WEBVTT

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Talking about empowerment is odd,

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because when we talk about empowerment,

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what affects us most are the stories.

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So I want to begin with an everyday story.

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What is it really like to be a young woman in India?

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Now, I've spent the last 27 years of my life

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in India, lived in three small towns,

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two major cities,

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and I've had several experiences.

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When I was seven,

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a private tutor who used to come home

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to teach me mathematics molested me.

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He would put his hand up my skirt.

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He put his hand up my skirt and told me

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he knew how to make me feel good.

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At 17, a boy from my high school

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circulated an email

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detailing all the sexually aggressive things

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he could do to me

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because I didn't pay attention to him.

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At 19, I helped a friend

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whose parents had forcefully
married her to an older man

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escape an abusive marriage.

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At 21, when my friend and I were walking

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down the road one afternoon,

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a man pulled down his pants

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and masturbated in front of us.

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We called people for help, and nobody came.

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At 25, when I was walking home one evening,

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two men on a motorcycle attacked me.

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I spent two nights in the hospital

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recovering from trauma and injuries.

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So throughout my life, I've seen women —

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family, friends, colleagues —

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live through these experiences,

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and they seldom talk about it.

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So in simple words, life in India is not easy.

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But today I'm not going to talk to you about this fear.

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I'm going to talk to you about an interesting path

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of learning that this fear took me on.

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So, what happened one night in December 2012

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changed my life.

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So a young girl, a 23-year-old student,

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boarded a bus in Delhi with her male friend.

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There were six men on the bus, young men

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who you might encounter every day in India,

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and the chilling account of what followed

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was played over and over again

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in the Indian and international media.

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This girl was raped repeatedly,

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forcefully penetrated with a blunt rod,

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beaten, bitten, and left to die.

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Her friend was gagged, attacked,

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and knocked unconscious.

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She died on the 29th of December.

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And at a time when most of us here

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were preparing to welcome the new year,

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India plunged into darkness.

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For the first time in our history,

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men and women in Indian cities

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woke up to the horrific truth

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about the true state of women in the country.

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Now, like many other young women,

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I was absolutely terrified.

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I couldn't believe that something like this

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could happen in a national capital.

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I was angry and I was frustrated,

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but most of all, I felt utterly, completely helpless.

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But really, what do you do, right?

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Some write blogs, some ignore it,

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some join protests.

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I did all of it. In fact, that was what everyone was doing

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two years ago.

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So the media was filled with stories about

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all the horrific deeds

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that Indian men are capable of.

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They were compared to animals,

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sexually repressed beasts.

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In fact, so alien and unthinkable was this event

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in an Indian mind

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that the response from the Indian media,

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public and politicians proved one point:

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No one knew what to do.

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And no one wanted to be responsible for it.

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In fact, these were a few insensitive comments

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which were made in the media

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by prominent people

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in response to sexual violence
against women in general.

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So the first one is made by a member of parliament,

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the second one is made by a spiritual leader,

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and the third one was actually
the defendants' lawyer

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when the girl was fighting for her life

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and she passed away.

NOTE Paragraph

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Now, as a woman watching this day after day,

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I was tired.

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So as a writer and gender activist,

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I have written extensively on women,

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but this time, I realized it was different,

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because a part of me realized

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I was a part of that young woman too,

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and I decided I wanted to change this.

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So I did something spontaneous, hasty.

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I logged on to a citizen journalism platform

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called iReport,

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and I recorded a video talking about

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what the scene was like in Bangalore.

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I talked about how I felt,

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I talked about the ground realities,

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and I talked about the frustrations of living in India.

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In a few hours, the blog was shared widely,

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and comments and thoughts poured in

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from across the world.

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In that moment, a few things occurred to me.

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One, technology was always at hand

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for many young women like me.

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Two, like me, most young women

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hardly use it to express their views.

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Three, I realized for the first time

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that my voice mattered.

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So in the months that followed,

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I covered a trail of events in Bangalore

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which had no space in the mainstream news.

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In Cubbon Park, which is a big park in Bangalore,

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I gathered with over 100 others

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when groups of young men came forward

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to wear skirts to prove that clothing

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does not invite rape.

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When I reported about these events,

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I felt I had charge, I felt like I had a channel

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to release all the emotions I had inside me.

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I attended the town hall march

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when students held up signs saying

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"Kill them, hang them."

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"You wouldn't do this to your mothers or sisters."

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I went to a candlelight vigil

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where citizens gathered together

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to talk about the issue of sexual violence openly,

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and I recorded a lot of blogs

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in response to how worrying the situation was

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in India at that point.

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["I am born with sisters and cousin who now live in cities and abroad but they never talk to me or complain about their daily difficulties like you say"]

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Now, the reactions confused me.

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While supportive comments poured
in from across the world,

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as did vicious ones.

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So some called me a hypocrite.

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Some called me a victim, a rape apologist.

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Some even said I had a political motive.

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But this one comment kind of describes

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what we are discussing here today.

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But I was soon to learn that this was not all.

