[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.95,0:00:05.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Two months ago, my kids and I\Nhuddled around a cell phone
Dialogue: 0,0:00:05.16,0:00:07.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,watching the live stream\Nof the Game Awards,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:07.48,0:00:10.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one of the video game\Nindustry's biggest nights.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.40,0:00:14.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They announced the nominees\Nfor the Game for Impact,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.08,0:00:17.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,an award that's given\Nto a thought-provoking video game
Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.16,0:00:20.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with a profound prosocial\Nmessage or meaning.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.96,0:00:22.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They opened the envelope
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.68,0:00:25.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they read the title of our video game.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.92,0:00:27.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,An award ...
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.32,0:00:29.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for impact.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.16,0:00:30.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was almost funny, actually,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.88,0:00:33.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I always thought\Nthat winning an award like that
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.56,0:00:36.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would have this huge impact on my life,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.24,0:00:39.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I found that the opposite is true.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.84,0:00:41.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The big nights,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:41.28,0:00:43.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the accomplishments --
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.40,0:00:44.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they fade.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.00,0:00:48.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the hardest nights of my life\Nhave stuck with me,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.44,0:00:50.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,impacting who I am
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.96,0:00:52.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and what I do.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.36,0:00:59.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In 2010, my third son, Joel, was diagnosed\Nwith a rare and aggressive brain tumor.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.48,0:01:02.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And before that year was finished,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.44,0:01:04.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,doctors sat my husband and I down
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.00,0:01:08.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and let us know\Nthat his tumor had returned
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.28,0:01:13.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,despite the most aggressive chemotherapy\Nand radiation that they could offer him.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.08,0:01:15.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,On that terrible night,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.00,0:01:20.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,after learning that Joel\Nhad perhaps four months to live,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.12,0:01:22.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I cuddled up with\Nmy two older sons in bed --
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.00,0:01:25.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they were five and three at the time --
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.56,0:01:28.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I never really knew\Nhow much they understood,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.68,0:01:32.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I started telling them a bedtime story.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.40,0:01:36.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I told them about this\Nvery brave knight named Joel
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.28,0:01:40.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and his adventure fighting\Na terrible dragon called cancer.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.72,0:01:44.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Every night, I told them\Nmore of the story,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.80,0:01:46.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I never let the story end.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.84,0:01:49.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was just building up a context\Nthat they could understand
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.00,0:01:52.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and hoping that our prayers\Nwould be answered
Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.28,0:01:54.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I would never\Nhave to tell them that that knight,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.80,0:01:57.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who had fought so bravely,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.12,0:01:58.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was done fighting
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.68,0:02:00.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and could rest now, forever.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.44,0:02:06.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Fortunately, I never did have to\Nfinish that bedtime story.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.96,0:02:09.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My children outgrew it.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.16,0:02:13.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Joel responded better than anyone expected\Nto palliative treatment,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.28,0:02:14.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and so instead of months,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.96,0:02:21.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we spent years learning how to love\Nour dying child with all of our hearts.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.08,0:02:24.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Learning to recognize\Nthat shameful feeling
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.64,0:02:27.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of holding back just a little love
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.56,0:02:30.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to try to spare ourselves\Njust a little pain
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.44,0:02:33.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,somewhere further down the road.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.76,0:02:36.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We pushed past that self-preservation
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.24,0:02:41.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because Joel was worth loving\Neven if that love could crush us.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.20,0:02:46.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that lesson of intense\Nvulnerability has changed me ...
