning, that is 336 00:22:06,785 --> 00:22:10,115 we don't have to give nobody any more, outisde of us 337 00:22:10,142 --> 00:22:15,372 be it an event, an environment, a person, a boss, a partner, 338 00:22:15,385 --> 00:22:18,495 a mother, a father, we don't have to any of them 339 00:22:18,535 --> 00:22:24,325 the power to act and interfere on our mood 340 00:22:24,363 --> 00:22:27,583 and on our choices and actions 341 00:22:27,608 --> 00:22:30,608 what we don't have today 342 00:22:30,684 --> 00:22:33,814 because normally everyone has 343 00:22:33,896 --> 00:22:39,526 something resonating that somehow releases, that influences them 344 00:22:40,051 --> 00:22:44,721 sometimes, they are so unconscious that we are sure to do make the best choice for us 345 00:22:44,845 --> 00:22:51,035 then we discover we choose to do this because we don't want to feel guilty towards our parents 346 00:22:51,084 --> 00:22:57,364 or we do that because otherwise our girlfriend breaks up with us 347 00:22:57,388 --> 00:23:01,988 so there are a range of filters put during our life 348 00:23:02,055 --> 00:23:06,055 that somehow limit our free will. 349 00:23:06,105 --> 00:23:10,675 here's one of the most important quailities, and it's the first you have to achieve, 350 00:23:10,696 --> 00:23:13,506 is setting us free, understandin us first of all, 351 00:23:13,529 --> 00:23:16,809 so we have to observe ourselves, to know how to observe, to know how listen, 352 00:23:16,879 --> 00:23:24,339 how to understand what our map is and be able to change it according to our actual goals. 353 00:23:24,372 --> 00:23:29,332 after we'll have learned to understand ours, it will be easier 354 00:23:29,362 --> 00:23:34,102 to understand the others' ones, because you won't have to apply the things I taught you in some videos 355 00:23:34,150 --> 00:23:37,360 but simply you'll apply on the others what you did to you 356 00:23:37,363 --> 00:23:42,593 with a confidence level much different from the one you can have after watching a video. 357 00:23:42,626 --> 00:23:47,906 Now, after this video, you could tell someone what you learned 358 00:23:47,944 --> 00:23:53,254 but when you do it, when you experience it and when you solved your problems 359 00:23:53,367 --> 00:23:56,807 you are telling anymore what someone else told you 360 00:23:56,877 --> 00:24:00,597 you are telling your experience where nobody can interfere 361 00:24:00,648 --> 00:24:04,338 nobody can interrupt, nobody can object, 362 00:24:04,397 --> 00:24:05,997 because it's your experience. it's like this. 363 00:24:06,011 --> 00:24:12,381 that's why when often I asked what I do I don't consider myself to be a coach but a storyteller 364 00:24:12,435 --> 00:24:14,875 because I do nothing but telling my experience 365 00:24:14,922 --> 00:24:18,702 so i suggest you to create your own experience with all this first of all, 366 00:24:18,718 --> 00:24:23,508 then, only then, use it on the other goals you'll want. 367 00:24:23,548 --> 00:24:25,838 helping or anything else. 368 00:24:25,875 --> 00:24:28,595 After this, we can end this second chapter 369 00:24:28,607 --> 00:24:31,117 now you know what the communication preconditions are 370 00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:32,570 what the qualities to have are 371 00:24:32,591 --> 00:24:35,081 we can go to the third chapter. 372 00:24:35,116 --> 00:24:37,436 also in this case, in this second opening chapter 373 00:24:37,479 --> 00:24:39,249 there's no specific exercises 374 00:24:39,294 --> 00:24:42,984 but now you are ready to go to the third chapter 375 00:24:42,984 --> 00:24:46,174 where we'll learn how our mind 376 00:24:46,208 --> 00:24:48,848 processes the information 377 00:24:48,899 --> 00:24:51,559 and therefore we'll understand in the next chapter 378 00:24:51,559 --> 00:24:55,939 how since the beginning of time, since the beginning of your life 379 00:24:55,979 --> 00:24:58,699 since the beginning of your conception, your mind, 380 00:24:58,725 --> 00:25:00,625 which was a mouldable sponge, 381 00:25:00,653 --> 00:25:06,553 has started to create those filters that today has become 382 00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:08,880 what we normally call "character" 383 00:25:08,906 --> 00:25:14,226 but we know very well that it is nothing but a range of interpretations 384 00:25:14,269 --> 00:25:18,269 of given experiences influenced by different things. 385 00:25:19,425 --> 00:25:22,305 Now I want to thank you for your attention 386 00:25:22,347 --> 00:25:26,347 during this second chapter and see you at the chapter number three!