1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,449 Stern: So how do you know an idea is good enough 2 00:00:02,449 --> 00:00:03,999 if you never try it on stage? 3 00:00:03,999 --> 00:00:05,990 CK: Well, there is a few different ... 4 00:00:05,990 --> 00:00:09,823 There's some ideas I just know. Some ideas you just go 5 00:00:09,823 --> 00:00:12,117 'cause you've been repeated the rhythm so many times 6 00:00:12,117 --> 00:00:14,074 being on stage and talking and getting laughs 7 00:00:14,074 --> 00:00:14,524 Stern: Right. 8 00:00:14,524 --> 00:00:16,764 CK: I'll have a thought and I'll go Oh that's ju.. oh that's a bit 9 00:00:16,764 --> 00:00:18,725 Stern: 'Cause you know it from all the years of doing it ? 10 00:00:18,725 --> 00:00:19,490 Yeah you just know 11 00:00:19,490 --> 00:00:21,323 and then there's other bit things where I go 12 00:00:21,323 --> 00:00:22,799 I don't think anyone would ever like this. 13 00:00:22,799 --> 00:00:24,854 This actually might be troubling to some crowds. 14 00:00:24,854 --> 00:00:26,869 I wanna try it anyway. 15 00:00:26,869 --> 00:00:30,067 Stern: Give me an example, if you could think of one, 16 00:00:30,067 --> 00:00:33,288 where you said to yourself this could be really good 17 00:00:33,288 --> 00:00:35,450 but troubling to the crowd and then you got up 18 00:00:35,450 --> 00:00:37,038 and it just totally-- 19 00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:38,453 like the crowd was just disturbed by it. 20 00:00:38,453 --> 00:00:40,705 Like, I'm pretty sure my crowd was disturbed 21 00:00:40,705 --> 00:00:41,982 by Richard's bestiality brackets. 22 00:00:41,982 --> 00:00:44,615 [CK laughing] 23 00:00:44,615 --> 00:00:45,549 Stern: Don't you think-- 24 00:00:45,549 --> 00:00:48,076 What are you thinking about now 25 00:00:48,076 --> 00:00:49,620 that can possibly go wrong, or did in the past? 26 00:00:49,620 --> 00:00:52,354 CK: These days, well, I don't know about these days, uh, 27 00:00:52,354 --> 00:00:56,706 I mean I had one bit that never quite made it 28 00:00:56,706 --> 00:00:58,644 'cause I didn't -- and I could've made it work. 29 00:00:58,644 --> 00:01:00,328 Stern: Because you were having a dark thought? 30 00:01:00,328 --> 00:01:01,099 CK: Yeah. 31 00:01:01,105 --> 00:01:01,969 Stern: It was dark? 32 00:01:01,969 --> 00:01:02,240 CK: Yeah. 33 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:03,621 Stern: What was this dark thought? 34 00:01:03,621 --> 00:01:05,734 CK: Well last year, I think I did this on the show actually, 35 00:01:05,734 --> 00:01:07,782 on the series. I think I put it in there. 36 00:01:07,782 --> 00:01:10,187 But it was a thing about, uh, you know 37 00:01:10,187 --> 00:01:11,853 people hate child molesters so much. 38 00:01:11,853 --> 00:01:13,073 They hate them worse than murderers 39 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:13,870 or anybody else. 40 00:01:13,870 --> 00:01:14,772 Stern: Right, right. 41 00:01:14,772 --> 00:01:17,151 CK: So getting caught child molesting is just, 42 00:01:17,151 --> 00:01:17,897 that's the end. 43 00:01:17,897 --> 00:01:18,763 Stern: That's the worse. 44 00:01:18,763 --> 00:01:20,044 CK: It's really the end of your life in every way. 45 00:01:20,044 --> 00:01:20,952 Stern: That's right. 46 00:01:20,952 --> 00:01:22,015 CK: Whatever you had is gone. 47 00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:25,519 Right, so uh, that's why a lot of kids 48 00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:27,218 that get molested get killed. 49 00:01:27,218 --> 00:01:29,541 'Cause whatever got you to the moment 50 00:01:29,541 --> 00:01:31,422 where you molested a kid, 51 00:01:31,422 --> 00:01:32,843 once you hit that moment, 52 00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:34,484 you're like, "I can't let this kid go now, 53 00:01:34,484 --> 00:01:35,856 'cause I'm fucked if this kid 54 00:01:35,856 --> 00:01:36,876 goes home and tells anybody." 55 00:01:36,876 --> 00:01:37,923 So you kill the kid. 56 00:01:37,923 --> 00:01:41,488 So the bit was that if we could hate child 57 00:01:41,488 --> 00:01:42,935 molesting a little less, 58 00:01:42,935 --> 00:01:46,345 we might get some kids back. 59 00:01:46,345 --> 00:01:47,375 [laughing] 60 00:01:47,375 --> 00:01:48,278 Stern: That is a brilliant thought. 61 00:01:48,278 --> 00:01:49,416 CK: If somebody could go, 62 00:01:49,426 --> 00:01:50,300 [laughing] 63 00:01:50,300 --> 00:01:52,320 say to themselves, "Alright I've molested--" 64 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:54,024 You know, someone could call you and go, 65 00:01:54,024 --> 00:01:55,365 "Hey, I molested your kid. 66 00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:56,559 Do you want him back after soccer? 