Dialogue: 0,0:02:47.44,0:02:50.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,more than any award ever could.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.40,0:02:53.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We started living like Joel could live,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.76,0:02:59.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we began developing a video game\Ncalled "That Dragon, Cancer."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.92,0:03:02.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was the story of Joel.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.76,0:03:06.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was the story of hope\Nin the shadow of death.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.28,0:03:07.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was the story of faith
Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.64,0:03:10.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and doubt,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.12,0:03:15.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the realization that a wrestle\Nwith doubt is a part of faith --
Dialogue: 0,0:03:16.12,0:03:17.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,maybe the biggest part of it.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.56,0:03:22.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was a story that began as a miracle
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.04,0:03:24.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and ended as a memorial.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.84,0:03:27.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Music)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.96,0:03:29.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Giggle)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.24,0:03:30.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Clapping)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.60,0:03:34.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Music)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:34.20,0:03:37.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Video) Dad: Bouncing around,\Ndo you like that?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.28,0:03:38.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Giggle)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:38.52,0:03:39.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I love your giggle.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:39.76,0:03:41.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Music)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.32,0:03:47.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Giggle)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.60,0:03:54.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[A Journey of Hope In the Shadow of Death]
Dialogue: 0,0:03:55.28,0:03:58.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[That Dragon, Cancer]
Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.32,0:04:01.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Music)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.56,0:04:05.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you play "That Dragon, Cancer,"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.48,0:04:09.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're transformed\Ninto a witness of Joel's life,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.48,0:04:11.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,exploring an emotional landscape,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.68,0:04:17.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,clicking to discover more of what\Nwe as a family felt and experienced.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:17.24,0:04:21.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It feels a little bit\Nlike analyzing interactive poetry
Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.80,0:04:24.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because every game mechanic is a metaphor,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:24.16,0:04:26.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and so the more the player asks themselves
Dialogue: 0,0:04:26.56,0:04:30.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what we as designers\Nwere trying to express and why,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:30.52,0:04:32.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the richer the experience becomes.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:33.40,0:04:36.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We took that vulnerability\Nthat Joel taught us,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.44,0:04:39.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we encoded the game with it.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:39.52,0:04:43.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Players expect their video games\Nto offer them branching narrative
Dialogue: 0,0:04:43.12,0:04:46.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so that every decision\Nthat they make feels important
Dialogue: 0,0:04:46.68,0:04:49.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and can change the outcome of the game.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.40,0:04:52.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We subverted that principle\Nof game design,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:52.20,0:04:55.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,collapsing the choices in on the player
Dialogue: 0,0:04:55.60,0:04:57.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so that they discover for themselves
Dialogue: 0,0:04:57.40,0:05:01.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that there is nothing that they can do\Nthat will change the outcome for Joel.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:02.28,0:05:08.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they feel that discovery\Nas deeply and desperately as we felt it
Dialogue: 0,0:05:08.08,0:05:12.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on nights when we held Joel\Nin our arms praying for hours,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:12.28,0:05:17.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,stubbornly holding out hope for a grace\Nthat we could not create for ourselves.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:18.96,0:05:20.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We'd all prefer to win,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:21.16,0:05:23.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but when you discover that you can't win,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.56,0:05:26.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what do you value instead?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:27.60,0:05:29.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I never planned to write video games,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:29.84,0:05:32.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but these moments\Nthat really change our lives,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:32.40,0:05:36.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they often come as the result\Nof our hardship -- and not our glory.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.52,0:05:39.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When we thought that Joel could live,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:39.64,0:05:41.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I left the game designing to my husband.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:41.80,0:05:43.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I chimed in here and there
Dialogue: 0,0:05:43.88,0:05:46.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with a scene or two and some suggestions.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:46.88,0:05:49.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But after the night that Joel died,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:50.48,0:05:51.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the passion,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:51.92,0:05:56.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the possibility of sharing Joel's life\Nthrough our video game --
Dialogue: 0,0:05:56.12,0:05:58.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it was something that I couldn't resist.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:58.28,0:05:59.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I started writing more,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:59.64,0:06:02.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I sat in on our team's design meetings,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:02.08,0:06:05.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I added more ideas\Nand I helped direct scenes.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:05.20,0:06:10.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I discovered that creating\Na video game is telling a story,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:10.12,0:06:12.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but with an entirely new vocabulary.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:12.88,0:06:18.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All the same elements of imagination\Nand symbolism are there,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:18.44,0:06:21.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but they're just partnered\Nwith player agency
