0:00:20.987,0:00:24.760
Two years ago, I studied Latin[br]

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and realized that I've been[br]diagnosed with cancer.

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At least that it felt like[br]I had to study Latin

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to understand what the doctor[br]who just examined me was saying.

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He says, "You have testis cancer."

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I say, "I have to test what, to get what?"[br](Laughter)

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"No no no, no you have testis cancer."

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Testicular cancer,[br]testis is in Latin, means testicular.

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I don't know if it were[br]because of my obvious Latin look.

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(Laughter)

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He felt the need to tell me in Latin[br]what the problem was.

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And — actually as a comedian[br]for the last 16 years,

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I found it quite ironic that he told me[br]I might die in a language that's dead.

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(Laughter)

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(Applause)

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But this little Latin session [br]actually became quite symbolic to me,

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when I experienced the following[br]one and a half years,

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as I realized how hard it is for people

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to talk to people [br]who have a serious illness,

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and not just for you and me[br]but also for doctors.

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And it really became clear to me[br]when the cancer spread to my lung

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that even my wife and mother [br]became awkward

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about the communication with me.

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My wife withdrew and held back

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and she didn't want to ask me[br]too many questions of how I felt,

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and she was afraid [br]to put too much stress on me,

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and my mom, she was[br]a seriously concerned mom,

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no one wants to see her child sick.

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So she was too uncomfortable[br]about calling me,

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and —

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so we decided that I should just call her[br]when I had the energy to do it.

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But if there's someone

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you really want to be in charge with[br]when you're sick

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is your mom and you wife.

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You want a thousand questions a day,

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and you want a thousand missed calls[br]from your mother a day.

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And I heard from a lot of my friends[br]they say, [br]

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[br]"Yeah, we didn't want to contact you,

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we're afraid we're going to cry[br]or you're going to cry,[br]

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we weren't certain that what we say[br]will be profound enough."

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And my advice to anyone who knows[br]anyone who's seriously ill,

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there's nothing you can say or do[br]that's wrong,

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the only wrong you can do[br]it's doing nothing at all.

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And just a small "I'm thinking of you"[br]is enough,

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it doesn't have to be long [unclear].

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And — my mom doesn't have[br]a mobile or a computer,

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so she couldn't text me or send an email,

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but you know we all have - [br]except for my mom,[br]

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(Laughter)[br]this little device here,

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and if you know someone who's ill[br]

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you know, this is accessible 24/7.

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Send them a text, an email,[br]a facebook, a twitter

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and let them know that you are thinking[br]of them and their loved ones.

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And you know I remember when I was -

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it wasn't always I got hundreds[br]of messages from friends and family

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and it wasn't always[br]I had the strength to read them,

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but on good days[br]you know when I turn on my phone,

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hearing these messages coming in [br]and seeing them

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you know it really kept me going[br]and made my day.

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And especially the ones[br]that made me laugh.

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There was few moments where I laughed[br]I forgot that I was ill.

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I'll give you an example:[br]I had long hair

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I had to go through chemotherapy[br]and lost my hair,

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I had long hair for 20 years,[br]it was my brand, it was my image,

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and I got a text from a stand-up comedian[br]one of my colleagues

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with a picture of him[br]wearing a long hear wig,

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(Laughter)

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saying, "Don't worry my friend[br]I'll do your gigs for you,"

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(Laughter)

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"And of course keep the money."[br](Laughter)

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I worked at a radio station at the moment[br]and my boss came round

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with 6 chocolate balls.

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I had my testicles removed and —[br](Laughter)

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he thought I need a replacement[br](Laughter)

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and they're all different sizes[br]as he didn't know my exact size.

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(Laughter)

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When I was declared cancer-free

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which is 1 year and 8 days ago,

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I posted on...[br](Applause)

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Thank you.[br](Applause)

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(Applause)

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And I posted it on my Facebook[br]enthusiastically,

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"Yeah I beat cancer, it's so great,"

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and I got 4000 likes,[br]4000 people like my update!

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And I showed it to my nurse,[br]"Look, 4000 people like my update,"

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She just looked and said,[br]"Well, you have 50,000 fans!"

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(Laughter)

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So does that mean that 46,000[br]was like 'Oh, fuck'?. (Laughter)

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And I texted all my friends and family

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150 to be exact,

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and I said,[br]"Yeah I'm back, I'm alive, I beat cancer."

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and 149 wrote back,

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"That's amazing, that's amazing[br]we love you, we love life."

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Except for one guy, my friend Uve,[br]from my university,

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he wrote, "Oh dear Geo, [br]this is so great, good news.

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I myself have been ill lately,[br]I've had a little bit of fever.

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(Laughter)

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And I've also been dizzy,[br]but I'm all right now!

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(Laughter)[br]

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And I just booked tickets to Mexico,[br]It's going to be great."

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I had to go back,[br]I wrote to Uve,

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and he was,[br]"Yeah I've been struggling,

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fighting against cancer[br]for the last 1 and half years,

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I beat it, I might be mentally, [br]physically and financially broke,

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but who cares I'm alive!"

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"I've been a little bit dizzy."[br](Laughter)

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But it just shows, I mean,[br]these four examples

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show how extreme it can be

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and still, you know they all meant well,

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Uve meant well, his text[br]might have been a bit off (Laughter)

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but it certainly made me glad

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and it made me laugh for sure.[br](Laughter)

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But my point is Uve did something

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and I see - now I've my phone out

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and I see you have your phones out,

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and I'm done here in a few seconds and -

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when I'm done I want you to

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text or call a person[br]who needs to hear from you.

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And remember, you can't do [br]or say anything wrong

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the only wrong you could do is[br]not doing anything.

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Thank you very much.

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(Applause)

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(Cheers)