0:00:02.098,0:00:04.588 Gonna level with you guys,[br]I'm gonna keep it real here... 0:00:04.588,0:00:06.965 I, uh, wear hearing aids. [br]In both ears. 0:00:07.205,0:00:09.558 Not exactly street legal.[br]Keep that on the DL. 0:00:09.558,0:00:12.329 - [Audience laughs][br]- That doesn't mean anything. 0:00:12.529,0:00:14.190 [Audience laughs] 0:00:14.190,0:00:16.300 I do wear hearing aids, [br]but I don't want any pity. 0:00:16.300,0:00:17.360 No sympathy. 0:00:17.410,0:00:20.151 I love my hearing aids. [br]In fact, you guys should be jealous 0:00:20.151,0:00:24.165 'cause I take my hearing aids [br]out to sleep, I sleep like a baby. 0:00:24.165,0:00:25.753 Oh, man. I don't hear a thing. 0:00:25.753,0:00:28.411 I wake up feeling so refreshed. [br]It's amazing. 0:00:28.411,0:00:30.932 It really makes you wonder [br]who has the disability. 0:00:30.942,0:00:32.873 It does. [br]It really does. 0:00:33.923,0:00:36.038 No, it's me. [br]I have the disability for sure. 0:00:36.038,0:00:38.643 - [Audience laughs][br]- Absolutely. This guy. 0:00:41.719,0:00:43.370 Since I take my hearing aids out to sleep, 0:00:43.370,0:00:45.251 I don't use the same [br]alarm clock you guys use. 0:00:45.251,0:00:48.258 I use a vibrating alarm clock. [br]I put it under my pillow 0:00:48.478,0:00:50.911 and it vibrates [br]so powerfully...it's amazing. 0:00:50.911,0:00:52.629 It's a life saver. [br]I love it. 0:00:52.629,0:00:54.197 But it's also terrifying. 0:00:54.737,0:00:56.095 So scary. 0:00:56.255,0:00:58.333 Because all my dreams[br]end in an earthquake. 0:00:58.333,0:01:01.641 [Audience laughs] 0:01:03.601,0:01:06.349 And my hearing aids aren't waterproof,[br]which is ridiculous, 0:01:06.349,0:01:08.453 so I have to take them [br]out when I'm taking a shower, 0:01:08.453,0:01:09.737 or when I go swimming. 0:01:09.737,0:01:11.883 So, you know, [br]pool parties are a nightmare. 0:01:12.343,0:01:14.360 I'm not very good at the game Marco Polo. 0:01:16.740,0:01:17.972 That's not my game. 0:01:18.992,0:01:22.098 Not a whole lot of "polo" happening [br]when I'm playing that game. 0:01:22.648,0:01:26.179 - Lots of Marco, but uh...[br]- [Audience laughs] 0:01:26.599,0:01:28.101 When I first started doing comedy 0:01:28.101,0:01:30.363 I didn't even want to do any jokes[br]about my hearing aids. 0:01:30.363,0:01:32.559 I didn't want to be the "hearing aid" guy. 0:01:32.559,0:01:35.562 I was watching this interview [br]with a really famous comedian. 0:01:35.692,0:01:39.467 And he talked about how he became famous, [br]for doing a certain type of joke. [br] 0:01:39.467,0:01:42.013 And when he tried to do other stuff, [br]people didn't want to hear it. 0:01:42.013,0:01:43.214 'Cause they pigeonholed him. 0:01:43.214,0:01:45.099 And as soon as I heard that[br]I was just like, "You know what?" 0:01:45.099,0:01:47.307 I'm not doing any jokes [br]about my hearing aids. 0:01:47.307,0:01:49.241 Ain't nobody putting [br]this guy in a box. 0:01:49.521,0:01:51.530 That's what I said, [br]and I meant it. 0:01:52.030,0:01:53.794 And then a couple minutes later 0:01:53.794,0:01:56.159 In the same interview, he talked[br]about how he made 0:01:56.159,0:01:58.485 20 million dollars last year. 0:02:01.875,0:02:03.897 That changed my perspective [br]quite a bit. 0:02:05.297,0:02:07.845 I remember when I heard [br]that part, I screamed so loud 0:02:07.845,0:02:09.230 my hearing aids broke. 0:02:10.220,0:02:13.001 'Cause I wear hearing aids. [br]I have a disability. 0:02:13.001,0:02:18.462 [Audience laughs and applauds] 0:02:18.762,0:02:22.634 I'm the hearing aid guy. [br]I assume you guys are laughing. 0:02:22.634,0:02:24.221 I can't hear.[br]I'm really deaf. 0:02:27.781,0:02:29.810 Anyways, guys, I wear hearing aids. 0:02:29.810,0:02:33.602 And, come on, that 20[br]million dollars, 0:02:33.602,0:02:35.151 are you kidding me? 0:02:35.241,0:02:37.468 I'm not leaving that kind [br]of money on the table. 0:02:37.468,0:02:38.698 Honestly, for $20 million 0:02:38.698,0:02:41.041 I'd go full Helen Keller. [br]Full Helen Keller. 0:02:41.041,0:02:47.824 [Audience laughing] 0:02:49.314,0:02:51.418 I'm after that Helen Keller[br]money, baby. 0:02:51.898,0:02:55.055 Oh man, could you imagine? [br]Full Helen Keller? 20 mil? 0:02:55.215,0:02:57.262 Oh man, I'd buy myself a yacht. 0:02:57.672,0:03:00.962 I'd be out on the open water,[br]just taking in all the beautiful smells. 0:03:01.302,0:03:02.362 What a dream. 0:03:06.992,0:03:09.755 Me and my partner[br]broke up recently. 0:03:09.885,0:03:10.907 And, uh-- 0:03:10.907,0:03:12.062 (silence) 0:03:12.062,0:03:13.799 Ooh, it got really quiet in here. 0:03:13.799,0:03:15.366 [Audience laughs] 0:03:15.406,0:03:17.693 Or did it?[br]No, I heard that. It did. 0:03:18.168,0:03:21.765 I wear hearing aids, yeah, [br]in both ears. 0:03:23.685,0:03:24.891 I know why it got quiet. 0:03:24.891,0:03:27.063 It got quiet because [br]I said "partner", right? 0:03:27.453,0:03:30.164 And as soon as [br]somebody says partner, 0:03:30.544,0:03:32.004 and you don't know them well, 0:03:32.114,0:03:34.593 You can't even focus [br]on the rest of the conversation. 0:03:34.593,0:03:37.512 You're just trying to solve[br]the mystery. 0:03:37.762,0:03:40.082 Hmm, "partner", huh? 0:03:41.312,0:03:42.662 I don't care [br]either way, man. 0:03:42.662,0:03:43.873 I just need to know! 0:03:45.693,0:03:48.586 You're all looking at me,[br]trying to crack the case right now. 0:03:51.266,0:03:52.612 Well, he's kinda got that lisp. 0:03:52.612,0:03:54.279 But that could be [br]the hearing impairment. 0:03:54.279,0:03:55.573 I don't know... 0:03:56.883,0:03:58.497 what you could attribute that to. 0:04:02.417,0:04:05.411 No, me and my girlfriend broke up,[br]to clear up that mystery. 0:04:06.921,0:04:10.982 - 'Cause I realized I was gay. [br]- [Audience laughs] 0:04:10.982,0:04:12.992 Thank you very much, guys![br]I'm the Hearing Aids Guy!