Dialogue: 0,0:06:21.08,0:06:23.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and system responsiveness.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:24.08,0:06:25.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's challenging work.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:25.76,0:06:28.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have to think\Nin a totally new way to do it,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:28.80,0:06:30.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I love it.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:30.48,0:06:33.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I wouldn't have known\Nthat without Joel.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:34.28,0:06:36.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe you're a little surprised
Dialogue: 0,0:06:36.60,0:06:41.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by our choice to share our story\Nof terminal cancer through a video game.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:42.36,0:06:45.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Perhaps you're even thinking\Nlike so many people before you:
Dialogue: 0,0:06:45.72,0:06:48.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,cancer is not a game.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:49.28,0:06:51.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, tell that\Nto any pediatric cancer parent
Dialogue: 0,0:06:51.48,0:06:55.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's ever taken an exam glove\Nand blown it up into a balloon,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:55.44,0:06:58.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or transformed a syringe\Ninto a rocket ship,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:58.20,0:07:02.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or let their child ride their IV pole\Nthrough the hospital halls
Dialogue: 0,0:07:02.36,0:07:04.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like it was a race car.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:04.88,0:07:06.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because when you have children,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:07.00,0:07:08.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,everything is a game.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:09.64,0:07:13.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when your young child\Nexperiences something traumatic,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:13.60,0:07:17.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you work even harder to make sure\Nthat their life feels like a game
Dialogue: 0,0:07:17.68,0:07:21.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because children naturally\Nexplore their worlds through play.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:22.32,0:07:25.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,While cancer can steal\Nmany things from a family,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:25.28,0:07:26.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it shouldn't steal play.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:27.88,0:07:31.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you're listening to me\Nand you're trying to imagine this family
Dialogue: 0,0:07:31.48,0:07:35.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that revolves entirely\Naround a dying child,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:35.72,0:07:39.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you can't imagine joy\Nas part of that picture,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:39.76,0:07:42.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then we were right\Nto share our story with you,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:42.84,0:07:46.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because that season of our life was hard.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:46.52,0:07:49.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Unspeakably hard at times,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:49.32,0:07:51.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it was also pure hope,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:52.00,0:07:53.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,deep love
Dialogue: 0,0:07:53.64,0:07:56.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and joy like I have never\Nexperienced since.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:57.72,0:08:01.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Our video game was our attempt\Nto share that world
Dialogue: 0,0:08:01.88,0:08:04.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with people who hadn't\Nexperienced it before,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:04.12,0:08:07.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because we never could imagine\Nthat world until it became ours.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:09.20,0:08:12.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We made a video game that's hard to play.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:13.36,0:08:15.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It will never be a blockbuster.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:15.64,0:08:19.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People have to prepare themselves\Nto invest emotionally
Dialogue: 0,0:08:19.40,0:08:22.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in a story that they know\Nwill break their hearts.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:23.88,0:08:26.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But when our hearts break,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:26.24,0:08:28.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they heal a little differently.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:30.00,0:08:34.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My broken heart has been healing\Nwith a new and a deeper compassion --
Dialogue: 0,0:08:34.92,0:08:37.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a desire to sit with people in their pain,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:37.88,0:08:40.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to hear their stories\Nand try to help tell them
Dialogue: 0,0:08:40.92,0:08:42.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so that they know that they're seen.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:44.60,0:08:48.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,On the night when "That Dragon, Cancer"\Nwon the Game for Impact Award,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:48.96,0:08:50.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we cheered,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:50.40,0:08:53.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we smiled and we talked about Joel
Dialogue: 0,0:08:53.60,0:08:55.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the impact he had on our life --
Dialogue: 0,0:08:55.88,0:08:59.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on all of those hard and hopeful nights\Nthat we shared with him
Dialogue: 0,0:09:00.00,0:09:01.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when he changed our hearts
Dialogue: 0,0:09:01.48,0:09:07.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and taught us so much more\Nabout life and love and faith and purpose.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:08.56,0:09:14.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That award will never mean as much to me\Nas even a single photograph of my son,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:15.20,0:09:19.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it does represent all of the people\Nwho his life has impacted,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:19.88,0:09:21.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,people I'll never meet.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:22.00,0:09:24.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They write me emails sometimes.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:24.88,0:09:30.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They tell me that they miss Joel,\Neven though they never met him.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:30.36,0:09:35.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They describe the tears\Nthat they've shed for my son,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:35.92,0:09:39.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it makes my burden of grief\Njust a little bit lighter
Dialogue: 0,0:09:39.76,0:09:41.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,knowing that it's shared\Nwith a 10-year-old
Dialogue: 0,0:09:41.88,0:09:43.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,watching a YouTube playthrough,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:43.92,0:09:48.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or a doctor playing on his airplane\Nwith a smartphone,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:48.16,0:09:53.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or a professor introducing Joel\Nto her first-year philosophy students.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:54.80,0:09:58.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We made a video game that's hard to play.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:59.28,0:10:02.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But that feels just right to me,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:02.24,0:10:04.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because the hardest moments of our lives
Dialogue: 0,0:10:04.84,0:10:08.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,change us more than any goal\Nwe could ever accomplish.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:09.32,0:10:11.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tragedy has shifted my heart
Dialogue: 0,0:10:12.00,0:10:15.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,more than any dream\NI could ever see come true.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:16.12,0:10:17.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:17.36,0:10:21.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)