1
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If I am here before you today,

2
00:00:09,038 --> 00:00:12,779
me, Karine, a 42-year-old woman,

3
00:00:13,769 --> 00:00:17,322
it's to share a human experience with you.

4
00:00:18,762 --> 00:00:21,754
No, I didn't invent the light bulb,

5
00:00:21,754 --> 00:00:24,246
not even the butter slicer,

6
00:00:24,246 --> 00:00:26,294
and besides, I wouldn't even be able to.

7
00:00:27,514 --> 00:00:28,762
If I am here before you,

8
00:00:28,762 --> 00:00:32,791
while my legs, my hands
are shaking like never before,

9
00:00:33,741 --> 00:00:37,251
and my insides at this moment
are turning into a liquid state,

10
00:00:37,251 --> 00:00:38,810
(Laughter)

11
00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:42,772
it's to talk to you
of this ability we all have,

12
00:00:42,772 --> 00:00:44,794
I am sure of it,

13
00:00:45,504 --> 00:00:49,276
to transform every hardship,
however painful,

14
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into something positive,
first of all for yourself

15
00:00:54,013 --> 00:00:56,100
and for others as well.

16
00:00:58,750 --> 00:01:01,799
I am here before you
but I should be dead.

17
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But not from sickness, no,

18
00:01:05,252 --> 00:01:07,425
not as a consequence
of a serious accident,

19
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no, none of that, 
but I'll come back to it later.

20
00:01:12,508 --> 00:01:14,781
There was a time when I had everything,

21
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an exciting job,

22
00:01:17,497 --> 00:01:19,513
my soulmate as a husband

23
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and a child, a girl.

24
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My existence was following
a perfectly peaceful path.

25
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We both had careers,

26
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we changed cars regularly,

27
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we went on vacations,
we owned an apartment

28
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and then we began to dream
of a house, a beautiful house.

29
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My husband would have drawn the plans,
I'd have thought about the decoration,

30
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There would have been a yard for the kids,

31
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yes, we had decided to have others,

32
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and for the cat as well.

33
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In short, everything was perfect,

34
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comfortably commonplace.

35
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And then everything fell apart :

36
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for 3 years, violent events
came up one after another

37
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with relentless regularity.

38
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First my professional life

39
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paid the price of 
a labor court procedure.

40
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I was the one who took it on.

41
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Psychological harassment.

42
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At first, I won,

43
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then without too much explaining,

44
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justice took away with one hand

45
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what they had given me with another.

46
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I have to say that psychological
harassment is so subtle.

47
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Above all, I lost a lot of money
and self-esteem.

48
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In the middle of all this,
I was pregnant with my second child.

49
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Another girl though,
but we were happy.

50
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I also lost her,

51
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at birth.

52
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She died in my womb,

53
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I had to give birth to her,

54
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and accept that
I would never hear her cry.

55
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Accept that she had left me forever.

56
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She was so beautiful, so perfect.

57
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And then, my husband that left me,

58
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4 months after
the birth of our third child.

59
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I was strongly set on
recovering from my failures though,

60
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but I lost him too.

61
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There, that was the final blow.

62
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That's how I ended up

63
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lost, alone in the world,

64
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alone in my world

65
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that had become a real nightmare.

66
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A permanent nightmare!

67
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Filled with suffering, grief,

68
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fear, and emptiness.

69
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I had no husband, no job,

70
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no money,

71
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with two young dependent children
and tons of mourning to do.

72
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All my dreams had gone up in smoke.

73
00:03:48,745 --> 00:03:52,071
Getting back on my feet?
I thought it was an impossible mission.

74
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Anyway, each attempt
to get myself out of this situation

75
00:03:57,774 --> 00:03:59,770
by sheer mental force

76
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:02,266
ended in failure.

77
00:04:07,746 --> 00:04:10,806
Finding a job: failed!

78
00:04:11,256 --> 00:04:14,256
Finding love, in my state,

79
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failed!

80
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Oh when it has us in its grip!

81
00:04:18,736 --> 00:04:20,802
Yes, at that moment,
I almost jumped.

