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All the differences
that biological siblings might have,

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we don't think of racial difference
as being on the top of that list.

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But over the past few years 
there's been quite a bit of interest,

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even a media frenzy,

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over couples and families,
around the world,

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who've had children of a different race.

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I'm really interested in these questions.

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I'm intrigued by the presence 
of these sibling pairs.

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In many cases, they're biological twins 
of a quote unquote "different race."

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I've been collecting photos
and articles about these sibling pairs,

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reading about their lives.

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I've been fascinated about
how the media portrays them

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as feats of humanity, marvels of science.

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All because they have 
a different racial appearance.

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But what's even more fascinating
than these photos themselves,

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has been the public reaction to them.

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Some people view these pictures
as evidence that racism is over.

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Others, on the other hand, 
feel as though racism isn't over,

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but that racial mixture like this
might lead us to the end of racism.

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Now, as a sociologist,
I disagree with both of those ideas.

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But I think that there are two 
important lessons

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that we can learn from these photos.

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Number one is I think
that these sibling pairs

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are the perfect example of how we know 
that race is a social construction.

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So sure, these siblings have differences
in skin color, and even in hair texture.

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But these superficial differences


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don't justify the creation
of racial categories.

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There's no biological basis
for this thing that we call "race."

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But even as I say this as a sociologist,
I know that race and racism matter.

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They matter in our society.

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When I say "racism,"

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what I'm talking about
is the unequal distribution

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of economic, political,
and educational resources.

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But I studied race in family.

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I'm particularly interested
in how race can infiltrate families.

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This is the important part;


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how race can lead to unequal distribution
of love and affection in the same family.

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So how parents treat their children,

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how grandparents treat
their grandchildren,

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how siblings interact with one another,
can all be impacted by racism.

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The question that drives my work
is whether or not it might be true

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that what love looks like in families
can depend on what you look like.

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The basic premise of this talk
really challenges what many of us

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fundamentally believe 
to be true about families.

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We have a type of collective investment
in believing families are our safe haven.

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This is why we have these phrases:
"Home is where the heart is."

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"There's no place like home,"
I guess Dorothy said it best.

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"Home sweet home."

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All of these phrases really resonate

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with the importance
that we give to families.

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What I'm suggesting today,
and challenging you to do

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is think about how families
are much more complex and contradictory

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than we ever give them credit for being.

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As it relates to race in particular,


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families can certainly protect
family members against racism

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but they might also reproduce racism.

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When emotions are thrown into the mix,
we know that home is where the heart is,

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but home might also be where the hurt is.

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For me and my quest, in terms of studying
questions of race, love, and emotions,

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I was inevitably drawn
to an incredible country,

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and that was Brazil.

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What most of you may not know
about Brazil is that the mix

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between African, indigenous,
and Portuguese populations has given rise

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to some of the most racially diverse
families in the world.

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In Brazil, having a baby
is a bit like playing racial roulette,

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because of the uncertainty
about which racial features might emerge

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in the genetic lottery.

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Even though it's true, that racial mixture
in Brazil is very high,

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racism also still exists,

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whiteness is still overvalued,

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and a person's life chances
and life opportunities

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are still shaped by
their physical proximity to whiteness.

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So what does that mean?

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A person's skin color, hair texture,
and facial features can all come

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to shape their life outcomes.

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But again this takes me back
to that question that I began with.

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We know that racial appearance
matters in society.

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But might it also matter
in people's families?

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How might racial appearance impact
how people are treated

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within their own homes
and with their own family relationships?

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Now you might be thinking, "Okay,
this sounds like an exciting project,"

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and Brazil was certainly
the ideal location for this project.

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That was a "no-brainer" for me.

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But there were some barriers
in my research.

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First, I had to learn Portuguese.

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After overcoming that barrier,
I had to deal with my own skepticism

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about whether I would be able
to observe some of the dynamics

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about which I'm talking.

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So in one of my earliest trips to Brazil,
I met a woman by the name of Ana.

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Ana was a local student at the university.

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When I told her that I was interested
in studying race, love, and family,

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she had the following response:

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She said, "Yes, in a family,
people are happy to have children.

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They have the dark one first, but when
the white one comes, everything changes.

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The white one is treated well,
and the dark one is forgotten.

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The black one is punished because
it is said to have "a cara dum escravo."

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"The face of a slave."

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You can imagine that this was
a powerful statement to be made.

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But it also made me feel as though
I wasn't so far in left field

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with this interest that I had in capturing
race, love, and emotion in families.

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In my book, "The Color of Love", I spend
over 16 months working with families,

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interviewing over 100 people
in ten core families in Brazil,

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in order to study these very dynamics,

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in order to study how race, love,
and family function together.

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Sure enough, I found a number of examples
that resonated with what Ana had said

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to me about "the face of a slave."

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So first I met a woman
by the name of Doña Elena.

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Doña Elena, in her interview,
reveals to me

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that when she delivered
a dark-skinned baby,

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and her husband saw the baby
for the first time, his reply was,

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"Where did you get that black baby?
Levá la de volta."

