0:00:19.032,0:00:20.832
I'd like to start with a story.

0:00:21.762,0:00:24.752
Addison was an eight-year-old little boy.

0:00:25.353,0:00:27.613
He was as blond as could be,

0:00:28.083,0:00:30.663
he had a quirky sense of humor,

0:00:31.473,0:00:34.583
he loved to build, he loved Legos.

0:00:35.323,0:00:38.163
The other thing he loved was Spider-Man,

0:00:38.853,0:00:41.123
he loved all things Spider-Man.

0:00:42.373,0:00:47.094
Addison also was a very thin little boy,

0:00:48.264,0:00:54.484
he was pale, and he had a cough[br]that literally wrecked his body.

0:00:54.894,0:00:58.593
I had never seen or heard[br]anything like it in my life.

0:00:58.593,0:01:01.313
You see, Addison had cystic fibrosis,

0:01:02.043,0:01:06.714
and I was his brand-new,[br]newly minted nursing student.

0:01:07.314,0:01:09.273
It was all new to me.

0:01:10.133,0:01:13.663
Addison had had a good day -[br]I was so grateful for that -

0:01:14.003,0:01:16.643
he actually made it to the playroom,

0:01:16.643,0:01:19.543
he was able to build[br]some battleships with Legos.

0:01:19.983,0:01:25.014
He also had all of his treatments[br]for his lungs, for his respiratory system,

0:01:25.394,0:01:28.404
and he also was able to make it through[br]

0:01:28.404,0:01:31.193
what I considered[br]a mini-mountain of medication.

0:01:31.713,0:01:35.914
And he was able to take that[br]with this special applesauce,

0:01:36.184,0:01:39.384
with a lot of extra cinnamon,[br]that his mother had made for him.

0:01:39.804,0:01:43.524
And together, his mother and I[br]helped him get through the day.

0:01:44.714,0:01:47.005
He had had a lot of activity that day,

0:01:47.525,0:01:51.684
and he was getting tired,[br]so he needed to rest.

0:01:52.154,0:01:54.054
So he climbed into his bed,

0:01:54.524,0:01:57.775
we tucked him in with, of course,[br]the Spider-Man comforter,

0:01:58.205,0:02:02.103
and he went off to sleep,[br]drifted off to sleep.

0:02:02.103,0:02:03.683
And I thought to myself,

0:02:04.033,0:02:07.393
I was so happy for him,[br]he had had a good day,

0:02:07.633,0:02:09.814
Addison had had a great day.

0:02:10.164,0:02:12.625
Of course, as the new[br]nursing student, I thought,

0:02:12.865,0:02:15.345
"He had a good day: I had a good day!"

0:02:15.665,0:02:17.474
I breathed a sigh of relief.

0:02:18.474,0:02:22.505
That was, until his mother[br]asked me the question.

0:02:24.415,0:02:28.724
She simply said to me[br]and asked me, "Can we talk?"

0:02:30.554,0:02:33.805
Well, I have to tell you,[br]my first thought was, "About what?"

0:02:34.335,0:02:36.576
I kept thinking to myself,

0:02:36.576,0:02:38.576
"There are a lot of people[br]in this hospital

0:02:38.576,0:02:40.866
who know a lot more than I do."

0:02:41.266,0:02:43.455
I felt so unprepared.

0:02:44.125,0:02:46.885
I was trained as a "doer," you see.

0:02:47.495,0:02:50.887
I did not feel particularly[br]comfortable or capable

0:02:50.887,0:02:53.385
when it came to these kinds[br]of conversations.

0:02:53.935,0:02:55.395
But I have to tell you,

0:02:55.395,0:03:01.076
I had the good sense that day to sit down,[br]and I basically listened.

0:03:02.236,0:03:06.236
And Addison's mother went on to tell me[br]some wonderful stories about her son;

0:03:06.236,0:03:08.337
I felt so privileged to hear them.

0:03:08.807,0:03:11.807
She told me what she was worried about:

0:03:12.087,0:03:15.857
She was worried that the medications[br]weren't as effective anymore,

0:03:15.857,0:03:19.167
that it took him longer and longer[br]in the hospital to get better.

