1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:11,000 (音乐)♫ 2 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:46,000 (梵文) 3 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,000 有一首关于印度神母的颂歌, 4 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:55,000 是我们大部分的印度人从小就学习的。 5 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:00,000 在我四岁的时候也学习了这首歌 6 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:03,000 坐在我母亲的膝头上。 7 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:08,000 也正是那一年,她引导我进入舞蹈的殿堂。 8 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,000 而这一开端 9 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:13,000 正是我与印度古典舞幽会的伊始。 10 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:16,000 从那时开始,到现在已经40年了—— 11 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,000 我师从这一行最优秀的舞者, 12 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,000 在世界各地演出, 13 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:24,000 教导年轻的和年老的舞蹈爱好者, 14 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,000 创造,合作, 15 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,000 编舞, 16 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:30,000 我编织了一个绚丽的挂毯, 17 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:33,000 用我的艺术,成就,和奖章。 18 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:37,000 2007年我获得了至高无上的荣誉, 19 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,000 那一年 我得到了印度 20 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:41,000 授予公民的第四高荣誉,莲花奖(Padma Shri) 21 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,000 作为我对艺术贡献的回报 22 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:46,000 (观众鼓掌) 23 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:50,000 但是 任何事都不足以让我有心理准备 24 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:53,000 去面对我将要得知的 25 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:56,000 在2008年的7月1号 26 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:59,000 我得知了一个词“恶性肿瘤” 27 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:02,000 是的,乳腺癌 28 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:05,000 我坐在医生的办公室里,呆若木鸡 29 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,000 我听到了另外一些词 30 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:12,000 “癌症”,“期”,“恶性程度” 31 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:14,000 那时之前,癌(Cancer)是十二宫中的巨蟹座。 32 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,000 是我朋友的星座 33 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:19,000 “期”(Stage)是我表演的舞台, 34 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:22,000 “恶性程度”(Grade)是我在学校得到的成绩 35 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,000 那一天,我意识到 36 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:29,000 我有一个不受欢迎的,不请自来的, 37 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:32,000 新终生伴侣 38 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:34,000 作为一个舞者 39 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:37,000 我知道九情操(印度古典舞蹈中通过肢体或表情表达不同情绪的方式) 40 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,000 愤怒,勇敢, 41 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,000 厌恶,诙谐 42 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,000 与恐怖 43 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,000 我以为我知道什么是恐惧 44 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:48,000 那一天,我学会了什么是恐惧 45 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:52,000 经历所有的巨痛 46 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:54,000 并彻底感到失去控制 47 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,000 我流了很多泪水 48 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:59,000 问我亲爱的丈夫,Jayant 49 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:02,000 我说,“结束了么?这就是我生命之路的尽头么?” 50 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:05,000 这就是我舞蹈的终结么? 51 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:08,000 然而他,这个乐观的灵魂 52 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:11,000 说,“不,这只是一个间隙 53 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,000 治疗的间隙 54 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:16,000 而且你将回来做你擅长的事 55 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:19,000 当时我醒悟到 56 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:22,000 我认为自己完全控制了自己的人生 57 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:25,000 但我仅仅控制了3件事 58 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:28,000 我的思想,我的情绪—— 59 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,000 这些思想所创造的想象 60 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:33,000 和由这些想象所引起的行动 61 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,000 所以现在我沉迷于 62 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,000 一种情绪的漩涡中 63 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,000 沮丧,和那些令你 64 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:42,000 感到情况的严酷的思绪 65 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:45,000 我想得到痊愈,健康和幸福 66 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,000 我想从现在的我 67 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,000 到达我想到的彼方 68 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:53,000 为了达到这一目标 69 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:56,000 我需要有一股可以把我从痛苦中拉出来的力量 70 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,000 所以 我擦干泪水 71 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:01,000 然后 我向世界宣告 72 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:04,000 我说,癌症只是我生命中的一页 73 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:07,000 我不会让这一页去影响我其余的人生 74 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:10,000 我还向世界宣告 75 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,000 我将度过难关 76 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,000 我不会允许癌症将我打倒 77 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:16,000 但是 要从我的现状 78 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,000 到达我的期望 79 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,000 我需要一些东西 80 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,000 我需要一个依靠,一种意象 81 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,000 一个标杆 82 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:26,000 钉在这一过程的起始 83 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:29,000 然后我可以从那里开始 84 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:32,000 然后 我从舞蹈中发现了它 85 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,000 我的舞蹈,我的力量,我的能量,我的热情 86 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,000 我生命的气息 87 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,000 但这并不容易 88 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:43,000 相信我,这绝不容易 89 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:45,000 你怎能保持振奋 90 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,000 在你的外型从美丽 91 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:50,000 在三天之内变成秃字 92 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:53,000 你怎能不绝望 93 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:56,000 在你的身体对化疗产生不良反应时 94 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:59,000 爬几节楼梯都像攀登险峰 95 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:02,000 对于我这样一个能连续跳3个小时的舞者? 