[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:06.46,0:00:09.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One year ago, I rented a car in Jerusalem
Dialogue: 0,0:00:09.48,0:00:11.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to go find a man I'd never met
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.67,0:00:13.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but who had changed my life.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.81,0:00:16.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't have a phone number to call to say I was coming.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:16.56,0:00:19.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't have an exact address,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.06,0:00:21.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I knew his name, Abed,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.67,0:00:26.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I knew that he lived in a town of 15,000, Kfar Kara,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:26.32,0:00:31.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I knew that, 21 years before, just outside this holy city,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.13,0:00:33.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he broke my neck.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.36,0:00:37.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so, on an overcast morning in January, I headed north
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.62,0:00:42.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,off in a silver Chevy to find a man and some peace.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.32,0:00:45.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The road dropped and I exited Jerusalem.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.20,0:00:47.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I then rounded the very bend where his blue truck,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.84,0:00:50.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,heavy with four tons of floor tiles,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.16,0:00:52.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,had borne down with great speed onto the back left corner
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.98,0:00:56.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of the minibus where I sat.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.12,0:00:58.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was then 19 years old.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.77,0:01:02.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd grown five inches and done some 20,000 pushups
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.10,0:01:05.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in eight months, and the night before the crash,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.04,0:01:07.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I delighted in my new body,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:07.21,0:01:09.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,playing basketball with friends
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.35,0:01:11.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,into the wee hours of a May morning.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.46,0:01:14.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I palmed the ball in my large right hand,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.15,0:01:18.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when that hand reached the rim, I felt invincible.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.50,0:01:22.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was off in the bus to get the pizza I'd won on the court.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.34,0:01:24.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't see Abed coming.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.89,0:01:27.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,From my seat, I was looking up at a stone town
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.26,0:01:30.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on a hilltop, bright in the noontime sun,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.25,0:01:32.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when from behind there was a great bang,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.72,0:01:35.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as loud and violent as a bomb.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.64,0:01:38.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My head snapped back over my red seat.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.12,0:01:41.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My eardrum blew. My shoes flew off.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.20,0:01:44.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I flew too, my head bobbing on broken bones,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.46,0:01:48.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when I landed, I was a quadriplegic.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.67,0:01:51.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Over the coming months, I learned to breathe on my own,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.10,0:01:54.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then to sit and to stand and to walk,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.10,0:01:56.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but my body was now divided vertically.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.57,0:02:00.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was a hemiplegic, and back home in New York,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.03,0:02:04.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I used a wheelchair for four years, all through college.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.66,0:02:08.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,College ended and I returned to Jerusalem for a year.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.14,0:02:11.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There I rose from my chair for good,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.02,0:02:13.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I leaned on my cane, and I looked back,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.98,0:02:16.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,finding all from my fellow passengers in the bus
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.96,0:02:19.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to photographs of the crash,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.75,0:02:22.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when I saw this photograph,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.21,0:02:27.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't see a bloody and unmoving body.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.57,0:02:31.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I saw the healthy bulk of a left deltoid,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.32,0:02:33.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I mourned that it was lost,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.63,0:02:36.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mourned all I had not yet done,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.02,0:02:39.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but was now impossible.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.90,0:02:46.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was then I read the testimony that Abed gave
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.27,0:02:48.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the morning after the crash,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.49,0:02:52.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of driving down the right lane of a highway toward Jerusalem.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.37,0:02:55.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Reading his words, I welled with anger.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.33,0:02:58.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was the first time I'd felt anger toward this man,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.83,0:03:01.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it came from magical thinking.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.65,0:03:03.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,On this Xerox-ed piece of paper,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.77,0:03:07.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the crash had not yet happened.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.33,0:03:09.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Abed could still turn his wheel left
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.42,0:03:12.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so that I would see him whoosh by out my window
Dialogue: 0,0:03:12.80,0:03:15.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I would remain whole.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.24,0:03:19.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Be careful, Abed, look out. Slow down."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.10,0:03:21.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But Abed did not slow,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:21.41,0:03:25.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and on that Xerox-ed piece of paper, my neck again broke,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.22,0:03:29.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and again, I was left without anger.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.22,0:03:31.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I decided to find Abed,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.62,0:03:33.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when I finally did,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.36,0:03:36.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he responded to my Hebrew hello which such nonchalance,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:36.92,0:03:39.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it seemed he'd been awaiting my phone call.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:39.09,0:03:41.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And maybe he had.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.46,0:03:44.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't mention to Abed his prior driving record --