82
00:04:21,252 --> 00:04:23,756
It was from the top of my balcony
on the 5th floor,

83
00:04:23,756 --> 00:04:26,294
one July evening almost 5 years ago.

84
00:04:26,784 --> 00:04:29,506
I didn't do it, but, you will admit,
given my situation,

85
00:04:29,506 --> 00:04:31,438
the idea was rather tempting.

86
00:04:32,228 --> 00:04:35,282
No, that day, I made the difficult 
choice to stay alive.

87
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I say difficult, because at that instant,
to die would almost have been a relief.

88
00:04:40,492 --> 00:04:45,516
But I made the choice to stay alive,
at least in appearance.


89
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For many months,
I was unable to move,

90
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I just survived,

91
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with an empty heart,

92
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a stomach full of heavy hardships,

93
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that were indigestible.

94
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The more time went by,

95
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the more I began to shut myself
in my victim skin

96
00:05:10,261 --> 00:05:12,058
that ended up fitting me wonderfully:

97
00:05:12,058 --> 00:05:14,777
I had become a master
in the art of negativity.

98
00:05:16,497 --> 00:05:19,553
I am completely useless, 
I'll never get anywhere.

99
00:05:20,793 --> 00:05:23,269
Why does fate deal such a cruel hand?

100
00:05:24,259 --> 00:05:26,506
What did I do to deserve all of this?

101
00:05:26,506 --> 00:05:29,293
When will the tide finally turn?

102
00:05:30,333 --> 00:05:33,509
Do you know what happens
when you have nothing left to lose?

103
00:05:33,509 --> 00:05:35,778
Because then, I must say,
I had nothing left to lose.

104
00:05:35,778 --> 00:05:38,795
When you have reached that low,
you want it to stop, to change.

105
00:05:39,245 --> 00:05:40,265
If I was to live,

106
00:05:40,265 --> 00:05:43,615
I was ready to try everything
as long as it changed the state I was in.

107
00:05:43,745 --> 00:05:47,296
Everything or almost,
I remained vigilant, attentive.

108
00:05:47,766 --> 00:05:50,287
My survival instinct
still worked, after all.

109
00:05:50,757 --> 00:05:54,270
Nevertheless, something strange happened.

110
00:05:55,260 --> 00:05:57,520
I let go of
my last mental resistances.

111
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I gave up control,

112
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and everything opened up,

113
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everything became possible.

114
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I first met someone,
and then another and another.

115
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New people, 
some were strangers,

116
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it was as if we had
to be put on the same path

117
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not for nothing, not by chance.

118
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It was as if we had to meet, to talk,

119
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everything sounded very right.

120
00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:28,655
These people,
with simplicity and benevolence,

121
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showed me a whole different way
of seeing things

122
00:06:32,251 --> 00:06:33,786
with such good sense.

123
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They taught me about changing posture,

124
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And what I was hoping for finally came.

125
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It changed everything.

126
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Eventually, a part of me decided
to get back on my feet.

127
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A part of me decided
to face things head-on,

128
00:06:47,764 --> 00:06:49,970
pushed me to look at
myself right in the face.

129
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Me, enclosed in my self-victimization,

130
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I was finally able to take a step back,

131
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to look at the events from a distance.

132
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Look, it's like a movie theater,

133
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If you fix the eye of the camera

134
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on an element of the setting
that is particularly terrifying

135
00:07:06,501 --> 00:07:09,780
then zoom out
again, again, and again,

136
00:07:09,780 --> 00:07:13,269
put this element back
into its global context,

137
00:07:13,269 --> 00:07:16,984
into its place, all of a sudden,
it becomes a lot less frightening.

138
00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:19,011
I was finally able to bring

139
00:07:19,011 --> 00:07:21,528
the tragic events 
of my existence into perspective.

140
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I was finally able to see the space
that remained for the rest.

141
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And since I was alive,
that space was immense.

142
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Changing posture
allowed me to review the story

143
00:07:35,762 --> 00:07:38,779
while keeping in mind 
my share of responsibility.