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As empowered as I felt

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with the new liberty that this

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citizen journalism channel gave me,

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I found myself in an unfamiliar situation.

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So sometime last August, I logged onto Facebook

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and I was looking through my news feed,

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and I noticed there was a link

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that was being shared by my friends.

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I clicked on the link; it led me back

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to a report uploaded by an American girl

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called Michaela Cross.

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The report was titled,

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"India: The story you never wanted to hear."

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And in this report, she recounted her firsthand

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account of facing sexual harassment in India.

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She wrote, "There is no way to prepare for the eyes,

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the eyes that every day stared

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with such entitlement at my body,

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with no change of expression

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whether I met their gaze or not.

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Walking to the fruit seller's or the tailor's,

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I got stares so sharp

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that they sliced away bits of me piece by piece."

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She called India a traveler's
heaven and a woman's hell.

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She said she was stalked, groped,

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and masturbated at.

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Now, late that evening, the report went viral.

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It was on news channels across the world.

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Everyone was discussing it.

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It had over a million views,

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a thousand comments and shares,

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and I found myself witnessing

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a very similar thing.

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The media was caught in this vicious cycle

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of opinion and outburst

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and no outcome whatsoever.

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So that night, as I sat wondering

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how I should respond,

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I found myself filled with doubt.

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You see, as a writer, I approached this issue

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as an observer,

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as an Indian, I felt embarrassment and disbelief,

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and as an activist, I looked
at it as a defender of rights,

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but as a citizen journalist,

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I suddenly felt very vulnerable.

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I mean, here she was, a young woman

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who was using a channel to talk about

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her experience just as I was,

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and yet I felt unsettled.

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You see, no one ever tells you

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that true empowerment comes from giving yourself

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the permission to think and act.

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Empowerment is often made to sound as if

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it's an ideal, it's a wonderful outcome.

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When we talk about empowerment, we often

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talk about giving people access to materials,

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giving them access to tools.

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But the thing is, empowerment is an emotion.

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It's a feeling.

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The first step to empowerment

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is to give yourself the authority,

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the key to independent will,

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and for women everywhere,

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no matter who we are or where we come from,

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that is the most difficult step.

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We fear the sound of our own voice,

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for it means admission, but it is this that gives us

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the power to change our environment.

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Now in this situation where I was faced

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with so many different kinds of realities,

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I was unsure how to judge,

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because I didn't know what it would mean for me.

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I feared to judge because I
didn't know what it would be

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if I didn't support the same view as this girl.

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I didn't know what it would mean for me

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if I was challenging someone else's truth.

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But yet, it was simple.

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I had to make a decision:

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Should I speak up or should I stay quiet?

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So after a lot of thought,

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I recorded a video blog in response,

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and I told Michaela, well,

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there are different sides to India,

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and I also tried to explain

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that things would be okay

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and I expressed my regret for what she had faced.

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And a few days later, I was invited to talk

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on air with her,

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and for the first time, I reached out to this girl

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who I had never met, who was so far away,

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but yet I felt so close to.

NOTE Paragraph

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Since this report came to light,

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more young people than ever

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were discussing sexual harassment on the campus,

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and the university that Michaela belonged to

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gave her the assistance she needed.

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The university even took measures

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to train its students to equip them

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with the skills that they need

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to confront challenges such as harassment,

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and for the first the time, I felt I wasn't alone.

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You see, if there's anything that I've learned

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as an active citizen journalist

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over the past few years,

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it is our dire lack as a society to actively find

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avenues where our voices can be heard.

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We don't realize that when we are standing up,

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we are not just standing up as individuals,

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we are standing up for our communities,

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our friends, our peers.

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Most of us say that women are denied their rights,

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but the truth is, oftentimes,

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women deny themselves these rights.

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In a recent survey in India,

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95 percent of the women who work in I.T.,

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aviation, hospitality and call centers,

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said they didn't feel safe returning home alone

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after work in the late hours or in the evening.

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In Bangalore, where I come from,

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this number is 85 percent.

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In rural areas in India,

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if anything is to go by the recent

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gang rapes in Badaun and acid attacks in Odisha

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and Aligarh are supposed to go by,

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we need to act really soon.

NOTE Paragraph

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Don't get me wrong,

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the challenges that women will face

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in telling their stories is real,

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but we need to start pursuing

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and trying to identify mediums

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to participate in our system

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and not just pursue the media blindly.

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Today, more women than ever

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are standing up and questioning

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the government in India,

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and this is a result of that courage.

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There is a sixfold increase in women

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reporting harassment,

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and the government passed

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the Criminal Law (Amendment) Act in 2013

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to protect women against sexual assault.

NOTE Paragraph

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As I end this talk,

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I just want to say

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that I know a lot of us in this room have our secrets,

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but let us speak up.

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Let us fight the shame and talk about it.

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It could be a platform, a community,

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your loved one, whoever or whatever you choose,

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but let us speak up.

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The truth is, the end to this problem

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begins with us.

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Thank you.

NOTE Paragraph

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(Applause)