1
00:00:20,987 --> 00:00:24,760
Two years ago, I studied Latin


2
00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:29,517
and realized that I've been
diagnosed with cancer.

3
00:00:29,517 --> 00:00:32,265
At least that it felt like
I had to study Latin

4
00:00:32,265 --> 00:00:36,788
to understand what the doctor
who just examined me was saying.

5
00:00:36,788 --> 00:00:39,010
He says, "You have testis cancer."

6
00:00:39,010 --> 00:00:41,770
I say, "I have to test what, to get what?"
(Laughter)

7
00:00:41,770 --> 00:00:44,767
"No no no, no you have testis cancer."

8
00:00:45,247 --> 00:00:49,766
Testicular cancer,
testis is in Latin, means testicular.

9
00:00:49,766 --> 00:00:54,016
I don't know if it were
because of my obvious Latin look.

10
00:00:54,016 --> 00:00:56,512
(Laughter)

11
00:00:56,512 --> 00:01:01,537
He felt the need to tell me in Latin
what the problem was.

12
00:01:01,537 --> 00:01:05,959
And — actually as a comedian
for the last 16 years,

13
00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:11,062
I found it quite ironic that he told me
I might die in a language that's dead.

14
00:01:11,062 --> 00:01:13,540
(Laughter)

15
00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:18,913
(Applause)

16
00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:24,529
But this little Latin session 
actually became quite symbolic to me,

17
00:01:24,749 --> 00:01:27,981
when I experienced the following
one and a half years,

18
00:01:27,981 --> 00:01:32,237
as I realized how hard it is for people

19
00:01:32,237 --> 00:01:35,963
to talk to people 
who have a serious illness,

20
00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:40,770
and not just for you and me
but also for doctors.

21
00:01:40,770 --> 00:01:45,264
And it really became clear to me
when the cancer spread to my lung

22
00:01:45,264 --> 00:01:47,761
that even my wife and mother 
became awkward

23
00:01:47,761 --> 00:01:50,258
about the communication with me.

24
00:01:50,258 --> 00:01:52,757
My wife withdrew and held back

25
00:01:52,757 --> 00:01:56,502
and she didn't want to ask me
too many questions of how I felt,

26
00:01:56,502 --> 00:01:59,369
and she was afraid 
to put too much stress on me,

27
00:01:59,369 --> 00:02:05,000
and my mom, she was
a seriously concerned mom,

28
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,257
no one wants to see her child sick.

29
00:02:07,257 --> 00:02:11,740
So she was too uncomfortable
about calling me,

30
00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:14,303
and —

31
00:02:27,508 --> 00:02:33,258
so we decided that I should just call her
when I had the energy to do it.

32
00:02:34,238 --> 00:02:35,536
But if there's someone

33
00:02:35,536 --> 00:02:37,264
you really want to be in charge with
when you're sick

34
00:02:37,264 --> 00:02:39,744
is your mom and you wife.

35
00:02:39,744 --> 00:02:41,780
You want a thousand questions a day,

36
00:02:41,780 --> 00:02:46,260
and you want a thousand missed calls
from your mother a day.

37
00:02:46,260 --> 00:02:48,740
And I heard from a lot of my friends
they say, 


38
00:02:48,740 --> 00:02:50,508

"Yeah, we didn't want to contact you,

39
00:02:50,508 --> 00:02:53,241
we're afraid we're going to cry
or you're going to cry,


40
00:02:53,241 --> 00:02:59,260
we weren't certain that what we say
will be profound enough."

41
00:02:59,260 --> 00:03:03,000
And my advice to anyone who knows
anyone who's seriously ill,

42
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:07,762
there's nothing you can say or do
that's wrong,

43
00:03:07,762 --> 00:03:11,019
the only wrong you can do
it's doing nothing at all.

44
00:03:11,019 --> 00:03:14,817
And just a small "I'm thinking of you"
is enough,

45
00:03:15,817 --> 00:03:18,615
it doesn't have to be long [unclear].

46
00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:22,414
And — my mom doesn't have
a mobile or a computer,

47
00:03:22,414 --> 00:03:27,041
so she couldn't text me or send an email,

48
00:03:27,041 --> 00:03:29,540
but you know we all have - 
except for my mom,


49
00:03:29,540 --> 00:03:33,510
(Laughter)
this little device here,

50
00:03:33,510 --> 00:03:36,029
and if you know someone who's ill


51
00:03:36,029 --> 00:03:39,750
you know, this is accessible 24/7.

52
00:03:39,750 --> 00:03:42,784
Send them a text, an email,
a facebook, a twitter

53
00:03:42,784 --> 00:03:47,095
and let them know that you are thinking
of them and their loved ones.

54
00:03:48,484 --> 00:03:51,966
And you know I remember when I was -

55
00:03:52,765 --> 00:03:57,271
it wasn't always I got hundreds
of messages from friends and family

56
00:03:57,271 --> 00:03:59,772
and it wasn't always
I had the strength to read them,

57
00:03:59,772 --> 00:04:03,764
but on good days
you know when I turn on my phone,

58
00:04:03,764 --> 00:04:06,784
hearing these messages coming in 
and seeing them

59
00:04:06,784 --> 00:04:09,769
you know it really kept me going
and made my day.

60
00:04:12,250 --> 00:04:15,371
And especially the ones
that made me laugh.

61
00:04:17,261 --> 00:04:21,504
There was few moments where I laughed
I forgot that I was ill.

