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Imagine being a fossil:

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touring the world's great museums,

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inspiring awe in onlookers of all ages,

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posing for hordes of fawning photographers.

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Sound like something you'd like?

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Well, good luck!

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At least 99.9% of creatures that have ever lived

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aren't preserved in the fossil record.

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But forget about them,

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everyone else will,

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and listen up!

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If you want your corpse

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in the exclusive 0.01% Club,

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the Hall of Preserved Fossil Fame,

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it will not be easy.

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You better work!

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Step one: die.

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It's a cold, hard fact of fossilization.

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Everything paleontologists find

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was once alive and, at some point, died.

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We'll skip the details

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and assume you had a long, fulfilling life

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so we can get to what is really important --

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how you die.

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There are many ways to become a fossil,

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so let's highlight your top death options.

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You could get yourself trapped in tree sap,

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which, when hardens, turns into amber

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and can survive intact for millions of years.

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But unless you find a really big tree to sit under,

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amber preservation will likely remain

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the domain of insects and other very small animals.

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Generally, the right place to be

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if you want to end up a fossil

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is wherever sediment is actively being deposited,

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like a lake or an ocean floor.

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A mountaintop or prairie?

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Not good!

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You need to get buried,

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the faster the better,

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because the longer you hang around on the surface,

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the more likely you'll get eaten,

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scavenged,

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or otherwise destroyed

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before ever having a chance to get preserved.

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If you can get buried someplace

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with little to no oxygen,

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like a bog or a deep lake bottom,

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even better.

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That lack of oxygen will slow down your decay

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and give you more time to fossilize.

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So, let's say you're lucky enough to die

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and get buried in a shallow sea

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under muddy, sandy sediments.

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What's your next move?

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One option is a process

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called permineralization.

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While all your soft parts decay away,

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your bones get saturated with mineral-rich waters.

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Bit by bit, microscopic crystals precipitate

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out of these waters

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to fill in the empty spaces and pores in your bones.

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Otherwise, you'd better hope

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the sediments around you harden

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while your bones decay away

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and another sediment or mineral fills in the spaces

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your bones leave behind,

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creating a perfect cast of your skeleton.

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Over time, the sediments around your fossil

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will lithify or turn into rock.

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But you're not in the clear yet!

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Many things could happen

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to those sedimentary rocks

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that might destroy your chances

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of getting discovered.

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They could get uplifted into a mountain range

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and eroded away

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or carried along in an oceanic plate

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and subducted back into the Earth's mantle,

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melting your fossil into hot mush.

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Fingers crossed your rock surroundings

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will get gently lifted up

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by plate tectonics,

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sea levels will change,

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and you'll end up under dry land

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close to the surface,

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but not so close

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that erosion from wind and rain wipes you away

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before someone can come find you.

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The last step in this long process,

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an intrepid paleontologist has to come find you.

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Maybe she's a research scientist

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scouting for fossils your age and type

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or just an amateur collector

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hoping for a fortuitous find.

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She whacks away at layers of rock above you

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or spots your fossil exposed

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in a creek bank after a flood.

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And there you are,

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a magnificent scientific discovery,

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millions of years in the making!

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She and her colleagues gently extract you

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from the surrounding sediment,

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measure and photograph

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all the bits and pieces they find,

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and begin the complex task of reconstructing

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how and when you lived

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based on the evidence they find in your bones.

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Paleontologists will be some of your biggest fans

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along with all those admiring crowds at the museum.

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You made it!

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You spent years underground in obscurity,

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shedding blood,

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sweat,

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tears,

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and your internal organs.

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You worked yourself to the bone

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until your bones disintegrated

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and were replaced by minerals and sediments.

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But it was all worth it

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because you're a famous fossil!

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Now, you better hold that pose!