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.64,0:03:48.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,27 violations by the age of 25,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:48.42,0:03:53.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the last, his not shifting his truck into a low gear on that May day —
Dialogue: 0,0:03:53.11,0:03:55.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I didn't mention my prior record --
Dialogue: 0,0:03:55.20,0:03:56.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the quadriplegia and the catheters,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.91,0:03:59.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the insecurity and the loss —
Dialogue: 0,0:03:59.43,0:04:02.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when Abed went on about how hurt he was in the crash,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.12,0:04:04.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't say that I knew from the police report
Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.48,0:04:07.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that he'd escaped serious injury.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:07.19,0:04:10.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I said I wanted to meet.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:10.92,0:04:13.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Abed said that I should call back in a few weeks,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.56,0:04:16.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when I did, and a recording told me
Dialogue: 0,0:04:16.14,0:04:18.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that his number was disconnected,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:18.41,0:04:23.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I let Abed and the crash go.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:23.39,0:04:25.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Many years passed.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.62,0:04:29.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I walked with my cane and my ankle brace and a backpack
Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.89,0:04:32.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on trips in six continents.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.56,0:04:35.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I pitched overhand in a weekly softball game
Dialogue: 0,0:04:35.100,0:04:38.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I started in Central Park,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:38.22,0:04:41.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and home in New York, I became a journalist and an author,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.14,0:04:45.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,typing hundreds of thousands of words with one finger.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:45.22,0:04:47.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A friend pointed out to me that all of my big stories
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.73,0:04:50.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mirrored my own, each centering on a life
Dialogue: 0,0:04:50.62,0:04:52.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that had changed in an instant,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:52.98,0:04:55.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,owing, if not to a crash, then to an inheritance,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:55.80,0:04:58.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a swing of the bat, a click of the shutter, an arrest.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:58.44,0:05:02.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Each of us had a before and an after.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:02.41,0:05:05.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd been working through my lot after all.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:05.51,0:05:09.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Still, Abed was far from my mind, when last year,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:09.69,0:05:12.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I returned to Israel to write of the crash,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:12.48,0:05:15.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the book I then wrote, "Half-Life,"
Dialogue: 0,0:05:15.11,0:05:18.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was nearly complete when I recognized
Dialogue: 0,0:05:18.06,0:05:20.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I still wanted to meet Abed,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:20.49,0:05:23.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and finally I understood why:
Dialogue: 0,0:05:23.40,0:05:28.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to hear this man say two words: "I'm sorry."
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.73,0:05:31.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People apologize for less.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:31.65,0:05:34.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so I got a cop to confirm that Abed still lived
Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.46,0:05:36.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,somewhere in his same town,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:36.68,0:05:39.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I was now driving to it with a potted yellow rose in the back seat,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:39.75,0:05:43.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when suddenly flowers seemed a ridiculous offering.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:43.74,0:05:47.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But what to get the man who broke your fucking neck?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:47.12,0:05:51.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:51.20,0:05:53.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I pulled into the town of Abu Ghosh,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:53.35,0:05:55.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and bought a brick of Turkish delight:
Dialogue: 0,0:05:55.41,0:05:59.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pistachios glued in rosewater. Better.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:59.60,0:06:03.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Back on Highway 1, I envisioned what awaited.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:03.01,0:06:07.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Abed would hug me. Abed would spit at me.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:07.19,0:06:11.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Abed would say, "I'm sorry."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:11.39,0:06:14.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I then began to wonder, as I had many times before,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:14.42,0:06:15.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how my life would have been different
Dialogue: 0,0:06:15.66,0:06:17.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,had this man not injured me,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:17.06,0:06:20.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,had my genes been fed a different helping of experience.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:20.94,0:06:23.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Who was I?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:23.16,0:06:25.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Was I who I had been before the crash,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:25.97,0:06:30.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,before this road divided my life like the spine of an open book?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:30.03,0:06:32.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Was I what had been done to me?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:32.32,0:06:36.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Were all of us the results of things done to us, done for us,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:36.72,0:06:39.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the infidelity of a parent or spouse,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:39.06,0:06:41.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,money inherited?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:41.24,0:06:45.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Were we instead our bodies, their inborn endowments and deficits?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:45.38,0:06:48.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It seemed that we could be nothing more than genes and experience,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:48.34,0:06:51.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but how to tease out the one from the other?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:51.84,0:06:54.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As Yeats put that same universal question,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:54.68,0:06:57.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"O body swayed to music, o brightening glance,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:57.87,0:07:04.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how can we know the dancer from the dance?"
