[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.03,0:00:00.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Beep]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:01.43,0:00:02.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Beep]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:03.10,0:00:03.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Beep]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:04.06,0:00:04.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Beep]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:05.16,0:00:05.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Beep]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:06.02,0:00:07.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Beep]\N(Offscreen) Justin Bieber
Dialogue: 0,0:00:07.37,0:00:07.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Clapperboard]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.19,0:00:11.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ Oooooh yeah! ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.28,0:00:12.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Offscreen) Justin, there's no singing
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.60,0:00:14.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[inaudible] to be singing!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.24,0:00:15.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Offscreen) Justin...
Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.42,0:00:16.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Can I be Gandalf?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.36,0:00:22.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Be on your guard. There are older\Nand fouler things than Orcs
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.32,0:00:24.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in deep places of the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.06,0:00:28.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.35,0:00:31.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These beards are itchy! ...Oopsie!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.41,0:00:32.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Beep]\N(Offscreen) Ace Ventura\N[Clapperboard]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.76,0:00:34.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Quick, Mister Frodo! Hand me the ring!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.05,0:00:35.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Quick!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.70,0:00:37.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thou shall not pass!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.10,0:00:38.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mister Frodo!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.07,0:00:40.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My precious...
Dialogue: 0,0:00:41.51,0:00:42.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Quick! The ring!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.22,0:00:44.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Toss him into the volcano!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.69,0:00:46.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Beep]\N(Offscreen) Leonardo DiCaprio\N[Clapperboard]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.08,0:00:49.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm a federal marshal
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.38,0:00:51.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- [inaudible]\N- (Offscreen) Actually, you're not \Na federal marshal
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.95,0:00:54.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Offscreen) You're reading for Gandalf.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.97,0:00:56.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, I thought I'm Gollum.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.56,0:01:02.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Orcs ... are coming ... for you ... Frodo
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.42,0:01:03.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Beep]\N[inaudible drunken noises]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.30,0:01:07.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[paper rustling]\N[inaudible drunken noise]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.21,0:01:09.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thou shalt not pass!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.82,0:01:12.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Beep]\NYo, what's up, I'm the Lord... of the Rings
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.89,0:01:14.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Offscreen) Did you read the script?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.37,0:01:17.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't know there was a script. \NI thought this was for a video game.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.92,0:01:20.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is Knoxville in this too?\NGary's so cool.\N
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.58,0:01:23.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Lord of the Jackass!\NJackass of the Rings!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.32,0:01:24.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Beep]\N
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.79,0:01:26.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Remind me what this movie is\Nabout again?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.10,0:01:29.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Offscreen) You're returning a ring \Nto a volcano
Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.81,0:01:30.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wooooaaah!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.82,0:01:33.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Am I a wizard or something like that?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.19,0:01:34.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Offscreen) You're playing the part of Sam
Dialogue: 0,0:01:34.58,0:01:38.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sam, OK. Is Sam, what, a wizard too?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.16,0:01:39.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Offscreen) Sam's a hobbit.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.33,0:01:43.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, wooaah! What's a... that's awesome!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.82,0:01:47.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I really feel like I could actually be\Nlike the wizard guy.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.85,0:01:51.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like, I was just a [inaudible] \Non this movie, so...
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.31,0:01:53.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thou shall not pass!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.11,0:01:56.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Beep]\NThis Friday anybody can pass by me
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.38,0:01:57.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Beep]\N(Offscreen) Ben Affleck\N[Clapperboard]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.96,0:01:59.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know you guys want to pass, but
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.20,0:02:04.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can't. 'Cause you guys pass\Nthrough here. I'm sorry.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.18,0:02:07.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You want to go through here?\NI can't let you do that.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.25,0:02:10.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Beep]\N[Clapping]
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.55,0:02:11.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Beep]\N(Offscreen) Harry Potter \N[Clapperboard]
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.56,0:02:13.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm a wizard, aren't I?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.40,0:02:18.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Offscreen) Yeah, but not the same kind. \NThere's no spells in this movie.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.58,0:02:20.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's gonna be spells!\NStupefy!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:20.98,0:02:28.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ I can be your hero baby ♪\N♪ [Forever?] ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.90,0:02:30.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Offscreen) Do you have your lines?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.52,0:02:32.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[inaudible]
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.21,0:02:41.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Aruman! Morador! Gandalf! Legolath!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.33,0:02:42.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Beep]\NOh, is this right, someone in this
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.52,0:02:44.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,movie's called Pippin?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:44.28,0:02:49.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mister Frodo, I made a promise to you\Nand I'm going to keep it.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.56,0:02:50.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pippin?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.87,0:02:51.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How's it looking?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.97,0:02:55.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Evillest day in Mordor... Ooops1
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.78,0:02:56.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know...
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.08,0:02:59.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Belches] Ooooooh!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.80,0:03:00.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Beep]
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.46,0:03:02.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Offscreen) This is an audition for \NLord of the Rings, so...
Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.62,0:03:05.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Mad Hatter laughs]
Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.06,0:03:06.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Ace Ventura's bottom 'laughs']
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.24,0:03:08.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is my precious
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.48,0:03:11.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What's this supposed to be for again?