Badda-boom, badda-bing!
(coughing) Yo, welcome to my studio--
Welcome to my stud--(coughing)
Welcome to my studio, M.R. Dizzle.
(beat boxing) I don't know why the Bad Boys II suddenly came up.
Welcome to--what's the name of this video?
Welcome to Skitzo News Live.
(lisping) How to be a Rap Star.
Welcome to How to be a Rapper.
(lisping) How to be a Rap Star.
Day one. We're about to shoot the FIRST scene of the day,
and I am really proud that I can do that,
'cause my nose is kinda cloggy.
I need some WD40 on this bad boy.
(chair squeaks)
Every vlog, I have to vlog like this,
because as soon as I go with this and move back a little bit,
it's like...(chair creaks loudly)
- Hey guys! - (laughter off screen)
- (chair creaks loudly) - (laughter off screen)
Dude! Squeakiest chair, the worst chair for vlogging,
and I still use this one. I don't know why.
- (rap music) - Yo! Yo! Welcome to the show.
(rap music)
As you know, yo...
By the time you finish watching this video, ya'll gonna know how to--
By the time we finish--
If you don't already know, my name is R Dizzle. Welcome to the show.
(rap music)
All you have to do is pick something simple and...
All you have to do is remember what we covered so far.
That was squeaky.
That you know? You know?
That you know, yo.
That you know, yo, toe, moe, coe, low, throw...[inaudible]
Yo, welcome--
First, how to write your rap.
Out of all the lessons we've said so far.
(rap music)
I wrote this song today and also recorded it today,
so it sounds like...
I wrote a rap song (yeah!)
One hour. Actually, about an hour and a half.
Two Hour Productions. That's my company name.
Check check, get your check book out
Write it all down for the right amount!
Wrap it in an envelope, spit to seal
And you're on track for a rap record deal
Rap record deal (yeah!)
Rap record deal
Buy your lyrics from a writer
Rap record deal
Imma rap record deal
(yelling)
Yo, whassup?
I'm trying to figure out how to turn off the waterfall.
(man off screen) Off!
(man groaning off screen)
How are you...?
- You're Lucy. - (man off screen) I'm Luc.
Ugh, I'm still sick.
My head's under water, but I'm feeling fine.
I almost [inaudible] slid just now.
Hey, look at that.
Weiner.
- Get it? - (Ryan) No. What is it?
Are you saying hot dogs or are you--are you making hot dogs?
(off screen) Where do you want these?
(man off screen) Um, I'll probably put them right here.
- (man #1) Dude, it's so cold today. It's below nine. - Alright, how do we film Craig? How do we do this?
It's 109 degrees in Vegas right now? That is so cool.
For real, this is a cool day.
Buy your lyrics from a writer. Rap record deal.
Cut!
- Hot! - (laughter)
Ooh, you missed it. You just missed it, dude.
(rock music)
Ow, I ran into the wall.
Wait. Wait.
Come on!
Come on, you guys.
Just be honest.
- D2B! - D2B!
Man, a luv that girl twerkin' on the dance flo'
One more. Action!
Work out.
Cut! Okay.
- Okay! Cut! - Don't skip leg day!
One more...action.
One more...action. (laughter)
Are we going to keep going until [inaudible].
One more. One more. (laughter)
[inaudible] You know me.
[inaudible] Oooh, yeah.
[inaudible]
(laughter)
I [inaudible]
[inaudible]
I just don't know the words.
[inaudible]
Let me see you drip sweat.
(laughter)
I'm trying to get the glasses to go like this.
Just [start it] at the bottom of the stairs.
Still at the bottom 'cause there's too many stairs
[inaudible]
Damn it, Craig!
(laughter) I don't know, dude.
[inaudible]
(rap music)
(coughing)
Let's go 'cause it doesn't really matter what I say
Cause you [inaudible]
Sold to the man in the black in the back [inaudible]
That's a wrap!
(applause)
Freestyle...uh! Right now we are wrapped.
Pretty soon I gotta take a crap.
But I'm not gonna do that...quite yet.
Yet, yet, yet.
- We should all do two bars. - Okay.
Here we go.
Right now we are wrapped.
And that's it.
(off screen) The game's over.
(laughter)
Right now we are wrapped.
And I'm wearin' black.
Gotta take a crap.
And I really wanna snap.
And I really like cats.
Feelin' like a cat nap.
(beeping)
We are done.
There isn't no more sun.
We're on the second floor.
It's time to see more.
But...
We're not gonna use that
'cause that wasn't good.
[inaudible]