1
00:00:00,755 --> 00:00:06,089
[musical interlude]

2
00:00:06,089 --> 00:00:07,200
[door opens]

3
00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:07,717
Hey, Pewds?

4
00:00:12,672 --> 00:00:14,777
[clicks mouse] What?

5
00:00:14,777 --> 00:00:16,040
I wrote a book!

6
00:00:16,162 --> 00:00:17,646
I think you're gonna love it.

7
00:00:17,922 --> 00:00:19,927
It was inspired by you.

8
00:00:24,374 --> 00:00:26,009
This has already been written.

9
00:00:26,009 --> 00:00:26,780
[feigns surprise] What?!

10
00:00:26,780 --> 00:00:28,333
Maybe it'll be different.

11
00:00:33,380 --> 00:00:34,797
This is a graphic gay porno.

12
00:00:35,950 --> 00:00:37,990
Are you telling me the other <i>Twilight</i> is the same?

13
00:00:37,990 --> 00:00:40,134
It's pretty much the same thing.

14
00:00:40,980 --> 00:00:41,455
I'm sorry.

15
00:00:41,455 --> 00:00:42,278
Shit!

16
00:00:42,986 --> 00:00:44,827
What's with all the duck references though?

17
00:00:45,643 --> 00:00:47,075
[creepy music starts up] What do you mean, "duck references?"

18
00:00:48,075 --> 00:00:52,182
I'm a duck. Quack, quack. Stupid Pewds doesn't suspect a thing."

19
00:00:53,074 --> 00:00:54,169
Where did you get that idea?

20
00:00:55,322 --> 00:00:56,328
[in menacing tone] Why are you sweating?

21
00:00:56,328 --> 00:00:57,815
What do you mean, sweating?

22
00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:02,702
Haters gonna hate; ducks gonna duck. Quack.

23
00:01:03,686 --> 00:01:04,300
Oh shit!

24
00:01:04,300 --> 00:01:09,125
[crash] [punch] [PewDiePie groans in pain]

25
00:01:09,125 --> 00:01:10,353
What's going on here?

26
00:01:12,277 --> 00:01:13,599
[paper rustling]

27
00:01:13,599 --> 00:01:14,686
What is this?!

28
00:01:15,133 --> 00:01:17,526
It's so beautiful!

29
00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:20,022
Did you write this?

30
00:01:20,022 --> 00:01:21,768
Uhhh...yeah?

31
00:01:21,768 --> 00:01:28,426
[soft rock music starts playing] <i>It's been the longest winter without you...</i>

32
00:01:28,426 --> 00:01:34,373
<i>I didn't know where to turn to</i>

33
00:01:34,373 --> 00:01:39,989
<i>See somehow I can't forget you</i>

34
00:01:39,989 --> 00:01:42,325
<i>after all that we've been-</i>

35
00:01:42,325 --> 00:01:43,458
[phonograph screeches to a halt]

36
00:01:46,334 --> 00:01:48,024
I know a duck when I see one, bitch.

37
00:01:48,024 --> 00:01:49,781
[chainsaw growls]

38
00:01:53,228 --> 00:01:57,289
I feel like I'm mother fuckin' stuck...in this duck.

39
00:01:57,289 --> 00:02:01,289
It makes me want to quack, like, "What the fuck is that?!"