[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.91,0:00:03.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[cheering]\NMan's voice: It has been quite a year.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:03.91,0:00:07.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A lot has happened,\Nand we're stronger.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.90,0:00:10.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this time ...
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.22,0:00:14.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we're ready -- to -- win.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.80,0:00:19.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[girl singing]\N♪ There is a unicorn, his name is Gumdrop ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.23,0:00:22.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hello! My name is Michael Champagne.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.66,0:00:24.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm a proud pageant dad.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:26.01,0:00:27.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a full-time job,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.63,0:00:29.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I love it.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.43,0:00:32.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is my daughter Annette.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.35,0:00:34.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We named her after Annette Funicello.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.61,0:00:37.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I love allll things Disney:
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.29,0:00:41.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the parks, and the figurines,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.47,0:00:44.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and Zac Efron.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.06,0:00:48.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So my daughter Annette,\Nshe just turned five this year,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.68,0:00:52.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and she has had quite a growth spurt,\Nso I want you to meet her.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.07,0:00:54.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She's out here.\NWe'll sneak up on her, though,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.01,0:00:57.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'cause she's real shy. Not like me.\NShe doesn't understand the camera,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.36,0:00:59.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,y'know, unlike this one right here. \NC'mon, let's go.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.78,0:01:02.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[laughing]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.92,0:01:05.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Annette singing in a little-girl voice]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.55,0:01:06.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Michael: There she is!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.52,0:01:12.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ and he eats jelly bean pizza\Nfor breakfast ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.56,0:01:16.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I grow up,\NI'm gonna be a princess.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.59,0:01:20.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Michael: I make sure to tell her,\Neach and every day,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.84,0:01:23.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you can be anything you wanna be.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.44,0:01:29.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A pretty, pretty princess,\Nwho lives in a {\i1}big{\i0} tower,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.76,0:01:33.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so no Jews can get me.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.37,0:01:36.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Who the [bleep] left the god[bleep]\Nwater hose goin'?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.64,0:01:40.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is my sweetness, my, uh,\Nbeautiful wife Ribina,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.93,0:01:43.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,proud mother of our beautiful baby girl.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.25,0:01:46.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yay!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.76,0:01:48.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm colored.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.20,0:01:52.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ribina: I still ain't convinced she mine.\NNot fully.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.20,0:01:55.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Michael: We're actually able\Nto do these pageants
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.48,0:01:57.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because of this wonderful woman\Nright here.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.32,0:01:59.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, she brings home the bacon.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.06,0:02:00.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I smoke for a livin'.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.41,0:02:03.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ribina is a professional smoker.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.20,0:02:06.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You've heard of professional shoppers,\Nthat they got?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.10,0:02:09.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, the United Tobacco Smoking Agency --
Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.35,0:02:12.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Association of America,\Nget it right, bitch.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.42,0:02:14.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Association of America. \NAssociation of America!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.94,0:02:18.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pays Ribina to test all their products\Nfull-time.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.14,0:02:20.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Cause I think it's important\Nto do work that matters.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:20.55,0:02:21.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.30,0:02:23.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Annette singing about\Nher magical canoe]
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.16,0:02:25.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Michael, on phone:\NI did not order the color fuchsia.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.34,0:02:27.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I ordered the color flamingo.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.03,0:02:29.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Totally different,\Ndifferent colors. Absolutely.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.20,0:02:30.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I just -- hold on a second.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.89,0:02:34.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Um, sweetness, could you get the door\Nfor me, help me with all this stuff?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:34.46,0:02:36.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Can't you see I'm at work?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.39,0:02:37.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,God[bleep]!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.76,0:02:39.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Annette, echoing her: God[bleep]!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.08,0:02:40.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Blind [bleep]er!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.37,0:02:42.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Blind [bleep]er!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.33,0:02:44.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Which one did I have?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:44.54,0:02:45.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can't [bleep]in' tell!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.98,0:02:47.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So between her income smoking,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:47.97,0:02:52.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the, um, settlement that we got\Nfrom the fine folks at Taymag --
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.15,0:02:53.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ribina: Lint fire.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.34,0:02:55.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Michael: You don't think\Nit's gonna happen to you.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.48,0:02:56.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ribina: Dryer tried to kill me.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.96,0:02:59.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Michael: Yeah, you really gotta\Nclean that drawer out.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.22,0:03:01.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ribina: That [bleep]in' dryer\Ntried to kill me.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.26,0:03:02.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Michael: It did.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.20,0:03:06.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One time, Mommy's cigarettes\Nmade the dryer go boom.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.51,0:03:09.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Michael, laughing: Hush, now, Annette.\NNo no no, that's not what happened.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.58,0:03:13.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes it is! I was there, I saw it.\NMommy's cigarettes made the dryer go --
Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.72,0:03:15.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,OK, what'd I tell you about \Ntellin' tall tales?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.96,0:03:18.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Um, could you turn that off\Nfor a second, please?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.56,0:03:20.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just cut, or whatever you say?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.91,0:03:22.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cut.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.14,0:03:24.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Michael: We are rehearsing\Nfor the Miss Star Eyes Pageant,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.86,0:03:29.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which we had to drop out of last year\Nat the very last minute.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.38,0:03:32.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had a hysterectomy.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.18,0:03:33.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She had pink eye.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.81,0:03:37.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Michael: OK, Annette, let's tell them!\NWe're here to --
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.73,0:03:39.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Win!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:39.34,0:03:40.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if we don't win, it's --
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.98,0:03:42.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,OK!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.40,0:03:44.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As long as we don't lose --
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.19,0:03:46.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To a Mexican.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:47.67,0:03:49.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Our heart.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.81,0:03:51.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As long as we don't lose our heart.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.81,0:03:56.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Daddy says that Mexicans\Nare lazy and dirty.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.24,0:03:59.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Honestly, I don't know where she\Ncomes up with this stuff.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:59.34,0:04:01.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know. It just goes and goes.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.76,0:04:04.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Annette: That's what he says. \NHe says lazy, dirty Mexicans.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.68,0:04:07.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She watches too much TV, \Nher mother lets her,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:07.16,0:04:09.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she jabbajabbajabba,\Nand doesn't make a lick o'sense.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:10.02,0:04:13.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Michael: I love Mexicans! \NI love every kind of Mexican.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.62,0:04:16.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I love Salma Hayek,\NI love Christopher Walken,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:19.11,0:04:22.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Annette is gonna clean up\Nin the talent portion.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:22.43,0:04:25.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She lights up a stage!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:26.74,0:04:28.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[click, click]
Dialogue: 0,0:04:28.71,0:04:30.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[BOOM!]
Dialogue: 0,0:04:30.61,0:04:32.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[theme song] \N♪ There is a unicorn ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.32,0:04:35.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ and his name is Gumdrop ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:04:35.46,0:04:38.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ and he lives on Gumdrop Mountain ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:04:38.48,0:04:42.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ and he likes to eat\Njelly bean pizza for breakfast ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:04:42.49,0:04:46.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ and he has a magic hula hoop ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.86,0:04:51.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ and his favorite number is 8 ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.31,0:04:57.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ which just also happens\Nto be my favorite number ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:04:57.19,0:05:01.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ His name is Gumdrop the Unicorn ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:05:01.84,0:05:06.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ and then last Tuesday ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:05:06.32,0:05:09.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ he died ♪