Dialogue: 0,0:07:04.19,0:07:06.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd been driving for an hour
Dialogue: 0,0:07:06.44,0:07:10.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when I looked in my rearview mirror and saw my own brightening glance.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:10.17,0:07:13.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The light my eyes had carried for as long as they had been blue.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:13.98,0:07:16.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The predispositions and impulses that had propelled me
Dialogue: 0,0:07:16.54,0:07:19.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as a toddler to try and slip over a boat into a Chicago lake,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:19.75,0:07:21.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that had propelled me as a teen
Dialogue: 0,0:07:21.39,0:07:25.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to jump into wild Cape Cod Bay after a hurricane.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:25.81,0:07:28.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I also saw in my reflection
Dialogue: 0,0:07:28.40,0:07:30.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that, had Abed not injured me,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:30.25,0:07:33.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would now, in all likelihood, be a doctor
Dialogue: 0,0:07:33.23,0:07:36.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and a husband and a father.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:36.76,0:07:39.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would be less mindful of time and of death,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:39.24,0:07:41.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and, oh, I would not be disabled,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:41.06,0:07:44.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would not suffer the thousand slings and arrows of my fortune.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:44.56,0:07:47.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The frequent furl of five fingers, the chips in my teeth
Dialogue: 0,0:07:47.22,0:07:49.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,come from biting at all the many things
Dialogue: 0,0:07:49.56,0:07:52.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a solitary hand cannot open.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:52.35,0:07:57.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The dancer and the dance were hopelessly entwined.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:57.78,0:07:59.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was approaching 11 when I exited right
Dialogue: 0,0:07:59.91,0:08:02.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,toward Afula, and passed a large quarry
Dialogue: 0,0:08:02.07,0:08:04.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and was soon in Kfar Kara.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:04.52,0:08:06.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I felt a pang of nerves.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:06.99,0:08:10.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But Chopin was on the radio, seven beautiful mazurkas,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:10.79,0:08:13.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I pulled into a lot by a gas station
Dialogue: 0,0:08:13.02,0:08:16.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to listen and to calm.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:16.36,0:08:18.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd been told that in an Arab town,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:18.59,0:08:20.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one need only mention the name of a local
Dialogue: 0,0:08:20.80,0:08:23.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it will be recognized.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:23.08,0:08:25.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I was mentioning Abed and myself,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:25.09,0:08:27.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,noting deliberately that I was here in peace,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:27.44,0:08:29.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to the people in this town,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:29.58,0:08:32.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when I met Mohamed outside a post office at noon.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:32.86,0:08:35.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He listened to me.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:35.31,0:08:38.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, it was most often when speaking to people
Dialogue: 0,0:08:38.13,0:08:42.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I wondered where I ended and my disability began,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:42.07,0:08:44.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for many people told me what they told no one else.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:44.95,0:08:47.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Many cried.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:47.25,0:08:49.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And one day, after a woman I met on the street did the same
Dialogue: 0,0:08:49.90,0:08:51.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I later asked her why,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:51.79,0:08:53.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she told me that, best she could tell, her tears
Dialogue: 0,0:08:53.77,0:08:57.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,had had something to do with my being happy and strong,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:57.04,0:08:59.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but vulnerable too.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:59.73,0:09:02.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I listened to her words. I suppose they were true.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:02.01,0:09:04.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was me,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:04.28,0:09:06.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I was now me despite a limp,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:06.43,0:09:10.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that, I suppose, was what now made me, me.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:10.59,0:09:12.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Anyway, Mohamed told me
Dialogue: 0,0:09:12.39,0:09:15.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what perhaps he would not have told another stranger.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:15.18,0:09:19.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He led me to a house of cream stucco, then drove off.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:19.29,0:09:21.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And as I sat contemplating what to say,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:21.98,0:09:25.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a woman approached in a black shawl and black robe.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:25.42,0:09:27.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I stepped from my car and said "Shalom,"
Dialogue: 0,0:09:27.80,0:09:29.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and identified myself,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:29.84,0:09:31.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and she told me that her husband Abed
Dialogue: 0,0:09:31.26,0:09:34.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would be home from work in four hours.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:34.12,0:09:36.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Her Hebrew was not good, and she later confessed