67 00:01:56,559 --> 00:01:57,937 Do you want me to drop him off after his game? 68 00:01:57,946 --> 00:02:00,469 Does he have any allergies I should know about?" 69 00:02:00,469 --> 00:02:02,517 Stern: So, we're hurting children by 70 00:02:02,517 --> 00:02:04,158 hating child molesters so much. 71 00:02:04,158 --> 00:02:05,962 CK: That's right. Well, I wasn't able to 72 00:02:05,962 --> 00:02:07,298 come to that conclusion. 73 00:02:07,298 --> 00:02:09,487 The way I made the bit work, for me, 74 00:02:09,487 --> 00:02:11,973 and made it palpable for some audiences, 75 00:02:11,973 --> 00:02:14,028 like 20%, was to say, 76 00:02:14,028 --> 00:02:17,006 "I don't -- that what I just said is true, 77 00:02:17,006 --> 00:02:19,310 that if we hated child molesters less, 78 00:02:19,310 --> 00:02:20,590 less children would die. 79 00:02:20,590 --> 00:02:23,346 I don't know what to do with that information." 80 00:02:23,346 --> 00:02:24,614 [laughing] 81 00:02:24,614 --> 00:02:25,763 Stern: Like you don't know where to go. 82 00:02:25,763 --> 00:02:27,134 CK: I don't know what to do with it. 83 00:02:27,134 --> 00:02:28,497 Stern: You came to the right place today. 84 00:02:28,497 --> 00:02:30,386 Yeah, this is the place to air those 85 00:02:30,386 --> 00:02:32,192 kinds of thoughts. Wow. 86 00:02:32,192 --> 00:02:33,229 CK: So that was a bit where I thought-- 87 00:02:33,229 --> 00:02:35,305 Stern: Maybe the bit was you 88 00:02:35,305 --> 00:02:37,629 starting a group. I dont, I don't know. 89 00:02:37,629 --> 00:02:38,719 [laughing] 90 00:02:38,719 --> 00:02:39,710 CK: When I hit that moment 91 00:02:39,710 --> 00:02:40,969 when I had that thought, 92 00:02:40,969 --> 00:02:42,813 I thought, "I'm fucked, 93 00:02:42,813 --> 00:02:43,988 because I know that's funny 94 00:02:43,988 --> 00:02:45,635 and people are gonna get upset." 95 00:02:45,635 --> 00:02:46,476 But I had to do it. 96 00:02:46,476 --> 00:02:47,814 Stern: But yeah, you have to do that 97 00:02:47,814 --> 00:02:48,990 because it's so great. 98 00:02:48,990 --> 00:02:51,364 CK: It's a smart, fun thing to say, 99 00:02:51,364 --> 00:02:53,314 and I know I'm gonna upset some people 100 00:02:53,314 --> 00:02:54,873 but I'm gonna go ahead and do it. 101 00:02:54,873 --> 00:02:56,169 Stern: To me, one of the most 102 00:02:56,169 --> 00:02:57,372 brilliant hours of stand up 103 00:02:57,372 --> 00:02:58,439 was when I heard Chris Rock 104 00:02:58,439 --> 00:03:00,984 do that -- I forget what the special was called 105 00:03:00,984 --> 00:03:03,081 on HBO but it was all about, you know, 106 00:03:03,081 --> 00:03:06,393 race issues and, um, black people who, 107 00:03:06,393 --> 00:03:08,190 uh books were like kryptonite -- 108 00:03:08,190 --> 00:03:10,995 I mean it was the darkest fucking 109 00:03:10,995 --> 00:03:13,981 most like honest appraisal of everything. 110 00:03:13,981 --> 00:03:16,057 But I mean, I bet you there was a time 111 00:03:16,057 --> 00:03:17,070 where he went, "Man, I even don't know 112 00:03:17,070 --> 00:03:18,170 if I can do this stuff." 113 00:03:18,136 --> 00:03:18,695 CK: Well the thing is, 114 00:03:18,695 --> 00:03:19,938 you have to with all comedy, 115 00:03:19,938 --> 00:03:21,255 you have to be willing to fail 116 00:03:21,255 --> 00:03:22,290 to get something to work. 117 00:03:22,290 --> 00:03:24,323 And a lot of bits that I've done 118 00:03:24,323 --> 00:03:25,826 have started off bombing, 119 00:03:25,826 --> 00:03:26,946 like when I started doing that bit, 120 00:03:26,967 --> 00:03:28,479 people'd just go "Oh." 121 00:03:28,479 --> 00:03:31,807 Not even like, uh -- just the bottom 122 00:03:31,807 --> 00:03:32,605 would drop out of the room, 123 00:03:32,605 --> 00:03:33,619 it's a bad feeling. 124 00:03:33,619 --> 00:03:35,058 Stern: Afraid to laugh. 125 00:03:35,058 --> 00:03:38,211 CK: Yes, just, "Oh no" and like murmuring, "Oh my goodness." 126 00:03:38,211 --> 00:03:40,752 Woman: And then they don't know what to think of the rest of your material. 127 00:03:40,752 --> 00:03:42,815 CK: No, and then you lose credibility with the audience, 128 00:03:42,815 --> 00:03:43,881 and then you get a film of sweat, 129 00:03:43,881 --> 00:03:47,700 and you go, "Here I am, and I just said this shit, and I'm gonna try to save it." 130 00:03:47,700 --> 00:03:50,305 But if you repeat that a few times, if you're 131 00:03:50,305 --> 00:03:53,327 willing to do that, the bit gets stronger and stronger, and you find ways 132 00:03:53,327 --> 00:03:55,017 to make it work for people. 133 00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:57,462 Stern: Yeah, man, oh my God. That's just so great.