Greetings, and welcome to Earthling
Cinema. I am your host, Garyx Wormuloid. This
week’s artifact is Toy Story 3, brought
to you by corporate powerhouse Disney, which,
as you all know, survived its planet of origin
and now owns a 51% share of the known universe.
Toy Story 3 is a story about toys, a race
of living, breathing creatures that were enslaved
by the humans for their own amusement. In
Earth’s heyday, toys such as Woody, Female
Woody, Buzz Aldrin, and all these different
horses were considered second class citizens
in a materialistic society that judged beings
based only on their pragmatic usefulness.
When the film begins, the toys are owned by
Andy, a ruthless overlord who labels them
with his name, effectively smothering their
individual will. He keeps his subjects suspended
in a perpetual state of oppression, ignoring them to heed the
beck and call of his master: the cell phone.
A Samsung Galaxy Note from the looks of it.
Andy must further cement control over his
dominion by going to college, and since his
toys don’t have the test scores to go with
him, he sentences them to the attic. The toys
undergo an existential crisis, uncertain about
the sort of “afterlife” that awaits them
up there. And their anxiety is justified.
Three words: spi-der- webs. That’s why I
always make my wife get the Galaxmas decorations.
Woody, ever the die-hard loyalist, preaches
eternal devotion to Andy.
A classic case of Sher-lockholm Syndrome. But it’s no use.
The other toys escape to a daycare
facility called Sunnyside, a name that makes
sense if you remember that Earth had only
one sun. Sunnyside seems nice at first, but
turns out to be a socialist nightmare. Here
the toys are no longer private property.
Lots-O-Huggin’ Bear takes it upon himself
to rule this socialist utopia with a fuzzy
fist, for as he says, the toys are “without
owners”. But he is a malevolent dictator,
subjecting his citizens to torture at the
hands of ruthless toddlers in order to crush
their spirits. He maintains power with a secret
police force brainwashing, and a monkey who
is clearly on meth. Lotso’s walking stick
doubles as a gavel, a symbol of order, and
his strawberry scent strikes fear into the
batteries of all who cross him.
The toys try to sneak out unnoticed, but when
Lotso confronts them, they figure why not
stage a libertarian coup. It works, and the
big baby throws Lotso in the trash-- the very
place he said toys were destined to go. He
drops his gavel-walking stick, suggesting
his reign of tyranny is over.
But that ending would be too easy, so Lotso
drags everyone else into the trash with him,
and they are hauled off to a volcano. Here
salvation comes in the form of a giant claw,
operated by a trio of racist caricatures.
This is what’s known as “deus ex
machina,” an Ancient Greek term for a machine
that descends from the sky to put Gods on
the stage, and I don’t just mean god of
the stage Neil Patrick Harris. In 21st century
parlance, the expression was used to indicate
a plot device that immediately and conveniently
solves an unsolvable problem. Toy Story 3’s
deus ex machina is both a literal machine
descending from the sky and a plot device
that conveniently saves the day. Despite being
critically and commercially successful, the
boys at Pixar could always find time for obscure
inside jokes.
At the end of the film, Ken and Barbie usher
in a “groovy” utopia, perhaps indicating
that a time will come when the toy race will
no longer be oppressed, and can exist in harmony
with all the Earth’s creatures. In the meantime,
Woody and his friends are content to live
under Bonnie’s benevolent rule. That is,
until she goes to college too and they have
to do the whole thing over again.
For Earthling Cinema, I’m Garyx Wormuloid.
Hey folks, thank you for watching Earthling
Cinema, I'm Mark Schroeder, aka Garyx Wormuloid.
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and if you want a recommendation, Creativity,
Inc. By Ed Catmull. He's the president of
Pixar, and do you ever wonder how Pixar just
cranks out amazing thing after amazing thing
after amazing thing? This book is going to
be the key. So if you want to get into their
heads and figure out how they do it, check
out Creativity, Inc. It's pretty good. Also,
if you liked this episode and want to try
another, we recommend the Mean Girls episode.
Check it out guys, and thanks for watching
Earthling Cinema.
So Earth enthusiasts, it's time to employ
the democratic method again. If you'd like
to see me break down The Matrix next, vote
by clicking on this eyebrow. If you'd like
to see me break down Star Wars, click this
eyebrow. Now I leave you with a musical number.