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"Take her back."

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Corina had a similar story.

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She told me about when
she delivered her oldest son.

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Her partner and his mother came to visit.

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They took one look
at the baby's black ears,

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and decided that her partner
would not recognize this child.

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Their assumption was that this child would
eventually grow up to be dark skinned.

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So for that reason they figured
it was not possible for the son

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to have fathered a dark-skinned child.

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Then there's the third example.

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A nine-year-old girl named Hegany.

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She's by far my favorite interviewee
during my time in Brazil.

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She was brilliant, she was boisterous, 
she was effervescent.

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She had this type of honest sincerity,


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this type of vulnerability that many of us
tend to lose as we get older.

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Coincidentally, during the time
I'm interviewing Hegany and her family,

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her mother actually
gives birth to a baby girl.

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This baby girl is unanimously viewed
as perfect: white skin, and straight hair.

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I ask Hegany, "What does it feel like
to be a big sister? What is this like?"

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Her response to me was the following,

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"Eu tenho medo de perder
o carinho dos meus pais."

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"I'm afraid of losing
the love of my parents."

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So I asked Hegany,
"Why do you feel this way?

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Why do you think this might happen?"

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She looks back at me,
and she says, "Because of the baby.

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You saw her, didn't you?
She was born clean, with straight hair.

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I'm afraid they will love her more.

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Her hair won't give them as much trouble.


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Everyone is saying it.

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She'll have everything,
and I'll have nothing."

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Hegany covers her face
with her hands and begins to sob.

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What's so devastating about this interview
is that she's only nine years old.

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Yet even at this age,
she understands how racial features

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can impact the way
that her family interacts with her;

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the level of love and affection
that she might receive in the family.

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Over the course of the weeks and months
that I'm in this family, I observe Hegany,

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and she shows herself
to be resentful of the baby.

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She's constantly, almost
obsessively observing the baby.

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Waiting to see changes
in the baby's skin color,

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waiting for it to become darker,

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for the baby's hair
to become a little bit curlier.

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But something else happens.

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I also see Hegany holding
the baby closely, rocking her tightly,

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00:09:55,361 --> 00:09:57,751
and taking on the role as a big sister.

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What this suggested to me is that honest
portrayal of families was a partial one.

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That there were numbers of ways
that families could both reproduce

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and resist racism.

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00:10:09,034 --> 00:10:12,624
Doña Elena, who I mentioned before,
had a daughter who was dark skinned,

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00:10:12,672 --> 00:10:16,412
but she viewed her dark skin
as being evidence that her daughter

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possessed true black beauty.

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Other families developed
alternative anti-racist personas.

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The best example of this is a father
who insists that I call him,

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"Pantera Negra."

165
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"The Black Panther."

166
00:10:30,308 --> 00:10:33,618
He names himself after
the Black Panthers in the United States,

167
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and has a radical political agenda

168
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that involves raising
the racial consciousness

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00:10:37,811 --> 00:10:40,241
of people in his neighborhood.

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00:10:40,241 --> 00:10:43,595
He introduces me to his wife,
who he calls the "Panterona,"

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00:10:43,595 --> 00:10:44,815
"The Big Panther,"

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who also is committed to the same thing,
to raising racial consciousness.

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Now what does all of this,
what do all of these narratives

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tell us about racism
in the United States and Brazil?

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Any effort to eradicate racism
has to leverage the power

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00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:04,495
and the influence of families
and communities.

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00:11:04,974 --> 00:11:09,684
But not just that, it must also promote
concrete public policies,

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00:11:10,035 --> 00:11:15,145
concrete legislative actions that lead
to structural changes in our society.

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00:11:15,545 --> 00:11:18,885
I love the example of "Pantera Negra"
because he really shows

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00:11:18,930 --> 00:11:21,235
the importance of global linkages.

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00:11:21,235 --> 00:11:23,615
In his case, he's building
on the Black Panthers.

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00:11:23,997 --> 00:11:27,507
Contemporary social movements now,
like "Black Lives Matter,"

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are also exceptionally successful
because they're relevant

184
00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:33,280
both in the local contexts,

185
00:11:33,352 --> 00:11:36,032
but also because they're relevant
in the global context.

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00:11:36,177 --> 00:11:40,317
The best part about their message
is that it's relevant for white folks

187
00:11:40,660 --> 00:11:43,390
but it's also relevant for people of color

188
00:11:43,390 --> 00:11:46,167
who may have internalized
anti-black racism.

189
00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:49,108
Where do we go from here?

190
00:11:49,114 --> 00:11:50,470
Frederick Douglas says,

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00:11:50,540 --> 00:11:54,310
"Power concedes nothing without a demand."

192
00:11:54,310 --> 00:11:58,360
I encourage each of you to use
your families and communities

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00:11:58,402 --> 00:12:03,287
to work together to articulate demands
that can move us towards forging


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00:12:03,287 --> 00:12:09,047
a better future, an anti-racist society
that leads to the eradication of racism

195
00:12:09,047 --> 00:12:13,229
in the United States, Brazil,
and the rest of the world.