Stern: So how do you know an idea is good enough
if you never try it on stage?
CK: Well, there is a few different ...
There's some ideas I just know. Some ideas you just go
'cause you've been repeated the rhythm so many times
being on stage and talking and getting laughs
Stern: Right.
CK: I'll have a thought and I'll go Oh that's ju.. oh that's a bit
Stern: 'Cause you know it from all the years of doing it ?
Yeah you just know
and then there's other bit things where I go
I don't think anyone would ever like this.
This actually might be troubling to some crowds.
I wanna try it anyway.
Stern: Give me an example, if you could think of one,
where you said to yourself this could be really good
but troubling to the crowd and then you got up
and it just totally--
like the crowd was just disturbed by it.
Like, I'm pretty sure my crowd was disturbed
by Richard's bestiality brackets.
[CK laughing]
Stern: Don't you think--
What are you thinking about now
that can possibly go wrong, or did in the past?
CK: These days, well, I don't know about these days, uh,
I mean I had one bit that never quite made it
'cause I didn't -- and I could've made it work.
Stern: Because you were having a dark thought?
CK: Yeah.
Stern: It was dark?
CK: Yeah.
Stern: What was this dark thought?
CK: Well last year, I think I did this on the show actually,
on the series. I think I put it in there.
But it was a thing about, uh, you know
people hate child molesters so much.
They hate them worse than murderers
or anybody else.
Stern: Right, right.
CK: So getting caught child molesting is just,
that's the end.
Stern: That's the worse.
CK: It's really the end of your life in every way.
Stern: That's right.
CK: Whatever you had is gone.
Right, so uh, that's why a lot of kids
that get molested get killed.
'Cause whatever got you to the moment
where you molested a kid,
once you hit that moment,
you're like, "I can't let this kid go now,
'cause I'm fucked if this kid
goes home and tells anybody."
So you kill the kid.
So the bit was that if we could hate child
molesting a little less,
we might get some kids back.
[laughing]
Stern: That is a brilliant thought.
CK: If somebody could go,
[laughing]
say to themselves, "Alright I've molested--"
You know, someone could call you and go,
"Hey, I molested your kid.
Do you want him back after soccer?
Do you want me to drop him off after his game?
Does he have any allergies I should know about?"
Stern: So, we're hurting children by
hating child molesters so much.
CK: That's right. Well, I wasn't able to
come to that conclusion.
The way I made the bit work, for me,
and made it palpable for some audiences,
like 20%, was to say,
"I don't -- that what I just said is true,
that if we hated child molesters less,
less children would die.
I don't know what to do with that information."
[laughing]
Stern: Like you don't know where to go.
CK: I don't know what to do with it.
Stern: You came to the right place today.
Yeah, this is the place to air those
kinds of thoughts. Wow.
CK: So that was a bit where I thought--
Stern: Maybe the bit was you
starting a group. I dont, I don't know.
[laughing]
CK: When I hit that moment
when I had that thought,
I thought, "I'm fucked,
because I know that's funny
and people are gonna get upset."
But I had to do it.
Stern: But yeah, you have to do that
because it's so great.
CK: It's a smart, fun thing to say,
and I know I'm gonna upset some people
but I'm gonna go ahead and do it.
Stern: To me, one of the most
brilliant hours of stand up
was when I heard Chris Rock
do that -- I forget what the special was called
on HBO but it was all about, you know,
race issues and, um, black people who,
uh books were like kryptonite --
I mean it was the darkest fucking
most like honest appraisal of everything.
But I mean, I bet you there was a time
where he went, "Man, I even don't know
if I can do this stuff."
CK: Well the thing is,
you have to with all comedy,
you have to be willing to fail
to get something to work.
And a lot of bits that I've done
have started off bombing,
like when I started doing that bit,
people'd just go "Oh."
Not even like, uh -- just the bottom
would drop out of the room,
it's a bad feeling.
Stern: Afraid to laugh.
CK: Yes, just, "Oh no" and like murmuring, "Oh my goodness."
Woman: And then they don't know what to think of the rest of your material.
CK: No, and then you lose credibility with the audience,
and then you get a film of sweat,
and you go, "Here I am, and I just said this shit, and I'm gonna try to save it."
But if you repeat that a few times, if you're
willing to do that, the bit gets stronger and stronger, and you find ways
to make it work for people.
Stern: Yeah, man, oh my God. That's just so great.