144
00:07:38,779 --> 00:07:42,358
That's right, we all have 
a share of responsibility

145
00:07:42,358 --> 00:07:44,836
in everything that happens to us
in our life.

146
00:07:44,836 --> 00:07:47,262
And saying that doesn't mean
beating yourself up,

147
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on the contrary.

148
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There is our share,

149
00:07:50,509 --> 00:07:53,990
which we can act on,
understand, intergrate,

150
00:07:53,990 --> 00:07:55,793
ingest, heal if needs be,

151
00:07:56,263 --> 00:07:59,536
to change our manner of being,
to no longer imitate.

152
00:08:00,336 --> 00:08:02,761
And there is the share
of responsibility of others.

153
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That which has to be left to them.

154
00:08:05,247 --> 00:08:07,753
The share that is 
impossible to intercede on.

155
00:08:08,253 --> 00:08:12,543
That which you have to let go of,
accepting being powerless.

156
00:08:14,053 --> 00:08:15,765
How arrogant, if we think about it,

157
00:08:15,765 --> 00:08:17,781
to believe that we have
the ability to intervene

158
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on the part of others' responsibility.

159
00:08:21,260 --> 00:08:23,600
How exhausting really.

160
00:08:25,490 --> 00:08:27,796
I want justice to be fair.

161
00:08:30,476 --> 00:08:33,032
I want my daughter to live.

162
00:08:34,752 --> 00:08:37,558
I want my husband to stay.

163
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All this, I let go of

164
00:08:41,751 --> 00:08:44,414
and I already felt a lot lighter.

165
00:08:47,744 --> 00:08:49,507
Well I have to confess to you,

166
00:08:49,507 --> 00:08:52,750
changing posture
didn't happen in one day. No.

167
00:08:53,250 --> 00:08:55,565
Obviously,
I made a few round trips


168
00:08:55,565 --> 00:08:56,820
here and there.

169
00:08:57,460 --> 00:09:00,757
And obviously, the victim in me
came out on a few occasions

170
00:09:00,757 --> 00:09:02,812
and by the way,
it still does sometimes.

171
00:09:03,742 --> 00:09:07,539
But I see it coming now,
and I face it head-on right away.

172
00:09:07,959 --> 00:09:09,856
It became a reflex.

173
00:09:11,236 --> 00:09:13,782
Imagine how magic changing posture is,

174
00:09:13,782 --> 00:09:15,266
how it changes everything.

175
00:09:15,266 --> 00:09:17,736
Our view of ourselves, of others,

176
00:09:17,736 --> 00:09:19,146
of life in general.

177
00:09:19,486 --> 00:09:21,256
It even allows for humor.

178
00:09:22,006 --> 00:09:25,754
It opens doors, horizons, possibilites,

179
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and at times even,

180
00:09:27,252 --> 00:09:30,761
it reveals hidden treasures
here, there, on the inside,

181
00:09:31,481 --> 00:09:32,800
that we didn't imagine.

182
00:09:33,250 --> 00:09:36,261
Inside me, since childhood
there was a hidden desire to write.

183
00:09:36,731 --> 00:09:38,775
I was doing it, well,
it was my career,

184
00:09:39,225 --> 00:09:41,242
but I decided to do it differently,

185
00:09:41,242 --> 00:09:42,659
for pleasure.

186
00:09:43,499 --> 00:09:45,506
So I wrote a text,

187
00:09:45,506 --> 00:09:47,260
texts filled with humor,

188
00:09:47,260 --> 00:09:48,764
stuffed with irony

189
00:09:48,764 --> 00:09:51,029
to talk about my experiences,

190
00:09:51,029 --> 00:09:55,504
about women, kids, men,

191
00:09:56,254 --> 00:09:58,771
about women with kids
who are looking for men

192
00:09:59,231 --> 00:10:00,790
and about society in general.

193
00:10:01,250 --> 00:10:04,256
I wrote one, then two, then 13,

194
00:10:04,256 --> 00:10:06,754
then I opened a Facebook page
to share them,

195
00:10:06,754 --> 00:10:07,813
and it worked.

