1 00:00:22,179 --> 00:00:23,441 Hi 2 00:00:23,466 --> 00:00:24,616 Hi 3 00:00:26,256 --> 00:00:29,626 I was bullied in early middle school. 4 00:00:29,700 --> 00:00:37,390 My tormentor was calling, so he called her back 5 00:00:37,407 --> 00:00:45,067 and he said, "stop spreading slanderous filth about my sister!" 6 00:00:46,888 --> 00:00:54,308 And I just thought, he's so cool. No nobody's going to mess with me as long as I've got him in my corner. 7 00:00:54,367 --> 00:00:56,630 And he was in my corner, always. 8 00:00:56,630 --> 00:00:58,320 [Dad asking] Who's going to carry you? 9 00:00:58,335 --> 00:00:59,515 No one. 10 00:00:59,546 --> 00:01:02,286 You're gonna go by yourself? 11 00:01:02,298 --> 00:01:04,788 No, I'm coming with her. 12 00:01:04,877 --> 00:01:07,547 Kaitlyn, look at me. 13 00:01:12,048 --> 00:01:15,028 Now, turn the page. 14 00:01:15,141 --> 00:01:19,631 Jonathan had his own struggles and a lot of it was self esteem 15 00:01:19,642 --> 00:01:23,022 He was constantly having to be helped at school 16 00:01:23,024 --> 00:01:29,664 Those all fed into things that had him turn to medicating himself 17 00:01:29,677 --> 00:01:32,207 with alcohol and cocaine and - 18 00:01:32,215 --> 00:01:38,245 We talked to everybody. Just everybody didn't see that coming. 19 00:01:38,914 --> 00:01:43,054 Not just, what did we miss. What did we all miss? 20 00:01:55,168 --> 00:01:58,988 Mark told me that from the get go, from the first time we met 21 00:01:58,993 --> 00:02:02,403 he really felt that this was going to be something 22 00:02:02,605 --> 00:02:11,915 I was far more cautious and reticent. I hadn't been involved in a long term relationship before. 23 00:02:13,421 --> 00:02:18,351 We enjoyed nature so much. Every weekend we went out to discovery park. 24 00:02:18,351 --> 00:02:24,811 We could see the change of seasons and see the subtle changes of the leaves and the flowers and the seeds. 25 00:02:24,829 --> 00:02:29,199 Rain or shine, we made that quick walk. 26 00:02:30,254 --> 00:02:37,424 Mark developed huge anxiety as a result of what was happening at his business 27 00:02:37,432 --> 00:02:42,772 and had to go to the emergency room. 28 00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:48,318 Twice we called an ambulance and it never occurred to me that suicide was in the offing. 29 00:02:48,362 --> 00:03:01,502 The people at the emergency room did not talk with me about any possibility of anxiety leading to suicide. 30 00:03:07,034 --> 00:03:13,364 I would thank Mark for the 27 years of happiness we had together. 31 00:03:13,511 --> 00:03:20,291 I would tell him that I love him deeply and I miss him horribly. 32 00:03:28,707 --> 00:03:31,787 She was a very successful child. 33 00:03:33,572 --> 00:03:39,482 She was good at everything she tried. 34 00:03:39,532 --> 00:03:43,692 Before she could write, she would have little notebooks full of scribbles. 35 00:03:43,749 --> 00:03:47,659 And she would sit there with facial expressions 36 00:03:47,662 --> 00:03:49,307 and write and we would go, what is she writing? 37 00:03:49,357 --> 00:03:58,127 and we'd look and it would be pages and pages of scribbles and storytelling that was somewhere in her head. 38 00:03:59,822 --> 00:04:02,202 Life got harder for Brooke. 39 00:04:02,261 --> 00:04:05,761 The things that she used to conquer easily were more challenging. 40 00:04:05,772 --> 00:04:11,662 Like, the progression in three years of what I would identify now as depression 41 00:04:11,695 --> 00:04:15,865 but didn't see it that way then 42 00:04:22,786 --> 00:04:25,456 One night, I came home from wherever I was 43 00:04:25,459 --> 00:04:32,099 and she showed me she had cuts on her wrist 44 00:04:32,121 --> 00:04:37,798 and I asked her if she was trying to kill herself and she said 45 00:04:37,798 --> 00:04:42,292 I was, I wanted to, and then I changed my mind. 46 00:04:42,432 --> 00:04:47,422 And I said, thank God you changed your mind. 47 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:54,130 I wish I had asked sooner, because I feel like I got lucky. 48 00:05:03,821 --> 00:05:09,276 I still have times where I'm sad, just like everyone 49 00:05:09,276 --> 00:05:11,143 but I can handle it now 50 00:05:11,143 --> 00:05:15,323 I've learned ways to deal with it so when it comes up it's not scary. 51 00:05:28,716 --> 00:05:33,856 It's not a happy subject of course but it's really important to talk about it. 52 00:05:34,511 --> 00:05:40,891 It's tragic, and places like Forefront recognize that 53 00:05:40,909 --> 00:05:43,122 and know that there are ways we can treat it 54 00:05:43,122 --> 00:05:46,642 or at least try and stop it 55 00:05:46,643 --> 00:05:51,003 those telltale signs of things that we don't necessarily know are out there 56 00:05:51,034 --> 00:05:55,344 We should learn them before it happens to somebody else.