0:03:20.447,0:03:22.776
But she also shared with me her hopes.

0:03:23.006,0:03:25.756
Of course she hoped for a cure[br]for cystic fibrosis,

0:03:26.306,0:03:28.698
and the thing she was most hopeful for

0:03:29.088,0:03:33.378
was that Addison's third-grade friends[br]would always stick by him,

0:03:34.188,0:03:37.046
that they would always[br]include him to birthday parties

0:03:37.046,0:03:38.742
and never leave him out.

0:03:38.972,0:03:41.246
That was what she hoped for the most.

0:03:42.286,0:03:45.737
That day I learned[br]some very important lessons.

0:03:46.387,0:03:50.617
I learned, first of all,

0:03:50.617,0:03:53.717
how important it is to tell your stories,

0:03:54.317,0:03:57.168
to be listened to, and to be known.

0:03:58.068,0:04:01.447
I didn't really think that I was[br]maybe the best person

0:04:01.447,0:04:03.848
to be doing this conversation[br]or listening,

0:04:04.008,0:04:06.076
but I was called upon that day.

0:04:06.336,0:04:12.028
I learned that that day I was called upon[br]to be present, not perfect.

0:04:13.738,0:04:17.078
Addison and his mother[br]set me on a path that day

0:04:17.078,0:04:19.763
that really has been my entire career,

0:04:19.763,0:04:22.718
and that is to help foster[br]these kinds of conversations

0:04:22.718,0:04:26.438
across what people feel is a divide,[br]where we have to be perfect,

0:04:27.248,0:04:29.368
and to help healthcare people

0:04:29.368,0:04:32.528
to feel more confident and comfortable[br]in these conversations.

0:04:33.488,0:04:36.229
So that is what I've dedicated myself to.

0:04:37.079,0:04:39.998
What I'd like to do now[br]is to fast-forward a little bit

0:04:39.998,0:04:44.159
and share with you a time in my life[br]when I was a patient.

0:04:44.769,0:04:47.018
And I want to invite[br]every single one of you

0:04:47.018,0:04:51.069
here in the audience to think of a time[br]when you were a patient

0:04:51.069,0:04:56.144
or someone in your life was a patient,[br]and to go there with me.

0:04:57.774,0:04:59.479
It was a happy time in my life,

0:04:59.479,0:05:01.799
I was pregnant for the third time

0:05:01.799,0:05:04.751
and my husband and I[br]were very, very hopeful

0:05:05.341,0:05:07.489
that this pregnancy was going to take.

0:05:07.869,0:05:11.230
You see, we had suffered[br]two miscarriages before this,

0:05:11.800,0:05:16.789
but we still were hopeful that this one -[br]"Yes! We're going to have a baby!"

0:05:17.439,0:05:20.031
So, with this news,[br]I went to the clinician

0:05:20.371,0:05:23.149
and I'm hoping that I'm going to hear[br]the baby's heartbeat.

0:05:23.669,0:05:25.629
It was very early and the clinician said,

0:05:25.629,0:05:28.699
"Look, it's OK, don't worry about it,[br]it's really early.

0:05:28.969,0:05:30.949
We'll try again next week."

0:05:31.379,0:05:33.490
So, we tried again next week.

0:05:33.490,0:05:35.590
Now, this time,[br]I didn't quite understand it,

0:05:35.590,0:05:38.920
but there was something wrong[br]with the battery and the Doppler machine,

0:05:38.920,0:05:41.511
so they couldn't really hear[br]the baby's heartbeat.

0:05:42.331,0:05:45.116
Again, I leave the office[br]thinking, "uh-oh!"

0:05:45.416,0:05:48.249
and the fear is starting[br]to creep up on me.

0:05:48.799,0:05:52.740
I go for the third the next week,[br]for the third visit now,

0:05:53.430,0:05:57.099
and again, now I'm really getting myself[br]kind of worked up and I'm worrying,

0:05:57.099,0:06:01.304
"Uh-oh, is this going to happen again[br]to me, to my husband?"

