[musical interlude]

[door opens]

Hey, Pewds?

[clicks mouse] What?

I wrote a book!

I think you're gonna love it.

It was inspired by you.

This has already been written.

[feigns surprise] What?!

Maybe it'll be different.

This is a graphic gay porno.

Are you telling me the other <i>Twilight</i> is the same?

It's pretty much the same thing.

I'm sorry.

Shit!

What's with all the duck references though?

[creepy music starts up] What do you mean, "duck references?"

I'm a duck. Quack, quack. Stupid Pewds doesn't suspect a thing."

Where did you get that idea?

[in menacing tone] Why are you sweating?

What do you mean, sweating?

Haters gonna hate; ducks gonna duck. Quack.

Oh shit!

[crash] [punch] [PewDiePie groans in pain]

What's going on here?

[paper rustling]

What is this?!

It's so beautiful!

Did you write this?

Uhhh...yeah?

[soft rock music starts playing] <i>It's been the longest winter without you...</i>

<i>I didn't know where to turn to</i>

<i>See somehow I can't forget you</i>

<i>after all that we've been-</i>

[phonograph screeches to a halt]

I know a duck when I see one, bitch.

[chainsaw growls]

I feel like I'm mother fuckin' stuck...in this duck.

It makes me want to quack, like, "What the fuck is that?!"