Dialogue: 0,0:09:36.63,0:09:39.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that she thought that I had come to install the Internet.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:39.77,0:09:43.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:09:43.50,0:09:46.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I drove off and returned at 4:30,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:46.52,0:09:47.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,thankful to the minaret up the road
Dialogue: 0,0:09:47.80,0:09:50.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that helped me find my way back.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:50.33,0:09:52.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And as I approached the front door,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:52.43,0:09:55.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Abed saw me, my jeans and flannel and cane,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:55.85,0:10:00.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I saw Abed, an average-looking man of average size.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:00.64,0:10:03.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He wore black and white: slippers over socks,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:03.66,0:10:05.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pilling sweatpants, a piebald sweater,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:05.76,0:10:09.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a striped ski cap pulled down to his forehead.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:09.07,0:10:11.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He'd been expecting me. Mohamed had phoned.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:11.57,0:10:15.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so at once, we shook hands, and smiled,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:15.85,0:10:17.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I gave him my gift,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:17.94,0:10:19.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he told me I was a guest in his home,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:19.33,0:10:22.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we sat beside one another on a fabric couch.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:22.74,0:10:25.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was then that Abed resumed at once
Dialogue: 0,0:10:25.50,0:10:27.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the tale of woe he had begun over the phone
Dialogue: 0,0:10:27.36,0:10:30.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,16 years before.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:30.32,0:10:33.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He'd just had surgery on his eyes, he said.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:33.63,0:10:35.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He had problems with his side and his legs too,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:35.83,0:10:38.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and, oh, he'd lost his teeth in the crash.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:38.37,0:10:41.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Did I wish to see him remove them?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:41.34,0:10:43.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Abed then rose and turned on the TV
Dialogue: 0,0:10:43.87,0:10:46.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so that I wouldn't be alone when he left the room,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:46.73,0:10:48.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and returned with polaroids of the crash
Dialogue: 0,0:10:48.97,0:10:51.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and his old driver's license.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:51.58,0:10:55.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I was handsome," he said.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:55.38,0:10:57.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We looked down at his laminated mug.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:57.56,0:11:00.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Abed had been less handsome than substantial,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:00.32,0:11:04.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with thick black hair and a full face and a wide neck.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:04.11,0:11:07.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was this youth who on May 16, 1990,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:07.05,0:11:09.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,had broken two necks including mine,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:09.20,0:11:13.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and bruised one brain and taken one life.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:13.14,0:11:15.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Twenty-one years later, he was now thinner than his wife,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:15.74,0:11:17.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,his skin slack on his face,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:17.49,0:11:20.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and looking at Abed looking at his young self,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:20.22,0:11:22.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I remembered looking at that photograph of my young self
Dialogue: 0,0:11:22.61,0:11:26.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,after the crash, and recognized his longing.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:26.93,0:11:31.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"The crash changed both of our lives," I said.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:31.05,0:11:33.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Abed then showed me a picture of his mashed truck,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:33.78,0:11:36.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and said that the crash was the fault of a bus driver
Dialogue: 0,0:11:36.36,0:11:39.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the left lane who did not let him pass.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:39.54,0:11:42.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I did not want to recap the crash with Abed.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:42.26,0:11:44.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd hoped for something simpler:
Dialogue: 0,0:11:44.03,0:11:48.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to exchange a Turkish dessert for two words and be on my way.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:48.83,0:11:51.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so I didn't point out that in his own testimony
Dialogue: 0,0:11:51.42,0:11:53.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the morning after the crash,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:53.47,0:11:55.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Abed did not even mention the bus driver.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:55.85,0:11:59.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, I was quiet. I was quiet because I had not come for truth.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:59.22,0:12:02.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had come for remorse.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:02.23,0:12:04.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so I now went looking for remorse
Dialogue: 0,0:12:04.38,0:12:06.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and threw truth under the bus.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:06.67,0:12:09.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I understand," I said, "that the crash was not your fault,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:09.79,0:12:14.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but does it make you sad that others suffered?"