0:06:02.574,0:06:05.171
I explained this to the clinician, I said,

0:06:05.171,0:06:08.451
"I'm worried. I really feel like I need[br]to hear the baby's heartbeat,"

0:06:08.451,0:06:09.791
we didn't hear it that time.

0:06:09.791,0:06:13.340
I said, "I really think[br]I need an ultrasound, I'm worried."

0:06:13.340,0:06:15.180
And she said, "Well, I'm not worried."

0:06:15.180,0:06:16.730
And I said, "But I am!"

0:06:17.330,0:06:19.561
And I said, "Please, I think I need this."

0:06:20.011,0:06:23.152
And she said, "Well, OK, we'll order up[br]an ultrasound for you,

0:06:23.152,0:06:26.091
but I'm just going to put down[br]'because of maternal anxiety.'"

0:06:26.091,0:06:27.521
(Laughter)

0:06:28.811,0:06:30.881
I couldn't believe what I was hearing,

0:06:30.881,0:06:33.560
I thought, "Really?[br]You really can't understand

0:06:33.560,0:06:36.281
why I would be nervous,[br]why I would be anxious?"

0:06:36.281,0:06:39.131
But I said, "whatever,"[br]I just wanted the ultrasound.

0:06:39.531,0:06:44.631
So I find myself within a couple of hours[br]in the ultrasound suite in that position,

0:06:44.631,0:06:47.121
you know, in the hospital gown,[br]flat on my back,

0:06:47.431,0:06:52.081
and I am watching this radiology[br]technician's face like a hawk.

0:06:52.081,0:06:53.132
(Laughter)

0:06:53.132,0:06:56.001
Right? You guys,[br]you've been there, some of you.

0:06:56.461,0:07:00.259
And it's absolutely expressionless,[br]I can't tell: good news, bad news?

0:07:00.569,0:07:03.622
But I have to tell you,[br]the longer I'm not getting any good news,

0:07:03.622,0:07:06.378
just by virtue that I'm[br]not getting good news,

0:07:06.378,0:07:08.322
I'm starting to think the worst.

0:07:08.722,0:07:12.112
So I say to her, I broke the silence,[br]I said, "Can you tell me anything?

0:07:12.112,0:07:16.313
Can you see my baby's heartbeat?[br]Is my baby OK?"

0:07:16.863,0:07:19.314
I'm kind of expecting,[br]"Yeah, there's the heartbeat,

0:07:19.314,0:07:21.393
there's a little arm,[br]there's a little leg,"

0:07:21.393,0:07:22.883
and there was none of that.

0:07:22.883,0:07:25.043
And then she said those fateful words,

0:07:25.493,0:07:28.542
she said, "Well, the doctor[br]will call you with the results."

0:07:32.042,0:07:34.633
She said, "But there is[br]one thing I can tell you."

0:07:36.353,0:07:38.572
I said, "Really? What? Anything!"

0:07:39.122,0:07:41.652
And she said to me, "I want you to know

0:07:41.652,0:07:46.182
that you did a really great job[br]filling up your bladder for the test."

0:07:46.422,0:07:48.162
(Laughter)

0:07:48.402,0:07:52.972
And I thought to myself, "Really?[br]Is this good news or bad news?"

0:07:52.972,0:07:56.912
And of course, honestly,[br]I knew it was bad news.

0:07:57.572,0:08:00.743
Because I thought, "If the best thing[br]that is happening about today

0:08:00.743,0:08:04.103
is that I could fill up my bladder,[br]this is not good news."

0:08:04.673,0:08:08.883
And in fact, over the telephone,[br]from a doctor who I didn't know,

0:08:08.883,0:08:11.553
I found out that I had had[br]my third miscarriage.

0:08:12.433,0:08:16.991
Of course, I was heartbroken.[br]I felt like a failure.

0:08:18.041,0:08:21.342
The next morning I found myself[br]in an operating room.

0:08:21.872,0:08:23.934
"Now we're going to have the procedure."

0:08:25.484,0:08:30.270
I was very nervous[br]about this, very fearful.

