WEBVTT

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(Alarm clock buzzing)

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(thump)

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(Car unlock beep)

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[Alex]: So I won the car!

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I mean like, 
I didn't really believe it at first,

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but um, things have been
going pretty great.

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I had all this money saved up

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that I was going to buy myself a car.

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Instead, I bought my butler, 
Sir Dude, here,

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and he keeps me very nice.

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(High pitch whimsical singing)

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(Crowd cheering)

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(Door opening, papers ruffling)

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(Girls gasping and swooning)

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[Alex]: Thank you, my good sir.

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[Teacher]: Alex, I finally finished your report card.

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[Alex]: Straight A's.

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(Crowd cheering) (Whimsical music)

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(Alex: yelling indistinctly)

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(football players shouting indistinctly)

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(All: yelling indistinctly)

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(making pretend gun noises, laughter)

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[Alex]: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

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That's the way we do it! And it's alright!

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(All: cheering, shouting indistinctly)

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[Alex, shouting]: Further!

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(sounds of paintball gun firing)

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[Alex]: I got this for free too!

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[Alex]: I'm signing up today definitely. 
Uh...no questions...about it...

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[Teacher]: What are you doing?

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[Alex]: I was just checking out 
that before class...

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[Teacher]: Get in class. 
You're failing already. Come on.

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[Alex]: An F?

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[Teacher]: F minus

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[Alex]: Wait, cause if it was the
test last year, then that's the...

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(speech fades out) (Whimsical music)

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[Alex, screaming]: Woo, yeah, brother! 
Yeah!

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(Camera man): Oh!

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[Alex]: Oh! I'm okay, I'm okay!

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(camera man laughing)