Dialogue: 0,0:12:14.18,0:12:16.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Abed spoke three quick words.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:16.58,0:12:20.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Yes, I suffered."
Dialogue: 0,0:12:20.37,0:12:23.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Abed then told me why he'd suffered.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:23.30,0:12:26.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He'd lived an unholy life before the crash,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:26.44,0:12:28.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and so God had ordained the crash,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:28.77,0:12:32.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but now, he said, he was religious, and God was pleased.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:32.60,0:12:35.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was then that God intervened:
Dialogue: 0,0:12:35.74,0:12:38.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,news on the TV of a car wreck that hours before
Dialogue: 0,0:12:38.51,0:12:41.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,had killed three people up north.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:41.28,0:12:43.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We looked up at the wreckage.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:43.66,0:12:46.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Strange," I said.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:46.68,0:12:49.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Strange," he agreed.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:49.46,0:12:52.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had the thought that there, on Route 804,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:52.16,0:12:54.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there were perpetrators and victims,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:54.29,0:12:56.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,dyads bound by a crash.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:56.02,0:12:58.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some, as had Abed, would forget the date.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:58.48,0:13:01.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some, as had I, would remember.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:01.69,0:13:04.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The report finished and Abed spoke.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:04.82,0:13:07.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"It is a pity," he said, "that the police
Dialogue: 0,0:13:07.19,0:13:12.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in this country are not tough enough on bad drivers."
Dialogue: 0,0:13:12.09,0:13:15.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was baffled.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:15.11,0:13:17.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Abed had said something remarkable.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:17.89,0:13:21.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Did it point up the degree to which he'd absolved himself of the crash?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:21.36,0:13:23.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Was it evidence of guilt, an assertion
Dialogue: 0,0:13:23.26,0:13:25.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that he should have been put away longer?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:25.64,0:13:29.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He'd served six months in prison, lost his truck license for a decade.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:29.26,0:13:31.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I forgot my discretion.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:31.28,0:13:34.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Um, Abed," I said,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:34.73,0:13:38.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I thought you had a few driving issues before the crash."
Dialogue: 0,0:13:38.96,0:13:42.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Well," he said, "I once went 60 in a 40."
Dialogue: 0,0:13:42.92,0:13:46.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so 27 violations --
Dialogue: 0,0:13:46.32,0:13:49.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,driving through a red light, driving at excessive speed,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:49.02,0:13:51.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,driving on the wrong side of a barrier,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:51.01,0:13:53.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and finally, riding his brakes down that hill --
Dialogue: 0,0:13:53.05,0:13:55.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,reduced to one.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:55.50,0:13:58.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it was then I understood that no matter how stark the reality,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:58.99,0:14:02.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the human being fits it into a narrative that is palatable.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:02.11,0:14:06.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The goat becomes the hero. The perpetrator becomes the victim.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:06.02,0:14:12.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was then I understood that Abed would never apologize.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:12.73,0:14:16.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Abed and I sat with our coffee.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:16.02,0:14:18.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We'd spent 90 minutes together,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:18.82,0:14:21.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he was now known to me.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:21.18,0:14:23.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He was not a particularly bad man
Dialogue: 0,0:14:23.54,0:14:25.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or a particularly good man.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:25.88,0:14:28.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He was a limited man
Dialogue: 0,0:14:28.04,0:14:31.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who'd found it within himself to be kind to me.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:31.07,0:14:32.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,With a nod to Jewish custom,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:32.58,0:14:36.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he told me that I should live to be 120 years old.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:36.52,0:14:38.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it was hard for me to relate to one who had
Dialogue: 0,0:14:38.34,0:14:41.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so completely washed his hands of his own calamitous doing,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:41.64,0:14:46.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to one whose life was so unexamined that he said
Dialogue: 0,0:14:46.01,0:14:50.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he thought two people had died in the crash.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:53.01,0:14:56.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There was much I wished to say to Abed.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:56.64,0:15:00.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wished to tell him that, were he to acknowledge my disability,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:00.34,0:15:02.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it would be okay,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:02.52,0:15:04.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for people are wrong to marvel
Dialogue: 0,0:15:04.31,0:15:07.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at those like me who smile as we limp.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:07.56,0:15:11.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People don't know that they have lived through worse,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:11.49,0:15:15.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that problems of the heart hit with a force greater than a runaway truck,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:15.15,0:15:17.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that problems of the mind are greater still,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:17.50,0:15:21.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,more injurious, than a hundred broken necks.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:21.68,0:15:24.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wished to tell him that what makes most of us who we are
Dialogue: 0,0:15:24.53,0:15:26.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,most of all
Dialogue: 0,0:15:26.03,0:15:28.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is not our minds and not our bodies
Dialogue: 0,0:15:28.46,0:15:30.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and not what happens to us,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:30.27,0:15:33.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but how we respond to what happens to us.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:33.14,0:15:35.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"This," wrote the psychiatrist Viktor Frankl,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:35.71,0:15:37.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"is the last of the human freedoms:
Dialogue: 0,0:15:37.53,0:15:42.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances."