0:08:30.910,0:08:37.113
On the operating table, I see[br]a semicircle of surgeons and nurses,

0:08:37.113,0:08:41.173
all in their surgical[br]scrubs suits and their caps,

0:08:41.173,0:08:46.504
and I saw the clinician -[br]the "maternal anxiety" clinician -

0:08:47.604,0:08:50.034
and I so had hoped[br]that she would come over to me

0:08:50.034,0:08:54.783
and talk to me, maybe comfort me,[br]tell me what to expect,

0:08:55.843,0:08:58.564
tell me maybe she was sorry[br]for what I was going through.

0:08:58.854,0:09:00.451
But that didn't happen.

0:09:01.051,0:09:06.431
And I just felt at such a loss[br]that I didn't have that opportunity

0:09:06.431,0:09:09.955
and I thought, "How sad for her[br]that she wasn't able to do that, either."

0:09:10.585,0:09:12.659
And again, it was a "note to self"

0:09:12.659,0:09:15.174
about how important[br]these conversations are.

0:09:15.554,0:09:17.085
But I have to tell you,

0:09:17.345,0:09:21.615
I had an anesthesiologist [br]who was behind me,

0:09:21.945,0:09:25.985
I never did see the man's face,[br]but he put his hand on my shoulder,

0:09:26.315,0:09:29.925
he squeezed my shoulder[br]and he talked to me in this left ear,

0:09:30.215,0:09:33.625
and he said to me, [br]"I will be with you the whole time.

0:09:34.585,0:09:37.085
I will watch over you."

0:09:38.885,0:09:41.165
And he said, "We'll get you through this."

0:09:43.445,0:09:46.295
Those words sustained me,[br]I have to tell you.

0:09:46.705,0:09:49.975
The next thing I knew,[br]I'm strapped down like this.

0:09:49.975,0:09:51.795
And I would say, "Hey, wait a second!

0:09:51.795,0:09:54.336
Wait until the patient is sedated[br]before you do that!"

0:09:54.336,0:09:58.036
It was really scary.[br]I felt very fearful.

0:09:58.606,0:10:01.275
There was a nurse[br]on the left-hand side of me

0:10:01.505,0:10:03.976
who said, "Give me your hand."

0:10:04.996,0:10:07.926
You bet your life I took that hand[br]and I squeezed it.

0:10:08.786,0:10:11.235
It was a little strange[br]because she had a glove on,

0:10:11.495,0:10:13.736
you know, it felt a little plastic.[br](Laughter)

0:10:13.736,0:10:17.206
But you know, it was a human hand[br]and it was warm.

0:10:17.206,0:10:18.917
That was the other thing I remember,

0:10:18.917,0:10:22.014
it was warm, and she squeezed it[br]as hard as I was squeezing her.

0:10:22.284,0:10:25.621
And the next thing I knew,[br]as soon as the medications did their work,

0:10:26.351,0:10:31.654
I drifted off and here I am,[br]talking to you.

0:10:32.544,0:10:34.956
Those experiences really stayed with me.

0:10:36.326,0:10:40.156
What I'd like to do now, [br]with that as backdrop,

0:10:40.646,0:10:45.936
is to talk to you about a philosophy[br]that I have come to with my colleagues.

0:10:46.646,0:10:49.346
I like to think of it[br]as the "one-room schoolhouse."

0:10:49.876,0:10:54.306
And in this one-room schoolhouse,[br]we bring together physicians, nurses,

0:10:54.306,0:10:59.025
social workers, psychologists,[br]chaplains, medical interpreters.

0:10:59.385,0:11:02.748
We bring them together with patients[br]and with family members.

0:11:03.178,0:11:05.776
We leave our badges at the door,[br]and we learn together

0:11:05.776,0:11:09.016
about these kinds[br]of conversations, what matters.

0:11:09.656,0:11:12.481
I've learned from the families[br]that, years later,

0:11:12.481,0:11:16.671
it isn't the medications or the surgeries,[br]the treatments that they remember.

0:11:16.671,0:11:20.494
What they really remember is[br]the words that we said to them,

0:11:20.920,0:11:24.860
our kindness that we extended,[br]how we made them feel,

0:11:24.860,0:11:27.194
and the way we treated them.

