WEBVTT 00:00:22.179 --> 00:00:23.441 Hi 00:00:23.466 --> 00:00:24.616 Hi 00:00:26.256 --> 00:00:29.626 I was bullied in early middle school. 00:00:29.700 --> 00:00:37.390 My tormentor was calling, so he called her back 00:00:37.407 --> 00:00:45.067 and he said, "stop spreading slanderous filth about my sister!" 00:00:46.888 --> 00:00:54.308 And I just thought, he's so cool. No nobody's going to mess with me as long as I've got him in my corner. 00:00:54.367 --> 00:00:56.630 And he was in my corner, always. 00:00:56.630 --> 00:00:58.320 [Dad asking] Who's going to carry you? 00:00:58.335 --> 00:00:59.515 No one. 00:00:59.546 --> 00:01:02.286 You're gonna go by yourself? 00:01:02.298 --> 00:01:04.788 No, I'm coming with her. 00:01:04.877 --> 00:01:07.547 Kaitlyn, look at me. 00:01:12.048 --> 00:01:15.028 Now, turn the page. 00:01:15.141 --> 00:01:19.631 Jonathan had his own struggles and a lot of it was self esteem 00:01:19.642 --> 00:01:23.022 He was constantly having to be helped at school 00:01:23.024 --> 00:01:29.664 Those all fed into things that had him turn to medicating himself 00:01:29.677 --> 00:01:32.207 with alcohol and cocaine and - 00:01:32.215 --> 00:01:38.245 We talked to everybody. Just everybody didn't see that coming. 00:01:38.914 --> 00:01:43.054 Not just, what did we miss. What did we all miss? 00:01:55.168 --> 00:01:58.988 Mark told me that from the get go, from the first time we met 00:01:58.993 --> 00:02:02.403 he really felt that this was going to be something 00:02:02.605 --> 00:02:11.915 I was far more cautious and reticent. I hadn't been involved in a long term relationship before. 00:02:13.421 --> 00:02:18.351 We enjoyed nature so much. Every weekend we went out to discovery park. 00:02:18.351 --> 00:02:24.811 We could see the change of seasons and see the subtle changes of the leaves and the flowers and the seeds. 00:02:24.829 --> 00:02:29.199 Rain or shine, we made that quick walk. 00:02:30.254 --> 00:02:37.424 Mark developed huge anxiety as a result of what was happening at his business 00:02:37.432 --> 00:02:42.772 and had to go to the emergency room. 00:02:42.788 --> 00:02:48.318 Twice we called an ambulance and it never occurred to me that suicide was in the offing. 00:02:48.362 --> 00:03:01.502 The people at the emergency room did not talk with me about any possibility of anxiety leading to suicide. 00:03:07.034 --> 00:03:13.364 I would thank Mark for the 27 years of happiness we had together. 00:03:13.511 --> 00:03:20.291 I would tell him that I love him deeply and I miss him horribly. 00:03:28.707 --> 00:03:31.787 She was a very successful child. 00:03:33.572 --> 00:03:39.482 She was good at everything she tried. 00:03:39.532 --> 00:03:43.692 Before she could write, she would have little notebooks full of scribbles. 00:03:43.749 --> 00:03:47.659 And she would sit there with facial expressions 00:03:47.662 --> 00:03:49.307 and write and we would go, what is she writing? 00:03:49.357 --> 00:03:58.127 and we'd look and it would be pages and pages of scribbles and storytelling that was somewhere in her head. 00:03:59.822 --> 00:04:02.202 Life got harder for Brooke. 00:04:02.261 --> 00:04:05.761 The things that she used to conquer easily were more challenging. 00:04:05.772 --> 00:04:11.662 Like, the progression in three years of what I would identify now as depression 00:04:11.695 --> 00:04:15.865 but didn't see it that way then 00:04:22.786 --> 00:04:25.456 One night, I came home from wherever I was 00:04:25.459 --> 00:04:32.099 and she showed me she had cuts on her wrist 00:04:32.121 --> 00:04:37.798 and I asked her if she was trying to kill herself and she said 00:04:37.798 --> 00:04:42.292 I was, I wanted to, and then I changed my mind. 00:04:42.432 --> 00:04:47.422 And I said, thank God you changed your mind. 00:04:49.480 --> 00:04:54.130 I wish I had asked sooner, because I feel like I got lucky. 00:05:03.821 --> 00:05:09.276 I still have times where I'm sad, just like everyone 00:05:09.276 --> 00:05:11.143 but I can handle it now 00:05:11.143 --> 00:05:15.323 I've learned ways to deal with it so when it comes up it's not scary. 00:05:28.716 --> 00:05:33.856 It's not a happy subject of course but it's really important to talk about it. 00:05:34.511 --> 00:05:40.891 It's tragic, and places like Forefront recognize that 00:05:40.909 --> 00:05:43.122 and know that there are ways we can treat it 00:05:43.122 --> 00:05:46.642 or at least try and stop it 00:05:46.643 --> 00:05:51.003 those telltale signs of things that we don't necessarily know are out there 00:05:51.034 --> 00:05:55.344 We should learn them before it happens to somebody else.