WEBVTT

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Badda-boom, badda-bing!

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(coughing) Yo, welcome to my studio--

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Welcome to my stud--(coughing)

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Welcome to my studio, M.R. Dizzle.

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(beat boxing) I don't know why the Bad Boys II suddenly came up.

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Welcome to--what's the name of this video?

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Welcome to Skitzo News Live.

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(lisping) How to be a Rap Star.

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Welcome to How to be a Rapper.

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(lisping) How to be a Rap Star.

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Day one. We're about to shoot the FIRST scene of the day,

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and I am really proud that I can do that,

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'cause my nose is kinda cloggy.

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I need some WD40 on this bad boy.

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(chair squeaks)

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Every vlog, I have to vlog like this,

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because as soon as I go with this and move back a little bit,

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it's like...(chair creaks loudly)

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- Hey guys!
- (laughter off screen)

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- (chair creaks loudly)
- (laughter off screen)

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Dude! Squeakiest chair, the worst chair for vlogging,

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and I still use this one. I don't know why.

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- (rap music)
- Yo! Yo! Welcome to the show.

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(rap music)

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As you know, yo...

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By the time you finish watching this video, ya'll gonna know how to--

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By the time we finish--

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If you don't already know, my name is R Dizzle. Welcome to the show.

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(rap music)

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All you have to do is pick something simple and...

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All you have to do is remember what we covered so far.

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That was squeaky.

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That you know? You know?

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That you know, yo.

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That you know, yo, toe, moe, coe, low, throw...[inaudible]

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Yo, welcome--

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First, how to write your rap.

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Out of all the lessons we've said so far.

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(rap music)

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I wrote this song today and also recorded it today,

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so it sounds like...

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<i>I wrote a rap song (yeah!)</i>

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One hour. Actually, about an hour and a half.

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Two Hour Productions. That's my company name.

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<i>Check check, get your check book out</i>

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<i>Write it all down for the right amount!</i>

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<i>Wrap it in an envelope, spit to seal</i>

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<i>And you're on track for a rap record deal</i>

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<i>Rap record deal (yeah!)</i>

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<i>Rap record deal</i>

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<i>Buy your lyrics from a writer</i>

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<i>Rap record deal</i>

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<i>Rap record deal</i>

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<i>Imma rap record deal</i>

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(yelling)

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Yo, whassup?

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I'm trying to figure out how to turn off the waterfall.

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(man off screen) Off!

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(man groaning off screen)

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How are you...?

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- You're Lucy.
- (man off screen) I'm Luc.

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Ugh, I'm still sick.

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My head's under water, but I'm feeling fine.

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I almost [inaudible] slid just now.

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Hey, look at that.

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Weiner.

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- Get it?
- (Ryan) No. What is it?

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Are you saying hot dogs or are you--are you making hot dogs?

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(off screen) Where do you want these?

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(man off screen) Um, I'll probably put them right here.

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- (man #1) Dude, it's so cold today. It's below nine.
- Alright, how do we film Craig? How do we do this?

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It's 109 degrees in Vegas right now? That is so cool.

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For real, this is a cool day.

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Buy your lyrics from a writer. Rap record deal.

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Cut!

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- Hot!
- (laughter)

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Ooh, you missed it. You just missed it, dude.

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(rock music)

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Ow, I ran into the wall.

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Wait. Wait.

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Come on!

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Come on, you guys.

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Just be honest.

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- D2B!
- D2B!

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Man, a luv that girl twerkin' on the dance flo'

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One more. Action!

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Work out.

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Cut! Okay.

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- Okay! Cut!
- Don't skip leg day!

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One more...action.

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One more...action. (laughter)

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Are we going to keep going until [inaudible].

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One more. One more. (laughter)

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[inaudible] You know me.

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[inaudible] Oooh, yeah.

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[inaudible]

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(laughter)

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I [inaudible]

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[inaudible]

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I just don't know the words.

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[inaudible]

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Let me see you drip sweat.

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(laughter)

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I'm trying to get the glasses to go like this.

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Just [start it] at the bottom of the stairs.

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Still at the bottom 'cause there's too many stairs

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[inaudible]

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Damn it, Craig!

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(laughter) I don't know, dude.

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[inaudible]

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(rap music)

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(coughing)

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Let's go 'cause it doesn't really matter what I say

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Cause you [inaudible]

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Sold to the man in the black in the back [inaudible]

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That's a wrap!

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(applause)

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Freestyle...uh! Right now we are wrapped.

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Pretty soon I gotta take a crap.

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But I'm not gonna do that...quite yet.

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Yet, yet, yet.

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- We should all do two bars.
- Okay.

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Here we go.

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Right now we are wrapped.

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And that's it.

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(off screen) The game's over.

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(laughter)

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Right now we are wrapped.

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And I'm wearin' black.

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Gotta take a crap.

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And I really wanna snap.

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And I really like cats.

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Feelin' like a cat nap.

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(beeping)

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We are done.

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There isn't no more sun.

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We're on the second floor.

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It's time to see more.

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But...

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We're not gonna use that

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'cause that wasn't good.

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[inaudible]