0:11:27.194,0:11:31.334
That's what stays with people,[br]the crucible of the whole experience.

0:11:32.113,0:11:34.854
So this is what we learn[br]in the one-room schoolhouse.

0:11:35.204,0:11:37.785
I have learned through my own training,

0:11:37.785,0:11:40.415
as not only a nurse,[br]but as a clinical psychologist.

0:11:40.785,0:11:42.914
I mentioned a lot of "doing,"

0:11:42.914,0:11:46.393
and so much of our experience[br]and our training

0:11:46.393,0:11:50.714
is focused on the technical[br]aspects of care, the clinical excellence -

0:11:50.714,0:11:54.518
which absolutely we all need,[br]we all want, we expect that -

0:11:54.898,0:11:59.838
but the one-room schoolhouse is about[br]the other half of the medical equation,

0:12:00.087,0:12:02.670
it's about the emotional standard of care.

0:12:03.140,0:12:06.730
I want to show you what happens[br]inside this one-room schoolhouse.

0:12:07.961,0:12:12.631
On your right, my left,[br]is one of our physicians,

0:12:12.631,0:12:17.311
one of our learners, and she is[br]actually with two of our actors.

0:12:18.271,0:12:20.891
We work with actors;[br]they are really coached

0:12:20.891,0:12:23.993
by our family members and our patients.

0:12:24.423,0:12:28.261
She is getting the opportunity,[br]in a way, to try this on for size.

0:12:28.511,0:12:29.867
How to introduce herself.

0:12:29.867,0:12:32.913
A lot of times in the hospital,[br]people would say, "Hi, I'm G.I.,"

0:12:33.363,0:12:36.147
"I'm renal.,"[br]"I'm cardiac."

0:12:36.617,0:12:38.964
You have to start[br]with where they're at, you know.

0:12:38.964,0:12:41.174
Not really. You may be:

0:12:41.174,0:12:44.039
"I'm Dr. Elaine Meyer,[br]I'm a clinical psychologist,

0:12:44.039,0:12:46.584
I work here in the pediatric[br]intensive care unit."

0:12:46.584,0:12:48.781
You start with wherever the person is at.

0:12:49.001,0:12:50.751
The way you introduce yourself,

0:12:50.751,0:12:51.900
sitting down -

0:12:51.900,0:12:54.772
When you sit down,[br]even if you only have five minutes,

0:12:54.772,0:12:59.112
it seems so much better;[br]it's of higher quality.

0:12:59.447,0:13:02.089
This doesn't have to be[br]about a healthcare conversation.

0:13:02.089,0:13:04.738
This is a conversation in life[br]that's important, right?

0:13:04.738,0:13:06.513
Just sit down. Lean into it.

0:13:06.513,0:13:09.083
As you can see,[br]she's touching this person.

0:13:09.501,0:13:12.529
There's something happening here.

0:13:12.709,0:13:15.746
This could be any kind[br]of a difficult conversation:

0:13:15.746,0:13:18.207
it could be about a new diagnosis;

0:13:18.207,0:13:21.387
it could be that maybe[br]they're hearing about a miscarriage;

0:13:21.965,0:13:24.283
they could be hearing[br]about a medical error,

0:13:24.953,0:13:29.433
where this clinician might be apologizing[br]to them or talking to them

0:13:29.433,0:13:31.524
about we're going to do[br]to make this right,

0:13:31.924,0:13:34.533
to help make the situation whole again.

0:13:35.063,0:13:38.693
So this is the kind of thing that happens[br]inside of the one-room schoolhouse.

0:13:39.122,0:13:41.172
The other thing[br]in the one-room schoolhouse,

0:13:41.172,0:13:45.346
is that practice makes better,[br]practice doesn't make perfect,

0:13:45.346,0:13:48.276
especially in this art form[br]of conversation like this.

0:13:49.206,0:13:52.286
Again, being called upon[br]to be present, not perfect.

0:13:54.244,0:13:56.418
You all know these guys, right?

0:13:56.418,0:14:00.958
This is one of the best mnemonics[br]because everybody knows The Wizard of Oz.

