[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.37,0:00:05.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Please do not edit these "English" subtitles, and do not translate them into other languages. \NDue to a glitch explained in the comments to the main page, the complete English subs are in the "English, British" subtitle track: please use that for translations.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.90,0:00:36.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The American dream
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.08,0:00:39.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a reason that they called it a dream
Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.96,0:00:40.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ah!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.79,0:00:41.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Who's there?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.12,0:00:43.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cock-a-doddle-do pal
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.93,0:00:45.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}knocking{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.90,0:00:50.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No no no no no
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.71,0:00:52.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't have any more money.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.81,0:00:55.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My job sucks right now, please!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.22,0:00:57.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll have more money next month.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.95,0:01:00.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can't take my house!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.60,0:01:02.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is that your signature?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.12,0:01:07.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oookay well just help me work something out, okay?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:07.21,0:01:08.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean you said I'm a good credit guy right?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.58,0:01:10.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean...hey, wait!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.63,0:01:11.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My dog is in there!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.94,0:01:14.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nooo, don't take my dream!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.70,0:01:17.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}sobbing{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.38,0:01:20.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, how did this happen?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.96,0:01:24.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}BOOM{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.96,0:01:25.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Huh?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.88,0:01:30.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hardman? Is that you?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.24,0:01:32.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Been a long time since the fourth grade.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.90,0:01:43.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is that a time machine?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.28,0:01:45.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's no need to concern yourself
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.11,0:01:46.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with my stand accomplishments.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.55,0:01:47.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Best get in.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.02,0:01:49.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's not much time.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.43,0:01:50.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}crying{\i0} I gotta go down to the bank
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.97,0:01:52.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to get my life back.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.15,0:01:53.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They took everything!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.96,0:01:56.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ooh! Bank ain't gonna help you now.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.90,0:01:58.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Towel in the trunk.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.41,0:01:59.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Extra set of balls.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.39,0:02:00.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Put 'em on, you're gonna need 'em.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.60,0:02:02.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}crying{\i0} you're gonna get my dream back?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.28,0:02:05.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, pal. You are. I'm here to show you how.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.16,0:02:07.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}ZOOM{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.51,0:02:10.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}"The Twilight Zone" theme music{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.93,0:02:14.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Submitted for your approval,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.40,0:02:16.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one First National Bank.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.35,0:02:17.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What is a bank, you ask?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.09,0:02:18.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A curious place
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.92,0:02:21.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where both space, time, and irony exist.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.02,0:02:22.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And yet...
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.22,0:02:23.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.68,0:02:25.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Uh, are you gonna be doin' that the
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.19,0:02:25.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whole time?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.96,0:02:27.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pay attention, pal.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.58,0:02:28.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Exhibit A:
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.31,0:02:30.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Those who have come to deposit and safely
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.91,0:02:31.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,store their earned monies.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.65,0:02:33.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Exhibit B:
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.71,0:02:35.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Those who need to borrow said money
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.91,0:02:37.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for purposes...unknown.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.99,0:02:38.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hey!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.81,0:02:39.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's me!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.67,0:02:41.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ergo, exhibit C.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.96,0:02:43.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The bank only has so much money
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.67,0:02:44.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the vault to lend out.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.28,0:02:45.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To people
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.16,0:02:46.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,such as you.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:47.67,0:02:48.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hey!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.27,0:02:49.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hey that's the guy!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.28,0:02:50.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He took my house!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.42,0:02:52.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Really screwin' my vibe here, pal.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.58,0:02:54.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Space-time continuum, he can't hear you.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.76,0:02:56.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just let me narrate.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.47,0:02:57.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, where was I? {\i1}clears throat{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.10,0:02:58.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you see,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.13,0:03:00.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by the time he got to you, pal,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.04,0:03:02.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,His bank was out of money
Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.62,0:03:03.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But
Dialogue: 0,0:03:04.37,0:03:05.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he gave me lots of money
Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.53,0:03:07.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and charged me a lot of interest.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.54,0:03:08.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.24,0:03:10.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's the only way banks make money.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.29,0:03:11.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,By making debt loans.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:11.60,0:03:13.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}gun cocks{\i0} Debt equals money, pal.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.77,0:03:14.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Remember that.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.77,0:03:16.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Debt equals money.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:16.28,0:03:18.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The more loans they make, the more money they make.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.19,0:03:20.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But if they don't have any money,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.61,0:03:22.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then where did my money come from?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.57,0:03:24.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}beeping{\i0} You're gonna wanna take a step back, pal.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.67,0:03:28.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Woah!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.15,0:03:30.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No way!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.42,0:03:31.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes way.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.30,0:03:32.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's nothing.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.75,0:03:35.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hey buddy, need some money?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.46,0:03:39.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They didn't do that!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:39.69,0:03:41.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Aw, they did exactly that, pal.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.93,0:03:44.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Remember, banks make money by making loans,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.31,0:03:46.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by selling debt, even to
Dialogue: 0,0:03:47.16,0:03:49.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,...bad credit risks.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.20,0:03:51.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}hip hop music{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.82,0:03:54.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yo, have some money, dude.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.28,0:03:55.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just sign here.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:55.93,0:03:57.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh my gosh!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:57.22,0:03:59.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mm-hm, they called it "free money".
Dialogue: 0,0:03:59.38,0:04:02.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, that's exactly what my loan guy told me,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.06,0:04:03.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,free money!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.32,0:04:04.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it ain't free,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.72,0:04:06.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The worst part was offering money
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.17,0:04:07.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to people who don't even need it.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:07.76,0:04:09.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People, pal, like you.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:10.49,0:04:11.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}horn honking{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:04:12.15,0:04:12.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You were right,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.03,0:04:14.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't need him
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.43,0:04:15.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was happy here,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.84,0:04:17.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't need it!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:24.31,0:04:26.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why's he sad? He's makin' all that money.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:26.99,0:04:29.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Shhhhh...he's thinkin'.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:31.67,0:04:33.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now wait fo it...
Dialogue: 0,0:04:33.85,0:04:35.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now wait for it...
Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.51,0:04:37.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bingo.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:37.99,0:04:40.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See the bank has loaned to everyone in town,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.44,0:04:42.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but to make more money they have
Dialogue: 0,0:04:42.09,0:04:43.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to loan even more.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:43.98,0:04:44.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,More?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.90,0:04:46.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How much money do they need?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:46.52,0:04:48.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,More.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.82,0:04:50.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}ominous music{\i0} Waah? What's that?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:50.37,0:04:52.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh ho, a black horse ridin'...
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.40,0:04:59.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,credit cards.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:12.30,0:05:13.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wow! Look,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:13.55,0:05:15.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean it's gonna be okay.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:15.04,0:05:16.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everything's gonna be okay.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.98,0:05:17.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What now?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:17.90,0:05:18.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now?