What’s good yo? This week we cryin’ havoc with Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare.
In the 1st century BC, Julius Caesar and his army just cruised back to Rome
after bitch-slappin his rival Pompey. And now he and his entourage ragin through the
streets to celebrate. It’s all poppin bottles and smokin kush til some Soothsayer calls
our boy out and say “You best Beware the Ides of March, yo” but Caesar just shakes
that hater off and rolls another fatty.
Later some busta named Cassius conversatin with Brutus, Caesar’s main brutha
from another motha. And Cassius be all like “Caesar gonna become king and he ain’t
even all dat. Dat fool’s got to go. You feel me?” Brutus dig, but he ain’t happy
bout it. Caesar’s his boy, but he don’t want no tyrants messin with the Roman peeps.
So he crew up with the cause and the sh** goes DOWN March 15th.
That day, Caesar bout to leave the crib when his biddy Calpurnia say “baby
don’t go. I seen some sh** and just KNOW something whack gonna happen.” He like “oh
sh** word?” But when one of Cassisius’s thugz roll up, he convinces Caesar his bitch
be trippin, and then say “if you whipped like dat, you can stay home instead of lettin’
us crown you King. Caesar be like “Hold up brotha. Don’t be like dat. Let’s do
this.”
As soon as they reach the spot, all dem traitors whip out their blades and SHANK
his ass. When Caesar sees his bro Brutus join in, he say “ Aw sh** you too man?” Then
BAM dat fool dead.
At Caesar’s funeral, Brutus try sweet-talkin the Romans by tellin em that
killin Caesar was a FAVOR to Rome. And at first, erryone believe him. But Caesar’s
boy Antony ain’t havin none of dat. He rocks the mic and makes all of Caesar’s killers
look like real assholes. Next thing you know, the Roman people be burning down houses and
kick Brutus and Cassius to the curb.
So Antony, Octavius Caesar, and some rich playboy Lepidus start
raisin a swoel army to stomp dem backstabbin’ snitches.
snitches get stiches
sh** goes HAM at the battle of Philippi, where brothas screamin “187”
on the reg. Then Cassius thinks he see one of his homeboys Titinius get captured, gets
all torn-up and kills himself. But turns out ol Titty just fine, but can’t handle Cassius
bein dead, so he decide to take dat long dirt nap too.
When Brutus’s army gets straight WRECKED, he decide he gonna stack one more
body- his own. Then Antony roll up to Brutus’s body and pours one out for our boy sayin he
was the most legit Roman of them all, cuz unlike the rest of dem backstabbin rats, Brutus
was actin for the good of the hood.
Now if yo bitch-ass thinkin’ you readin’ straight history up in here, you
best check yo-self. Cuz da bard wasn’t trippin bout historical accuracy, B. Matter of fact,
some of the details he pulled right out of his ass-
For example, in the play ol JC can’t hear sh** out of one ear. And even
though dat ain’t the way it was, Willy Shakes slangin dat detail to symbolize that although
he can hear all the righteous things people say bout him, fool is COMPLETELY DEAF to all
the warnings that his boys bout to cross him.
And that’s part of what makes dis play a tragedy: Caesar’s head is so damn
big that he thinkin he should rock the crown even though it ain’t rightfully his. Caesar
think he so hard dat ain’t nobody can touch him- so he don’t listen to nobody: his wife,
da soothsayer- and dat’s why his arrogant ass ends up in dirt.
Cuz like Cicero say, people only hear what they wanna hear-
And speakin of hearin’, listen up, son. Even though the play is called Julius
Caesar, fool gets iced just half way through. Some scholas think that this play is really about Brutus and he the real tragic hero
Ain’t no doubt that he wanted to put his boy Caesar six feet deep.
But unlike Cassius, who just a jealous playa-hater, Brutus was tryin to create
a free Rome with no Tyrants. So as much as it hurt Brutus to backstab his realest homie,
that wasn’t his tragic flaw. His biggest mistake. Naw blood. It was rollin w the wrong
crew.
So roll with the right crew and hit dat subscribe button!