0:14:00.958,0:14:04.499
What are the ingredients of these kinds[br]of difficult conversations?

0:14:04.499,0:14:08.868
What I'd like to do is share with you[br]a way that I like to think about that.

0:14:08.868,0:14:11.960
Remember the lion? He was after courage.

0:14:11.960,0:14:13.586
So, what I would say to you is,

0:14:13.586,0:14:18.367
"Never, ever underestimate[br]the power of your courage,

0:14:18.367,0:14:21.456
your leadership,[br]your willingness to go there

0:14:21.456,0:14:23.954
with a patient, with a loved one."

0:14:23.954,0:14:27.960
This is not just about healthcare[br]conversations, this is in life.

0:14:28.670,0:14:30.861
Carl Rogers, the great psychotherapist,

0:14:30.861,0:14:35.021
teaches us that one anxious person[br]in the room is enough.

0:14:35.781,0:14:37.301
Do you know what that means?

0:14:37.301,0:14:43.441
That you have to be that calm,[br]non-anxious person, or try to be.

0:14:43.721,0:14:46.212
Again, just as I did[br]with Addison's mother,

0:14:46.212,0:14:49.272
I sat down and I listened,[br]I did the best I could.

0:14:50.692,0:14:52.812
What about Scarecrow? What was he after?

0:14:52.812,0:14:55.970
Remember what he wanted? Brains.

0:14:56.180,0:14:59.705
This would be the information[br]that you have to share, the knowledge,

0:14:59.705,0:15:02.265
your clinical experience, your wisdom.

0:15:03.230,0:15:04.292
Very important.

0:15:04.292,0:15:07.515
If you were newly diagnosed[br]with prostate cancer or diabetes,

0:15:08.055,0:15:10.478
you certainly would want[br]a clinician in front of you

0:15:10.478,0:15:14.134
who could explain what was happening,[br]in terms that you could understand it,

0:15:14.134,0:15:15.884
that wouldn't scare or frighten you,

0:15:15.884,0:15:17.380
that would help you feel like,

0:15:17.380,0:15:20.397
"I can get through this,[br]we can get through this."

0:15:20.397,0:15:22.666
Just a little example:[br]I work with a lot of kids

0:15:22.666,0:15:26.936
and sometimes we may say things like,[br]"We're going to put you on a stretcher."

0:15:27.728,0:15:32.068
Well, the kid may say, "Ouch! Stretch?[br]I don't want to be stretched!"

0:15:32.986,0:15:37.276
This is the Scarecrow part[br]that we learn about: our word choice.

0:15:37.576,0:15:41.403
Instead of saying to that child[br]"I'm going to put you on a stretcher,"

0:15:41.712,0:15:43.048
I may say something like,

0:15:43.048,0:15:45.676
"We're going to put you[br]on a little bed that has wheels,

0:15:45.676,0:15:48.340
and then we'll be able to take you[br]where you need to go."

0:15:48.730,0:15:51.500
So, that's the brains, the word choice.

0:15:51.956,0:15:56.306
And what about Tin Man?[br]Remember what he went to Oz for?

0:15:57.038,0:16:01.938
Heart. The heart is the little kindnesses[br]that we can extend every day,

0:16:02.108,0:16:05.047
the compassion, the mercy[br]that we can show people,

0:16:05.047,0:16:08.849
especially people who are hurting,[br]or suffering, or ill.

0:16:09.789,0:16:15.694
Maya Angelou, the great American poet,[br]teaches us that in order to survive,

0:16:15.694,0:16:19.414
a human being needs to live[br]in a home furnished with hope.

0:16:19.746,0:16:22.514
So many of these conversations[br]are about hope.

0:16:22.514,0:16:26.804
They're about learning to ask questions[br]like, "What's on your mind?

0:16:27.288,0:16:32.888
What's worrying you? How can I be helpful?[br]What are you hoping for?"

0:16:33.641,0:16:35.141
You get the idea.

0:16:35.580,0:16:39.590
What I'd like to do is share with you[br]just a really brief story

0:16:39.590,0:16:42.244
about how this all came together[br]for what I would call

0:16:42.244,0:16:45.036
"a very reluctant learner"[br]to the one-room schoolhouse.