96 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,000 你怎能不彷徨失措 97 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:09,000 因为痛苦和绝望 98 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:12,000 我想做的只有蜷缩起来哭泣 99 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,000 但是我一直告诉我自己 畏缩和哭泣 100 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:17,000 都不是我将要做的选择 101 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:20,000 所以我强拉自己到我的舞蹈室 102 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:23,000 我的身体,思想,和灵魂,每天都在我的舞蹈室 103 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:25,000 学习我曾经学习过的所有东西 104 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,000 就好像我又回到四岁 105 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:30,000 从新工作,从头学习,从新组织 106 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:33,000 这一过程非常痛苦,但是我完成了 107 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,000 困难 108 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:39,000 我专注于我的身印手印 109 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,000 专注于我舞蹈的意境 110 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,000 专注于韵律和意象 111 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:45,000 和舞蹈的哲学本身 112 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,000 然后 缓慢的 我脱离了 113 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:50,000 我心中的悲惨境遇 114 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,000 但是 我需要另外一些东西 115 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:56,000 我需要增加我的旅程 116 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,000 我在意象中找到了它 117 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:01,000 那是从我四岁就学起的 118 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:04,000 湿婆神的意象 119 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,000 杜尔迦女神 120 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:09,000 杜尔迦女神 无畏的神母 121 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:12,000 由印度诸神所创造 122 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:15,000 杜尔迦女神 辉煌 雍容 美丽 123 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,000 她的十八支手臂 124 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,000 随时准备战斗 125 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:23,000 她乘坐神狮 126 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:26,000 进入战场去毁灭水牛阿修罗 127 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,000 杜尔迦女神 128 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,000 女性创造力量的象征 129 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,000 或者叫女性力量 130 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,000 杜尔迦 无畏的女神 131 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:37,000 我做成了杜尔迦女神的意象 132 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:39,000 和她所有的属性和特质 133 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,000 我专属的意象 134 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:44,000 在她那种神秘符号的推动下 135 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:47,000 并伴随着我对训练的热情 136 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:50,000 我像激光刀般精准的专注于我的舞蹈 137 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:52,000 像激光刀般专注这样一个领域 138 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:55,000 在手术之后我跳了几周的舞 139 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:58,000 在化疗和放射疗法的治疗周期我依然跳舞 140 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:01,000 我的治疗医生很惊异 141 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,000 我在化疗和放射的期间跳舞 142 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,000 我纠缠着让他使治疗周期 143 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:08,000 配合我的舞蹈计划 144 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,000 我所成就的是 145 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,000 我摆脱了癌症 146 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:17,000 专注于我的舞蹈 147 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:21,000 是的,癌症只成为我生命中的一页 148 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,000 我的故事 149 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,000 是一个克服挫折 150 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,000 障碍和挑战的故事 151 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,000 那些生命带给你的 152 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:34,000 我的故事是思想的力量 153 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:37,000 我的故事是选择的力量 154 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,000 是专注的力量 155 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:42,000 这是一种力量让我们注意那些 156 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:45,000 赋予我们生机活力 157 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,000 深刻的感动我们 158 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:50,000 和令癌症变得无足轻重的东西 159 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,000 我的故事是意境的力量 160 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,000 是意象的力量 161 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:56,000 我的意象是杜尔迦 162 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:59,000 杜尔迦无畏的女神 163 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,000 她也叫做Simhanandini 164 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,000 骑狮子的人 165 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,000 在我度过难关的过程中 166 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:09,000 我驾驭了我自己的内在力量 167 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:11,000 我的内在恢复力 168 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:14,000 我武装自己并联合治疗效果 169 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,000 我继续治疗 170 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,000 我经历了与癌症的战争 171 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:21,000 我命令那些肆意妄为的细胞顺从起来 172 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:26,000 我希望被世人认可,不是作为癌症幸存者 173 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,000 而是作为癌症征服者 174 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,000 我向你们呈现一段我的舞蹈 175 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:33,000 “狮子吼经”(Simhanandani) 176 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:36,000 (鼓掌) 177 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:45,000 (音乐) 178 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:44,000 (鼓掌)