(Alarm clock buzzing)

(thump)

(Car unlock beep)

[Alex]: So I won the car!

I mean like, 
I didn't really believe it at first,

but um, things have been
going pretty great.

I had all this money saved up

that I was going to buy myself a car.

Instead, I bought my butler, 
Sir Dude, here,

and he keeps me very nice.

(High pitch whimsical singing)

(Crowd cheering)

(Door opening, papers ruffling)

(Girls gasping and swooning)

[Alex]: Thank you, my good sir.

[Teacher]: Alex, I finally finished your report card.

[Alex]: Straight A's.

(Crowd cheering) (Whimsical music)

(Alex: yelling indistinctly)

(football players shouting indistinctly)

(All: yelling indistinctly)

(making pretend gun noises, laughter)

[Alex]: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

That's the way we do it! And it's alright!

(All: cheering, shouting indistinctly)

[Alex, shouting]: Further!

(sounds of paintball gun firing)

[Alex]: I got this for free too!

[Alex]: I'm signing up today definitely. 
Uh...no questions...about it...

[Teacher]: What are you doing?

[Alex]: I was just checking out 
that before class...

[Teacher]: Get in class. 
You're failing already. Come on.

[Alex]: An F?

[Teacher]: F minus

[Alex]: Wait, cause if it was the
test last year, then that's the...

(speech fades out) (Whimsical music)

[Alex, screaming]: Woo, yeah, brother! 
Yeah!

(Camera man): Oh!

[Alex]: Oh! I'm okay, I'm okay!

(camera man laughing)