0:16:45.396,0:16:49.196
This was a clinician who didn't want[br]to have these conversations at all.

0:16:49.516,0:16:52.974
He had joined the[br]Emergency Medical Transport Team,

0:16:52.974,0:16:56.703
so he just thought, "I'm going to bypass[br]having these conversations altogether.

0:16:56.703,0:16:58.974
I'm not with people very long."

0:16:59.244,0:17:03.057
Well, it was a good plan,[br]but it didn't quite work that way.

0:17:03.057,0:17:06.899
After he had spent some time with us[br]in the one-room schoolhouse,

0:17:06.899,0:17:10.147
he was called on an emergency transport

0:17:10.147,0:17:14.187
to an emergency room[br]with a 14-day-old baby girl.

0:17:14.187,0:17:16.510
The rest of the team[br]rushed over to the baby girl,

0:17:16.510,0:17:18.212
and out of the corner of his eye

0:17:18.212,0:17:20.786
he saw the father[br]at the foot of the baby's bed,

0:17:20.786,0:17:24.946
and he was saying, "Come on,[br]little lady. Come on, little lady."

0:17:25.422,0:17:29.380
The mother was in the corner[br]of the room, crying, alone.

0:17:29.710,0:17:33.890
Effortlessly, he found himself[br]walking in that direction.

0:17:34.144,0:17:37.374
He said, "I just couldn't believe[br]that I felt like I could do this."

0:17:37.615,0:17:39.283
And then the next thing he did was,

0:17:39.283,0:17:42.573
he knelt down next to the mother[br]and took her hand.

0:17:42.807,0:17:45.537
He didn't sit. He didn't stoop. He knelt.

0:17:45.864,0:17:48.242
He realized that this was sacred space,

0:17:48.242,0:17:52.332
and he went on to explain to that family[br]what was happening to their baby girl,

0:17:53.104,0:17:57.474
who, unfortunately, had severe dehydration[br]and was having a cardiac arrest.

0:17:57.842,0:17:59.782
It was extremely scary.

0:18:00.048,0:18:02.770
That family thanked him[br]and the team afterwards,

0:18:02.770,0:18:06.220
and he said, "Well, I didn't do anything.[br]The team did everything."

0:18:06.220,0:18:09.300
And they said, "Oh no,[br]you helped us through this."

0:18:09.300,0:18:13.977
So many times people naturally devalue[br]the conversations that we have

0:18:13.982,0:18:17.459
and think it's all about[br]the procedures and the actions,

0:18:17.769,0:18:22.673
and he learned that day that it was really[br]about being present, not perfect,

0:18:22.673,0:18:25.093
and to going there with the patient.

0:18:26.203,0:18:29.264
So, coming full circle here,[br]what I'd like to do

0:18:29.264,0:18:33.212
is to share with you[br]a piece of my inspiration:

0:18:33.212,0:18:36.508
that's a lot younger me[br]and that's my little boy,

0:18:36.508,0:18:39.761
and all I have to do is think about him

0:18:39.761,0:18:42.635
and all the people who helped[br]bring him into the world,

0:18:42.635,0:18:46.975
and I've got my inspiration[br]to know why these conversations matter

0:18:46.975,0:18:50.369
and to keep having them[br]in my world, in my work.

0:18:50.369,0:18:52.405
And I encourage every single one of you

0:18:52.405,0:18:55.435
who's sitting in these seats today[br]or listening to this

0:18:55.865,0:18:59.930
to dig deep, find your taproot,[br]find your inspiration,

0:18:59.930,0:19:02.500
so that you, too, can have[br]these kinds of conversations

0:19:02.500,0:19:05.786
with people you're taking care of[br]and that you love.

0:19:06.146,0:19:10.316
And I'd like to give and close[br]with this last message for you:

0:19:11.407,0:19:14.747
"Once upon a time,[br]you wanted to change the world."

0:19:15.500,0:19:20.240
And I want to tell you that you still can,[br]one conversation at a time.

0:19:20.994,0:19:22.122
Thank you.

0:19:22.122,0:19:24.322
(Applause)