Dialogue: 0,0:15:42.43,0:15:45.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wished to tell him that not only paralyzers
Dialogue: 0,0:15:45.25,0:15:49.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and paralyzees must evolve, reconcile to reality,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:49.12,0:15:51.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but we all must --
Dialogue: 0,0:15:51.10,0:15:55.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the aging and the anxious and the divorced and the balding
Dialogue: 0,0:15:55.99,0:15:59.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the bankrupt and everyone.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:59.83,0:16:02.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wished to tell him that one does not have to say
Dialogue: 0,0:16:02.44,0:16:04.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that a bad thing is good,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:04.45,0:16:07.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that a crash is from God and so a crash is good,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:07.00,0:16:08.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a broken neck is good.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:08.69,0:16:11.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One can say that a bad thing sucks,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:11.95,0:16:16.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but that this natural world still has many glories.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:16.08,0:16:21.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wished to tell him that, in the end, our mandate is clear:
Dialogue: 0,0:16:21.10,0:16:24.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have to rise above bad fortune.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:24.33,0:16:27.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have to be in the good and enjoy the good,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:27.35,0:16:33.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,study and work and adventure and friendship -- oh, friendship --
Dialogue: 0,0:16:33.24,0:16:37.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and community and love.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:37.01,0:16:39.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But most of all, I wished to tell him
Dialogue: 0,0:16:39.77,0:16:42.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what Herman Melville wrote,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:42.14,0:16:45.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that "truly to enjoy bodily warmth,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:45.06,0:16:48.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,some small part of you must be cold,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:48.12,0:16:50.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for there is no quality in this world
Dialogue: 0,0:16:50.42,0:16:53.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that is not what it is merely by contrast."
Dialogue: 0,0:16:53.71,0:16:56.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, contrast.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:56.16,0:16:58.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you are mindful of what you do not have,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:58.49,0:17:01.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you may be truly mindful of what you do have,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:01.72,0:17:05.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and if the gods are kind, you may truly enjoy what you have.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:05.62,0:17:08.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That is the one singular gift you may receive
Dialogue: 0,0:17:08.04,0:17:11.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you suffer in any existential way.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:11.02,0:17:13.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know death, and so may wake each morning
Dialogue: 0,0:17:13.34,0:17:15.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pulsing with ready life.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:15.38,0:17:16.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some part of you is cold,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:16.97,0:17:20.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and so another part may truly enjoy what it is to be warm,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:20.47,0:17:23.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or even to be cold.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:23.39,0:17:25.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When one morning, years after the crash,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:25.42,0:17:28.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I stepped onto stone and the underside of my left foot
Dialogue: 0,0:17:28.20,0:17:31.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,felt the flash of cold, nerves at last awake,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:31.66,0:17:36.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it was exhilarating, a gust of snow.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:36.95,0:17:40.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I didn't say these things to Abed.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:40.18,0:17:44.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I told him only that he had killed one man, not two.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:44.98,0:17:49.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I told him the name of that man.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:49.46,0:17:53.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then I said, "Goodbye."
Dialogue: 0,0:17:53.27,0:17:55.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:55.19,0:18:01.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:18:01.92,0:18:04.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thanks a lot.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:04.66,0:18:08.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)