62
00:04:21,504 --> 00:04:25,273
I'll give you an example:
I had long hair

63
00:04:25,273 --> 00:04:27,261
I had to go through chemotherapy
and lost my hair,

64
00:04:27,261 --> 00:04:31,106
I had long hair for 20 years,
it was my brand, it was my image,

65
00:04:31,514 --> 00:04:36,520
and I got a text from a stand-up comedian
one of my colleagues

66
00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:39,050
with a picture of him
wearing a long hear wig,

67
00:04:39,050 --> 00:04:40,482
(Laughter)

68
00:04:40,482 --> 00:04:43,274
saying, "Don't worry my friend
I'll do your gigs for you,"

69
00:04:43,274 --> 00:04:45,027
(Laughter)

70
00:04:45,027 --> 00:04:48,277
"And of course keep the money."
(Laughter)

71
00:04:48,277 --> 00:04:52,053
I worked at a radio station at the moment
and my boss came round

72
00:04:52,053 --> 00:04:54,253
with 6 chocolate balls.

73
00:04:54,253 --> 00:04:57,760
I had my testicles removed and —
(Laughter)

74
00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:00,503
he thought I need a replacement
(Laughter)

75
00:05:00,503 --> 00:05:03,748
and they're all different sizes
as he didn't know my exact size.

76
00:05:03,748 --> 00:05:06,260
(Laughter)

77
00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:11,261
When I was declared cancer-free

78
00:05:11,261 --> 00:05:13,802
which is 1 year and 8 days ago,

79
00:05:13,802 --> 00:05:15,482
I posted on...
(Applause)

80
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:20,484
Thank you.
(Applause)

81
00:05:20,484 --> 00:05:23,783
(Applause)

82
00:05:23,783 --> 00:05:28,225
And I posted it on my Facebook
enthusiastically,

83
00:05:28,225 --> 00:05:31,507
"Yeah I beat cancer, it's so great,"

84
00:05:31,507 --> 00:05:36,241
and I got 4000 likes,
4000 people like my update!

85
00:05:36,241 --> 00:05:39,862
And I showed it to my nurse,
"Look, 4000 people like my update,"

86
00:05:39,862 --> 00:05:43,522
She just looked and said,
"Well, you have 50,000 fans!"

87
00:05:43,522 --> 00:05:47,520
(Laughter)

88
00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:51,930
So does that mean that 46,000
was like 'Oh, fuck'?. (Laughter)

89
00:05:54,489 --> 00:05:57,248
And I texted all my friends and family

90
00:05:57,248 --> 00:05:58,775
150 to be exact,

91
00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:02,030
and I said,
"Yeah I'm back, I'm alive, I beat cancer."

92
00:06:02,030 --> 00:06:04,037
and 149 wrote back,

93
00:06:04,037 --> 00:06:07,540
"That's amazing, that's amazing
we love you, we love life."

94
00:06:07,540 --> 00:06:11,526
Except for one guy, my friend Uve,
from my university,

95
00:06:12,517 --> 00:06:16,375
he wrote, "Oh dear Geo, 
this is so great, good news.

96
00:06:17,531 --> 00:06:22,005
I myself have been ill lately,
I've had a little bit of fever.

97
00:06:22,502 --> 00:06:26,781
(Laughter)

98
00:06:26,781 --> 00:06:29,264
And I've also been dizzy,
but I'm all right now!

99
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:30,529
(Laughter)


100
00:06:30,529 --> 00:06:32,760
And I just booked tickets to Mexico,
It's going to be great."

101
00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:35,534
I had to go back,
I wrote to Uve,

102
00:06:35,534 --> 00:06:37,111
and he was,
"Yeah I've been struggling,

103
00:06:37,121 --> 00:06:39,533
fighting against cancer
for the last 1 and half years,

104
00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:44,592
I beat it, I might be mentally, 
physically and financially broke,

105
00:06:44,592 --> 00:06:46,778
but who cares I'm alive!"

106
00:06:46,778 --> 00:06:49,781
"I've been a little bit dizzy."
(Laughter)

107
00:06:49,781 --> 00:06:52,389
But it just shows, I mean,
these four examples

108
00:06:52,399 --> 00:06:54,097
show how extreme it can be

109
00:06:54,097 --> 00:06:56,255
and still, you know they all meant well,

110
00:06:56,255 --> 00:06:59,263
Uve meant well, his text
might have been a bit off (Laughter)

111
00:06:59,263 --> 00:07:02,579
but it certainly made me glad

112
00:07:02,579 --> 00:07:06,390
and it made me laugh for sure.
(Laughter)

113
00:07:08,486 --> 00:07:11,014
But my point is Uve did something

114
00:07:11,014 --> 00:07:14,748
and I see - now I've my phone out

115
00:07:14,748 --> 00:07:16,781
and I see you have your phones out,

116
00:07:16,781 --> 00:07:19,976
and I'm done here in a few seconds and -

117
00:07:19,976 --> 00:07:23,000
when I'm done I want you to

118
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,849
text or call a person
who needs to hear from you.

119
00:07:28,753 --> 00:07:32,287
And remember, you can't do 
or say anything wrong

120
00:07:32,287 --> 00:07:35,252
the only wrong you could do is
not doing anything.

121
00:07:35,252 --> 00:07:36,300
Thank you very much.

122
00:07:36,300 --> 00:07:39,770
(Applause)

123
00:07:39,770 --> 00:07:43,258
(Cheers)