196
00:10:08,753 --> 00:10:09,770
"Bravo,

197
00:10:09,770 --> 00:10:12,277
it's basically my life",
said the comments

198
00:10:14,497 --> 00:10:16,044
One day, I compiled them,

199
00:10:16,044 --> 00:10:19,009
then I sent them to an editor
found by chance on the internet.

200
00:10:19,009 --> 00:10:22,277
The editor needed 40 pages,
I had exactly 40.

201
00:10:24,227 --> 00:10:26,261
I still remember
the day he replied,

202
00:10:26,261 --> 00:10:27,935
this "Yes",

203
00:10:27,935 --> 00:10:29,790
this setence full of compliments

204
00:10:29,790 --> 00:10:32,769
that talked about the unanimity
of the reading commity.

205
00:10:34,469 --> 00:10:36,753
Joy brings about joy,

206
00:10:36,753 --> 00:10:39,826
it brings about effort,
the desire to move forward,

207
00:10:39,826 --> 00:10:41,802
to leave the past behind you,

208
00:10:42,762 --> 00:10:45,257
without ignoring it, oh no,

209
00:10:45,257 --> 00:10:47,283
but transforming it.

210
00:10:48,723 --> 00:10:54,002
Transforming indigestible things
into positive things.

211
00:10:54,762 --> 00:10:58,537
Transforming hardship
into experience for what comes next.

212
00:11:01,277 --> 00:11:03,130
And then I started my own business.

213
00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:05,240
I had no job,

214
00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:07,267
I created one fit to my size,
made for me.

215
00:11:08,237 --> 00:11:11,545
Writing for others,
articles, brochures, okay.

216
00:11:12,235 --> 00:11:16,245
But also portraits, story-telling,

217
00:11:16,245 --> 00:11:17,785
recounting stories.

218
00:11:18,485 --> 00:11:21,766
Recounting those that do
and what motivates to do,

219
00:11:21,776 --> 00:11:23,292
in depth.

220
00:11:23,942 --> 00:11:26,768
To find their meaning
and to bring it to light.

221
00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:29,846
I don't really know
what life has in store for me,

222
00:11:29,846 --> 00:11:31,538
but I am no longer afraid.

223
00:11:31,998 --> 00:11:34,243
I love my life down
to the smallest details,

224
00:11:34,243 --> 00:11:36,270
and if I were to do it again,

225
00:11:36,270 --> 00:11:37,777
I wouldn't change a thing.

226
00:11:38,237 --> 00:11:40,744
Because I know that the hardships
that I experienced

227
00:11:40,744 --> 00:11:43,775
contributed to the woman
that I am today.

228
00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:45,796
What a gift!

229
00:11:48,736 --> 00:11:49,768
I am still writing,

230
00:11:49,768 --> 00:11:53,030
there is a new manuscript
that is circulated in the editors' office.

231
00:11:53,750 --> 00:11:56,772
Because through my story,
I intend to bear witness

232
00:11:56,772 --> 00:12:01,036
of this power, our power,
to change posture

233
00:12:01,036 --> 00:12:03,787
in order to overcome,
to transform everything.

234
00:12:05,477 --> 00:12:10,295
Hardship into experience,
Experience into the power of life,

235
00:12:11,245 --> 00:12:13,010
yes, I intend to bear witness

236
00:12:13,010 --> 00:12:14,743
because I know that hardships,

237
00:12:14,743 --> 00:12:16,508
small or large,

238
00:12:16,508 --> 00:12:18,313
can affect each and every one of us.

239
00:12:18,753 --> 00:12:23,249
They have no race, culture, or border.

240
00:12:25,239 --> 00:12:28,239
In my close environment 
at the moment,

241
00:12:28,239 --> 00:12:31,530
there is a woman whose husband
is dying from cancer,

242
00:12:32,250 --> 00:12:36,752
and to stick the knife deeper, their only
child has a degenerative disease

243
00:12:36,752 --> 00:12:40,302
and he will perhaps not
be able to grow old.

244
00:12:42,752 --> 00:12:45,291
I know what this woman will go through.

245
00:12:46,251 --> 00:12:48,557
Perhaps she will find herself
in her turn.

246
00:12:49,067 --> 00:12:52,276
Perhaps she will not believe 
herself capable of picking herself up.

247
00:12:53,246 --> 00:12:55,769
So if my account 
could help her a little...

248
00:12:57,739 --> 00:13:00,251
But beyond tragic situations,
I must tell you,

249
00:13:00,251 --> 00:13:01,987
changing posture works every time.

250
00:13:01,987 --> 00:13:04,760
So there are many situations
in everyday's life

251
00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:08,262
that can put you on
the small floating victim's island.

252
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:10,532
Imagine,

253
00:13:12,252 --> 00:13:16,269
your youngest chooses the day

254
00:13:16,269 --> 00:13:19,506
of that unavoidable business meeting

255
00:13:19,506 --> 00:13:22,533
to get up in the morning
with a 104 degree fever

256
00:13:23,263 --> 00:13:26,796
"Shit! This kid! This can't
be happening, I can't handle this!"

257
00:13:30,026 --> 00:13:32,755
You light the last candle,
the meal is ready,

258
00:13:32,755 --> 00:13:36,554
you're wearing your 
special romantic evening dress.

259
00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:41,543
The telephone rings, it's your husband,
he seems embarrassed,

260
00:13:42,233 --> 00:13:46,285
"Yes, honey, it's me,
I'm calling you quickly, I am sorry,

261
00:13:46,755 --> 00:13:49,531
tonight I'm coming home late,
I have a meeting."

262
00:13:50,751 --> 00:13:53,257
"I'm fed up with this guy!"

263
00:13:56,497 --> 00:13:59,535
Your boss asks you, kindly but firmly,

264
00:14:00,755 --> 00:14:02,810
to postpone the day
you leave for vacation,

265
00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:06,245
when your bags are already packed

266
00:14:06,245 --> 00:14:09,031
and in the trunk of your car,
your family is waiting,

267
00:14:09,031 --> 00:14:11,513
the plane takes off in 2 hours...

268
00:14:12,503 --> 00:14:15,795
So tired of this shit job.

269
00:14:18,755 --> 00:14:21,270
Last case, an old lady,

270
00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:25,005
totally impolite but sure of herself,

271
00:14:25,005 --> 00:14:27,782
cuts you in the line at the till
at the super market,

272
00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:30,784
pushing you.

273
00:14:32,054 --> 00:14:34,995
Old hag!
Floating victim's island.

274
00:14:36,015 --> 00:14:38,283
Change your posture immediately!

275
00:14:42,493 --> 00:14:45,794
What is your share of responsibility 
in what is happening to you?

276
00:14:46,764 --> 00:14:49,262
What is making you suffer so much?

277
00:14:49,262 --> 00:14:51,520
What had you planned?

278
00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:53,771
What are you a victim of?

279
00:14:53,771 --> 00:14:56,782
And by the way, are you the victim?

280
00:14:57,752 --> 00:15:01,413
And then, leave the share
of responsibility to the others.

281
00:15:01,493 --> 00:15:06,262
Finally, open up here.
Let the creativity come.

282
00:15:06,742 --> 00:15:11,518
Invent, imagine, laugh, transform!

283
00:15:16,018 --> 00:15:18,759
It is almost 5 years
that I should have been dead.

284
00:15:20,249 --> 00:15:24,765
If I had been told 
that I'd be here, now,

285
00:15:24,765 --> 00:15:28,287
sharing my human experience with you...

286
00:15:30,777 --> 00:15:33,773
that changing my posture saved me

287
00:15:33,773 --> 00:15:36,509
and then that it still saves me
everyday.

288
00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:39,760
Because it allows me to be alive,

289
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:42,771
so alive, and happy to be it.

290
00:15:43,251 --> 00:15:44,294
Thank you.

291
00:15:44,774 --> 00:15:49,688
(Applause)